with venom on your tongue - wildestdreams (2024)

Chapter 1: 1 | LOUIS

Chapter Text

Louis Tomlinson strived for perfection in everything he did.

From his pristinely pressed school uniform, to his meticulously organized class notes, and his strict, color-coded schedule to ensure he was at the top of his class, he never missed a single detail. He paid attention to things most people ignored and he brought class, integrity, and intellect wherever he went.

That was expected as a student at Saint Augustine Academy, an elite co-ed boarding school, nestled in a small New England town called Mayfair. Built in the early 1900s, it spanned several acres of land with tall, tan gothic buildings covered in ivy and surrounded by a deep, green forest. There were three dormitories on the edge of the campus, all within a short walk of the two buildings that contained the classrooms. Admissions and administration had their own designated space while students were free to roam in the dining hall, gymnasium, sports fields, courtyards, and library.

Only those with wealth or status were given a chance at Saint Augustine. They were judicious and frugal when it came to selecting the students who would be granted a seat at their prestigious school. But once selected, everyone was ensured a bright and successful future. Alumni ranged from top athletes, the most cutthroat and successful lawyers, the highest-ranking medical professionals, and notable politicians.

Which was why Louis couldn’t understand why someone like Harry Styles studied here.

Studied was too generous of a word. Louis knew the boy never opened a single textbook with the intention of reading from it. The co*cky football player was way too busy with his many dalliances and partying. It didn’t help that the entire school was constantly at his beck and call, fawning all over him like he was the Second Coming. It was disgusting and embarrassing. More embarrassing than whatever Styles was currently spewing in their English class.

“At the heart of it, The Great Gatsby is a love story,” he drawled, his strawberry pink lips stretched into a smooth, confident smile. “It’s about the sacrifices Gatsby made for Daisy. The lengths he went to just to be able to see her again, taking the fall for her so she didn’t have to suffer through the repercussions of her actions, and letting her go when she chose someone else over him. He died for his love because it was genuine, and I think that’s the biggest theme of the book. Love.”

Louis scoffed quietly to himself.

Harry turned to look at him, eyes gleaming brightly. “Did you have something to add, Louis?”

He must not have scoffed as quietly as he thought. Louis straightened in his seat as he looked Harry squarely in the eyes. “Actually, I do. Did you even read the book?”

“I’m sure he did, Mr. Tomlinson,” their teacher, Mr. Collins, piped up from the front of the class.

“I’m not so sure, Mr. Collins,” Louis supplied, his voice calm as he maintained his gaze on Harry. “Because if he did, he’d know that the biggest theme of the book is the American Dream and how it turned from achieving happiness and individualism to instead being all about success, gluttony, and having an abundance of wealth. On the surface, yes, it does sound like a love story, but most characters in the book were cheating on each other. They weren’t loyal and —”

“— the main characters are Gatsby and Daisy, and they both loved each other from the start to the end,” Harry cut in.

“Yes, but that’s not what this novel is about,” Louis replied, his voice getting louder at the interruption. “This novel is set right after World War I and the rise of the stock market. It led to an increase in wealth, so much so, that the people didn’t know what to do with it, but they still wanted more. More money, more status, more of everything. That’s the entire reason Nick leaves New York in the end. Because he realizes how damaging it all was. They were disillusioned. Gatsby thought if he had money and if he threw those lavish parties, he could have Daisy and they could live their happy life — the American Dream — but that didn’t happen. It was that very love that led to his demise.”

“And you don’t think that love is important?” Harry questioned. “I’m not disagreeing that the American Dream isn’t a major theme in the book, I’m just saying it’s not the most important one.”

“If you sincerely read the book and thought, yes, what a wonderful love story that was,” Louis said haughtily, “then I feel bad for you. You clearly don’t have a good sense of what love is.”

Harry looked way too amused for his liking as he countered, “I’m not claiming it was a happy love story. But it is a sad one.”

“It’s an empty one.”

“Now that’s just ludicrous —”

The sound of the school bell interrupted whatever Styles was about to say.

“Alright, well that’s it for today,” Mr. Collins said. “Be sure to have your papers in by next week. I’ll see you all then.”

Louis smirked to himself as he collected his books and placed them in his book bag. He enjoyed getting the last word and it seemed the universe was on his side with this one. As he got up from his chair, he noticed the bemused expressions on his classmates’ expressions, watching both Harry and Louis to see if they’d continue their heated debate. Harry, for his part, was already out the door, a lazy sway to his steps.

Louis’ best friend, Liam, sidled up beside him. “Well, that got heated fast.”

“Doesn’t it always?” Louis asked as the two of them exited the classroom into the outdoor passageway. The class buildings all had an open plan so students were able to get some fresh air as they went to their lectures. There was an outdoor courtyard within each building where students often stopped by to socialize or get some work done. That was where Harry went. He was standing there now, surrounded by his many admirers and fans, as always.

Louis wondered what everyone saw in him. How could he be the only one who saw through Harry’s weird facade? It was so strange to him.

“I can see both sides of the debate,” Liam went on. “He’s probably the hopeless romantic type, so he overlooked the themes of the American Dream.”

Louis scoffed as he swiftly walked toward his next class and away from Harry and his minions. “Hopeless romantic? Harry? I highly doubt it. He’s currently dating Rowan Alistair, his fourth girlfriend of the year, not including two of the boys he dated during the Winter. He’s not a hopeless romantic. He can’t even hold a relationship down.”

Much to his dismay, Liam laughed, always amused by Louis’ thoughts and rants about Harry. “I didn’t even know about him and Rowan.”

“You didn’t? He’s been gallivanting across campus with her for the last few weeks. It’s Instagram official and everything. Her captions are all about how in love they are.”

“Yeah, well, you pay attention to Harry a lot more than I do.”

“I don’t pay attention to him. I pay attention to a lot of things, but not him.”

“Louis, you’re obsessed with him.”

Louis grunted and rolled his eyes, but he didn’t have it in himself to argue when he knew it was probably a little true. He obsessed and fixated on a lot of things like his studies, being number one in the class rankings every year, and having the fastest time on the swim team. He supposed at times he obsessed and fixated on Harry, too. But that was all for academic purposes. An unspoken competition, if you will. But their rivalry didn’t exactly start like that.

In freshman year, Harry had knocked on Louis’ dorm room by mistake. He’d meant to knock on Gabe Davenport’s room, which was just next door, for a “hook up” as Harry phrased it. Louis might have been a tad bit rude when he told Harry he had the wrong room, but that was only because Harry shouldn’t have been out so late after curfew like a floozy. Harry didn’t appreciate his tone and they both squabbled a bit before Louis slammed his door in Harry’s face. At that point, Louis had already known who Harry was.

His dad was the legendary and famous Jack Styles — a former NFL player and an Eat Clean Bro sponsor. Harry was an instant celebrity amongst their peers and faculty the second he stepped foot on their campus, and Louis didn’t understand the hype. Sports wasn’t that big of a deal at this school, but in recent years, it became a larger affair. The school was putting more funds toward it and with Jack Styles’ son attending, it put the school on the public’s radar. Louis didn’t think he and Harry would cross paths or be friends anyway, but that was only until he spoke with his own parents, William and Lenora Tomlinson.

They were both once students at Saint Augustine as well. It was how they met and where they eventually fell in love and got married. William went on to become a Congressman while Lenora was a lawyer. They stayed in touch with the headmaster and because of their close connection with the campus and administration, they always had a view of Louis’ grades and classes. They were the ones who told him that he and Harry Styles were neck to neck in terms of grades.

It was a shock at first. Louis didn’t peg Harry as the studious type. He seemed to always be goofing off and playing football. He excelled in the sport and joined the Varsity team in his sophom*ore year. By junior year, he was a quarterback, following in his father’s footsteps. But he was also trampling all over Louis’ goals of being top of their class, and Louis couldn’t just sit and watch it happen. He doubled down on his studies and stopped underestimating Styles’ ability and smarts. He’d managed to beat him in freshmen and sophom*ore years in the class rankings, but Harry still rubbed him the wrong way.

He was constantly smirking at Louis like there was some inside joke between them and Louis just wasn’t aware of it. Louis wouldn’t necessarily say this was all one-sided because Harry definitely found him just as aggravating. They argued in every class they shared and Harry seemed to enjoy riling him up. However, Louis’ strong aversion toward Harry stemmed from something deeper. While Louis had to try so hard to stay focused and be the best, Harry somehow did the same things with ease and confidence. He hated how Harry glided through life, carrying happiness on his shoulders like it was nothing when it was arduous for Louis. His carefree demeanor made Louis feel crazy.

But that feeling just motivated him to always keep his eyes on the prize. Number one in the class rankings every year and the valedictorian spot the next year when they graduated. He was so close he could taste it. And if the only thing in his way was Harry Styles, then Louis was willing to up the stakes to figure out what made him weak just to beat him.

“Whatever,” Louis eventually said to Liam. “He’s a f*cking cliche.”

₊˚⊹♡

As dusk settled over the campus, Louis got comfortable at his desk with a cup of tea and some cookies to start on his homework. He had a few Math worksheets that were due tomorrow, practice questions for Chemistry, an article to read for his Business Fundamentals class, and if he had time, he also wanted to start his History paper on the Cold War. It was going to be a long night, but Louis was moving through his Math problems pretty quickly.

As he turned to the last page, his phone began to ring. He reached for it on his bed and clicked Accept when he saw it was his mom. It took a moment for FaceTime to connect, then she came into view. From the looks of it, she was still in her work clothes and sitting in her study, which meant she was likely eating her dinner there while Louis’ dad was out for work purposes.

“Hi, Mom,” he smiled amiably.

“Louis, dear,” she smiled back. “How are you?”

“I’m good. Just the usual,” Louis replied, leaning back in his chair. It was one of those expensive leather ergonomic ones. His dad had sent it over along with a few other pieces of furniture when Louis first started at the school. Every student on campus had their own room if they paid an extra fee. All rooms were the same size, but the added privacy was a bonus for anyone who didn’t want the distractions of a roommate. So, in place of where the other bed would go, Louis had a tufted black settee to match his chair. His room also had a mini fridge and extra storage boxes for his large supply of snacks in case he got hungry during all-nighters.

“Did you have dinner?” Lenora asked.

“I did, yeah. Not too long ago. I just sat down to get some homework done.”

Lenora smiled at him, a look of pride on her face. His parents always appreciated how much effort he put into school. And in turn, he liked how proud he made them. As the only child of a Congressman and one of the top lawyers on the East Coast, Louis knew there were a lot of expectations of him. He needed to excel and be just as successful, otherwise, people would talk. He never wanted to disappoint his parents or make them look bad. Not after they gave him such a good life and all of these opportunities.

“Well, don’t stay up too late,” Lenora said. “How’ve you been doing with the swim team? Still keeping up?”

“Yup. Still trying to beat my last record time.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to. Your dad was a natural swimmer when he went to Saint Augustine as well. You’ve got it in you, too.”

“Here’s hoping!”

“Well, I won’t keep you for too long. Your dad’s just off for a work meeting, so I was having some dinner alone. Thought I’d catch up with you.”

“I’m glad you called. How’s Dad doing? Is he in town?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “He’s alright. Taking care of himself, but still quite swept up in work. You know how he is.”

Louis nodded. He did get his competitive nature from his father, after all.

“Do you know when you’ll be coming home for a visit? Any weekends that are free?”

“I don’t know if I will be able to until after finals, Mom. It’s been really busy and I know the teachers will continue to load on the homework, tests, and projects now that we’re nearing the end of the year.”

“That’s fine,” she reassured him. “But you’re always welcome to come home and study anytime you want. We can send the driver so you won’t have to take the train. It’ll save you a bit of time.”

Beacon Hills, CT, the picturesque and upscale town where his family lived, wasn’t too far from campus. It was only about an hour and a half drive, but Louis still found himself shaking his head. He had good concentration and flow going. He didn’t want to mess it up by going back home for just two days. This dorm room was his sanctuary, more so than the one at home. The dark, mahogany paneled walls, the lowlight lamps, and the large window overlooking the prettiest side of campus with a view of the forest and the lake. He loved being here. He only had it for a little while more before he’d have to give it up for good.

Lenora clicked her tongue, accepting defeat. “Alright, then. I’ll let you go. I’ll call you tomorrow if I get the chance. If not, I’m sure Dad will text you to check in.”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

After saying goodbye, Louis hung up the phone and went over to his fridge to grab a cold water bottle. Downing a large gulp, he returned to his Math problems. He was just finishing the last one when someone knocked on his door. Groaning at the second interruption of the night, Louis quickly scribbled the answer he’d formulated on his sheet, placed it in his designated Math folder, and got up from his seat to see who was at the door.

Upon opening it, he was met with the sight of his boyfriend of six months, leaning against the doorframe with his football jersey still on.

“Sup, babe?” Theo said, leaning down to drop a kiss on his cheek.

His full name was Theodore Adam Harrington the Third, and he was Louis’ first serious boyfriend. Theo was a transfer student their sophom*ore year but he quickly grew a name for himself on campus. Like Louis, he was also a legacy student, but something went wrong when he first applied for his freshman year. He told Louis there was a mix-up with his application and someone else’s, but Louis’ dad told him that Theo’s grades were way below what Saint Augustine required when admitting students. Apparently, Theo’s dad had then pulled some major strings to get him in. Most likely a large bribe and donation. Theodore Adam Harrington the Second was a highly reputable architect in New York, where Theo’s family resided. They had a beautiful penthouse in the Upper East Side, which Louis had the pleasure of visiting during the Easter break. He soon learned that their bank account was just as extra as their long name.

“Hey,” Louis replied, moving aside so Theo could step through. “Did you come straight from practice?”

“Yeah,” Theo responded, lying back on Louis’ clean, made bed with a thump.

Louis wrinkled his nose and hoped Theo had the decency to shower before he traipsed over here. He tried to remember if they’d made plans to hang out tonight, but he was coming up empty. As far as he knew, his only plans tonight were with his school books.

Sitting back down on his desk chair, he reached for his Chemistry homework. “How was practice?”

“Same old. Styles was a f*cking beast out there. I hope he keeps that sh*t up for the game.”

Louis wrinkled his nose again. For reasons he didn’t understand, Theo and Harry were really good friends. They might even be best friends. Louis didn’t know. Theo knew to keep Harry out of their conversations, so he wasn’t sure why he was bringing him up now. And Louis liked to be mature. He didn’t want to tell his boyfriend who to hang out with, but sometimes, he couldn’t help but feel a little disgruntled about it.

The thing was, Louis and Theo were really different. Some days Louis wondered how they even got together. They didn’t run in the same circles, they had different priorities, and they tended to argue quite often since they had opposing views on things. They’d initially met at a bonfire out in the forest, a customary teenage rebellion effort by the students here to let loose during non-school hours. How they got away with it, Louis wasn’t sure, but they were fun and he liked going from time to time.

Theo had approached Louis with his perfect white smile, dirty blonde hair, and crystal blue eyes. He couldn’t remember what they talked about, but what he did remember was Theo bragging about being 6’ 2” and Louis barely held back an eye roll as he said, “Dude, nice try.” His can’t-be-bothered attitude seemed to do a number on Theo, who asked him out several times after that despite Louis turning him down until he finally relented after Theo’s fifth or sixth attempt.

Currently, Theo peered over at Louis with his best puppy dog eyes. “What are you up to?”

“Chem homework,” Louis replied as he opened his notebook to his latest notes. “Don’t you have homework too?”

“I’ll do it later. I came to hang out with you. Missed you today.”

Louis preened as he smiled at him. “You’re sweet. I missed you, too.”

“Come join me in the bed.”

Louis exhaled a short laugh. “I would, but I have so much sh*t to do. Raincheck on the cuddles?”

“Who rainchecks on cuddles?” Theo guffawed. “Baby, you work so hard. You deserve a break. Plus, we haven’t hung out in so long.”

“We hung out two days ago. We watched movies in your room and I stayed over. Remember?”

“Yeah, but that was two days ago.”

Laughing again, he shook his head. “I can’t afford to get distracted right now. I’ve got so much homework. I’m free tomorrow after swim practice, though. I’m all yours then.”

“Yeah, but I’m horny now, babe.”

Louis was reaching his limit at this point and he fought the urge to roll his eyes. Theo could be really sweet one minute, but also very persistent and hard-headed the next.

“Sounds like a personal problem, babe.”

Theo glared at him. “You know you can be such a bitch sometimes.”

“That’s really f*cking nice, Theo. Thanks a lot,” Louis gritted out sarcastically.

He groaned as he pressed his fists over his eyes. “Sorry, sorry. That was uncalled for. I just came over to hang out with you and ask if you want to go to dinner this Friday night.”

“Where?” Louis asked.

“At that new Italian place in Mayfair. I can ask for permission for the both of us to go.”

Typically, if students left campus to go into the town, they had to get not only parental permission but also permission from a faculty member. Once they turned 18, however, they were only required to get permission from faculty just so they were accounted for if anything were to happen. Louis wasn’t sure how Theo thought he could do that for him, but he was just going to ignore that for now.

“I can’t this Friday night. I have swim practice until late. Our next meet is in two weeks. What about Thursday night?”

“I have football practice that night, which I can’t miss. You can’t cut out of swim practice early?”

Louis narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. “Why is it that you can’t miss football, but you want me to cut out of swim practice early when I just told you that I have a meet in a couple of weeks?”

Theo sat up to face him properly. “Why are you picking a fight over everything right now?”

“It takes two to tango,” Louis scowled.

“No. You’re the one in a mood.”

“I’m not in a mood. I’m just busy. You, for whatever reason, can’t stand to be told no.”

“I’ll just leave then,” Theo said as he stood up.

“Not until you tell me why you thought I could skip out on swim practice early,” Louis said, his arms crossed over his chest.

“You know why. Everyone on this campus knows why.”

“Actually, darling, I don’t. I’ll need you to spell it out for me.”

“Football is, like, an actual sport that people care about,” Theo bit out, his face turning bright red.

“And swimming isn’t?” Louis arched a brow.

“Never said that. I’m only saying football is important.”

Taking a deep breath, Louis turned back to his books. “I think you’ve said enough. Please close the door on your way out.”

Theo stood there for a moment longer as Louis started working on his Chem equations, like he wanted to say something more. Eventually, he let out a long sigh. “Louis, c’mon.”

“Let’s just put a pin on it for tonight, Theo. I can’t talk to you when I’m this mad.”

He knew better than to poke Louis at this point, so he walked out and slammed the door shut behind him.

₊˚⊹♡

Intro to Business Fundamentals was one of the many elective courses Saint Augustine Academy offered, including a wide variety of coding, art, and writing courses. While they prepared students for college through the basic subjects, they also wanted to give them the chance to take classes that might help them decide what major they’d like to work toward when they graduated and went to university.

Louis, for the most part, was enjoying the class. It was one of the more interesting ones and he didn’t have to put too much effort into it. He could even look past the fact that Harry Styles sat in the seat in front of him. The teacher was a stickler for assigned seating and she did it based on an alphabetized system. Thankfully, Harry wasn’t too distracting, but his constant gum chewing was annoying. The smell of spearmint and grass constantly trickled in beneath Louis’ nose.

“Now, before class is over, I’d like to speak to you all about your term project,” Ms. Martin, the teacher began, as she stood in front of the blackboard. She was an elderly woman and had taught at this school for over thirty years, including Louis’ parents. “This project will count toward 60% of your final grade, as explained in your syllabus. It will be a collaboration, not a solo project because most businesses aren’t a one-man show. You will all be paired up and, together, you will pick a local business in Mayfair to visit, collect all necessary data, and put together a complete business plan on ways to improve it. I expect a written report, an expense spreadsheet, as well as a presentation for the class.”

She began placing stacks of papers on each desk up front, asking the students to pass them back as she continued to speak.

“You can find all the information you will need for the project on these sheets. I will also make sure you have written permission to go into Mayfair. It will have to be done during non-school hours and before curfew. Any questions so far?”

Niall Horan raised his hand. He was one of Harry’s best friends and a pretty alright guy aside from his poor taste in friends. “What if the business we choose doesn’t need any help? Are we able to talk about what makes it work?”

“There is always room for improvement,” Ms. Martin answered. “You are required to include what makes the business work, but I encourage you to really think outside the box about how they can do even better. Any other questions?”

No one else raised their hand. Louis took a sheet of paper from Harry and passed the rest back while reading the details of the project. All the while, Ms. Martin went over to her desk and began reading off the pairs who would be working together on the project. Louis’ mouth pinched together when he realized he may end up working with Harry because she was pairing people based on their last names. Well, it would either be Harry, or George Turner, who sat behind him. George was an alright guy. Not the brightest, but Louis would take that over f*cking Styles.

He waited with bated breath as Mrs. Martin got closer and closer to them. And then:

“Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis squeezed his eyes shut, resisting the urge to groan out loud. He couldn’t believe his f*cking luck. Harry turned around to grin at him, smarmy and co*cky. God, he couldn’t stand this guy. Louis leaned back in his chair and counted the minutes until the class bell rang. Springing up from his seat, he marched over to Ms. Martin’s desk, a saccharine smile on his face.

“Hi, Ms. Martin. Great lecture today.”

“Thank you, Mr. Tomlinson,” she said, straight-laced. “What can I do for you?”

“I was just wondering if I could possibly, maybe, swap partners with Carla Vaughn. She’s working with George Turner.”

Ms. Martin immediately shook her head. “I assigned partners, Mr. Tomlinson. If I allowed you to switch, then I’d have to allow everyone else. That wouldn’t be fair and it would defeat the purpose of assigning partners in the first place.”

“But, see, the thing is...I don’t think I can work with Harry.”

“And why not?” she asked, peering up at him from over her cat-eye-shaped glasses.

“We just have a lot of differences...”

“Differences?” she sighed. “Mr. Tomlinson. I understand you want to work with your friend —”

“George and I aren’t friends,” Louis cut in. “I just can’t work with Harry.”

“You must,” she said, her tone final. “Please head to your next class now. This discussion is over. I’m sorry.”

Louis blew out a frustrated breath as he returned to his desk. To his surprise, Harry was still there. He watched Louis as he returned to his desk and began packing his stuff into his book bag.

“What was that about?” Harry asked him.

“None of your business,” Louis bit back.

Harry chuckled with an amused expression. “Alright, well. We should meet up to work on this thing, right?”

This thing. He said it so indifferently as if this thing wasn’t going to make up 60% of their final grade. God, Harry was so f*cking irritating and obtuse. Louis closed his book bag and slung it over his shoulders.

“I’ll decide which business we’ll be going to and then I’ll reach out to you to coordinate a time for us to go and visit.”

Harry’s brows rose in surprise. “We’re supposed to work on this project together...”

“And?” Louis tilted his head to the side.

Harry narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re really going to be like that?”

“I don’t have the time to sit with you and discuss which business we’ll go to. Is there one you’re very attached to that you’d like me to consider?”

“Not particularly. I just thought we’d research and find one together.”

“I can research on my own and let you know. I want as little time as possible with you.”

Harry’s green eyes were already looking bored with the conversation as they drifted over to the door. Louis’ eyes flickered over there and he saw Rowan waiting for the football player, her glossy lips shining pink as she wiggled her fingers in a wave toward them.

“‘K, well. Let me know then,” Harry said, his tone dismissive and condescending. “Considering how anal you can be about everything, I’m sure I’ll want as little time with you as possible as well.”

He grabbed his bag and headed out, arm slinging over Rowan’s shoulders while she giggled at him.

₊˚⊹♡

Louis focused on regulating his breathing as he finished the last few strokes and reached the end of the pool. He gripped on the hard, tiled ledge and hauled himself up into a sitting position. Taking off his goggles, he steadied his breath and watched as the rest of his teammates finished as well. Coach Phil blew his whistle and approached them.

“The good news is, all of you have stayed consistent with your time,” he said, eyes raking over his clipboard. “But remember the goal here, boys. You want to break your record.”

Louis breathed out roughly, aggravated that he didn’t beat his time once again. They’d been at this for an hour and the exhaustion was seeping in, but all he wanted to do was keep going. Keep pushing.

“We’ll adjourn for today, but we’ll jump back into it on Monday.”

The team was dismissed and Louis waited for most of his teammates to head to the locker room before getting up and walking over to Coach Phil, who was heading toward his office.

“Hey, Coach,” he called out. “Do you have a second?”

Coach Phil slowed his steps. “What can I do for you, son?”

“I just — I’m just feeling really dejected about the time results today. You know I really want to beat my record.”

“I know. You’re almost there. You’ve reached a great time for someone who has only been swimming a couple of years, Louis.”

“I know, but I want to beat the school record as well.”

Coach Phil chuckled. “Paul Sanchez holds the school record. Class of 1995.”

“50.1 seconds in the 100-yard backstroke. I know,” Louis nodded. “I want to beat it.”

“We can work toward it,” Coach told him. “It’ll take a lot, though. Is there anything I can do to help you get there?”

“That’s kind of what I was hoping to talk to you about... Do you have any tips or suggestions for me?”

“Your form was a bit off today. Everything alright?”

“Um, yeah,” he said self-consciously. “I think I’m just a bit tired. This week has been really busy.”

“That’s normal. Don’t worry about it. I think just keep working on your form, your threshold, and practice. Practice is always your best bet. If you want, you can come here after all the team practices are done for the day. Just ask me beforehand and I will provide you with a key to the pool.”

Louis nodded. “Yeah, that’d be amazing. I could probably use it this weekend.”

“Email me, alright? We’ll pick a time.”

He nodded again and stepped aside so Coach could go into his office. Once alone, Louis sighed deeply and wondered when he’d be able to fit in additional swim practices this weekend. He’d already filled in most of his free time with studying. His Chemistry class had a big exam coming up and Louis was freaking out about it. This teacher was notorious for failing students and Louis could not fail. That was out of the question. But then when would he get to swim? He could potentially just sleep an hour or so less these coming weeks. Usually, all-nighters were saved for midterms or finals week, but otherwise, Louis liked getting a decent six hours in.

But if he wanted to be the best, he’d just have to work toward it harder, even if that meant losing some sleep.

₊˚⊹♡

After Theo hand-delivered a box of chocolates and roses to his dorm, Louis decided to forgive him for their little squabble the other night. He had much bigger things to worry about, like his studies and swimming, and he didn’t want to include his boyfriend on that list. Besides, Theo and Louis often argued and butted heads over things, but Theo was really good at apologizing. One time, he even flew Louis to France for the weekend. It was his first time going and the whole thing was way more romantic than Louis was used to.

At times, he was inclined to admit that so much of their relationship, at least for Louis, was based on the comfort and the image of it. Theo checked off a lot of boxes. He had ambitions, he was good-looking, and he was polite to his parents. He fit Louis’ life and the future he envisioned for himself.

All in all, despite their differences and petty arguments, Louis liked spending time with him. It was Louis who offered to have dinner together in the dining hall as a way to make up for the dinner Theo wanted to do in Mayfair. They were rescheduling that for the week after, when they were both free.

“I think you’re going to love it,” Theo told Louis as they sat down at an empty, round table.

Louis placed his tray on the table, filled with mashed potatoes, roasted veggies, and two pieces of grilled chicken. “I’m excited to go. We can even catch a movie if we have time.” He paused as he picked up his utensils. “I’m actually going into Mayfair this weekend.”

“You are?” Theo asked around a large bite of his cheeseburger. “What for?”

“I have a project due for my Business class. We have to visit a local business and collect data, and then we have to put together a plan on ways they can improve.”

“That sounds fun, I guess. You said we? Is it a group project?”

“Unfortunately,” Louis said as he added gravy to his mashed potatoes. “My partner is Harry Styles.”

“My boy!” Theo cheered, pounding his fist down on the table in excitement.

Louis eyed him warily. “Your boy is going to be the worst partner.”

“No way! He’s so smart, Lou. Even you know that.”

“He’s condescending and co*cky.”

“Did I tell you I met his dad at the last away game?”

Louis shook his head. “You didn’t.”

He didn’t care to hear about Harry’s dad, but Theo barreled on, strangely oblivious and purposefully ignorant to Louis’ dislike of Harry. “He’s a f*cking legend, Jack Styles. He’s so f*cking cool. He gave us insane tips and secrets to keep playing better. Harry’s so lucky to have him as a dad. I’d be asking him for advice all the time. I mean, he’s scored over 500 touchdowns in his career. Can you imagine?”

“No way,” Louis replied, his tone vapid as he dug into his chicken. “That sounds like a lot.”

“It is,” Theo replied eagerly. “I can totally see Harry getting to that level. He’s got it in him. You just underestimate him.”

“No, I don’t,” Louis responded drily. “I don’t think about him at all.”

He knew that was a lie, but he wasn’t going to admit to that.

Theo just laughed. “Just this year alone, Harry has managed to score nearly 50 touchdowns.”

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” Louis asked, pinning Theo with a look. “You know how I feel about him, Theo. I hate him and he hates me. It sucks that I have to work with him.”

“I mean, with that attitude, yeah, it will suck. Just chill out and don’t get into it with him too much. You know he’s my boy.”

“You keep saying,” Louis sighed. “Anyway, can we talk about something else? Tell me about your sister’s dance recital. Your mom FaceTimed you the whole time, right?”

As Theo launched into a story about his family, Louis thought about how he’d have to spend time with Harry this weekend. An extended period of time — just the two of them. He’d be chill at first, like Theo suggested, but if Harry spoke anything out of line, all bets were off.

₊˚⊹♡

Mayfair was a cute little town with shops lined up along cobble-stoned streets. There were no residential houses there as Saint Augustine took up a large portion of the land. Those who visited the town lived or stayed in the surrounding towns, like Bridgeport and Roseville. Most of them were locals, but a good chunk were people on vacation, eager to soak in the small-town New England life. Louis always enjoyed getting to step out of their school and visiting. It was a nice refreshing change from the same walls and fields he saw on a daily basis.

This trip wasn’t as pleasant seeing as how he was stuck with Harry Styles, but he’d made that promise to himself that he’d try to be civil. For the sake of his grade, at least.

It seemed Harry was doing the same. He had his hands tucked into his black jeans and on top, he wore an oversized cream-colored sweater. Louis dressed down for the trip as well, opting for a pair of blue jeans and a black Ralph Lauren sweater with the brand bear in the center. Though it was almost summer, the breeze was nippy today.

They walked in silence as they exited the school grounds and past the large, black, wrought iron gate. What was interesting to Louis was how Harry hadn’t badgered him once about which local business Louis had picked. He just followed him, whistling lowly to himself. When they made it to the main part of town, Louis double-checked the address of the business and then determinedly walked up to the storefront.

Harry’s eyes widened in surprise. “A bakery?”

“Yes,” Louis replied primly.

“Any reason why?”

“Well, between us, I researched and found that they haven’t been doing too well. The owners are an elderly couple and their teenage granddaughter has been trying to help them by spreading the word at her school and on Instagram, but the engagement hasn’t been too great. Which is bizarre, if you ask me, because they’ve got this insane cream puff pastry that is to die for.”

“Ah,” Harry grinned. “That’s smart. It’ll give us more to work with.”

“Exactly,” Louis smiled proudly.

“You also want a piece of that cream puff pastry, don’t you?”

He shrugged, still smiling. “Maybe.”

Harry smiled, his cheeks dimpling, and Louis studied the way his green eyes were so clear and expressive, giving away his every emotion. Like right now, they looked amused and a bit delighted. Which... Louis wasn’t really used to Harry looking at him like that. Their exchanges were usually fraught with animosity, snide remarks, and callousness. He offered Harry a small, polite smile back before entering Mayfair Bakery.

Inside, the smell of sugar, cinnamon, and coffee beans welcomed them. The decor was cute and simple with bright colored walls, a few small tables scattered around the open area, and the counter and display up against the back wall. An elderly woman stood at the counter, speaking with a customer and recommending different pastries she could try. Louis got in line with Harry, the two of them chatting quietly about how good some of the cakes looked. When the customer left, they approached the woman, who smiled at them kindly.

“Welcome to Mayfair Bakery. How may I help you?”

“Hi,” Louis smiled back. “My name is Louis, and this is Harry. We’re students at Saint Augustine Academy and we’re here for a project we were assigned for our Business class.”

“Oh, how interesting,” she said. “My name is Barbara. It’s nice to meet you two.”

“You as well,” Harry replied, offering her one of his charming smiles. “Our project consists of visiting a local business here in Mayfair and collecting some data. We have to then come up with a presentation on ways to help the business to be more successful than it already is.”

Louis’ eyes flickered over to Harry in surprise. That was a really good way to put it. They didn’t want Barbara to think their business was tanking. He’d have to give it to Styles for his quick thinking on that one.

“That sounds really lovely,” Barbara nodded. “I’d love to help you. What do you need?”

For the next hour, they sat with Barbara at one of the tables while her husband, Gary, who she introduced them to, manned the register and took orders from customers. There wasn’t a rush of them, but a slow trickle every few minutes, which Louis noted in his notes. Barbara was very open about everything they asked her from finances to marketing strategies. She even brought them the cream puff pastries Louis loved and a cup of tea each. Once they finished speaking with her, they said goodbye and walked out with stomachs full of sugar and a stack of notes to work with.

“She was so nice,” Harry commented as they headed back toward campus. “I’m going to be coming here more often, I think.”

“Going to bring all of your dates here?” Louis asked, a hint of teasing in his tone.

“Maybe,” Harry shrugged. “It is a nice date spot, I suppose. What about you? Does Theo bring you around here for dates?”

“No,” Louis replied. “Though, I’m shocked you don’t know that considering he’s your boy, or whatever.”

“Theo’s good people,” Harry grinned.

“He considers you one of his closest friends.”

“And he’s one of mine,” Harry told him earnestly. “He brings a good energy to the football team.” As they passed an ice cream shop, Harry slowed his steps, head tilting toward the door. “Want to grab something?”

Louis hesitated before shaking his head. “I shouldn’t. I’m going to crash from this sugar rush and I need to be up late.”

Harry nodded, continuing to walk again. “Why do you have to stay up late?”

“I’ve got a big Chem exam and it’s stressing me out. I don’t feel I know everything to the best of my ability yet, so. I’ll be up.”

“With Mr. Rosenberg?”

“The one and only.”

“I took that test already. I can give you some of my notes and highlight the stuff that was on the exam.”

Louis eyed Harry warily. “You’d do that?”

Harry nodded, an amused laugh escaping his lips. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well...,” Louis trailed off, his shoulders lifting in a shrug. “I don’t know. Because we don’t like each other. Like at all.”

Harry put his hands up in the air in surrender. “Hey, I never said I didn’t like you. I actually really admire you.”

“Bullsh*t,” Louis shook his head with a snort. “You don’t.”

“I do!” Harry insisted. “I mean, look at us. We totally finessed the first part of the project and we didn’t argue once.”

“That is true. Look, I know I wasn’t the nicest when we first got assigned to work together —”

“You think?”

“— but I will put aside my differences for the sake of our grade.”

Harry hummed as they approached the school gates. “You take your grades really seriously, I know, but don’t you think that’s kind of useless? I mean what will these grades mean at the end of the day? Years from now when you’re applying for a job, will they ask you what you got on your Chemistry exam? No.”

“That’s not the point,” Louis refuted. “Good grades now mean a good opportunity for university. Doing well in university means getting a good job. Though, I guess for your career, the grades might not mean as much.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, brows furrowed as their steps slowed until they were facing each other.

“I mean, you’re going to go pro with football, right? That’s the plan?”

Harry slowly nodded, almost like he wasn’t sure. Louis frowned in confusion, but before he could ask, Harry swiftly changed the topic.

“So Rosenberg’s notes.”

“Right,” Louis said. “Did you get your test back?”

“I got a 99.”

Louis’ mouth dropped open. Of f*cking course he did. Rosenberg may be notorious for giving the hardest exams and failing students, but leave it to Harry to get a 99%. His shock must have been written all over his face because Harry giggled.

“Don’t look so surprised now.”

“I’m just trying to figure out how you do it because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sit down and crack a textbook open,” Louis said, sighing deeply.

“I just pay attention during class. You want the notes or not?”

Narrowing his eyes, Louis asked, “You’re not going to sabotage me, are you?”

“Sabotage you? With Chem notes? Louis. My man. C’mon.”

“Fine. I’ll take your notes,” Louis relented. “I will definitely need all the help I can get.”

Harry smiled as they continued toward their school. “I’ve got you.”

₊˚⊹♡

There were several courtyards spread out around Saint Augustine. Louis’ personal favorite was right by the greenhouse. The smell of flowers was constantly wafting over and it was the most quiet. He sat there now with Liam, both with their heads buried in their books as they studied and completed homework assignments. Their belongings were spread out over the marble-stoned tables along with their cups of coffee. It was late afternoon and Louis was enjoying that it was getting dark out later and later in the day, which meant more time outside.

“Did I tell you Clara is going to come to stay at my house over the summer?” Liam asked, not looking up from his History textbook.

“You didn’t. That’s a pretty huge deal,” Louis remarked.

Clara Whitmore was Liam’s girlfriend. They’d been going steady for over a year now and she often hung out with the two of them.

Liam blew out a long breath. “I know. I’m kind of nervous if I’m honest. I’ve never had a girlfriend come and sleep over.”

“Are your parents cool about stuff like that?”

“Don’t know. They said yes to her sleeping over, but I’m not sure what we’ll be allowed to do. Like will they allow her to sleep in my room? I don’t know.”

“Do you even want to sleep in the same room as your girlfriend while your parents are right next door?”

Liam laughed exasperatedly. “No, I guess not.”

“Don’t overthink it. Clara’s super cool and I’m glad you guys are taking this step.”

“How was it when you stayed with Theo at his place during Easter break?” Liam asked.

“It was pretty nice. I’d been to New York plenty of times before then so I had a good sense of the city. Theo’s family were also nice. I liked hanging out with his older sister and brother. They took us around to a few places.”

“Did you get up to any funny business while you were there?” There was a quirky tilt to Liam’s brows.

Louis tilted his head to the side and tossed his pencil at Liam with a deadpan look. “No, we did not, you weirdo.”

A group of people began walking in their direction, raucous laughter drifting over to them. Louis glanced up curiously and, well, speak of the devil. Theo led his pack of football cronies, all wearing their jerseys and being every bit as loud as he expected them to be. Amongst them, of course, was Harry, the ever-present confident smirk on his face. He was toward the front, not laughing with the rest of them. Looking away, Louis hoped Theo didn’t notice Louis here because he would definitely interrupt. But they were too out in the open and soon enough, he heard his boyfriend’s familiar, playful drawl.

“Louis! Babe!”

Looking up again, Louis offered him a small smile as they all walked over. A few of the football players settled down at some of the empty tables while Theo, Harry, and a couple of other guys stopped in front of Louis and Liam. Theo dropped down on the space next to him and before Louis could process it, their lips were pressed together in a firm, loud kiss. He blinked blearily as they drew apart and his eyes drifted over to Harry, who was watching them curiously.

“What’s up, Liam?” Theo greeted Louis’ friend. “What are you two up to?”

“Same old,” Louis shrugged, answering for the both of them. “What about you guys?”

“We just got out of practice,” Theo answered. “It was epic. We’re going to crush the game this weekend.”

“This one will be here, right?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, it’s a home game. My parents are coming, too. They want to see you, so if you have some time...”

“Of course,” Louis nodded. “I’d love to see them.”

“Are you not coming to the game?” asked Harry, his voice raspy, like he hadn’t spoken in a while.

Louis rubbed his lips together. “I’m not sure.”

At that, Theo let out a chuckle. “Louis here is not a fan of football.”

“No way,” one of the guys next to Harry said, his voice loud and deep. His name might be Jason, but Louis couldn’t recall for the life of him. “Your boyfriend is literally a football player.”

“He thinks he’s above it,” Theo went on, his voice laced with a cruel tone. “Despite being an American and all.”

Louis glared at him. He’d been to many football games just for Theo, so this was super f*cking rich coming from him. And liking football didn’t define being a true American, or whatever the hell he was getting at. This wasn’t even really about that. This was about his ego and Louis not prioritizing him ahead of other things in his life. A retort was at the tip of his tongue, but he tried biting it back because he didn’t want to start arguing in front of everyone.

For some reason, his eyes met Harry’s again and they both held on to the gaze. Harry looked disappointed and a little upset, but Louis couldn’t make sense as to why. If anything, Louis expected him to be happy. There was this one time when Harry had laughed when Louis was chewing his boyfriend out for hitting on one of Louis’ friends, Natalie, at a party. Louis assumed Harry enjoyed it when they fought, but right now, he wasn’t so sure.

“You should come.”

It took Louis a second to realize Harry was speaking to him. He blinked. “What?”

“You should come to the game,” Harry repeated, his gaze pinned on Louis. “It’ll be fun. The first touchdown will be yours, if you do.”

Theo looked between them in surprise, as did Liam.

“I’ll see,” Louis said.

After a bit more chit-chat, the boys left Louis and Liam on their own again, but Harry’s words still knocked back and forth in Louis’ head. He wondered what it was Harry was trying to do.

₊˚⊹♡

A few days later, Louis waited in the school library for Harry so that they could work on the rest of their project. He already had a list of ideas he wanted to include. Hopefully, Harry had some input as well because he seemed eager about the project. So far, at least. A quick glance at the large clock atop the wall told Louis that Harry was almost twenty minutes late for their meeting, which was quite rude. This proved he didn’t have respect for Louis and his time. If he did, he would have come on time, like Louis did. He better have a good excuse for his delay.

While waiting, Louis busied himself with formatting the Word doc he had pulled up on the computer and also opened PowerPoint and Excel so that everything was ready to go. Once that was done, his eyes wandered around the vast library. It was at least five stories high with mahogany-colored shelves and walls giving it a cozy, warm vibe. There were tables on every floor for students to work at, large enough so that they could spread out all of their books, and the librarian was a sweet elderly man named Frank. Louis and he often spoke when he stayed late for a study session.

Finally, Louis heard the library doors open and Harry walked through. He noted the way Harry was slow in his movements, as though he had all the time in the world. Frowning, Louis sat up properly in his seat. Harry slumped down beside him at the table, his forest green uniform tie askew. His black blazer was also unbuttoned and his white shirt underneath was untucked. He looked kind of a mess.

“Hey,” Louis said.

Harry mumbled something that was incoherent. Louis took a deep breath as he tilted the computer screen toward Harry.

“I’ve got everything pulled up already, so we can begin,” Louis said, deciding to ignore Harry’s less-than-friendly attitude. “I wrote down some basic concepts on things that I think the bakery can do in order to increase revenue, traffic, and followers on their social media.”

He opened up to a separate document where he listed out all of his ideas. Harry leaned closer to skim over them.

“It’s pretty basic stuff, like starting a customer loyalty program. It’d be nice if they had those punch cards where, after buying a certain number of sweets or drinks, customers get a free one. I also think they’d blow up on TikTok, so I included that, too.”

Harry rubbed his lips together. “I’ve got some ideas, too.”

“What are they?”

“An open mic night to bring some entertainment, which will lead to more business. They should also have monthly sales — buy one cream puff pastry and get the other one half off. Maybe the 10th of every month.”

“Those are good,” Louis nodded as he typed them below his ideas.

For a while, they worked quietly, getting the written report portion of it done, but Harry’s whole demeanor was a little off. Louis wasn’t sure what was up, but he didn’t ask because he frankly didn’t want to get into it. Frank thought highly of Louis and once Louis got started on Harry, he feared he wouldn’t stop.

It was all going smoothly until they got to the expense report part of the project. Harry had control of the computer and they kept getting an error on their Excel spreadsheet for the formula they inputted.

Louis leaned closer. “I think you’re doing that wrong, actually.”

“I think I didn’t ask,” Harry sassed.

Arching a brow, Louis leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, watching Harry struggle with the spreadsheet. Of course, the second he gave it up and Louis took control, they got it right. He tried to hide his gloating smile, but he failed. Harry was pouting at this point. When they got to the presentation portion, Harry started typing up the information they’d collected when they spoke with Barbara, listing out everything they were currently doing to grow their business.

“We should also include the stats for their social media. That’s important,” Louis said. “Maybe make a little section in the bottom left for that.”

“Shouldn’t that be in the slide about the TikTok proposition?”

“You don’t think it should be here where all of their existing plans and information are?”

“Social media should be its own section.”

“I don’t know...”

“Well, I’m going to put it in a separate slide. It’s important information and needs to be highlighted separately.”

Louis seethed. “I know it’s important information. That’s why I said to include it.”

“If I cared about what you said, Louis, I would listen to you. But I think you’re wrong about how to organize this presentation.”

Gaping at him, Louis huffed but decided to keep his mouth shut. He watched as Harry continued to fill in the slides. His phone buzzed in his blazer pocket and he fished it out. It was his alarm reminder that he needed to get started on his English paper. But they weren’t even halfway done with the slides. If Louis had control of the computer, this would have been done ages ago and correctly, too. Harry was messing everything up on purpose, Louis was sure of it.

“Can you speed it up a bit? I’ve got to go soon,” Louis informed him.

“I’m not going to rush through our project.”

“I don’t mean rush through it. I just mean stop messing up so much and we’ll be done sooner.”

“Where did I mess up?” Harry asked, leaning back to fix him with a scathing glare.

“Um, you messed up during the expense spreadsheet, and that put us back at least thirty minutes. And now you’re being so disorganized about the presentation. We haven’t even gotten to the part where we go over our talking points for the presentation.”

Harry half growled, half groaned. “Do you ever f*cking stop complaining?”

“Maybe if you stopped being an obtuse f*cking idiot for two seconds, I wouldn’t need to complain. Ever thought of that? Like what is the matter with you?”

“Me?” Harry asked shrilly.

“Yes, you. Why are you being so difficult?”

“You’re the one who called me an obtuse f*cking idiot, Louis.”

“You started it!”

“Real mature.”

“Cut the bullsh*t. You were fine with me just a few days ago. What changed?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harry said, facing the computer again, but not making any moves to continue typing.

“Stop wasting my time and either tell me what your f*cking problem is or get back to the presentation. I have other sh*t to do, Styles. I don’t just f*ck around all day like you do.”

Harry sneered. “You’re asking me what my problem is with you when you’re literally demonstrating it right now. You’re awful, Tomlinson.”

“You’re not a f*cking walk in the park, either. You’ve been difficult since the moment you walked in here — twenty minutes late, mind you.”

“At least I showed up. When you asked me to come here, I showed up. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

Louis stared at him agape. “What in the world are you even talking about?”

“The game, Louis,” Harry snapped. “I asked you to come to the game. I looked around in the crowd for you and you weren’t there.”

His lips parted and he stared at Harry at a loss for words. This was about him not going to the game? He didn’t think twice about not attending. It was packed with people and he knew Theo wouldn’t miss him if he skipped out on it. Louis had practiced swimming a bit more on his own and then watched a movie with Liam in the common area at their dorm. Not once did Harry cross his mind because he didn’t think Harry cared if Louis showed up or not.

“You’re upset about that?”

“I’m not upset,” Harry said, his voice cold and steely. “I guess I should have expected that from you. It sucked because I thought we were turning a new leaf and me asking you to come meant something to me. But you’re just always going to be the same, aren’t you, Louis? A complete dick just because you’re threatened by me.”

“Threatened by you? As if.”

Harry stood up from his seat. “You know what? I’m going to do the rest of the presentation on my own time. I can’t stand to be here with you for another second.”

“The feeling’s mutual, Styles.”

“I’ll send it to you once I’m done so you can add in your parts. We’ll figure out the talking points in class.”

“Fine by me.”

For a second, something flashed across Harry’s eyes. Regret? Hurt? Louis couldn’t catch it fast enough, but he didn’t care. Harry could have just told him calmly how he felt about Louis missing the game. If it meant that much, Louis would have made more of an effort to go next time, but Harry chose to come in hot and violent. He chose to pick a fight and it all went back to these football players and their stupid f*cking ego. They don’t get their way one time and suddenly they’re the victim.

As Louis watched Harry storm out of the library with his belongings, he knew for a fact that he’d always loathe him.

Chapter 2: 2 | HARRY

Chapter Text

With less than two weeks left until final exams, Harry was taking a much-needed breather on a quiet bench outside of his dormitory. The early June heat was a bit uncomfortable, but he was too lost in his second re-read of The Great Gatsby to care. Their English final was going to be made up of three essays and Mr. Collins told them that they’d need to brush up on all the reading material from the semester if they wanted to do well. Usually, once Harry read a book, he didn’t re-read it. He was good at remembering most of the text and what happened in the story, but he’d decided to dive into this book one more time. Read it from a different lens. It was a short one, so he was gunning to finish it before he met up with his best friends, Niall and Zayn, for dinner.

He was in the last chapter when he felt his phone ringing from inside of his pocket. Reaching for it, he barely lifted his eyes from the page until he noticed who was calling. Harry sighed, steeling himself for the conversation that was about to take place. He kept his spot in the book with his finger tucked in between the pages and accepted the call.

“Hey, Dad,” he greeted.

“What’s going on, bud?” Jack said. “Am I catching you at a good time?”

“Yeah,” Harry replied. “I’m just reading for a class. How’s it going?”

“Good, good,” Jack said, his tone calm, cool, and collected as always. “Cherry and I are currently at the lake house in Tuscany. Thought I’d give you a call and check in. See how you’re doing after the big game.”

Cherry was Jack’s fifth wife. She was a young thing with over 500,000 followers on Instagram and TikTok. They’d met through connections and within four months of dating, Jack had proposed. Prior to that, Jack was with a model for a few years. And before the model, there were many, many other women. You weren’t a football legend without having your legion of fangirls who would do anything for even five seconds of your time. Jack managed to stay fit, too. He had a strict workout regime and a healthy diet that had him looking buff and young. With girls online calling him “daddy” and “silver fox”, Jack just ate it up and leaned into it.

“I’ve been mostly taking it easy now that football season is over. I have final exams coming up, too, so all in all, I’m doing good, I suppose.”

“Rest is definitely important,” Jack said. “You need to let your body shut off for a bit before jumping back in, but you also don’t want to get too comfortable, you know?”

“Yeah,” Harry replied quietly, scratching the back of his head as he leaned back on the bench.

“You still got the workout I sent you?” he asked.

“The one that’s two hours long by that trainer on YouTube?”

“Yeah,” Jack confirmed. “Pick that up starting tomorrow. Your body is in your control and you’ve got to train it. Keep it strong, healthy, and improving. Trust me, this will help you in the long run. You won’t feel so run down next year when you start back up again with football. I’ve got some programs lined up for you this summer, too. Football camp, too.”

Harry felt exhaustion sweep through his body at just the thought. The corners of his mouth twisted into a grimace and he stared down at the grass beneath him. The programs his dad enlisted him in every break were grueling. Sure, his body felt strong after, but it was a lot of work, and Harry didn’t want to do it. He couldn’t think of a worse way to spend his summer. It wasn’t fair that this was the plan for him while his dad was off vacationing with his wife in Italy. He deserved a proper break, too. Despite that, he knew arguing with Jack wouldn’t be fruitful. He held a power over Harry that he’d never been able to go against.

“That sounds good, Dad,” he replied weakly. “I’ll also start doing the workout you sent me. The gym’s been closed since the sports teams are adjourned for the year, but I’ll speak to Coach Thomas.”

“That’s my boy,” Jack said. “Look, I’m really f*cking proud of you. You’ve got real f*cking talent, kid. I know you won’t let me down. We’re doing this thing. All the way through.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, his words sounding hollow in his ears. “We’ve got this.”

Jack chuckled. “Alright, I’ll let you get back to it. Cherry’s dying to get into the lake. You know how she is.”

“Um, yeah,” Harry mumbled. “I’ll talk to you later.”

He ended the call and slumped back in his seat. He actually didn’t know what Cherry was like. They barely spoke. Harry wasn’t around at home enough for that to happen. That was how it was with most of Jack’s wives. His first wife was Harry’s mom. She only stayed with Jack for a year after Harry was born before leaving him, and in turn, Harry, too. He’d found her a couple of years ago through some online stalking, but she didn’t seem interested in having a relationship with him, so Harry just dropped it.

When it came to parental figures in Harry’s life, all he’d ever known was the tough love his dad gave him and the promise of a great future if he just stuck to the plan. A plan he never even got much of a choice in. There were times when he really wanted to fight it, but it was hard going up against the great Jack Styles. He had a way of compelling you to do whatever he wanted, and Harry was proof of that. He’d spent his entire life following in his father’s footsteps from his football career to the way he jumped from relationship to relationship.

Harry had broken up with Rowan Alistair yesterday. There wasn’t any reasoning behind it other than the school year was ending and he had no plans to try and keep that going for the summer. He also just lost interest. They had fun and Rowan basked in being with a Styles. Everyone got what they wanted, but it was time to end it. She didn’t seem happy, but Harry barely stuck around to prevent the conversation from going any longer than it needed to.

Sighing, he picked up his worn copy of The Great Gatsby and opened up to where he’d left off. As he was getting ready to start reading again, he heard voices coming from up ahead. They were quiet except for some occasional laughter. He leaned forward to take a closer look and saw that it was Louis and Theo. They were walking toward the other dormitory — the one Louis lived in if Harry wasn’t mistaken — while holding hands. Neither of the boys had noticed Harry, so he took the liberty of studying them openly because he rarely saw them getting along or being affectionate. Whenever Harry did see them, they were either bickering or Theo was doing something to piss Louis off.

If Harry was honest, he didn’t understand them as a couple. Sure, they looked insanely hot together, but they were just so different. It always rubbed him the wrong way and he couldn’t pinpoint why. Whatever it may be, Harry didn’t care enough to dig deep and figure it out. He did his best, usually, to stay away from Louis because he was the most frustrating person Harry had ever had the displeasure of meeting. He constantly walked around campus like he was better than everyone else just because his dad was a Congressman. It was no wonder his only friend was that Liam guy. Louis had a permanent chip on his shoulder and he needed to touch grass to humble himself.

Since their argument at the library, they’d steered clear of each other except for when it came time to present their project in their Business class. They’d done well, but neither of them had said a single word to each other. Which was just fine. Harry didn’t want anything to do with Louis, anyway.

₊˚⊹♡

Walking through the large oak doors of the campus library, Harry was hit with the smell of old books and the sound of hushed conversations, typing on keyboards, and pages turning. Everyone was in full concentration mode for finals week, hunkering down over their textbooks and notes before they had to face one last hurdle before reaching sweet freedom — summer break. Harry, as always, wasn’t too worried. He never tried to do well, though, his grades would beg to differ. He did well in school because he genuinely enjoyed his classes and liked the challenge of the exams. Without the pressure, he made for a great test taker. His dad never really cared what his grades were as long as he passed. Football players were required to get at least a C if they wanted to continue playing, which Jack knew Harry was capable of.

Harry had been attempting to write his final paper for his World History class but was getting bored sitting in his dorm room all night. He figured coming to the library might wake him up a bit and help him be more productive. The atmosphere in here already felt much better than in his quiet room. He walked through the different floors, looking for an empty table to work at. Almost every study space was occupied and it wasn’t until he got to the fourth floor that he finally found some empty tables. It was also where Louis Tomlinson was sitting, head bent over his Chemistry textbook while chewing on the end of his pencil.

Now, Harry could easily take any of the three open tables, away from the boy that drove him absolutely crazy. But Harry was bored and he found himself walking over to Louis’ table anyway. The way these spaces were set up, at least four people could sit at each table. However, Louis had so many books spread out that no one else had even bothered to sit with him. Currently, there were four other people here and they were scattered around, but paired up with at least one other person. Louis, on the other hand, was alone, and Harry thought what better way to liven up his boring night than riling up his arch-nemesis.

He smiled, all friendly and unassuming, as he took a seat across from Louis. Glancing up, Louis gave him an unimpressed look. He cleared his throat and raised a brow in question.

“Oh, is this seat taken?” Harry asked, even though he’d already settled down and taken his laptop out of his bag.

Louis just grumbled something under his breath and continued with the Chem equations he was working on. Harry grinned to himself as he started his laptop and picked up where he’d left off with his paper. He only got a few sentences in when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, Harry smiled when he saw it was Paulie from the football team and Jocelyn from the cheerleading team. They were a couple and good friends with Harry.

“Hey, guys,” Harry said. “What brings you two here?”

“Studying like everyone else,” Jocelyn replied, twirling a strand of her blond hair around her perfectly manicured finger. “I’m mad at you, by the way.”

“Mad at me? Why? What’d I do?” Harry grinned, his tone playful.

“Broke my girl, Rowan’s, heart!” she cried. At the shrill sound of her voice, Louis lifted his head up, his glare deathly as he looked at all of them. Harry tried suppressing his laughter since he didn’t want Jocelyn or Paulie to think he was being insensitive about Rowan.

Giving them both a meek smile, he said, “I don’t think the two of us are really as compatible as we thought. She told me she was alright, though, regarding the breakup.”

“Of course, she’s going to say that to you. She’s been a mess, though,” Jocelyn said, crossing her arms over her chest and jutting her hip out.

“Can you let him be, Jos?” Paulie cut in. “Would you rather he stay with Rowan when he doesn’t feel the same way about her?”

“Well, no,” she replied. “That wouldn’t be cool.”

“Exactly. So, just, leave him alone.”

Paulie offered Harry an apologetic smile. “All good,” Harry replied. “Are you guys done studying or did you just get here?”

“We’re done,” Paulie answered. “We’ve been at it for a few hours.”

“When did you get here?” Jocelyn asked him.

“Just a little while ago. I have a paper to finish.”

“We’ll leave you to it, then,” Paulie said. “See you around, Styles.”

They shook hands and Harry watched as they left, Paulie’s arm wrapped around Jocelyn’s waist while she spoke with him in a hushed whisper. Dating a cheerleader might not have been his brightest idea because those girls were very loyal and he realized this may not be the first time one of them chewed him out for breaking up with Rowan. Blowing out a breath, he faced forward again, ready to get back to his paper, but his eyes caught Louis’ for a moment before the other boy looked down at his work. Great. Another thing for Louis to judge him about.

Harry started typing again, occasionally using his class notes to help him fill the pages and reach the required word count. Once done, he began reading over the paper for errors.

“Are my eyes deceiving me, or is that Harry Styles over there?”

Harry turned around at the sound of his name and once again, a couple of his friends approached him. They were also football players and just like Jocelyn, they were louder than most people preferred others to be in a library. Harry tried to quickly get through the conversation because the murderous glares being sent his way by his table mate were growing increasingly frequent. It was fruitless because Greg and Ian were super chatty, wanting to know about Harry’s summer plans and what he had going on. By the time they left and he turned around, a group of girls from his Math class came over to talk to him about the upcoming final. Louis looked close to wanting to rip his hair out and at this point and Harry actually felt just a teeny, tiny bit bad. He didn’t expect this many people to want to talk to him. When the girls left, Harry smiled apologetically at Louis.

Louis just avoided his eyes and huffed as he erased the Chem equation on his paper. Balancing equations. Harry did pretty well with those. He cleared his throat.

“Do you want some help?” he asked.

Louis dragged his teeth over his bottom lip and shook his head without looking up at Harry.

“Okay, well, I’m here if you do.”

“I don’t, thank you,” Louis finally spoke, his voice raspy from lack of use. “But if you do want to help, maybe stop talking to every person that comes over here. It’s so distracting!”

“Sorry,” Harry replied genuinely, despite the grin on his face. There was something so sick and satisfying when Louis got all riled up and on edge. He was usually so put together, always poised and calm. It seemed he only unveiled this side of him to Harry. And maybe it was weird that Harry did stuff just to coax these emotions out of him — make him lose control — but he couldn’t help it sometimes.

“I mean, honestly,” Louis said, finally looking at him. “I know you’re popular and people want to talk to you or whatever, but this is ridiculous. And you just had to pick this seat of all seats to sit in, huh?”

“I like this seat,” Harry replied. “Aren’t I allowed to sit where I like? It’s a free country and all.”

Louis huffed aggravatingly and continued on with his work.

“So, Chemistry, huh?” Harry asked after a beat of silence passed them. “Fun stuff, that.”

“What’s funny is that you actually think we’re engaging in conversation,” Louis drawled, his voice quiet as he began scribbling out another equation.

Harry exhaled a laugh as he shook his head in amusem*nt. Thankfully, after that, no one else came over to talk to Harry. It was nearing midnight and most students had already trickled out the door and back to their dorms. As the hours passed, it got quieter and quieter. And yet, Louis kept working. He worked through every equation until they began flowing out more easily. After that, he began going over his notes for his other classes. Harry wondered as he surreptitiously watched the other boy how he kept pushing himself. He had to have a lot of determination to pore over those notes over and over again. This was Harry’s first day actually putting in work for his finals, but he knew this wasn’t Louis’. This all meant so much to him and Harry couldn’t rationalize why. He felt bad, but he also didn’t.

As the hour stretched to 2 AM, Harry was yawning, his eyes burning from all the screen time. He was exhausted, but he’d gotten wrapped up in an article he was reading. He stretched his arms over his head and looked around. There was no sound coming from any of the other floors. The only things he heard were Louis’ soft breathing and the flip of his pages. If Harry wanted a good night’s sleep, he should probably head back to his dorm now, but he stayed rooted in his seat, watching Louis in a mildly creepy manner.

“Are you done?” Louis asked all of a sudden.

“What?” Harry asked. Done with studying or done staring at him?

“Are you done with whatever you’ve been doing while you’ve been here?” Louis replied, eyes flicking up to meet his.

“Are you done?”

“I won’t be done for a while,” Louis responded. “I usually pull all-nighters for finals.”

“So you’re just going to sit here all night?” Harry asked in disbelief.

“It’s a 24-hour library and it's meant for students to get their work done, so yes, I will be here all night.”

“Alone?”

Louis snorted. “Well, do you see anyone else here?”

“I mean,” Harry shrugged. “It’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?”

He glanced around at the cathedral ceilings and stained glass windows casting eerie shadows on the dark walls. While it was pretty during the daytime, it was absolutely spooky at night. Most of the main lights were off save for a few lamps and wall lights. When he looked back at Louis, he was surprised to see the delighted and bright smile on his face, even if there were dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep.

“Are you scared or something?” Louis asked him. “What are you scared of?”

“I’m not scared, Tomlinson,” Harry scoffed haughtily. “I’m just saying. You really want to sit here all alone in a big, dark library? There could be ghosts in here.”

“First of all, there are no such things as ghosts. Second of all, I was studying alone before you got here. I can study alone after you leave. If you’re so scared, feel free to go,” he shook his head. “Such a coward.”

“I’m not a coward,” Harry retorted.

“You are!”

“Am not.”

“Prove it,” Louis taunted.

“Are you a child?” Harry asked.

Louis just laughed out loud and turned back to his books. While Harry had been ready to go back to his dorm, he definitely wasn’t going to now. At least not until Louis left. Partly because he couldn’t, in good conscience, leave Louis alone here in the middle of the night, and also because he wasn’t going to let Louis think he was scared of a library after hours. So he flipped open his History notes and began reading over them. It grew quiet between them again until Louis got up from his seat an hour later, picking up one of the books on the table and making his way over to the shelves on the other side of the floor. Harry yawned the second he was out of sight and slumped down in his seat. He wanted to be in his bed so badly, but he wasn’t going to accept defeat. That would give Louis bragging rights and Harry couldn’t allow that. He took his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through some of his text messages.

Suddenly, a scream came from amongst the shelves. Harry stood up right away and rushed over when he saw Louis running back toward him.

“What?” he asked. “What happened?”

“I saw something,” Louis panted out, blue eyes wide in fear.

“Saw something?”

“I don’t know. I just — I was putting my book away. And I swear there was someone on the other side of the shelf.”

“Someone else?”

“I don’t know what or who it was!”

“Okay, okay,” Harry said, patting Louis’ shoulder in a placating manner. “Let’s go look together.”

“Are you sure?” Louis asked. “Shouldn’t we, like, run? In all the scary movies, people don’t run — they always go investigate and they die.”

“We have to see what you saw!”

“You’re that idiot in every movie, aren’t you?” Louis deadpanned. “The one walking toward the ghost asking to be killed.”

Harry smirked victoriously. “So you agree? There are such things as ghosts?”

Louis swatted at him and Harry let out a raspy laugh. He slowly walked over to the shelves and could hear Louis’ soft, quiet footsteps behind him. Louis pointed out where he saw whatever he saw and Harry peered around the shelf, only to find it was empty. He walked forward and turned to Louis, who was close on his heels.

“Nothing here,” Harry said.

“I swear I saw something,” Louis groaned, slumping back against one of the shelves. “It was this dark, hooded thing. I don’t know.”

“Are you sure you’re not just sleep-deprived and maybe mistook a shadow for a thing?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Don’t gaslight me!”

Harry softly chuckled, leaning back against the shelf in front of Louis. He looked run down in his black school pants and white shirt, rumpled and distressed from his long day. He didn’t have his black blazer on, but the forest green tie was present, albeit slightly skewed. Again — Harry waffled between pitying him and being frustrated with him. Louis wasn’t the kindest to him and Harry couldn’t deny it wasn’t fun messing with him. As he watched him, an idea formed in his head.

“You know,” he began conversationally. “When you said you saw something, I thought it might have been the ghost of James Hill.”

A divot formed between Louis’ brows. “James Hill?”

“You don’t know who that is?”

“No...should I?”

“Well, he died here,” Harry promptly informed, his expression solemn and serious.

“What do you mean?” Louis asked him, his voice quiet and shaky.

“He was a student here I think back in 1930. Not very popular and a constant loner. You know the type. He was studying in this library and a couple of mean guys shoved a bookshelf down on him when he wasn’t looking. The brunt of it caused major damage and he died.”

Louis’ eyes widened as he gaped at Harry. “Really? I’ve never heard of this.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded solemnly. “I’m shocked you haven’t since you come to the library so often. Everyone talks about his lore.”

“I don’t understand,” Louis muttered. “Why do you think it was his ghost?”

“I mean, I thought the whole lore was a joke at first, but now I’m not so sure.”

“What do you mean?” Louis pressed, moving closer, his throat bobbing up and down as he gulped.

Harry stepped forward, too, eliminating the space between them as he whispered in an eerie voice. “James’ ghost comes alive at night in here. His spirit is angry and seeking revenge, so he’s always looking for someone to unleash that on. There’s this story about a student who stayed here late and got possessed by him. Jumped off the bell tower and fell to his death.”

Louis’ face twisted into horror and he moved even closer. “Shut up. You’re lying.”

“I’m not,” Harry shook his head, watching the way Louis glanced around the dark library. “I’m telling the truth.”

“You’re not trying to scare me?”

“Why would I do that?” Harry asked, placing a hand over his chest and trying to look as sincere as possible.

“I’ve never believed in ghosts.”

“They’re real. I think that might be what you saw when you were over here.”

“I don’t know,” Louis whispered, shaking his head. “I don’t think —”

Suddenly, all the lights turned off and they both screamed, clamoring to grab onto each other.

“Oh my God,” Louis panted, gripping onto the front of Harry’s shirt. “It’s James. It’s James!”

Harry had no response. His hands were fisted over Louis’ shoulders while his eyes scanned the dark room. There was some light coming through the large windows, but not much. Maybe there was some truth to this made-up ghost story...

“We should find the light switch,” Harry said, his voice hoarse. “Or a switchboard of some sort.”

“There’s one toward the back over there,” Louis said, moving their bodies to gesture where. “I saw Frank going there a few times when the lights in here were acting up.”

Nodding, Harry slowly led them over to the switchboard. He had no idea how to work them, but he was going to hope he got it right because it was too dark to see anything in here. Louis had a death grip on him and kept looking around the library like he expected James to pop up from any corner.

“This is your fault, by the way,” Louis whispered.

“What? How is the light going out my fault?”

“Maybe if you didn’t summon James by talking about him, we’d be fine!”

“I did not do that.”

“No? So explain the series of events that just occurred. I tell you that I saw something and instead of running while we still had time and light, you decided to investigate. And then you start talking all this mumbo jumbo and now you’ve summoned a ghost. You’re a mess, Harry!”

“Oh, kiss my ass, Louis,” Harry grumbled.

“And catch whatever diseases you carry? No, thanks!”

Harry rolled his eyes as they reached the switchboard. Louis felt around for the latch and opened it, and they both stared at the switches lined up. Letting out a soft exhale, Louis began flicking all of them as if he was hoping any one of them would just do the trick.

“I think you’re doing that wrong,” Harry said.

“I think I’m going to punch you in the face if you don’t shut up.”

“As if you could f*cking reach me.”

“You know what —”

The lights flickered back on and they both gasped in relief before scrambling back to their table. They didn’t even have to say anything to each other. Both of them knew this study session was done. Once they gathered everything, they made their way downstairs and out the doors. Harry turned to look at Louis once they were in the clear and they both burst into laughter.

“God,” Louis said with a smile as they walked toward their dorms. “That was crazy.”

“Yeah. Not exactly how I pictured my night going,” Harry agreed.

“For a second, I really did think I was done for,” he added with a chuckle.

Guilt gnawed at Harry and he gave Louis a sheepish smile. “I have a confession.”

“What?” Louis asked, watching him curiously.

“I may have fibbed a little.”

“Fibbed?”

“The stuff about James Hill wasn’t true,” he admitted.

“What?” Louis asked, his voice incredulous and no longer happy like it was a second ago. “You lied to me and made that whole thing up?”

“It was just a joke,” Harry told him.

“A joke? Harry, are you serious?” Louis glowered.

“You don’t think it was funny?” Harry asked, trying to placate Louis by keeping his tone light.

Louis began whacking him with his book bag. “No, because it wasn’t funny, Harry. You really scared me!”

“God! Just relax. That was the point,” Harry said. “It was just supposed to be a joke to scare you a little. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not forgiven,” Louis scowled, looking away from him.

Harry sighed. “You know what? Sometimes I think I may be wrong about you, but then you prove that you’re exactly who I think you are, Louis.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Louis asked.

“You can’t take a joke. You’re always so uptight. And you always take everything way too seriously. You’re just a weird robot, who probably never had any fun, even as a kid. I bet you listened to Bach instead of watching, like, Power Rangers or something. For fun, you probably did crossword puzzles and played chess.”

“Wow,” Louis drawled sarcastically. “You’ve got me so figured out, Harry. Please continue to psychoanalyze me some more.”

“I’m just saying! Most people would laugh at the joke, but you’re just mad at me.”

“I’m mad because you actually scared me.”

“I apologized.”

“Yes, but we’re not friends, Harry. You don’t get to joke around with me like we are. Are my feelings toward you not clear enough?”

Harry groaned up at the sky as they approached the dormitories. “You’re so dull. It’s fine that we’re not friends. I don’t want to be friends with you.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” Louis shot at him before marching toward his own dorm.

Harry watched him go until he went inside, wondering what it would take to crack through someone like Louis who had the toughest exterior he’d ever seen.

₊˚⊹♡

It was the last bonfire of the year and Harry was drunk.

He usually kept it together at these parties, but junior year was over, and Harry was in the mood to celebrate. Not that he had much to look forward to this summer other than gross diets and workouts that made his limbs feel like jelly. He felt bittersweet that he only had one year left at this place. In some ways, Saint Augustine was a refuge for him. It got him away from home and his overbearing father, who was either constantly pushing his own dreams and agenda onto his son, or leaving him at home with the nanny while living his lavish life with whatever woman he was swept up in for that month. Here, Harry had friends. He had school and work that kept him busy. And he didn’t mind football because he liked being a part of a team even if the sport didn’t make him happy like everyone thought it did.

This time next year, he would be graduating and heading off to university where he’d have to put down new roots and do all of this all over again. Just the thought had Harry reaching for another drink. He cracked open a cool Miller Lite and took a long sip while his eyes searched the crowd for someone to chat with. He’d been avoiding Rowan, for the most part, as she’d been trying to pull him aside for a chat. Paulie told him that Jocelyn told him that Rowan was campaigning to get back together with Harry. It was all really awkward and he didn’t want to give her time in public where she may give him no choice but to make up.

To his surprise, Harry’s eyes landed on Louis. He frowned as he took another sip. He didn’t peg Louis as the partying type, but he was currently standing a few feet away with a guy and a girl, chatting quietly. Harry slowly made his way over to Louis. His guy friend was saying something to Louis, and as Harry got closer, Louis’ eyes flickered over to him.

“Are you listening?” the guy asked Louis.

Louis turned back to his friend and nodded, even though it was obvious he was distracted. Distracted by Harry.

“Do my eyes deceive me?” Harry asked upon reaching the other boy, his eyes lit up mirthfully. “Are you actually here?”

“Are you drunk, Harry?” Louis asked, fixing him with a look while crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why? You going to write me up a demerit, Tomlinson?” Harry joked, his lips twitching as he fought a smile.

The guy beside Louis watched the two of them carefully before excusing himself with the girl. Louis tutted. “You’re driving my friends away, Harry. What do you want?”

“Liam Payne, right?” Harry asked, watching the guy in question lead the girl toward a log by the fire. They both sat down and gave each other a quick kiss before drawing apart.

“Yes. And that’s his girlfriend, Clara.”

Harry turned back to Louis, lifting his can up to his lips for another sip. “Sorry. I just thought I’d come say hi. I’m surprised to see you here.”

“Finals are over, so I thought, why not?”

“How’d you do?”

“I’m confident I did well,” Louis replied proudly. “You?”

“Pretty good,” Harry shrugged. His last final was just this morning and he was glad they were over.

“Anyway, I’ve been to a few bonfires before. You just never noticed me, I guess,” Louis added.

“I think I’d notice you.”

“Usually, you’re wrapped up with someone pretty, so I doubt that. No girlfriend tonight? Or boyfriend?”

Harry shook his head, his tongue skating over his bottom lip. “I’m single, at the moment.”

“That’s a shocker. What’s the matter? Gone through the entire school population already?”

“Dick,” Harry snickered, shaking his head as Louis laughed as well. “I’m single because I’m choosing to be. And there’s nothing wrong with dating around.”

“I’m not saying there is,” Louis added. “I’m just teasing you.”

“Is that something we do now? Tease each other?”

“I think you’re enjoying it a bit too much.”

Harry couldn’t deny it. His eyes trailed over Louis’ black t-shirt and matching jeans, and the way his clothes hugged his body. “What about you? Where’s Theo at?”

“I’m not sure,” Louis replied. “I saw him for a minute when I first got here, but then he disappeared.”

“Everything good between you two?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” Louis asked, watching him with a curious expression on his face.

He faltered, unsure if he should tell Louis how he really felt about the two of them. The truth was, Louis was indifferent toward his boyfriend and, to Harry, that proved that whatever was going on between them wasn’t all that great. When Louis liked something — when he set his mind on something — he became obsessed. He fixated on it and he was passionate. But when Louis talked about Theo, there was none of that. He sounded bored.

“You ever been in love, Tomlinson?” he asked instead.

Louis snorted in disbelief. “That’s none of your business. What — you think I have to be in love with Theo in order for things to be good between us?”

“You said it, not me,” Harry put his hands up.

“Well, you’re wrong,” Louis replied hotly. “Theo and I are just fine.”

“Right...just fine.”

“You’re being so weird,” Louis told him. “I don’t need to always be hanging off of him, you know? Like your partners do to you. I like to give my boyfriend space. He does his thing and I do mine. It’s healthy.”

“I’ve seen you guys fight, Louis. Healthy is an interesting choice of a word to describe you two,” Harry scrunched his nose. “I’m just surprised that you guys have lasted this long.”

“All couples fight! And you can judge us all you want, but at least I’m trying and putting in effort. You wouldn’t know anything about that. Your longest relationship lasted a month.”

“Maybe,” Harry admitted. “But I can tell you’re not that into him.”

“You don’t know anything about us, so I’d prefer it if you minded your business.”

“Fine,” he shrugged. “There’s nothing wrong with what I do, either, you know? If the relationship has run its course, why stay in it? It’s healthy to let it go and move on.”

“I guess when you’ve got a line of people waiting to date you, you would say that. I think you get off on the idea of people wanting you more than your actual relationship. But I guess it’s mutual since none of those people actually like you. They just want you...for whatever reason.”

“And that’s fine with me,” Harry snorted.

“It is?”

“Yes,” Harry nodded. “Is it so bad that I like that? It makes me feel good. I want people to want me.”

“Wow,” Louis drawled out. “You’re a literal sociopath.”

“And you’re judgmental.”

“Yeah, well, I think you’re jealous of me and Theo.”

“Trust me, babe,” he chuckled, teasing Louis with Theo’s pet name for him. “I’m not.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at Harry and snatched the can of beer from him, taking a long sip before handing it back to him. “I think I see my boyfriend now. See you around, Styles.”

With that, he walked away and Harry watched as he made his way over to Theo, who was with a couple of the guys from the football team. Louis tapped him on the shoulder and Theo looped his arm around his waist, giving him a kiss. Louis kissed him back and then immediately turned to look at Harry, like he was making sure Harry saw them. Once they made eye contact, Louis smiled, looking satisfied, and turned away.

₊˚⊹♡

Summer break always started out a bit slow.

After a jam-packed year at Saint Augustine, Harry came home and felt like a stranger in his own room. At least for the first few days. That was why he opted to stay outside by the pool instead. Days went by and all he did was swim and lounge under the sun with his shades on, napping on and off; he had a sick tan to show for it. In a couple of weeks, he was due to start football camp and training again, as per his dad’s instructions, so he was enjoying as much relaxation as possible while he could. He didn’t really try arguing with Jack about the training camp. Harry didn’t have any other plans for the break, so he figured he might as well go.

Currently, he was scrolling through Instagram while lying out on one of their pool loungers. He liked a post by Niall, who was vacationing in Spain with his family and bypassed a post made by Rowan. She was on a boat wearing a tiny, yellow bikini, long brown hair styled to perfection. While she looked amazing, Harry didn’t want to give her any ideas. He was pretty sure she’d gotten the message and stopped trying to get her friends to corner him and talk him into reconsidering getting back together.

The glass doors to the house slid open and Cherry stepped out wearing a short, white sundress. Her auburn hair was pinned up into a high-top bun and she looked every bit like the suburban trophy wife she aspired to be.

“Harry,” she called out. “I’ve got something for you.”

Harry sat up and waited as she made her way over to him. In her hand was a white envelope, thick with the Saint Augustine crest on it. “Is that for me?” he asked.

“Yes, it just came in,” she responded as she handed it to him. “You’re staying for dinner, right? Jack’s invited a few of his friends, so it will be a big feast.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m actually going out tonight. But thanks for asking.”

“No problem,” she smiled politely. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Cherry walked back inside while Harry stared down at the envelope. He didn’t really have any plans, but having to mingle and socialize with his dad’s friends always drained him in the worst way. The constant questions about his future football career, having to listen to their glory days stories, and the stiff way he held himself the whole night, like if he breathed the wrong way, he’d show them all how much he was faking it. Harry would much rather go for a drive, grab some fast food, and sit in his car and eat. Even if it was pathetic. Whatever. No one was going to witness him.

Flipping the envelope over, he slowly ripped it open and took out the folded sheet of paper inside. It was his grades. His eyes scanned over the high scores and landed at the average grade at the bottom. 98.7%.

Immediately, his thoughts drifted to Louis. He was probably sitting in his home right now reviewing his grades as well. Harry couldn’t help but wonder what he got and how he was feeling about it. He knew Louis’ goal every year was to be the first in the class rankings. Not that Harry ever really looked at that stuff. Still, he was curious.

Harry placed his report on his lap and picked up his phone, opening up his browser and typing in the school’s website. After logging into the school portal, he saw the usual Blackboard view, a new link to his final grades, and the upcoming year’s schedule. He bypassed all of that and navigated to the Class Rankings tab. They were done by grades and so he scrolled down to Year 11. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw it.

1) Harry Styles - 98.7%

2) Louis Tomlinson - 98.6%

Well, sh*t.

₊˚⊹♡

With two bags full of Taco Bell, Harry parked his car in the parking lot and began digging into a chipotle chicken burrito while turning up the volume of the Hozier album he was listening to. He’d made a sneaky escape from the house after his dad got home. Jack would have definitely tried to coerce Harry into staying just for networking purposes. He was always encouraging him to use whatever connection they had to get ahead in all aspects of his life. Thankfully, Jack hadn’t seen him as he went straight into the kitchen where Cherry was taking out all the food they’d ordered to serve to the guests. She wasn’t much of a cook but sometimes tried.

As he reached for a second burrito, his phone began to ring and he grinned when he saw Niall’s name on the screen. Harry accepted the FaceTime and waited while it connected, turning down the volume of his music. He was delighted to see that Zayn was also on the call.

“Styles,” Niall said in lieu of a greeting. “Why the f*ck are you in the dark?”

“I’m in my car. Eating Taco Bell,” Harry replied, taking a hearty bite of his burrito.

“Taco Bell?” Zayn asked, arching a brow. “Is that allowed in your crazy football diet?”

“No,” Harry snorted as she shook his head. “But I don’t give a f*ck right now. Football camp doesn’t start for another two weeks and I’m going to be bad until then.”

“Bad to the bone,” Niall sang, throwing his head back.

He appeared to be in some room, walls a shade of burgundy. Harry assumed it was his hotel room in Spain. Zayn, on the other hand, was outside, but it was still daylight where he was. His family was currently on vacation in San Francisco. Everyone was doing something or another and Harry felt pathetic that he was at home eating his weight in Taco Bell, no matter how delicious it was. Most of his breaks ended up being like this. He was constantly grappling between being too lazy to make any plans and wanting to be alone, but being in a constant state of FOMO because he wasn’t doing anything like everyone else was. He briefly considered texting this guy he met through one of his friends last summer. He didn’t live too far and a summer fling would potentially cure Harry’s boredom.

“So what brought on the Taco Bell run...which will inevitably give you the runs later?” Zayn asked.

“My dad’s got friends over and Cherry’s in full housewife and host mode. I didn’t want to be around for all of that.”

“How is Cherry?” Niall asked, a lascivious grin on his face. “She still have that sexy bod?”

“Ew, Niall,” Harry wrinkled his nose.

“That’s his stepmom, idiot,” Zayn chastised with a laugh.

“She’s, like, ten years older than him,” Niall laughed.

Twelve years, not that it made much of a difference. Cherry was alright, but neither she nor Harry ever knew how to act around each other. She was always polite and offered to include him in things and Harry appreciated that, but he intentionally kept his distance from his dad. If Jack saw how much Harry was relaxing and not watching what he was eating, he’d definitely hire some personal trainer from now until football camp.

“Did you guys get your grades?” Zayn asked.

“I checked it online because I saw some people from school post about it,” Niall said. “I did alright. How about you guys?”

“Mostly excelled in the creative classes,” Zayn shrugged. “Bombed in Math, but passed. What about you, Harry?”

“I did pretty good,” he replied. “Happy with it.”

“He’s saying that like he doesn’t have the highest score in the entire grade,” Niall teased. “Our humble king.”

Harry huffed. “You know I don’t even care about that.”

“The only one in our school who does is probably so pissed,” Niall pointed out in reference to Louis. Harry just nodded, taking another bite of his burrito as he wondered once again how Louis was faring. This was going to be really funny to hold over his head next year. Hopefully, this loss would take the other boy down a few notches.

The three of them caught up for a little while more. Niall regaled them with tales from Spain, including a funny story about how his dad got sunburned after sitting outside on their balcony for too long. Zayn talked a bit about San Francisco and all the museums he’d visited so far. Harry didn’t have much to offer, but he told them about his tan and finishing a few shows he’d been putting off watching.

“Are you boys free the second week of August?” Niall asked.

“I should be, yeah,” Zayn responded.

“Same. Football camp runs through the beginning of July and then it’s done,” Harry added. “Why? What’s up?”

“If you can, you should come up to my family’s vacation house in Maine. We can stay there all week, eat our weight in lobster, and chill. We also have a boat this year.”

“That’d be sick,” Harry grinned, excited at the prospect of actual fun plans. “I’m in.”

“Me, too,” Zayn said. “A last hurrah before we get back to school.”

Harry smiled at them and felt a sense of gratitude that he had these guys in his life. Neither of them were on the football team, but they were Harry’s best friends. They’d liked him before they found out who he was and wanted to hang out with him beyond just playing football together. If anything, they were his only real friends.

₊˚⊹♡

The Beacon Hills Mayor was throwing a big soiree at his mansion on top of a hill that overlooked the whole town. It was obscenely large in a way where it didn’t resemble a home as much as it did a museum. Given how narcissistic and dim-witted Mayor Campbell was, Harry could totally see him living here. He’d only ever seen the man during major town events, and this was the first time he’d been to his place. There wasn’t much of a reason behind the soiree, it was just an excuse for all the local politicians and rich folk with some sort of title or status to come together and drink and brag about who had more money.

Jack was insistent that Harry come along with him and Cherry no matter how much he told them he needed his rest since he was in the midst of intense training at football camp. His dad didn’t think that was a good enough excuse. Upon arriving at the soiree, he understood why. Multiple football coaches from nearby universities were present, as well as several other former athletes of varying sports. Jack wanted tonight to be a networking opportunity for Harry.

Everything was an opportunity for Jack Styles.

Harry stood in the corner of the living room, holding a champagne flute that a waiter had casually handed to him. He sipped it slowly. He’d never liked the taste of champagne and this one was extra bitter for some reason. There was an open bar as well and Harry was pretty certain that if he walked over there and asked for something stronger, no one would care, but he wanted to ride this stupid night out, sober and headstrong.

After people watching for a bit, Harry decided to walk around and see what the rest of the house looked like. Most of the interior had that classic, American home vibe. Harry spotted at least ten things that had the stars and stripes pattern on them, with several furniture and decor pieces in varying shades of red, white, and blue. He passed by two different sitting rooms, a dining room, and a powder room where several middle-aged women laughed hysterically about something.

Harry noticed a door left ajar at the far end of the hallway and curiously began walking toward it. With his hand on the doorknob, he slowly swung it open. Inside was a massive study with several shelves of thick books lined up along the wall and a dark desk against the wall. There was someone sitting in one of the armchairs in the center of the room.

“Louis?” Harry asked, his brows furrowed.

Louis’ eyes looked bored as they flicked up from the book he was reading. The second Louis processed that it was Harry, the expression on his face turned from neutral to pure rage. Harry’s eyes widened as Louis got up from his seat and began charging toward him.

“You!”

Harry had no idea what he’d done to provoke such a response, but he attempted to quickly shut the door on Louis and run out of there before he got to him. He wasn’t quick enough. Louis grabbed him by the collar of his dress shirt and dragged him inside before shoving him against the door, promptly closing it.

“What the f*ck are you doing?” Harry grunted, inching as far away from Louis as possible.

“You did this!”

“Did what, you f*cking psycho?”

“You ruined my perfect GPA and caused me to be second in the class rankings!” Louis shouted shrilly.

“Are you out of your mind?” Harry hissed, shoving the other boy back and away from his space. He straightened his white shirt and glared at Louis. “How the hell do you think I did that? I don’t have control over the grades, Louis!”

“You — you didn’t try hard enough during our group project! You half-assed it because you were pissed at me for not going to your dumb game.”

“We got a 95% on that,” Harry reminded him. “That’s a perfectly good grade.”

“We could have done better if you’d just tried harder,” Louis threw his hands up. “This was your ploy all along. I know it!”

“You’re out of your f*cking mind, Louis.”

“Stop acting innocent!”

Harry walked toward him with slow, menacing steps. “You actually think I had this whole diabolical plan to f*ck with our group project just so you would get a lower GPA than me? You honestly think I care this much about being first in the class rankings?”

“Yes,” Louis jutted his chin out stubbornly. He was wearing black slacks and a navy blue dress shirt and Harry would be inclined to say he looked nice, but not when Louis was acting like a crazy person. “It was all a part of your plan.”

“Do you ever f*cking hear yourself? No one actually gives a f*ck about a class ranking except for you.”

“So why did you take it from me?”

“I didn’t do sh*t! You only lost by .1%, Louis. It’s practically yours.”

“Except for the fact that it’s not.”

Harry groaned out loud, tilting his head up and covering his face with his hands. He turned around and began walking toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Louis asked him. “We’re not done here.”

“Actually, we are,” Harry replied, whirling around. “I’m done talking to you. I’ve had a sh*t summer. And now I’m stuck at this stupid party and the guy I can’t stand is here and being a colossal dick. So, yeah. I’m f*cking done, Louis.”

He made his way out of the room and walked back into the living room where everyone was still milling around and chatting. Jack spotted Harry and ushered him over. Sighing, Harry walked to him and offered him and the three men around him a small smile.

“Gentlemen,” Jack said, his grin identical to the one Harry wore when he was trying to impress someone. “I’d like to introduce you to my son, Harry. He’s currently a student at Saint Augustine Academy in New Hampshire.”

“Nice to meet you,” Harry greeted politely as he shook hands with everyone.

“He’s currently the quarterback of the football team and has led the team to a championship win every year since his freshmen year,” Jack continued.

“What grade are you in now?” one of the guys asked. He had cropped, black hair, and a chiseled jaw that reminded Harry of the Handsome Squidward meme.

“I’ll be a senior this fall,” Harry replied.

“This is Marcus Fallon, Harry,” Jack said, clapping the man on the shoulder as he introduced him. “He’s the football coach at Penn State.”

“Is that one of your school choices, Harry?” Marcus asked.

Before Harry could get a word in, Jack laughed loudly. “We’re aiming for Ohio State, Clemson, and Stanford, Marcus. But if Penn State has a good offer, we’ll be in touch. Isn’t that right, Harry?”

Harry could only meekly nod. Marcus laughed along with Jack. “So basically all of our rivals?”

“They’re at the top,” Jack responded. “And I only want the best for Harry. He’s got such a promising future and career ahead of him. You know, I’ve never met a kid who works as hard as him. I’m so proud to call him mine, you know?”

At those words, Harry felt touched, but he knew Jack only meant it in terms of football. He didn’t even care to ask Harry how he did in school or any of the other things he was interested in. It was always about football.

“Is he going to give you a run for your money?” one of the other guys asked, chuckling. “Beat your touchdown record?”

“I’m hopeful,” Jack smirked. “No one’s done it yet, but I have a good feeling it might be my son.”

They began laughing again and as the topic changed to the current scores and stats of other players, Harry quietly excused himself. He walked into the next room where he spotted the open bar. Without much thought, he approached it and smiled at the bartender. “A vodka soda, please,” he requested.

The bartender, who was a young guy with a thin mustache, took one look at him and began making his drink, no questions asked. Harry didn’t know whether to be relieved or scared at what this could mean for the rest of his night. He drank most of his new drink while scrolling through Instagram, and then asked for another. This time, he drank just a tad bit faster because he could see his dad standing nearby with Cherry. Thankfully, they didn’t see him chugging it. By the time they left to mingle some more, Harry ordered another drink, this one a little stronger than the last.

By the time he was done with it, he was feeling much better about everything. He wasn’t feeling so sorry for himself and his lackluster summer. He didn’t care that his dad was constantly putting him on this weird pedestal that he never asked to be on while shoving his own dreams down Harry’s throat. And he didn’t f*cking care that his arch-nemesis was at this party, acting like a complete idiot. Harry felt good.

He felt better.

“Can I please get another?” he asked the bartender, his speech slightly slurred.

“Sorry, kid,” he shook his head. “I think I’m going to have to cut you off.”

“Oh, c’mon. Just one more won’t hu—”

“Harry,” Jack called, interrupting him. “Come over here for a moment.”

Harry turned to see his dad standing a few feet away with another group of men, all burly and tall with crisp suits on, and he held up his pointer finger to the bartender. “Give me just a minute. I’ll be right back.”

He slowly walked over to his dad, but his gait was weak and he stumbled a couple of times, his cheeks flushed and warm as he laughed. “Whoops,” he mumbled as he reached them.

Jack eyed him warily as he placed an arm around him. “This is Harry, my son,” he introduced him to the group. “He’s a student at Saint Augustine Academy in New Hampshire.”

“My daughter goes there,” one of them exclaimed, eyes lighting up in recognition. “Her name’s Arabella and she’s a junior this coming fall, so you might not know her.”

“Wait, I do,” Harry grinned, laughing as he swayed in his spot. The room was starting to spin a bit and he couldn’t stand still. “I dated her. Arabella with the sweet mouth and pink hair.”

Her father looked at Harry in surprise. “You dated?”

“We did,” Harry nodded excitedly. “Last spring. Really great girl. Good kisser...good body, too.”

“Harry,” Jack warned before offering Arabella’s dad a placating smile. “Sorry about this. I’m sure he’s mixing people up.”

“I’m not,” Harry insisted with a frown. “I dated an Arabella.”

“Would you excuse us, gentlemen?” Jack asked. He didn’t wait for an answer as he grabbed Harry’s arm and harshly tugged him down to the hallway Harry had explored earlier.

Without checking to see who else was nearby, Jack rounded on Harry and stood in front of him. “Are you f*cking kidding me, Harry? You’re drunk?”

“No.”

“Don’t even think about lying. I can smell it on you!”

“Okay, fine yeah. But just a bit,” Harry confessed. “There’s an open bar.”

“You’re still underage, kid! What the f*ck were you thinking?” Jack shouted. “I don’t care what you do when you’re with your friends, but here? How do you think this makes me look? This is humiliating!”

He wasn’t thinking clearly when he began drinking, but he also thought Jack screaming at him was just as humiliating for the both of them. The rooms nearby that were bustling with conversation suddenly grew quiet.

“It’s not a big dea—”

“Enough!” Jack hissed. “Yes, it is a big deal. You’re embarrassing and you’re childish. When will you grow up?”

Harry frowned as he stared down at the hardwood floors. He wanted it to swallow him whole.

“Talking about dating the daughter of an investor is so foolish. He’s the one funding so many teams. You’ve really gone and f*cked it up, Harry.”

“I didn’t know,” Harry mumbled, looking away from him.

“Yeah, well, you never f*cking do. Stay here until the night is over. I don’t want you to show your face out there. I’m going to go and fix your mess.”

With that, he walked away, leaving Harry alone. Harry leaned back on the wall and slumped against it, sighing deeply. A quiet click of a doorknob came from down the hall and Harry turned to see Louis walk out of the study and toward him. The anger that was present on his face before was long gone. It was now replaced with something Harry likened to pity. He hated that so much more.

“What do you want now?” Harry asked bitterly.

“I wanted to see if you were okay,” Louis told him.

“Well, I’m not,” Harry replied cruelly. “Bet you’re loving it, aren’t you? Watching me get yelled at by my dad?”

Louis shook his head. “No.”

“Oh, come off it. You actually want me to believe that you’re not gloating inside right now?”

“I’m not,” Louis insisted. “That was brutal, Harry...and I’m sorry.”

Harry shook his head as he looked away from him. “I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to.” Louis stood beside him, mirroring his position. “This night sucks.”

“Tell me about it,” Harry drawled. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“My dad’s friends with Mayor Campbell,” Louis explained. “So we were invited.”

Ah, right. Louis’ dad was a Congressman so it’d make sense why Louis was here. Harry always forgot that Louis didn’t live too far from him. He sighed. “I can’t wait for this night to be over. I wish I could leave now.”

Louis looked at him. “Would you want to?”

“And go where?” Harry frowned. “My house is pretty far from here and I shouldn’t drive right now.”

“I don’t live too far,” Louis replied. “My house is actually down the block.”

Harry stepped away from the wall and looked at Louis carefully, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You being serious, Tomlinson? Are you actually inviting me back to your place?”

Louis rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. “Let’s go before I change my mind about being nice to you.”

“Wow, I consider myself so lucky,” Harry snorted. “Fine. Let’s go.”

They walked past all the adults, none of whom batted an eye at them. Against his better judgment, Harry followed Louis out the front door and into the night.

₊˚⊹♡

Ten minutes later, they sat side by side with their feet dipped into the cool water of Louis’ pool, slacks rolled up so they wouldn’t get wet. Louis’ house was only a two-minute walk from Mayor Campbell’s, and it was just as big with a sprawling lawn and a massive backyard. The pool was the highlight, long and wide, probably so Louis could practice swimming during the off-season when he was home. Harry’s eyes stayed glued to the blue of the water and he was lost in his thoughts, thinking back to the events of the night and how it all unfolded with his dad.

“I thought a lot about what you said to me in the room,” Louis said, his voice cutting into the silence that had stretched between them from the moment they left the Mayor’s house.

“Oh?” Harry peered at him from the corner of his eye.

Louis nodded, his shoulders slouched. “I realize how insane my accusations sounded, but you have to understand. It’s so hard, Harry. This means everything to me.”

“I know, Louis, but you can’t let it have this much power over your life. It shouldn’t be like life or death.”

“That’s what it feels like sometimes,” Louis stressed, turning to face him fully.

“You get so caught up in all of it. It’s all you and your doing.”

“You don’t know what it’s like for me. You don’t get the pressure I’m under.”

“I don’t?” Harry asked, tilting his head to the side. “Do I need to remind you of the sh*t show that was my father and me tonight?”

“No,” Louis shook his head.

“I get it. I know all about pressure and expectations. But you’re an asshole, Louis.”

“As if you’re any better,” Louis shot back with a scowl.

“You’re so miserable!”

“Like you’re so happy?”

“At least I try.”

Louis looked at him and, despite their heated exchange, his expression and demeanor were still calm. “You can’t act like this is all just me. Like you don’t purposely rile me up for your amusem*nt.”

“Yeah, well you make it so easy, it’s hard not to,” Harry chuckled playfully, though Louis didn’t seem to feel the same.

“That’s f*cked up, Harry!” Louis said. “At least I don’t go out of my way to sh*t on you like you do to me. You can call me an asshole for always clocking you on your sh*t, but you’re just as much of an ass. And you think it’s fine to act like that because you have daddy issues, but that’s a choice. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

Harry glared at him, no longer finding this funny. “f*ck off. You don’t know sh*t about my life. If you want to play dirty, I can call you out just as much. You’re not Mr. Perfect like you act like you are. You’re uptight and annoying and a constant pain in the ass. I don’t know how Theo deals with you.”

“Oh, so we’re back to Theo again, are we?”

“I’m just saying! When was the last time you got laid?”

Louis guffawed. “What the f*ck? Where do you get off asking me that?”

“You wanted to be all honest, right?” Harry gave him a pointed look.

“I am not discussing my sex life with you.”

“Or maybe it doesn’t exist?” Harry asked coyly.

Louis just glared at him.

“Do you want to know what I really think?”

“No, but I feel like you’re about to tell me anyway,” Louis said.

“I think that you just haven’t met the right guy yet. You need someone who can really give you what you need.”

Louis scoffed. “Isn’t Theo, like, one of your friends? Why are you always trying to convince me to break up with him?”

“I’m not saying that.”

“You’re implying it. Besides, this whole conversation was supposed to be about you, but you’re just flipping it on me.”

“Because I don’t want to talk about my dad with you and have a pity party,” Harry responded, his tone bristling. “I don’t want to talk about him at all let alone with the guy who hates my guts.”

Louis’ expression visibly softened again. “He was wrong, you know? To speak to you like that.”

Harry shrugged noncommittally as he looked up at the night sky. “Yeah, well. He was probably right. I did embarrass him. You know Arabella? The sophom*ore?”

“Yeah.”

“Her dad was at the party and I told him how I dated her and she was a good kisser and had a nice body. Also something about a sweet mouth.”

Louis’ eyes widened. “Why did you do that?”

“I had a lot to drink. I thought the night couldn’t get any worse, so why not get drunk?” Harry admitted.

“Well, either way, your dad should have saved all of that for home and not done it in public. Isn’t he happy at how well you did in school?”

“Like I said, not everyone cares about that. And honestly — I wasn’t even trying to be the first in the class rankings. It just happened.”

“I know,” Louis sighed dejectedly. “It all just comes so easy to you, doesn’t it?”

“Nothing is ever easy.”

“For you, it is. Don’t you get it?” Louis asked. “I worked so hard and I earned that top spot, but you still got it. You get everything you want and everything I want, too. It doesn’t seem very fair.”

He looked so defeated, his soft, pink lips downturned as he stared down at his lap. Suddenly, Harry had the urge to surrender himself to Louis. Tell him he could have whatever he wanted from Harry because he didn’t want this life anyway. He didn’t want to be who he was sometimes.

“You can have it, Louis,” Harry offered him a droll smile. “I don’t want it that bad and I’m not trying to take anything from you. My dad’s friend’s with the headmaster. I can speak with him and maybe —”

“No,” Louis shook his head firmly. “It’s fine. But I’m gunning for it senior year and I’m going to beat you fair and square. Otherwise, it doesn’t count.”

Harry continued to smile at him, half amused and half in awe. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and took it out to see a text from Cherry saying Jack was looking for him. They were leaving the party soon. Harry exhaled deeply and stood up.

“I’ve got to head out,” he said.

Louis stayed seated and nodded. Harry watched him for a moment longer.

“Thanks for, um, talking with me, I guess,” he said.

“No problem,” Louis replied. “See you in the fall?”

“Yeah, see you in the fall.”

Chapter 3: 3 | LOUIS

Chapter Text

If Louis had to pick, Autumn would be his favorite season. Despite being a Winter baby, he loved the crisp weather, the crunch of the leaves under his shoes, and the optimism that came with the start of a school year and a brand-new planner. It was September and he was back on campus at Saint Augustine, more than ready to take on his senior year. He had a good feeling that it was going to be a successful one. Last year didn’t quite pan out the way he had hoped in terms of his grades, but there was no point in holding on to that. Besides, senior year counted the most since he wanted to be valedictorian.

This past summer, Louis pored over all the pamphlets he’d collected over the years of the Ivy League universities he was considering applying to — Harvard, Yale, and Princeton. He’d had the opportunity to visit each campus a couple of times and he’d taken notes and made pros and cons lists before finally deciding on making Harvard his number one choice. They had a great program for Political Science, something he’d been wanting to major in since he was in elementary school. William mentioned to Louis that he had a few friends and acquaintances who worked at Harvard and that he’d definitely start talking with them so Louis’ application and name were at the forefront of their minds when choosing students for next year.

As Louis walked out of his last class of the day, he began to feel a bit sentimental. This was going to be his final year at Saint Augustine and he really wanted to make it count. Maybe say “yes” to more things instead of “no”. Like having movie nights with Liam or going to more of Theo’s football games. He’d make more of an effort this year since this would be his last chance. After this, everything would be different.

Louis put his earbuds in as he walked toward the library. He knew it was only the first day of classes, but some of the teachers assigned homework that would be due the following week, so he just wanted a head start while he still had free time. Swimming would also start up in a couple of weeks and he knew once that began, his schedule would become hard to maintain. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled his phone out to play his studying playlist but a new text message caught his eye. The number wasn’t saved on his phone, so he initially thought it was spam, but when he went to delete the message, the words on the screen caught him by surprise.

Unknown Number (3:01 PM): hey. is this Louis?

It seemed sketchy and he wanted to ignore it, but something was stumping him about this. He’d always been too curious for his own good. After mulling it over for a few seconds, he decided to just do it. Sending a text back wouldn’t do much harm.

Louis (3:11 PM): Yes. Who’s this?

Unknown Number (3:11 PM): i’d like to remain anonymous if that’s ok. just don’t want the drama

What the f*ck? Louis’ brows furrowed as he approached the oak doors of the library. He closed his phone and went inside, snagging his favorite table on the fourth floor. After getting his planner and laptop out, he opened up the message thread again.

Louis (3:17 PM): Alright. Is there a reason you texted me? How did you get my number? Have we met?

Unknown Number (3:17 PM): not really. i just know of you and i wanted to tell you something.

Unknown Number (3:17 PM): it’s about theo

Unknown Number (3:18 PM): i knw it’s super creepy that i’m texting you. I had to ask around for your number, but i really needed to speak to you

Louis (3:18 PM): About Theo?

Unknown Number (3:18 PM): yeah, there’s something you should know about him

Louis stared down at his phone, his thoughts running wildly with what this could be about. It was obvious that whatever it was, it wasn’t good news. Nobody would have gone out of their way to speak to him if it wasn’t a bad thing.

Louis (3:19 PM): Okay. I’m listening.

Unknown Number (3:19 PM): theo cheated on you

Louis gaped at his phone.

Louis (3:19 PM): What? How do you know this?

Unknown Number (3:20 PM): i saw him and so did a whole party of people

Unknown Number (3:20 PM): i’m not sure if anyone else has told you, but i know this for a fact and wanted to let you know

Louis (3:20 PM): Why should I believe you? I don’t even know who you are.

Unknown Number (3:20 PM): i have no reason to go out of my way and tell you this. i just think no one should be cheated on and be kept in the dark about it.

Louis bit his bottom lip harshly as he leaned back in his chair and stared at the texts on his phone. He felt both skeptical and stunned at the same time. It made him feel somewhat guilty that he was inclined to believe an anonymous person about something regarding his boyfriend’s character, but a niggling feeling in the back of his mind told him they had a point. Why would they go out of their way to tell him this? Doing so wouldn’t benefit them. Unless it was someone who had feelings for Theo and wanted to create a rift between he and Louis. Though he was less convinced of this explanation, Louis wouldn’t be surprised. Theo was an attractive football player and he knew there were probably a lot of people who wanted him.

Even then, this was out of the blue and excessive enough for Louis to have trouble assuming it was entirely made up. He wracked his brain trying to think of who this person could be. Whoever it was, they were probably close with the football players. Maybe it was a football player? It could also be one of the cheerleaders. Literally anyone.

Theo had arrived on campus yesterday and they’d met up. When Louis thought back to how he’d behaved, Theo didn’t seem guilty or out of sorts. He acted like his usual self. In fact, it was a really nice day. They’d cuddled and made out on Louis’ bed for hours, eager to get some time together after a long summer apart.

This anonymous texter and everything about this situation was so bizarre. Whoever was doing this had gone to great lengths to reach him, so Louis knew there was a reason behind it other than a prank or a lie. Plus, when he really thought about it, he was ashamed to admit that somehow, the news didn’t phase him as much as it should. He was suddenly reminded of times when he’d witnessed Theo checking out other people in front of him. Many of whom were Louis’ own friends. But, he tried to remind himself that that didn’t make Theo a cheater. He had a wandering eye, sure, but that wasn’t enough grounds to suspect him of cheating, which was a pretty big accusation. Still, Louis was going to keep his guard up and look into this.

Louis (3:23 PM): Can you tell me more? Like who was it and where? When?

Unknown Number (3:23 PM): i don’t want to get outted for this so i don’t think there’s anything more i can tell you

Unknown Number (3:23 PM): you should ask him tho

Louis (3:24 PM): How can you just say that he cheated and then not provide any more context?

Unknown Number (3:24 PM): i’m sorry! all i can say is it was at a party over the summer and a lot of people witnessed/heard about it

Unknown Number (3:24 PM): good luck :(

Groaning, Louis put his phone down and stared blankly at his laptop screen. So much for starting this year on a good note.

₊˚⊹♡

Louis sat on the information he got for the next day or so, slowly feeling like he was losing his mind. How could he focus on anything else other than the fact that his boyfriend potentially cheated on him? The thing was, he didn’t want to be irrational and simply accept the word of this unknown person. He wanted to mull over it a bit and figure out what the right next move would be.

He looked through Theo’s Instagram page and tried to remember if he’d posted anything on his stories that were out of the ordinary over the summer, but nothing really popped out. There were only three posts from the summer — a photo dump from the family trip he took to Greece, a Fourth of July beach shot with fireworks in the background, and one of himself and Louis.

They weren’t joined at the hip like a lot of other couples were, so there was a lot that Louis probably didn’t know or see, nor did he ever think to ask, because, at the end of the day, he did trust Theo. That was why they tended to do their own things. The more Louis thought about it, the more he felt like he was getting in his head too much about this.

Sure, Theo and Louis had their differences at times, but they had mutual respect and feelings for each other. Theo wouldn’t cheat. Louis kept repeating those words to himself as he got dressed for the day and went to his classes. He couldn’t be bogged down by all of this when he was simultaneously trying to be at the top of the class. He had other things he needed to be focused on!

His efforts worked for the most part. He was only slightly distracted but managed to take good notes in all of his classes. Later that afternoon, when he was headed toward the boys' locker room for gym class, he noticed a few football players hanging out. Amongst them was Theo, laughing at whatever his teammate was telling him.

Louis’ steps slowed as he pursed his lips, trying to figure out what he should do. Maybe the way to go was ripping this whole thing off like a Band-Aid. Asking Theo directly and getting confirmation on what happened would end this weird dilemma he’d been in so Louis could move on from this whole mess.

Yeah, Louis thought to himself.

That seemed like a good plan.

Louis marched forward and tapped Theo on the shoulder, drawing his attention. His boyfriend’s face lit up upon seeing Louis. “Babe,” he greeted with a perfectly white smile, leaning in to kiss him on the lips. “What are you doing here?”

“I have gym class next,” Louis answered. “What about you?”

“I had a free period. We were just walking around campus and Harrison just got out of gym, so we came by to see him before next period.”

“Oh, I see,” Louis replied, glancing over at Theo’s friends. They were still engrossed in their conversation, so Louis placed his hand on Theo’s and led him to a quieter corner of the hall. “Actually, I am glad I bumped into you.”

“Did you miss me?” Theo grinned co*ckily.

“Yeah,” Louis nodded enthusiastically with a small smile. “I also wanted to talk to you.”

“Uh oh,” Theo joked. “Am I in trouble?”

“Well,” Louis’ voice trailed. “I don’t know. You might not be. It’s just that I got this weird text about you yesterday.”

“You did? From who?”

Louis sighed softly, wondering how he should phrase this. “I’m actually not sure. They never told me. It was an unknown number.”

“Ominous,” Theo nodded. “Tell me more.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal. I mean, I’m sure it’s probably all just a big misunderstanding,” he began.

“You can tell me, babe. What did the text say?”

Rip it off like a Band-Aid, Louis told himself.

“This person told me you cheated on me,” he replied, his words coming out in a rush as he chuckled nervously. “It’s ridiculous, right? But I just had to tell you. And I guess...ask you, too.”

“Cheat on you?” Theo tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing. “What the f*ck?”

“Right! That’s what I said.”

“Who the f*ck said this to you?” he asked.

“I really don’t know,” Louis answered. “I tried asking, but they wouldn’t tell me. They did mention that it happened at a party over the summer. And that a lot of people saw it happen.”

Theo scoffed, his chin jutted defiantly. “f*cking asshole.” His eyes met Louis’. “Not you...whoever this jackass is.”

“They said they were trying to help me because they thought it’d be wrong if I didn’t know.”

“Help you by trying to get in the middle of our relationship?” Theo asked. “Sounds like a load of bullsh*t. If I find out who did this, I’m going to f*cking kill them.”

Louis’ eyes widened at Theo’s anger and he placed a placating hand over Theo’s chest to calm him down. “It’s fine. I don’t even really believe them.”

“But you do a little bit?” Theo asked, raising his brows in question.

“I never said that,” Louis retorted. “I wanted to tell you about this so we could talk. You should know what people are saying about you.”

“I get it,” he said. “It’s just f*cking stupid.”

“What is?” Louis asked.

“This whole thing. Like someone really went out of their way to tell you that I cheated on you. Acting like some good samaritan when in reality they’re a sh*t-stirring idiot that needs to stay in their place and mind their business.”

“It’s fine. If it’s not true, it’s fine,” Louis said, his eyes flickering over Theo’s face and his indecipherable expression. “It’s not true, right?”

Theo broke their eye contact, his eyes glancing over to the side where his friends were standing. “I mean, there was a party. Last month in Maine. A bunch of the football guys got together and it got a bit out of hand, that’s all.”

“What?” Louis asked, his voice low.

“You know how these parties are, babe,” Theo said. “Too many Four Lokos and people doing crazy sh*t. You can trust me, though. It was nothing.”

For some reason, even as Theo tried reassuring Louis, he was doing the opposite. There was no firm denial of these cheating accusations. If anything, Theo was more or less admitting that something did happen at this party. Something that got a bit out of hand. Before Louis could ask him anything more, the bell rang, which meant Louis had less than five minutes to change and get to the gymnasium. This conversation would have to wait.

“I’ve got to go,” Louis said to Theo. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, of course,” he nodded. “But listen, babe. You can trust me, yeah?”

Louis didn’t respond as he made his way inside the locker room. He changed quickly and walked to the gymnasium where several students were gathered already, wearing their black shorts and forest green t-shirts with the Saint Augustine logo on them. This included Harry Styles and his co*cky crew of dipsh*ts. Louis recognized them as more of Theo and Harry’s football friends and suddenly, Louis was f*cking pissed.

He was so sick of these stupid football players and their stupid parties and their stupid presence everywhere he went. Rolling his eyes, he turned away from them and faced his gym teacher, Mrs. Owens. When the final bell rang, indicating the start of class, she blew her whistle to get everyone’s attention.

“Seniors,” she addressed, holding a clipboard against her stomach. “I know you’re all stressed about college applications, SATs, and whatnot, but we’re going to have a good year. We’ll be doing a mix of different sports and exercises to keep you all moving. You know me — you know the way I work. I’ve been teaching some of you since you were freshmen. I don’t expect perfection or star athletes. I just want some contribution and effort. We’ll start off today’s class with some track. Get your hearts pumping a bit. Half a mile to start. Let’s head outside for this one while the weather’s still nice.”

Mrs. Owens led the class outside where they gathered at the start of the track field.

“Alright,” she said. “This is not a race. I just want everyone to focus on keeping within their lane. Keep a steady pace and remember to control your breathing. Don’t need anyone passing out on me on the first day.”

The students began lining up, five of them in each running lane. Louis was at the front of his, where he stretched his legs while everyone else took their spots. Running would actually be so good for him right now. He could burn off this steam and aggravation that was building up inside of him. After this, he’d be able to have a more level-headed conversation with Theo when he was ready to do so.

Mrs. Owens blew her whistle again, and Louis took off, followed by the rest of his class. He pushed forward and didn’t care that his speed was increasing the further he went. He’d burn out a lot faster, but there was so much pent-up energy in him that he knew he’d make it to the end of the half-mile without having to stop or slow down. After a while, he left all of his classmates behind as he continued to run as fast as he could. He could barely hear anyone else other than his own breathing, but then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted brown curls.

Harry.

He was catching up quite quickly from what Louis could see as he continued to push forward. Louis smirked to himself. Mrs. Owens said this was not a race, but she never said they couldn’t make it one. Winning and making Harry lose would give him a boost, a rush, and a purpose to keep pushing himself even more.

He sped up, his legs kicking against the dirt on the ground. He grunted and pushed himself even harder when he saw Harry pick up his speed as well, joining him in this unspoken race. Louis could see the finish line and he kept going. With one final push, Louis rushed past the half-mile point and he breathed heavily while rolling over on the grass, trying to regulate his breathing.

Harry approached him, his hands on his knees as he watched Louis with an amused expression. Louis’ mind immediately flashed to those same green eyes watching him while they sat side by side by his pool. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Is everything a competition to you?” Harry asked.

“Don’t act like you hate it, Styles,” Louis said, his voice and breathing still unsteady. “I know it brings you the same thrill.”

Harry just laughed. “f*cking lunatic.”

Louis’ lips nearly twitched into a smile, but he repressed it. He and Harry still weren’t friends even if they’d spent time together that night after the Mayor’s soiree. It wasn’t like things were suddenly going to be different, but Louis had to admit that sometimes Harry was an idiot and not in a bad way.

₊˚⊹♡

Tonight was Mexican night in the dining hall. The meal staff had prepared an assortment of tacos, enchiladas, tamales, tortas, and more, all of which were Louis’ absolute favorites, but he couldn’t enjoy it. Instead, he was chewing Liam’s ear off and telling him about Theo potentially cheating on him while Liam scarfed down his food within minutes of them sitting at their table.

“He literally never f*cking denied it. He just danced around the answer like an idiot,” Louis ranted. “I feel like I asked him a simple yes or no question, you know? I wasn’t asking for an explanation. I wanted an answer.”

Liam nodded in agreement, finishing the last bite of his shrimp taco. His hazel eyes were sympathetic as he said, “Right.”

“Don’t you think that’s just shady?” Louis asked. “Don’t you think he’s being shady?”

“I mean, he does generally give off shady vibes, if I’m honest.”

Louis hummed softly in acknowledgment. “I know you’ve never been his biggest fan.”

“Because he’s arrogant,” Liam answered while reaching for one of Louis’ tacos on his plate. Louis flicked Liam’s hand away and he pouted his lips at his failed attempt at stealing Louis’ untouched dinner. “I’ve never liked the way he’s treated you.”

“Our fights aren’t just one-sided, though. I can admit that. Plus whenever we’ve fought, we’ve always worked it out after.”

“Still. Doesn’t it bother you that you guys have had so many problems within the short amount of time you’ve been together? You’ve been dating, what, less than a year?”

“Yeah,” Louis said, smiling meekly. “I get what you mean, but Theo’s good for me, I think. I’m comfortable with him and it’s like, if I’m with him then that’s one less thing I have to worry about.”

“What do you mean? Like you’re checking off ‘having a boyfriend’ from your life’s to-do list?”

“I guess...I don’t know.”

“Louis, you shouldn’t be thinking of this like that. That’s now how this works. There’s so much more to it and being comfortable with him doesn’t mean you should take some of the sh*t he’s put you through.”

“I know, but you know how he is.”

“Knowing how he is doesn’t excuse his behavior,” Liam commented pointedly. “Anyway, that’s beside the point. You should try talking to him again if you want to. I think it’s weird that this person you don’t know went out of their way to tell you this damning information that could ruin and end your relationship. On top of that, Theo refusing to fully answer whether or not he cheated is also strange.”

Slumping back in his seat, Louis grimaced. “I know. You’re right. I do need to talk to him again. It’s just annoying because I don’t want to have to deal with this.”

Liam arched an eyebrow. “Deal with your relationship?”

Louis huffed out a laugh. “No. Not like that. I just mean I want things to be okay so I can focus on my school work and not stress over whether I’m being cheated on.”

“That’s valid,” Liam agreed. “But relationships have ups and downs, and this is just a down. So, sadly, if you do want this relationship to work, you need to deal with it.”

“I guess,” Louis replied.

He picked up the taco Liam had tried to steal and took a large bite. If he was going to be having these difficult conversations, he should probably finish his food and fuel up his energy. Afterward, when they were both finished eating, they walked out of the dining hall together, heading toward the dormitories. On the way, Louis noticed Niall and Zayn, two of Harry’s close friends, pass by them in the opposite direction. He had shared classes with both of them over the years, but they’d never really spoken.

Upon seeing them now, Louis’ steps began to slow. Liam paused as well, looking at Louis quizzically.

“Give me a minute,” Louis said to him as he turned around and went after Niall and Zayn. “Hey, guys.”

It was Zayn who turned around first, eyeing Louis curiously. He nudged Niall to stop as Louis caught up to them.

“Hi,” Louis offered them a polite smile.

“Hey, Louis,” Niall greeted. He was smiling, but his eyes were narrowed in confusion. “What’s up, man?”

“Uh, not much. You guys good?” Louis asked.

“We’re good,” Zayn replied, smirking in amusem*nt. “Did you have dinner?”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded. “Liam and I just finished. We were headed back to the dorms. I, um, I was wondering if I could ask you something. This is probably really random, but maybe you could help me.”

“For sure,” Niall replied. “What do you need?”

Louis blinked in surprise, his lips forming an O. He hadn’t expected them to agree so readily and nicely. He’d always assumed that since he and Harry never got along his friends would, by association, dislike Louis as well, but Niall and Zayn must not be the type to do something like that.

“Were you guys at any parties over the summer with the football team?” he asked. “I know you’re not on the team, but you hang out with them a lot, right?”

Zayn lifted his shoulder as he chuckled. “I mean, not a lot. Mostly because of H. But yeah, there were a couple of parties over the summer.”

“Last month?”

“Yeah,” Niall replied.

“In Maine?” Louis confirmed.

Niall nodded slowly. “My family has a summer house there. I invited Zayn and Harry to stay with me for a week and one night we decided to throw a party. H invited some of the football boys and some local people.”

So that part checked out. Both Theo and the anonymous texter had mentioned this infamous party, but getting confirmation from Niall and Zayn was good.

“Why? What’s up?” asked Niall.

Taking a deep breath, Louis tried to focus on the task at hand and the conversation, but he could feel a lump forming in his throat. Whatever they were about to say could make or break his relationship. For some reason, the dread forming in his stomach made him think he already knew he wouldn’t like the outcome of this. He just had a feeling. But he couldn’t base his actions or his choices on those feelings. He had to know. He needed to ask. Rip it off like a Band-Aid.

“I’m not sure how I can ask this any other way but directly, but did Theo cheat on me?” Louis asked.

Both boys were stunned into silence, but there was something else in their expressions — uncertainty. But uncertainty about what? Whether Theo cheated or whether to tell Louis or not?

“Did he?” he repeated his question. “Please tell me.”

“I don’t know,” Zayn exhaled softly. “We really don’t want to get involved.”

“You won’t be,” Louis said. “I won’t tell anyone that you told me anything. I just need to know. Don’t you think I deserve to know?”

Niall swallowed visibly, scratching the back of his neck. “Why are you asking us this? Why not anyone else, or even Theo?”

“I’m not sure who else to ask,” Louis answered. “I’m in a weird position. I found out about this party because someone, who won’t tell me who they are, texted me and told me Theo cheated and that it happened at this party. And I asked Theo.”

“What did he say?” Niall questioned.

“He didn’t say much of anything,” Louis told him. “He told me about a party, but not if he cheated. Which is literally what I asked him. The guys on the football team are all his friends. I’m sure they won’t tell me. Plus, they don’t really talk to me, anyway, and I don’t know who else to ask because I’m not sure who exactly went. When I saw you two, I thought, maybe you guys would have been there and maybe you’d seen something.”

Zayn still looked unsure, his gaze trained on the ground as he scuffed his shoe against the concrete. Meanwhile, Niall’s face began turning red, and Louis could tell he was struggling with what he should do.

“I know we’re not friends,” Louis breathed out, rushed and desperate. “But I’d really appreciate it if you guys could tell me if there’s something I should know. I don’t really know what else to do. I mean — I can go and ask Theo again, but I don’t know if he’ll be honest.”

“If you can’t trust him to be honest with you, what’s the point of being with him?” Zayn asked. “I mean, that should be an answer enough, right?”

“True,” Louis nodded. “But I still think I should know. Don’t you?”

Niall exhaled, looking at Zayn for a moment, and they both seemed to telepathically communicate with each other just with their eyes. It was fascinating to watch as they nodded at each other at the same time before facing Louis.

“Okay,” Zayn said slowly. “We think you do deserve to know.”

Louis’ stomach began to sink already.

“We saw Theo kissing a girl at the party. She was a local from Maine,” Niall said to him, his voice quiet and solemn.

“Toward the end of the night, he took her to the guest room and they were in there for a couple of hours with the door closed,” Zayn added, giving Louis an apologetic look.

Louis breathed harshly through his nose, his voice shuddering as he said, “Okay.” He nodded a few times, trying to process this. “Thanks for, um, thanks for telling me.”

“Yeah. Like we said, you do deserve to know,” Niall said to him. “We just didn’t want to be the ones to tell you. It’s a lot, obviously.”

Louis’ brain was short-circuiting. His thoughts were processing so slowly and he really didn’t know what to say or do or how to react. It was a lot to take in now that two people had just confirmed it, and he found himself nodding over and over. And then he paused and frowned.

“Does Harry know?” he asked them.

Zayn’s brows lifted up his forehead. “Know about Theo hooking up with the girl?”

“Yeah.”

“He was at the party with us, so yeah, he saw it happen.”

Louis’ nostrils flared as he scoffed furiously. Of f*cking course Harry knew. He was probably gloating the entire time. f*cking dick.

“Thanks for telling me,” he replied. “I really appreciate it. I should, um, go. I’ve got some business to finish up.”

“Oh,” Niall’s eyes widened.

Turning around, Louis stormed toward the dormitories with Liam close on his heels. “Um, Lou. Do you want to talk about this?” his best friend asked, his voice unsteady as he struggled to keep up with Louis’ quick strides.

“Nope,” Louis bit out.

“Are you sure? Because I think you really should take a second to think about this. Process what you just learned, and I don’t know, take some calming breaths.”

“I’ve thought about it, alright,” Louis laughed maniacally. “I know exactly what to do.”

Within minutes he reached Theo’s dorm. He rushed past the front doors and took the elevator up to the fourth floor. He wasn’t even sure if Theo was in there or not. They hadn’t spoken since Louis ran into him outside of the locker rooms, but when he knocked on his door, Theo answered, his boxers slung low on his hips. He rested his forearm on the doorframe, grinning lazily at Louis.

“Hey, babe,” he said.

“We’re done,” Louis smiled, his voice saccharine, but full of bite. “I’m breaking up with you.”

Theo blinked in confusion, his eyes jockeying between Louis and Liam behind him. “What? What are you talking about?”

“You and I,” Louis said slowly, his pointer finger gesturing between the two of them. “We are done.”

“Why?” Theo floundered, his eyes wide and shocked. “Is this about that f*cking text?”

“No, babe. It’s about you cheating on me and then trying to lie to me about it. Do you think I’m f*cking stupid, Theo? Did you think I’d never find out?”

“You’re completely blowing this out of proportion,” Theo tried explaining. “Let’s sit inside and talk this out properly.”

“I’m done f*cking talking with you, Theo,” Louis hissed, his eyes fiery as they met Theo’s. “You’re a disgrace of a boyfriend. Spineless, disloyal, traitorous piece of sh*t.”

“Louis —”

“Don’t talk to me anymore. We are f*cking through!”

“What’s your proof?” Theo demanded.

“Don’t worry about it,” Louis said, tilting his head to the side as he began backing away from him. “I know enough. This was the last straw.”

He didn’t stick around to hear Theo’s response as he whirled around and headed back toward the elevator.

₊˚⊹♡

Louis allowed himself exactly one night to get over the breakup. He knew, realistically, that he couldn’t move on from Theo and their relationship overnight, but what he could do was not mope over a sorry, pathetic, cheating ass loser. Louis had more going on in his life. He had other things to worry about. Like the amount of homework and studying that had piled up because Louis was busy trying to find out the truth about Theo. He needed to get it together.

The morning after the breakup, he woke up, still a bit groggy from staying up and crying into his pillow, but ready to take on the day.

Louis pulled on his uniform, styled his hair to perfection, and walked out of his dorm to go to his favorite courtyard to get cracking on his work. He’d missed breakfast at the dining hall so he packed two granola bars in his book bag along with a thermos full of hot English tea. The sun shining down on his face made him smile. This day would be good. He was sure of it. He was not going to let anyone ruin that. Not his stupid douchebag ex, or the curly-headed moron that was headed toward Louis’ favorite table in the courtyard from the opposite direction.

Harry’s eyes met Louis’ and Louis swore he saw them sparkle mischievously. f*ck that. Louis began jogging toward the table. He was close and he could make it before Harry. But then Harry upped his speed as well, his long legs closing the distance quicker than Louis would like. Huffing out an aggravated breath, Louis sprinted toward the table this time, and he didn’t see that Harry did so as well. The two of them reached at the same time, slamming their palms over the concrete top across from each other.

“Get your hands off,” Louis sniped. “I got here first.”

“No, I did,” Harry retorted. “You may have beat me in gym class the other day, but I won today.”

Louis took a deep, shuddering breath to steel himself. “There are, like, four other tables here. Pick any of them. I want this one. It’s mine.”

“You don’t own this table, Louis,” Harry pointed out, pinning him with an incredulous look. “I don’t see your name written on it. It’s first come, first serve.”

He groaned out loud. “I don’t have the f*cking time to argue with you! What are you doing here anyway?”

Harry’s lips curved into an amused smirk. “I just felt like coming here. I can do that, you know? I go to this school, too.”

“Unfortunately, as true as that is, I need you to go away right now,” Louis muttered, settling down on the bench and taking out his books. “I mean, it’s bad enough that I have to stare at you all day in classes, but now you —”

“You stare at me in classes?” Harry grinned, looking much too pleased at the comment.

Louis glared. “Not like that, you dick.”

“In what way do you stare at me then?” Harry asked, propping his hip against the table and crossing his arms over his chest as though he was settling in for a chat.

“I don’t stare at you.”

“You just said —”

“Harry,” Louis cut in. “Can you do me a favor and piss off?”

Harry gave him a pointed look. “What’s your damage, dude? Why are you so pissed?”

“In case you didn’t notice, I’m always pissed at you,” Louis snapped with an eye roll as he began opening up his planner.

“Is there a reason for it right now?”

“I don’t need one. Your mere presence is enough.”

“God,” Harry cackled. “You’re such a f*cking dick.”

To Louis’ dismay, instead of pissing off like Louis told him to, Harry plopped down on the bench across from him, watching him curiously. “So you’re pissed off that I’m alive and breathing. And you’re pissed because I tried to sit at your favorite table.”

“Correct,” Louis replied primly as he highlighted the assignments he wanted to get done today in his planner. His English assignment would have to be the first thing because that would take the longest to complete. Mr. Reynolds gave them a thick packet of questions to answer on their first book of the semester — Frankenstein by Mary Shelley.

Harry watched him quietly as he took his copy of the book out along with the packet they were given in class. Louis hated that he was there. Harry was such an annoying distraction. Maybe he’d go away if Louis ignored his presence altogether. Then again, that was unlikely because Harry was a weirdo who never knew when to quit.

“Don’t you ever get tired of studying?” Harry asked.

Louis’ blue eyes flickered to Harry as he shot him an unimpressed look. “Why are you still here? I literally asked you to leave.”

“I’ll leave, but only if you tell me what your obsession with studying is. I know you know the material well, but you are always pulling all-nighters anyway and you have your nose in a textbook whenever I see you. That’s just not healthy. One of these days, you’ll literally crack.”

“Careful, Styles,” Louis told him. “You’ll trick me into believing you actually care.”

A crease formed between Harry’s brows. “I do care.”

“You don’t f*cking care, Harry,” Louis shot back. “So don’t pretend like you do.”

“Okay, you need to tell me what you’re so pissed about,” Harry said, his expression turning angry. “What did I do? We were just fine yesterday.”

“You and I are never going to be fine,” Louis replied. “It’s time you realize that. You do f*cked up sh*t and then you expect us to be fine? Wake up, Harry. We’re not friends!”

“I know we’re not friends, but you’re being a complete asshole right now. More so than you usually are.”

“Maybe because you knew that my boyfriend cheated on me and you never bothered to tell me,” Louis shouted, his eyes fiery as they locked with Harry’s.

Harry’s eyes widened and his lips parted slowly. “What does that have to do with me? It’s not like I told him to cheat on you.”

“That’s not the point. You knew. You saw it happen and you didn’t think to tell me! But then you want me to believe you care about me? Get real.”

“It’s literally not my business to tell you something like that.”

“Oh, but you made it your business to tell me repeatedly that Theo and I had an unhealthy relationship,” Louis scoffed wryly. “You told me that I’m bored with him. That he’s bored with me. That I should break up with him. That he’s not giving me what I need. You made it your business then, Harry!”

“That’s hardly the same and —”

“I don’t f*cking care. It’s the principle of it. I thought you’d at least have the decency —”

“Can you listen to me for a second?” he reasoned.

“I’d listen to you if you actually made a point for once,” Louis harshly replied. “But I don’t give a f*ck what you have to say now.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry pleaded suddenly, his deep green eyes imploring as he looked at Louis. “You’re right. I should have told you, but I really thought it wasn’t my place.”

“You’re not sorry,” Louis shook his head. “You’re only sorry because I called you on it. I don’t want some half-assed apology from you. But you can’t sit here and tell me you care about me when you left me in the dark about what happened at that party. You literally didn’t tell me because you were protecting your boy and I see your loyalties lie with him.”

Harry’s expression softened considerably. “I didn’t know that you would even want me to do something like that.”

Louis shrugged. “I don’t care anymore. Theo and I are done. Now, can you please leave? I’ve had a really sh*tty couple of days and I’m going to lose my mind if I’m behind because of all of this.”

Without glancing up at him again, Louis got back to his work. Surprisingly, Harry listened. He slowly got up from the bench and walked away, finally leaving Louis to his work.

₊˚⊹♡

“So this guy stole the key to the gymnasium’s basem*nt and the P.E. Department has no clue?” Louis clarified as he followed Liam and Clara toward the aforementioned destination.

Liam chuckled. “That’s what I was told,” he replied.

“No,” Clara shook her head, her auburn curls twirling from side to side. “I was there when Devon invited you, remember? He told us his friend Callum is on the soccer team and he was tasked with cleaning up the equipment downstairs. They gave him the key to do it over the weekend and he and his friends decided to throw a party.”

Louis frowned as he walked past the gym doors, the hall clear of students or faculty since it was a Saturday night. “Why does he have to clean up the equipment in the basem*nt?”

“He got over ten demerits because he keeps missing practice. It’s a part of his detention-slash-punishment,” she explained. “He did clean it to make space for the party, but he’s going to have to clean it again after the party.”

Louis had no doubt about that. When they reached the basem*nt it was packed full of students of all grade levels and everyone was drinking, socializing, and dancing. Teenagers equipped with alcohol and all of their raging hormones and angst were a recipe for disaster. Once again, how they all got away with this was beyond him. Sure, the faculty living quarters was a good ways away from the school grounds, but the nighttime and weekend security were employed for this specific reason.

As they weaved through the crowd to find a nice little corner of their own, Louis wished he was back in his dorm, tucked into bed with a thick book to devour. While he liked the occasional bonfire, that was a different atmosphere than whatever was happening here. Everyone was more aware and attuned to their surroundings within enclosed spaces. People were more prone to gossip, and Louis and Theo were the prime topic of their campus this past week. For whatever reason, everyone had an opinion on their split and Louis found it so embarrassing. To be known as the guy who got cheated on wasn’t a very pleasant feeling.

He’d have one drink and then maybe call it a night, but he felt bad because he knew if he decided to leave, Liam and Clara would leave, too. They were really good friends and never wanted him to be alone, even if that meant skipping out on a fun party on a Saturday night. Unlike Louis, Liam and Clara had a lot of other friends, whereas Louis felt like he was always on the outside listening in on the greatest inside joke. He couldn’t find common ground with the majority of his classmates because they found him intense and strange. Admittedly, Louis wasn’t exactly the friendliest; he could try more, but the thought of putting in that effort only to inevitably humiliate himself wasn’t something he was interested in doing.

“You want anything to drink, Louis?” Liam asked him.

“I’m alright,” Louis shook his head.

“Okay, be right back.” Liam excused himself, working his way through the crowd to get himself and Clara drinks.

Clara nudged him while her eyes scanned the crowded room. “Isn’t that Theo?” she asked.

Louis surreptitiously looked in the direction she was conspicuously gesturing to and watched as his ex-boyfriend sauntered into the party, hair mussed up in a way that made Louis’ heart ache.

It sucked. This whole thing sucked. As much as he was moving on from the situation, seeing Theo didn’t make it easier because Louis was then reminded of how cute he was and how thoroughly he f*cked it all up for both of them. Louis scowled as he looked away. So much for having fun. How much fun could Louis have with Theo looming around? It didn’t help that he was the confrontational type and would probably try to engage with Louis. After all, Louis had been ignoring him for days, not allowing him a chance to try and weasel his way back into Louis’ good graces. Not that there was a chance of that.

“You know we can leave, Louis,” Clara said, her eyes wide with concern. “I know this must not be easy for you.”

“No, no,” Louis shook his head. “I know you guys were looking forward to being here.”

“It’s fine. It’s just a party,” Clara waved off. “We’ll have plenty more of these.”

“I’m really fine. Don’t worry,” he reassured.

Smiling, she gave him a half-hug. “You’re so strong.”

Louis chuckled, embarrassed as he shook his head. “Honestly, it’s nothing. People end relationships all the time.”

“Yeah, but you were close to him, weren’t you? You stayed with him and met his family.”

“I did,” Louis admitted. “But it’s all good. I do wish I could meet his family one more time, especially his mom, to tell them how much Theo sucks. They love him and boast about him all the time. Constantly talking about how proud they are of him. If they only knew how much of a dickhe*d he really is.”

Clara giggled as Liam returned, holding two red cups filled with beer. He handed one to Clara and smiled at Louis. “The girls by the drinks table were talking sh*t about Theo.”

“Saying what?” Louis quirked an eyebrow.

“Just how much of a dog he is for cheating. It’s not looking good for him.”

Louis hummed, feeling pleased by that bit of news. Perhaps tonight wasn’t going to be that bad. The three of them chatted for a while and all seemed pretty standard, but then Louis saw something out of the corner of his eye that piqued his interest. Harry and Theo chatting in a quiet corner, both looking heated. What could they be talking about? Louis wanted to know but wasn’t sure how to find out.

No matter. It was probably about something dumb about football. He decided to just ignore them and turned back to the conversation as Clara told Liam and him about her parents’ antique shop and all the strange customers that came by. After a while, Louis walked away from the two of them to grab a soft drink. He didn’t want to drink any alcohol tonight. His tolerance was sh*t and he didn’t feel like waking up with a headache the next morning. Halfway there, someone intercepted him and Louis shifted back to see it was Theo.

“Lou,” he breathed out. “We need to talk.”

“No,” Louis shook his head, trying to move around him. “Theo, get out of my way.”

“Not until we talk!”

“I don’t want to talk to you. Especially not here. Are you crazy? Why are you trying to cause a scene?”

“I’m not the crazy one,” Theo belligerently responded. “You are! You’re believing strangers over your own boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Louis reminded him. “In case you forgot, I broke up with you. And don’t gaslight me. You, more or less, confirmed that you cheated.”

“I didn’t do sh*t!” he nearly screamed, throwing his long arms up in the air. “You’re literally being so impulsive about this. Let’s just talk.”

“I did try to talk with you and you brushed it off,” Louis reminded him. “Did you forget?”

“Louis!” Theo groaned. “I’m f*cking trying here. Please work with me.”

As Louis’ eyes flickered around the room, he could tell they’d formed an audience. He’d had a feeling something like this would happen. He felt so ashamed, he wanted to be swallowed up by the ground and disappear completely. Seeing as how that wasn’t an option, Louis knew there was no point in trying to salvage this. If Theo wanted to have it out in public like this, then so be it. Louis would gladly give it to him.

“Did you, or did you not, cheat on me when you were in Maine with all of your football friends?” Louis asked. Theo’s mouth opened to immediately argue, but Louis shook his head, stopping him. “Be careful what you say. Everyone’s here and if you lie, they will know and so will I.”

Being reminded of that fact seemed to still Theo, whose mouth promptly shut, lips pressed into a thin line. What Louis asked him was, once again, a simple question. He could say no and just deny it if that was what he was claiming, but never once did Theo say he didn’t cheat. All he did was dance around the question, making Louis feel like he was the one who was going insane. He’d had enough of him and all of his stupid lies.

“Like I said, Theo,” Louis smiled sweetly. “We’re done. You f*cked it up. I let so much slide with you. Your constant nagging, your stupid, f*cked up ego, and your nauseating narcissism. Now I won’t have to deal with your sh*t anymore.”

“Do you think it was easy being in a relationship with you?” Theo snarled, his expression morphing into pure rage. His whole face was flushed red, the blush trailing down his neck. “I only nagged because you had a constant stick up your ass and always felt the need to argue with me about everything. You can never take a f*cking joke and you’re so f*cking anal about the most stupid sh*t. Not to mention your prudish behavior. You could never get me off. You’re not good for anything. I could be with so many other amazing people who can give me what I need, but I did you a favor by being with you.”

His words filled with vitriol hit Louis like fire. He swallowed, keeping his expression steady even though he wanted to fight and argue and crumple and fall apart. But he didn’t want this room of people seeing him like that. Theo’s words were harsh and they were cruel and they felt like salt in every single one of Louis’ wounds, but Louis was going to act stronger than that. He wasn’t going to let them think he was phased by a whiny little momma’s boy who’d never heard the word “no”.

Fixing Theo with his steely, blue eyes, Louis readied himself to respond and get the last word, but suddenly, Harry appeared between them. Louis blinked in surprise, watching as Harry aggressively spoke into Theo’s ear and backed him up and away from Louis. Before he could do anything else, he heard someone calling him from behind.

Turning around, Louis was met with the sight of his two friends. They put their arms around him and led him away from the crowd and back to their little spot.

“Are you okay?” Clara asked. “He was so out of line for that. I’m so sorry he said those things.”

“Clara, it’s not your fault,” Louis shook his head. “He did that all on his own.”

“Yeah, but I know you didn’t want to come, and we asked you to. I just feel responsible.”

“Please don’t,” Louis told her, putting an arm around her in reassurance. “It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” Liam asked. “I don’t think any of what he said was okay. I’m inclined to believe no one else in the room did, either.”

Louis nodded, his movements poised and collected. “I’m sure. I don’t care about him enough to let him get to me.”

If Liam and Clara didn’t believe him, they didn’t let on. Instead, they nodded despite looking unsure. Maybe Louis’ friends knew him better than he gave them credit for. Maybe they saw through his facade. While he was calm on the outside, inside he was raging with anger and also heartbroken that someone he had once cared deeply for would do something like that to him. He wanted to unleash all hell on Theo for speaking to him like that in front of everyone, but he couldn’t do that, no matter how much he wanted to.

As time passed and the party continued, everyone seemed to have forgotten what had gone down. The music turned up just a bit more and people were back to being in a jolly mood now that the drama had unfolded. Louis watched with disinterest as his classmates danced to upbeat pop music and he wondered if now would be a good time to leave. He didn’t want to do it so soon after Theo’s scene because he didn’t want to give anyone the impression that he was running away. He decided to stick it out a bit longer and even accepted the beer Liam handed him. He needed it.

“You guys want to play Truth or Dare?”

A guy Louis had seen around campus here and there had approached them, arm draping over Liam’s shoulders. Louis assumed it was one of his friends. Liam, for whatever reason, looked to Louis for the answer and Louis just shrugged. He wasn’t sure what Clara and Liam wanted to do, but he felt put on the spot.

“Um, okay,” Louis replied after clearing his throat unsurely.

“Sick,” the guy grinned, leading them toward a large circle of people.

At first glance, Louis spotted Theo sulking in one corner of the group, while Harry stood with Niall and Zayn with a glum, stoic expression on his face. Louis’ thoughts drifted back to the way Harry had basically pushed Theo away from Louis. He wondered what he’d said to Theo to get him to back off. More importantly, he wondered why Harry even did that. Wasn’t he supposedly on Theo’s side? It could be that he felt guilty about not telling Louis in the first place.

Whatever it was, it was all too much and Louis just wanted to leave. He was attempting to not be a total buzzkill for his friends but for f*ck’s sake. Being faced with all of these people was really grating on his nerves. He quickly downed his cup and sighed as the game began.

It was mostly the usual sh*t. People daring others to kiss and asking them to reveal truths about situations Louis had no knowledge of. He was thinking he’d get away without having to be involved in the game, but then this girl in Louis’ English class from last year looked at him with a small smile on her face.

“Louis, truth or dare?” she asked.

“Truth,” Louis replied, only hesitating a little. He didn’t want to get involved in any dares because he didn’t trust any of them.

“Why do you hate Harry and is it true that you secretly have a crush on him?”

Of all the questions, Louis didn’t expect that one. He was thinking she’d ask him about Theo and the cheating scandal. He eyed Harry across from him looking just as confused as he felt, but their peers didn’t feel the same way. In fact, they all looked much too excited at Louis having to answer this question.

“I thought it was just supposed to be one question,” said Louis, giving her a pointed look.

“Yeah, but they kind of go hand in hand,” she said, giggling. “Everyone thinks you guys fight because you secretly want each other.”

Louis nearly barked out a laugh. People were so unoriginal. Who in their right mind still believed that if someone was mean to you that meant they secretly liked you? That was some amateur grade school sh*t. Plus, most times, that wasn’t a thing that actually happened, especially not with Louis and Harry. He gave her a bored, unimpressed look.

“No, I don’t secretly have a crush on him.”

“Sure,” one of the guys in the group sarcastically said, making those around him titter with laughter. “Seems like a lot of sexual tension, if you ask me.”

“Well, I didn’t ask you,” Louis retorted.

His eyes skated over to Theo, who was watching the exchange carefully. There was a gleam in his eyes that Louis didn’t like. Almost like he was up to something.

“Can you guys drop it?” Harry asked, looking around at the crowd. “Let’s move on.”

“I agree,” Theo spoke up. “I think it’s my turn next. And I dare Louis and Harry to kiss.”

The group, which was otherwise loud and boisterous, suddenly grew quiet. Everyone’s wide, shocked eyes trailed from Theo’s sinister smirk to Harry’s furious glare to Louis’ stoic faux indifference.

Of course, Theo wouldn’t let this end. Despite being able to get the last word, thanks to Harry, he really f*cking thought he could keep going. Keep coming for Louis when Louis was the one who was wronged. How could Louis have stayed with someone like that? Someone so f*cked up and immoral. All he was seeing now was red. He wanted Theo to eat his words and choke on them.

“That’s not how this game works. I just did a turn,” Louis said to him heatedly.

“I don’t care about the rules. Just say you’re not going to do it because you can’t,” Theo continued with a smarmy grin. “You’re a complete prude.”

“Theo, can you shut the f*ck up for once?” Harry snapped, flashing him a furious look.

“Don’t worry, dude,” Theo said to him. “I know you don’t want to go anywhere near him considering he’s always been a colossal dick to you. I wouldn’t do you dirty like that. I’ve got your back. I’m only riling Louis up so he’d f*cking realize how much he doesn’t belong here. He’d never go for it.”

Harry groaned out loud as he ran his hands over his face. “For f*ck’s sake.”

Surprising everyone, Louis stepped forward, watching Theo to see his smile morph into a frown.

“Louis,” Harry said to him, stepping forward and meeting him in the middle of the circle. “Ignore him. He’s a f*cking idiot. Davie told me he had a lot to drink. That’s why he’s acting like this.”

“You don’t need to defend him,” Louis said.

“I’m not defending him. I’m just saying you don’t need to listen to his stupid sh*t. He’s being an asshole.”

“You care now?” Louis asked, tilting his head up to fix Harry with a frown.

“I always did,” Harry whispered to him.

His frown deepened and he shook his head. He had no idea what Harry meant, but he was too f*cking distracted by the way Theo was watching them.

“Get on with it, then,” Theo taunted. “Unless you’re just going to fake out.”

Louis took another step closer to Harry, watching his green eyes widen. “What are you doing?” Harry hissed to him. “Don’t give him the satisfaction of getting to tell you what to do.”

“He’s your friend!”

“I’m literally standing up for you right now.”

“I never asked you to. I bet you’re all going to laugh about this whole sh*t show in the locker room tomorrow.”

“Louis,” Harry pressed, his voice low. “I’m on your side.”

“Fine, then kiss me,” Louis leveled with him. “Help me get back at him.”

“Are you insane?”

“Are you saying you don’t want to?” Louis asked, arching a brow.

“I’m not saying that.”

“Then kiss me.”

Harry let out a loud, frustrated growl before grabbing Louis by the hips and pulling him flush against his body. The moment their lips touched, a soft whimper rose out of Louis. He was really going to sell this kiss. That was the whole point of it. It wasn’t only about proving to everyone that he wasn’t a prude. It was about getting back at Theo, too. Not just for cheating on him, but also for publicly ridiculing him. And what better way to get back at him than by kissing his friend?

Louis shoved his fingers through Harry’s curls, tugging on them as their lips brushed over and over, almost like they were testing the waters and getting a feel for each other first. But it was still too tame. He sucked on Harry’s lower lip, taking the lead on the kiss, and moaned into his mouth. When he drew back, he roughly grazed his teeth over Harry’s lip, making the other boy gasp. Louis smiled.

As much as he didn’t want to admit this, Harry was, unfortunately, a very good kisser. He kissed confidently just like everything else he did. As his lips parted for Louis, Louis’ tongue brushed against his bottom lip and skimmed into Harry’s mouth tentatively. He tasted like spearmint. Sweet and sharp.

It felt strikingly and unexpectedly good. Louis felt a swoop in his stomach and wondered what would happen if he let Harry lead the kiss. How it would feel to just surrender for a second. He allowed Harry’s tongue to brush against his, the movements unhurried and surprisingly sensual. Louis hated how much he wanted to give in. To let Harry take over. Louis’ back arched to shift closer while Harry’s fingers leisurely traced patterns over the small of Louis’ back, holding him steady. He deepened the kiss into something slow and lazy, making Louis’ stomach curl deliciously.

Within seconds he forgot why they were kissing. Instead, the only thing running through his mind was more, more, more. His heartbeat sped up and his breathing grew shallow as he kissed Harry back with fervor. While he liked that Harry was taking his time and savoring it, Louis was desperate for more. He wound his arms around Harry, tugging him down to his height. His palms rested over Harry’s jaw as he licked into his mouth like he was starved for him. For the spearmint taste that he’d long associated with Harry.

Lost in the kiss, he was momentarily confused when he heard people whooping and clapping. And then it hit him.

There was, in fact, an audience, full of people who knew them and thought of them as enemies. God, what was he doing? Louis drew back, gasping for air, as he wrenched himself free from Harry’s grip. Harry looked just as lost and out of it as he gathered his bearings, fingers tugging at his curls.

Louis swallowed thickly as he shifted his gaze to Theo, who was looking at the two of them with pure rage in his eyes. He was so mad that his plan was foiled. He never expected Louis or Harry to actually go through with it. What he wanted was to embarrass Louis further than he already had tonight, but now it was Theo who looked stupid.

Smirking, Louis approached him. “I’m so glad we’re done, Theo,” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear. “I can finally stop putting up with all of your sh*t. Maybe the reason why I never wanted to hook up with you was because I didn’t want you like that no matter how many times you showed up at my dorm and begged me. Well, that and your unwashed asshole. Sorry, it took you this long to realize I’m not attracted to you or your ugly personality. It’s just a shame I wasted so much time trying to make this work when you didn’t deserve any of that. I feel sorry for whoever you end up with next because they won’t know how foul and cruel of a boyfriend you are.”

“You’re literally a —”

“f*ck you, Theo,” Louis spat. “Try to talk to me again, and I’ll report you.”

He turned around and began walking toward the door to leave the party. He was officially done here. Clara and Liam followed, the three of them not saying a word until they walked out of the gymnasium. Once they got outside, Louis turned to look at them with wide, shocked eyes.

“Did you just...” Liam trailed off.

“Kiss my mortal enemy?” Louis asked with a nervous chuckle. “Yeah...yeah, I did.”

Chapter 4: 4 | HARRY

Chapter Text

Harry had kissed a lot of people in his eighteen years.

Some were great, some were alright, and some were less than memorable, but he still enjoyed the experience. However, none left him quite as affected as kissing Louis had.

The whole thing was really unexpected. It wasn’t that Harry thought of Louis as a prude like Theo did, but he did believe Louis had reservations about the way he conducted himself in public. Harry knew that had a lot to do with his family and who he was, and it was fine, really. He definitely didn’t judge Louis for not being into the whole hook-up culture. So kissing Harry was entirely out of character for the other boy. When he really thought about it, Harry wasn’t even sure why Louis was playing truth or dare with a group of people he barely knew to begin with, or why Theo would dare Harry to kiss his ex-boyfriend right in front of him and everyone else at that party.

Everything about it was so bizarre, and Harry was dazed as he left the party while Niall and Zayn trailed behind him. He was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn’t even realize Zayn was speaking to him until he clapped Harry on the shoulder with an amused grin on his face.

“Hm?” Harry hummed, meeting Zayn’s eyes.

“I asked if you were good,” Zayn repeated. “You seem a bit distracted.”

“I’m alright,” said Harry, giving him a small, reassuring smile. “Just tired is all.”

“Tired or thinking about a certain rival of yours?” Niall asked, waggling his eyebrows as he nudged Harry playfully.

Harry shoved him off with an eye roll. “Shut up, Niall.”

“You are thinking about him, aren’t you?” Niall cried, laughing as he threw his head back. “I mean, I don’t blame you. It looked like a steamy kiss.”

Embarrassingly enough, Harry’s cheeks warmed with color. Steamy was one way to describe it. It stunned him how this one kiss altered so much of the way he thought about Louis. How this one kiss felt like none of the kisses Harry had experienced in his life thus far. Suddenly, he couldn’t remember any of them now that he’d kissed Louis. His head was a mess. He had no idea why he was thinking this way, and that too about a guy who he’d never gotten along with. What was weirder was that Harry had never even thought about kissing Louis before.

Well.

Okay.

That wasn’t entirely true.

There were times when they were both exchanging heated words and insults, arguing about something meaningless. Harry would watch Louis’ lips, studying the way the bottom one was fuller than the top. How sometimes it was a light shade of pink and other times it darkened when he was cold. Louis’ words were designed to hurt him, but the idea of covering that mouth with his own to shut him up would cross Harry’s mind fleetingly. It was never enough to give it a second thought.

“I’m glad Louis stood up for himself,” Zayn commented. “Theo needed to be put in his place.”

Harry nodded his head in agreement, his forehead creasing as he remembered the cruelty of the words Theo threw at Louis. He’d never seen this side of Theo. Locker room talk could get rowdy at times and boys were boys, or whatever the f*ck people said, but Harry was appalled tonight. He hoped Louis was doing okay after all of that. He really put up such a strong appearance in front of everyone. Harry didn’t think he even saw Louis flinch. How he did that was beyond Harry. Louis was a complete fascination to him. Sometimes he did things that took Harry by surprise and then other times, he was so easy to read. Like the way he’d taken charge when they kissed was sexy, but so like him. However, toward the end, he definitely let Harry take over a little bit. The sounds he made and his sharp teeth biting Harry’s lip were so f*cking ho—

f*ck. He really needed to get a grip.

“Have you spoken to him at all?” Zayn asked, directing his question at Harry and snapping him out of his dirty thoughts.

“To who?”

“Theo,” Zayn reminded him.

“Oh. Yeah. Just a bit,” Harry replied. “Earlier on in the party, he had approached Louis to try and speak with him, but he was being super obnoxious about it even though Louis was saying he wasn’t comfortable talking to him there in front of everyone. I interjected and pushed him away. Told him he needed to calm down and back off.”

“And he listened?” Niall raised his brow.

“Not at first. So then I said something about people reporting us to the dean for getting drunk at these parties,” Harry shrugged. “Wanted to scare him a bit so he’d relax. I know football means a lot to him, so that was the first thing I could think of. And it actually worked. He listened up until the truth or dare game.”

“Did he tell you anything about the breakup?” Zayn inquired. “There’s been a lot of crazy stories floating around like Louis dumping him via text. There’s another one where people are claiming there’s a sex tape and that’s how Louis found out.”

“I only know that Louis showed up at his dorm and dumped him,” said Harry, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger as he tried to remember details. “That’s what he said. I also don’t think they really spoke about it. Once you guys told Louis about him cheating, Louis pretty much nipped it in the bud right away.”

Both Zayn and Niall looked a bit weary as they listened to him. It was uncomfortable for them to have been the bearer of bad news like that, but Harry was glad they helped Louis. Honestly speaking, it should have come from him. Louis was right in getting upset with him about that. As much as they weren’t friends, there was still this understanding between them. And they fought, but that was somehow separate from this strange kinship they’d formed. Like Zayn and Niall, Harry was uncomfortable with having the knowledge of Theo cheating. In fact, as far as Harry knew, a lot of the guys on the football team felt that way.

When it was happening at the party, everyone had similar looks of disbelief on their faces. No one really knew what to say and no one dared to interject. The party in Maine wasn’t even supposed to be a huge deal, but it had somehow gotten out of control. The whole house was packed with people and everyone was beyond inebriated. Still, being drunk wasn’t an excuse to cheat on your boyfriend. Harry wanted to say he was shocked by how slimy Theo acted with all those girls who had come to the party, but a part of him wasn’t. Something about Theo just exuded the wrong vibes. He was kind of a walking red flag, hidden beneath that all-American boy charm.

At the time, Harry genuinely believed that karma would handle it. Things tended to come out in the most unexpected ways, and in a way, it did. He heard from Niall and Zayn that Louis received anonymous texts from someone who told him about the cheating. Harry didn’t know who could have sent those texts. He’d never bothered to find out because at least they were brave enough to pass on the message, unlike the rest of them. Harry had figured that if he got involved and told Louis something like that, it would make him look like the bad guy. Why would Louis trust him? He could very well assume that Harry was only trying to get in the middle of his relationship. The messenger always got shot. Everyone knew that. Plus, what if him telling Louis had only made him hate Harry more than he already did?

Funnily enough, that ended up happening anyway. Harry was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t.

“I just think it sucks how Theo did all of that,” Harry lamented to the boys. “What exactly did he want to accomplish? He told me that, at some point, he wanted to get back together with Louis. Does he think Louis would take him back after the sh*t he pulled tonight?”

“But why get back together?” Niall asked. “Based on the things they said to each other tonight, it didn’t look like they were very good together.”

“I know what you mean,” Harry agreed. “I think that Theo has genuine feelings for him, but sometimes I don’t think that’s enough. Either way, he pretty much shot himself in the foot. Louis won’t be going near him with a ten-foot pole.”

Zayn laughed, eyes crinkling at the sides. “He was so messy. It was hard to watch.”

“People will definitely be talking about this for a few days.”

“What about you, though?” Zayn asked.

Harry peered over at him. “What about me?”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” Harry shrugged. “A little taken aback, but okay.”

“Do you think this kiss changes things for you and Louis? I mean — do you still feel the same level of animosity toward him?”

“It’s hard to tell. Sometimes I can’t stand him and other times I’m very intrigued by him.”

“But the kiss. Tell us about the kiss,” Niall insisted.

Harry shook his head, trying not to smile while his friends tittered in amusem*nt. “The kiss was great. Why lie?”

“Oh sh*t,” Niall crowed.

“But that doesn’t mean anything,” Harry added. “Louis all but ran away after kissing me. I’m sure it meant nothing to him. He just wanted to get back at Theo.”

“And are you good with that?” Zayn asked.

Harry lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “Like I said...it was a great kiss and I enjoyed it. I just don’t want to get in my head about it.”

As he said those words, he knew it was already too late.

That kiss was the only thing on his mind.

₊˚⊹♡

The sun beat down on Harry, a comforting warmth enveloping him, as he walked across the grassy field of their campus. Since it was another perfect, warm Autumn day, Mrs. Owens brought their gym class outside for a rousing game of soccer. To warm up, she had them pair up and practice dribbling, passes, and shooting penalties. Harry was working with his friend Paulie, but his eyes kept drifting over to Louis who was a short distance away, practicing with their classmate, Oli.

It had been a week since the party — since that mind-consuming kiss. Harry had thought nothing would change over a silly game of truth or dare, but he’d secretly hoped that everything would change and, in a way, it did. This entire week, Louis had ignored him. He didn’t glance Harry’s way, he didn’t talk to him, not even to insult him. It was jarring. Harry knew it was weird to seek attention from the guy who he was supposed to hate, but the lack of acknowledgement was really bugging him.

The realization that Harry would rather Louis chew him out over something silly than act indifferent toward him was interesting. He tried to understand why. Why did he hate when Louis wasn’t paying attention to him? Could it be that Harry wasn’t used to people hooking up with him in any capacity and not immediately falling for his charm? He was always told he was a good kisser and the fact that Louis was so unphased by it all was a hit to Harry’s ego. It could also be that Harry personally couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss, so it didn’t seem fair that Louis could. If Harry was going to suffer from this nagging teenage lust then it only seemed fair that Louis did too.

After missing several passes from Paulie, the other boy walked over to him.

“Dude,” Paulie snickered. “You good? I get that football is your forte, but damn.”

“Sorry,” Harry said with a meek smile. “I think I need a break.”

“We’ve been out here for less than five minutes. What do you mean you need a break?”

“Ummm. I just need to, uh,” he mumbled as he distractedly watched Louis do a little victory dance when Oli missed the ball he shot. “Can you give me a second?”

Paulie threw his hands up in defeat before nodding and walking toward another group of people, leaving Harry to go over to where Louis was. Louis didn’t see Harry until he was only a few steps away, his eyes squinting against the bright sun.

“Hey,” Harry waved lamely once he was standing next to him.

“Hi?” Louis raised a brow. “You lost, Styles?”

Harry’s lips curved into a small, satisfied smile. He was clearly sick in the head if Louis sassing him was making him preen. “No. I was hoping we could, um, well, I was just hoping —”

“Spit it out already.”

“Can we talk?” Harry rushed out.

Louis snorted as he looked away from him and focused on blocking the ball Oli kicked his way. “I can’t express to you how much I would rather do anything other than that.”

As if Harry needed any more reason to know how f*cked up he was, Louis’ bitchiness was really doing something for him. He was so drawn to Louis and attention starved and he needed to know what was going through Louis’ head.

“Come on, Louis,” he urged. “Just a few minutes of your time.”

“We’re literally in class,” Louis huffed out a laugh. “We’ll talk later.”

“Mrs. Owens isn’t paying attention and I’m sure Oli will be fine to wait.”

“Not going to happen.”

“Why are you avoiding me?” Harry demanded.

“I always avoid you,” Louis remarked.

Harry shook his head. “No, you’ve been avoiding me extra hard this past week.”

“What are you even talking about?”

Looking over at Oli, Harry offered him a charming smile as he walked over to him. “Oli, my man. Do you want to swap partners? I was working with Paulie. He’s a good guy and can definitely help you out with anything you need.”

“What are you doing?” Louis hissed at Harry as he joined them.

Harry ignored him and watched as Oli just shrugged and walked away. Feeling victorious, Harry grinned as he faced Louis again. Louis’ murderous glare felt like a warm, welcoming hug from the other boy, as twisted as that sounded. Trapping the ball underneath his cleats, Harry waited as Louis got back to his spot.

“Have I ever told you that you’re psychotic?” Louis asked him as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’m only playing it like you want me to.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I never do. Why are you bugging me?”

“Because you’re avoiding me!”

“I am not avoiding you. What are you on? Did you fall and hit your head or something? Or did you finally lose that last brain cell of yours?”

Harry kicked the ball his way and was shocked by Louis’ quick reflexes as he caught it right as it came toward him. A devilish glint gleamed in Louis’ icy blue eyes and Harry swallowed thickly, feeling a tug in his lower belly.

“Fine. Let’s make this interesting,” Louis said.

“How so?” Harry tilted his head to the side.

“I’ll give you five minutes of my time to talk if you manage to get the ball every time I pass it to you. And if you don’t, you lose and you leave me alone,” Louis offered.

Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. Harry straightened up and nodded. “You’re on.”

Louis kicked the ball back with such force that Harry was sure he was going to lose this bet embarrassingly fast, but he managed to trap it under his foot right before it soared past him. f*cking hell. He should have known Louis was going to play dirty and make this harder than it needed to be. If Harry knew anything about Louis, he knew Louis didn’t like to lose. But Harry was just as competitive as Louis and he was determined to win this. He kicked the ball back smoothly, ready for Louis’ pass. Each kick of the ball was done with so much finesse, agility, and speed on Louis’ part.

It was really f*cking sexy, but Harry was trying not to focus on that.

“When can we talk?” Harry asked in between kicking the ball toward Louis.

“When you win,” Louis replied, nearly kicking the ball back over Harry’s head.

Harry head-butted the ball to block it and glared at him. “You’re not playing fair.”

“If you can’t keep up, Harry, then just tell me. It’s okay to lose,” he smirked co*ckily.

Angling his foot against the ball, Harry narrowed his eyes at Louis and kicked it hard. He watched as it soared up in the air, over Louis’ head, and rolled right into the forest. Goal.

He tried not to smile as he watched Louis staring toward the forest with a look of disbelief on his face. He whirled around and gave Harry that same look.

“Are you f*cking kidding me?” Louis asked.

Louis began stomping in the direction the ball went and Harry jogged over, catching up to him and matching his quick pace. “Whoops,” he giggled.

“Honestly, Harry. Do you even know how to play soccer?”

“Do you even know how to play soccer?” Harry mocked jokingly, raising his voice higher to imitate Louis.

“Oh, nice,” Louis nodded, looking unimpressed. “Real mature.”

He giggled again. “I’m only joking.”

“Yeah, well you’re never funny.”

“I think I am sometimes. You just don’t want to admit it.”

“Whatever, weirdo,” Louis rolled his eyes.

They reached the edge of the forest and Louis began looking around trees and bushes to see if he could find the ball. Harry didn’t really care about finding it, so he trailed after him. He was a little embarrassed that he went to such great lengths to get Louis alone, but Louis didn’t leave him much choice.

“Aha,” Louis said. “Found it.”

Harry watched as he reached down and grabbed the ball from where it was sitting at the bottom of a tree. “That was fast.”

Louis chortled. “Were you hoping I wouldn’t find it? You lost the bet, by the way.”

“No, I didn’t,” Harry shook his head. “That didn’t count because you couldn’t catch the ball.”

“You cheated then.”

“No, I didn’t. Forget the bet. Louis, please. Can’t we talk?”

“What do you even want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. A lot.”

“You’re saying that, but you’re not giving me an actual answer,” Louis said, heading back toward the field. Before he could get past the edge of the clearing, Harry stopped him with a hand over his shoulder. Louis peered over at him. “Harry, we’ll get in trouble. I’ll talk to you later, ok? Let’s just go back.”

“No one’s going to notice,” Harry insisted. “Just give me five minutes.”

Huffing out a breath, Louis nodded as he faced Harry and leaned back against the nearest tree trunk. “Alright. What’s up?”

“First, I want to apologize,” he quickly rushed out, hoping Louis wouldn’t interrupt him mid-way and change his mind about hearing him out. “I’m sorry for not telling you what Theo did. That was wrong of me. You were right in calling me out. I know I said sorry to you before, but I want you to know I’ve thought about it a lot and I can understand now where you were coming from.”

Louis’ expression softened, a crease forming between his brows, almost like he wasn’t sure how to process Harry’s apology. “Okay. Thank you for apologizing.”

“I also want to apologize for the way Theo spoke to you. I think —”

“Why are you apologizing for him?” Louis interrupted.

“Because he’s my friend. Or he was my friend,” Harry breathed out, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m not really talking to him right now. And look, I know you don’t like me and I know that you think I’m a dick, but even I know Theo took it way too far that night at the party. I know you don’t need me to do anything for you and that you’re capable of standing up for yourself, but I tried talking to him. I tried telling him that he was in the wrong and that he needed to leave you alone.”

“Well, um, thank you for that, too.” His blue eyes watched Harry carefully, unsure and apprehensive. Harry didn’t blame him.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Louis nodded, looking down at the ball in his hands. “It’s been an adjustment since the breakup and it’s taking time, but I’m fine. I’ll be okay.”

“He hasn’t bothered you anymore, right?”

Louis shook his head. “I think threatening to report him worked. He’s been staying away.”

“Good,” Harry sighed softly. “I’m glad.”

“Yeah,” Louis nodded slowly. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

Harry lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “Kind of. Why have you been avoiding me?”

“Harry,” Louis guffawed. “What do you mean by that? How have I been avoiding you?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. This past week, you’ve just been acting like I’m not here. You’re not arguing or engaging with me in class anymore, or making fun of me for stupid sh*t, or looking at me like you’d rather I drop dead. It’s weird!”

Louis’ eyes narrowed. “Are you — are you upset that I haven’t been mean to you?”

Harry blew out an exhausted breath. “Is that pathetic?”

Of course, Louis began to laugh. A full-bodied, carefree laugh that Harry was incapable of looking away from. “Oh my God. You actually like it when I’m mean to you.”

“Shut up.”

“No. I will hold this over you forever.”

With his eyes glued to Louis’ face, Harry took a step closer, acutely aware of how quiet it was in the forest. How alone they were. His eyes trailed up Louis’ smooth throat to the sharp cut of his jaw. And then to the thin line of his soft pink lips that were stretched into a pretty smile. Harry’s lips had been on them. They’d kissed.

“We kissed,” he said out loud.

“Yeah, Harry. I was there,” Louis deadpanned.

“Shouldn’t we talk about it?” Harry asked, his eyes still glued to Louis’ lips.

“No,” Louis said. “It was just a dare. I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”

“I disagree,” Harry rasped out, as he took another step closer.

Louis’ gravity was too strong. Like a magnet, Harry was drawn to him.

“What is there to discuss about the kiss then?” Louis asked with a small amused smile on his face. “Since you’re in such a chatty mood. Please. Enlighten me.”

“I mean, like, I agree,” Harry murmured, smiling as he finally met Louis’ eyes.

“Agree with what?”

“It was a dare, but I don’t know. You’re kind of a good kisser.”

Louis snickered. “Kind of?”

“A really good kisser,” Harry corrected.

“I love it when you admit I’m better at you than something,” Louis smirked victoriously.

Harry smiled as he completely closed the gap between them, his palm coming up and resting over the bark of the tree beside Louis’ head. “Like soccer?”

“And kissing,” Louis whispered, peering up at Harry coyly through his long lashes.

Their lips slipped over each other’s once, twice, thrice. Louis dropped the ball between them and inhaled shallowly as he palmed at Harry’s hips to hold him close. Harry breathed Louis in, nosing along his cheekbone. He smelled like fresh grass and something sweet. Louis let out the smallest sigh, watching him.

“This is so weird,” he admitted.

Harry grinned, nodding as he angled Louis’ face toward his, their mouths colliding together in a class of teeth, lips, and tongue. Unlike the softness from a moment ago, they were clamoring for each other now, trying to eliminate any and all space between them. Somehow, Louis’ thigh wrapped around Harry’s upper thigh and Harry instinctively grabbed it, half holding Louis up against the tree trunk. With the new angle, their co*cks rubbed together over the thin material of their gym shorts and Louis let out a strangled sound, his sharp teeth biting Harry’s lip hard enough to draw blood.

“f*ck,” Harry hissed, licking over his throbbing, bottom lip. “That hurt.”

“Maybe that was my intention,” Louis rasped, fisting Harry’s hair to draw him in again with frantic hands.

Harry felt his heart hammering in his chest as Louis’ lips slammed against his own again. Louis thrust his tongue inside, his other arm wrapping around and tightening across Harry’s back. Harry groaned into it, grinding their hips together once and then again. When Louis canted his hips up to match Harry’s movements, his co*ck twitched. He was growing hard and so was Louis. They both realized it together.

And just as suddenly as the kiss had started, it ended.

Both of them sprung apart, their cheeks flushed red. Louis wiped the back of his hand over his wet mouth while Harry adjusted himself in his shorts.

“We should go back,” Louis said quickly. “The class. We should go back.”

“Yeah. Yes,” Harry agreed, mumbling breathily.

Without glancing at each other again, they walked back toward their class. And if anyone noticed how flushed and spaced out they were for the rest of the period, no one said anything.

₊˚⊹♡

Louis answered his phone on the third ring.

It was strange hearing his voice on the phone. They’d exchanged numbers when they had to work on their class project together and had only texted a handful of times to go over project-related matters. Calling someone these days took a little bit of bravery. You never knew how the other person would react or feel about it.

But Harry was a little bit drunk and he was feeling that little bit of bravery.

“Styles?” Louis said into the phone. “Why are you calling me?”

“Because I have your number,” Harry replied.

“Doesn’t mean you should use it,” Louis said, yawning into the phone.

“Were you asleep?”

“I was trying to sleep. Your call disturbed me.”

“Sorry,” Harry smiled, only half-meaning it.

“So is there an actual reason you called me?” asked Louis. “Or are you that jobless?”

“What’s your room number?” Harry asked instead of answering his question.

Louis snorted. “Why? Are you planning to come and murder me in my sleep?”

Harry barked out a laugh. “Shut up.”

“That’s it, isn’t it? You want me to just give away my room number to you so you can finally murder me like you’ve always wanted to? Well, nice try. But I’m not falling for it.”

“Well, if you don’t want to give me your number, the least you can do is come outside.”

“Why would I do that when I’m all snuggled up in bed?” Louis replied, his voice sounding relaxed for once. Harry pictured him, wrapped up underneath his blanket. He weirdly wanted to be there, too. Beside him.

f*cking hell. Maybe he was drunker than he thought.

“I’m outside your dorm. Waiting for you. You can come if you want. I’ll leave in five minutes if you don’t.”

He hung up before Louis could argue because knowing Louis, he would argue. He always had a retort ready to go. Leaning back against the brick wall of the dorm, Harry whistled to himself quietly and tried not to get his hopes up. It was kind of a gamble showing up here, but he couldn’t stop himself. The second the idea formed in his mind, he was determined.

As the minutes ticked by with no Louis in sight, Harry tried to rationalize it. It was late and tomorrow was Monday. Louis probably wanted to get to sleep on time. It was just that they hadn’t been alone since a few days ago when they kissed in the forest. And in those few days, Harry had only thought about kissing Louis again. He wanted to do it again, and maybe a time after that, too. But — he really shouldn’t get his hopes up. As another minute passed, he realized Louis was probably asleep and Harry was standing out there like an idiot.

“You look like an idiot.”

Harry startled, hitting his shoulder hard against the brick wall, as he watched Louis walk out of the dorm doors. He was still in his pajamas but wore a Saint Augustine crewneck sweater on top. “You scared me,” Harry whispered with a pout.

Louis gave him a wry look. “You literally called me to come downstairs. In the middle of the night.”

“It’s only 1 AM,” Harry tried to reason.

“That’s late, you doofus. We have a class starting at 8:30 tomorrow. You’re in that class. What are you even doing out here this late?”

Harry lifted his shoulders in a shrug as he leaned back against the wall again, crossing his legs in front of him. “You weren’t at the bonfire tonight.”

“I heard about it,” Louis said. “I didn’t really feel like going.”

“You should have come,” he shrugged again.

“Why?” Louis snorted. “Majority of the time, I’m bored.”

If Louis had hung out with Harry, he wouldn’t have been bored, but he didn’t say that. “Did you have a fun night, otherwise?”

“It was okay,” Louis replied, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Harry. “What’s going on? Did you call me down here to chit-chat about our nights? Because if that’s the case, I’m going back upstairs. I thought this was an emergency.”

He nearly began walking away, but Harry reached forward to grab his hand. It felt surprisingly soft and warm in his own.“Wait. Don’t go.”

“Harry,” Louis groaned.

“Louis, come on,” Harry breathed out a laugh. “You’re so annoying.”

“I’m annoying?”

“Yes,” Harry giggled. “I don’t really know why I’m here, but I came to see you. While at the bonfire, I realized how repetitive it all is. It’s the same people, the same things happening, the same old sh*t. And when I was sitting there tonight, I just kept thinking, what is Louis doing?”

The look on Louis’ face was indecipherable. His blue eyes were pinned on Harry and he could tell Louis was thinking hard about something. He wished he could dive into his brain and comb through his thoughts. Learn the ins and outs of the way he thinks and works. Learn every little thing about him until Harry broke through to him.

“Okay,” Louis said resolutely. “What happened at this party then?”

“I told you. The same old thing.”

“What is considered the same old thing, though? I don’t know. I don’t go to enough of these to know.”

Harry hummed as he thought about it. “Well, there’s always a couple that breaks up. Tonight it was Tara Goldner and George Kilner.”

“They’re juniors, aren’t they?” Louis asked thoughtfully. “I heard them arguing one time outside of History class. He’s a nasty piece of work.”

“That’s what I heard, too,” Harry agreed. “Well, she dumped him.”

“Good for her!”

“I know! Oh, and Niall finally kissed this girl he likes. Devon Richter fell in the lake. And one couple tried to start an orgy, but it didn’t quite pan out.”

Louis snorted. “I’m glad I missed this one, then. Did Theo go?”

Harry hesitated for a moment before nodding once. “Yeah. I actually saw him cozying up to Will Thompson.”

“The sophom*ore?”

“Yeah.”

“Interesting,” Louis snorted again.

“Does that bother you?”

“No. I came to the realization today that I don’t have feelings for him anymore. Not really.”

Harry’s brows furrowed. “Really? Just like that?”

“It’s more complicated than that, obviously. My staying with Theo was more me trying to have the romantic part of my life sorted so I could focus on the rest. I didn’t actually have deep feelings for him. I just got comfortable and somehow stayed with someone who actually treated me like sh*t.”

“I guess that makes sense,” said Harry.

“You don’t think I’m a terrible person because of it?”

“No,” Harry frowned. “Why would I?”

“Because I was kind of using Theo in a way to fulfill some life to-do list.”

“No,” Harry said firmly this time. “I think he’s a terrible person because of all the sh*t he put you through.”

“You know when we kissed at the party,” Louis began. “I did that so he’d regret the dare, but also to get revenge.”

“I had a feeling,” Harry smirked.

Louis looked embarrassed, his cheeks crimson even in the dark night. “I don’t even think it worked. I thought he’d get jealous and he’d be sorry for what he did. But who knows? I certainly haven’t spoken to him to know. Anyway, I’m done with all of that. And I’m sorry I roped you into it.”

“I was fully on board with that plan. No need to be sorry.”

Laughing softly, Louis nudged him playfully. “So, don’t these bonfires also include you getting a little action? What happened to your flavor of the week?”

Harry shot Louis an unimpressed look. “I don’t have a flavor of the week.”

“No? Color me surprised.”

“Did I mention you’re annoying?”

“Once or twice, yeah,” Louis smiled, looking much too pleased with himself. Harry wanted to kiss that smirk off his face.

“What’s with you always making fun of me for dating around? Are you jealous?” asked Harry.

“Of what?” Louis retorted, raising a brow. “Look, I’m just making conversation with you. You’ve called me down here in the middle of the night. I don’t know what you were expecting. I can leave.”

“No, no. I want to talk to you.”

“You and this newfound obsession with talking to me.”

Harry giggled again. “I’m single.”

Louis gave him a bored look. “Good to know.”

“No one’s really caught my eye, but I don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?”

“I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot about that kiss. It was kind of interesting,” Harry replied, eyes searching Louis’ face to figure out what he was thinking.

“Add kissing me to your list of new obsessions,” Louis scoffed. “You know what I think?”

“What’s that?” Harry smirked.

“I think you’re obsessed with me,” Louis replied haughtily. “You’re constantly hitting on me.”

Harry burst out laughing, feeling tears springing from the corner of his eyes. “Right. Cause I’m so in love with you.”

“Everyone knows you are, Styles.”

“You f*cking wish, Tomlinson.”

Louis shifted closer to Harry and looked at him knowingly. “You’re trying to tell me you didn’t call me down here because you were looking for a reason to kiss me?”

“That would be crazy considering we don’t even like each other,” Harry responded, though his eyes had drifted down to Louis’ lips. “Why don’t you tell me the real reason you came downstairs and I’ll tell you why I called you down?”

“And what would that accomplish?”

“Just tell me, Louis.”

Louis exhaled softly, his breath staggering. “I came down because I didn’t like the thought of you leaving when you came to see me. Your turn.”

Harry held his breath as he slowly pulled Louis in against him. “I called you because I wanted to kiss you again,” he admitted.

Shaking his head, Louis let out a small laugh. “What the f*ck is happening?”

“Come closer,” Harry said, his voice rough and gravelly.

Louis looked at him, his eyes so soft. “You know you’re the biggest cliche I’ve ever met.”

Still, Louis moved closer. Harry leaned in until his head bowed onto Louis’ shoulder, tilting his head to the side to look up at Louis’ profile.

“Harry,” Louis whispered, his mouth hovering over the hinge of his jaw.

“I can’t stop thinking about it.”

He lifted his head up and his mouth grazed over Louis’ chin. Both of them hesitated for a split second and Harry waited for Louis to say something. To stop him or maybe tell him that it wasn’t going to happen. But Louis stayed silent, almost like he was waiting for Harry to just do it.

Tipping his head forward, Harry slotted their lips together. It was softer this time. A gentle pressure mixed in with the wet heat of Louis’ lips. Harry felt his heart slamming in his chest as he cupped his hand around the crook of Louis’ neck, feeling the warm skin beneath his fingertips. Emboldened by Harry touching him, Louis also reached for him, his palms spreading across Harry’s stomach and winding them around his waist underneath his bomber jacket.

Harry muffled out a soft sigh before chasing Louis’ lips and deepening their kiss. Louis’ tongue swept against his, hungry and tender in his movements. All Harry could think was he couldn’t settle for just this once. He wanted more, more, more. His fingers squeezed the flesh on the back of Louis’ neck and Louis moaned into his mouth.

“Stop,” Louis rasped, drawing back before pressing another kiss on Harry’s lips. And then once more for good measure.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked, trying to chase Louis’ lips. The other boy granted him one kiss but then tilted his head down to move away.

“Yeah,” he said. “I just. I don’t want anyone to see us.”

Harry nodded, although he didn’t give a f*ck who saw. “Same. I don’t either.”

He was still breathing heavily as Louis slowly backed away without taking his eyes off of Harry. Everything about him screamed that he didn’t want to go, but he continued to move away. “I’ll see you in class.”

“See you,” Harry said, watching him walk back into his dorm.

₊˚⊹♡

Harry lifted his white football helmet off his head, resting it by his feet, and grabbed his water bottle. He drank a large gulp, watching his teammates talking amongst themselves and laying out on the grass while they took their five-minute break in between practice. It was early days in terms of the season, which meant a lot of the guys were a bit rusty and needed time to fully gain their stamina back, but all of them were ready to fight for the Championship Cup. Harry felt good about it, too, and as much as he hated admitting it, the football camp he’d gone to during the summer had helped him stay in shape, keeping him strong and agile for the sport.

He’d spoken to his dad just yesterday, discussing different plays that had worked for Jack during his games and workout regimes that Harry should keep up with during the season. Harry did his best in trying to be as engaged during the call as possible, but he was distracted. He’d been distracted for a couple of weeks now. Namely by one person.

Before he could allow his mind to wander into that territory, Theo approached him with an agitated look on his face. Harry eyed him from where he was sitting on the bleachers. They hadn’t spoken to each other since that party. It made lunchtime, when the football team got together for bonding time, a little awkward but not unbearably so. Harry was okay with going the rest of the year without speaking to Theo. Just because they were on the same team didn’t mean they had to be friends.

“Hey,” Theo said, standing in front of him. “You got a minute to talk?”

“Not really,” replied Harry, sucking on the mouth of his water bottle while looking away from Theo.

“Harry, dude. Come on,” Theo pleaded. “You’ve been weird for days and I don’t get why.”

“I just have no interest in talking to you, Theo.”

“What is your deal, man?” Theo continued to badger. “I get it. You’re pissed I dared you to kiss Louis. I know you hate his guts and —”

Harry flashed Theo a glare. “Where do you get off still talking about him? After everything you did. You have some audacity, Harrington.”

“What are you f*cking talking about!”

“What you did was not f*cking cool, Theo,” Harry gritted out, standing up to his full height and piercing his gaze through the other boy. “It was gross. Louis didn’t deserve that from you when you were the one in the wrong. You cheated. I was there and we all saw you. So why go to such great lengths to try and lie to him about it? Why humiliate him?”

Theo scoffed, an incredulous smile on his face. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“What?”

“Are you actually standing up for Louis? You guys can’t stand each other. You both f*cking hate each other.”

“That’s beside the point.”

“No, it’s not. Where is this newfound camaraderie coming from? This will only make you look stupid, Styles. He hates you. He has always talked so much sh*t about you, and don’t even try to tell me it wasn’t mutual on your part up until that party.” Theo paused, his eyes widening. “Wait a minute. Do you like him or something?”

“What?” Harry narrowed his eyes. “No. And even if I did, I wouldn’t be discussing it with you.”

“You do like him, don’t you?” asked Theo, nodding like he’d put together pieces of the puzzle. “It all makes sense now.”

“Keep talking all the sh*t you want, Theo. I’m done with you,” Harry said dismissively. “You’re a f*cking idiot.”

“No, actually,” Theo tacked on. “You are. You’re actually falling for Louis’ sh*t. I can’t believe it. It’s not going to end well for you, you know?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re cracked.”

Theo clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “This is what he does. He’s going to suck you in and then he’s going to treat you like sh*t. All he ever wants is to get ahead. No one comes over his studies and his future. You’ll just be left reeling after he’s through with you.”

“Piss off, Theo,” Harry retorted gruffly.

He walked away after grabbing his helmet off the ground and putting it back on his head. As he made his way toward the field and the other guys, Theo’s words floated through his head, clouding his thoughts. While he didn’t know how to define what was going on between him and Louis, it was evident that things had shifted between them. He was drawn to Louis like a moth to a flame, uncaring if this whole thing would explode and burn him to ashes. The need for him was primal. An addiction, almost. Whatever happened going forward, he wasn’t going to stop it. In a way, it was exciting for Harry. It was a feeling he hadn’t felt for anyone before. And he didn’t need Theo to tell him what Louis’ priorities were. Harry was well aware of them. So, really, he had this all figured out.

He hoped.

₊˚⊹♡

Later that day, after dinner, Harry was headed toward his dorm when he realized he’d left his phone in the boys locker room when he was there for football practice. He hadn’t even noticed that he didn’t have it on him. Zayn and Niall met up with him and they’d been hanging out since, so it made sense why he forgot about it. Those two were the only ones he consistently texted and communicated with. He turned around and walked back toward the gymnasium. It was one of the largest buildings on campus since it had to accommodate a range of different sports teams and members.

It was eerie inside when he walked through the doors. Most of the lights were dimmed and there was no one around. Crossing the empty front lobby, he went toward the back where the locker rooms were located. After getting his phone, which he found tucked underneath his hoodie inside of his locker, he briskly walked out of the locker room and back toward the front. But then a light splashing sound stopped him in his tracks. He froze, peering down the hallway, and noticed there was light coming from the indoor pool room. Harry slowly walked toward it and was shocked at what he found.

Turned out the splashing noise was coming from Louis, who was focused as he swam laps back and forth from one end of the pool to the other.

“What is it with you and being inside creepy school buildings alone at night?” Harry asked.

Louis startled, submerging before swimming back up again. He spat water out of his mouth as he tugged his goggles off.

“What is it with you and creeping up on me with no warning?” Louis glared. “Scared me half to death.”

“Better me than a ghost, right?”

“Not the ghosts again. You’re going to tell me there’s a James Hill ghost in here, too?” Louis asked drily.

Harry chuckled as he walked further in toward the pool. “No. But there could be other ghosts. They do exist in this school, you know? It was built in the 1900s and there’s too much history for there not to be ghosts. You’d benefit from learning about some of the lore since you enjoy being out here alone in the dark.”

“I’m not doing this whole ghost thing with you again,” Louis said matter of factly. “What are you doing here?”

“I forgot my phone in the locker room. Came to get it. What are you doing here?”

“Is it not obvious?” Louis asked, smiling as he began floating on his back. “I’m practicing.”

“Isn’t the indoor pool locked after hours?”

“Coach Phil gave me the key. He lets me use it sometimes so I can practice.”

“For the swim meets?”

“That and I want to beat the school record for the fastest 100-yard backstroke. I’m nearly there. Just hard to get all the practice I want when I’m working with others and getting distracted. That’s why I come here sometimes.”

Harry exhaled a laugh. “You’re insane.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Louis replied sarcastically as he righted himself and pulled off the swim cap on his head. “Now, are you done bothering me? I only have a little bit of time left before I have to go back to my dorm and do homework.”

Rolling his eyes, albeit fondly, Harry put his phone down on top of an empty chair off to the side of the room. He pulled his uniform jacket off before unbuttoning his shirt as well.

“What are you doing?” demanded Louis.

“What does it look like?” Harry responded when he was down to his boxers. Louis watched in alarm as Harry made his way toward the pool and dived in, sinking to the bottom before swimming back up.

“You cannot be in here with me!” Louis chastised.

Harry laughed, wiping water off his face. “Why not?”

“If someone comes in, we’ll be in so much trouble.”

“You’re in here.”

“Yes, but I was practicing. For a school-related thing! If you’re in here, they’re going to think we’re up to something.”

Harry smiled innocently. “Like what?”

Louis gave him a sardonic look and splashed him with water. “Get out.”

“No,” Harry giggled, swimming closer to him. “You need to live a little and not be so scared of getting in trouble. Besides, they’d be stupid to expel their top student.”

“I won’t be the top student if you keep distracting me with everything you’re doing,” Louis huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I mean, honestly, Harry, are you trying to ruin my life?”

Harry’s eyes lit up. “How’d you guess?”

“You think you’re so funny,” Louis wryly said.

“One of these days, you’re going to agree that I am.”

“That day isn’t today.”

Harry breathed out a laugh, wading closer to Louis until he could see the deep blue in his eyes. With all this kissing business, Harry was starting to notice certain things about Louis, especially in his appearance. He’d always objectively thought of Louis as an attractive person, but that had only heightened. Like right now, his hair all spiky and standing up in weird angles was cute. Harry wanted to mess his hair up even more.

“I can practice with you if you want,” he offered. “I bet I could beat you.”

“I highly doubt it,” Louis sassed confidently. “But you can keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night.”

“So nice of you to care about my sleep considering you never sleep.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m done accomplishing all of my goals.”

“What are they?” Harry asked.

“I have too many to list them all out now.”

“Tell me about them,” Harry requested, smiling softly. “What’s your five-year plan?”

Louis kicked back against the water and started swimming in circles around Harry. “You really want to know?” he asked, sounding unsure. Like he couldn’t fathom that Harry would care.

“Of course. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

“Okay,” Louis said, a small smile on his face. “In five years, I want to graduate summa cum laude from Harvard University with a Political Science degree.”

“That’s what you want to study?” Harry asked. Given what Louis’ parents did, he could see why Louis would also be going down this route.

“I’ve been set on it since I was little,” explained Louis.

“Okay,” Harry slowly said. “Then what? I know you have a ten-year plan, too.”

Nodding, Louis said, “In ten years, I want to be done with my Master's in Public Policy and, hopefully, working in a non-profit organization as a policy analyst.”

“Really?” Harry’s brows raised in shock. “I honestly wouldn’t have thought that that’s what you’d want to do.”

“Why? What did you think I’d want to do?”

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged. “Maybe become a lawyer like your mom. You’d kill any argument or debate. One mean glare from you and the opponent would be down.”

To his surprise, a giggle escaped Louis’ smiling lips.

Harry smiled back, barreling on. “I could also see you becoming a politician like your dad. Become President. World domination. All that stuff. But I definitely didn’t peg you as the guy who’d want to work for a non-profit and policies.”

“You don’t know me half as much as you think you do, Styles,” Louis remarked haughtily. “What about you then? I know you want to go pro with football, but do you have any other goals?”

Harry shook his head nonchalantly. “I’m kind of trying to figure it all out as I go.”

“Doesn’t it scare you not to have a plan?”

“Not really. You should try it sometimes.”

“Hard pass,” Louis scoffed. “Just thinking about not having a plan gives me the heebie jeebies.”

Harry burst into laughter as he ran his fingers through his hair and combed his wet strands back. When he faced Louis again, he saw that the other boy was eyeing him curiously. He was leaning back on the walls of the pool, submerged up to his shoulders.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Harry, clearing his throat.

“Just wondering why you’re here,” Louis answered.

“I told you. I left my phone in the —”

“No, I mean in here with me. You could have left and gone back to the dorm.”

“I just wanted to talk to you,” admitted Harry. “Hang out.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot,” Louis said, his eyes trailing down to the water. He began absentmindedly forming shapes on top of it with his pointer finger. “I don’t really know what’s going on. I mean, I appreciate you doing what you did at the party and then apologizing in gym class. But I don’t know — all this other stuff. It’s weird, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“It just doesn’t make sense because I know you don’t like me. A lot of people don’t like me.”

“Why do you say that?” Harry interjected before he could continue.

“Because it’s true. Because I’m intense and people aren’t very comfortable with someone like that — someone like me. So I guess I’m just saying I don’t know why you’re trying this hard. You don’t have to. We’re cool, or whatever. You can just leave it.”

“Louis,” Harry sighed, wading toward him until he was right in front of him. “I do like you. Why do you always insist that I don’t?”

Louis exhaled a groan. “Don’t be annoying, Harry. Don’t act like you and I have always been friends.”

“I’m not. I get what you’re saying, but I don’t agree with all of it.”

“Fine. That’s your prerogative, I guess”

Harry reached for the pool ledge with both hands, caging Louis in. “This isn’t one-sided, right?”

“What?” Louis asked, playing dumb and looking up at him through wet lashes.

“This thing that’s been happening between us.”

A pause as Louis’ gaze darkened. To his surprise, Louis shook his head. A slow smirk curved onto Harry’s face and his eyes trailed down to Louis’ mouth. His mouth was kryptonite. When he looked back up into Louis’ eyes, he immediately felt a tug in his stomach. His body automatically shifted forward until they were touching.

“Can you stop looking at me like that?” Louis’ voice was barely above a whisper.

“Like what?”

“You’re making that face. Doing that thing with your eyes.”

Harry grinned, tilting his head to the side. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re giving me f*ck me eyes.”

Just hearing the words “f*ck me” come out of Louis’ mouth in his sweet, syrupy, raspy voice felt like hot liquid cascading down Harry’s skin. He shifted toward Louis’ ears and whispered, “And what if I want you to?”

Louis’ body visibly shivered as his lips parted, eyes trained on Harry like he wanted to eat him alive. “You’re insane.”

“Your body is insane. Your mouth is insane. You’re driving me insane.”

“You want me even though Theo called me a prude?”

There was that uncertainty again. That sliver of self-doubt and self-consciousness that Louis sometimes couldn’t hide.

“I thought we established that Theo is an idiot who has no idea what he’s talking about,” said Harry. “Besides, I know you’re not a prude. You’ve gotten hard the last two times and all we did was kiss. I think you’re just fine.”

A peal of laughter slipped past Louis’ lips. “I don’t blame Theo for saying that. I rarely let him go all the way with me.”

“Is he that bad at sex?”

“He’s alright.”

“I know you need someone to give it to you good. It’s what you’ve been missing.”

Louis wrinkled his nose in disgust despite the grin on his face. “You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re not as innocent as you act,” Harry responded.

“I’m not?”

“If you were innocent, you wouldn’t be looking at me like you want to take me apart,” he breathed out.

Louis whined softly, letting out a ragged breath as he grasped Harry’s hips. “Shut the f*ck up and just kiss me.” In the next moment, his mouth was on Harry’s.

Harry had known it was all going to lead up to this. From the moment he saw Louis in here, he’d hoped that somehow they’d end up where they were. Right in this very spot. Kissing each other hard like they were starved for each other. Nothing could have compared to the actual feeling, though. It was exciting. Thrilling. A shot of adrenaline through his veins.

Louis’ tongue licked inside of his mouth while his hands tangled into Harry’s wet hair. With each brush of his lips, each stroke of his tongue, Harry felt like the other boy was waking up every nerve in his body. Without the fear that there were others around or someone could walk in, all inhibitions were dropped. Louis’ knees fell open for him and he pulled Harry in with his calves wrapped around his waist in a tight grip. Their hips rolled together and Harry gasped at how good it felt.

He breathed shallowly while they moved against each other slowly, watching the way Louis’ eyes stared back at him, half-lidded and dark. “Who’s giving who f*ck me eyes now?” Harry asked, aiming for playful, but sounding out of breath and turned on instead.

Louis breathed out a laugh, air rushing out of his lungs. One of Harry’s hands reached for the back of Louis’ head. He gently tugged it back while gripping the strands of his hair between his fingers and exposing the smooth column of his throat. Slowly, Harry drew his lips over it, his tongue licking a long stripe up and then down. Louis let out a shaky breath as his hand came to rest on Harry’s chest. Harry continued to drag his parted lips over the spot between Louis’ neck and shoulder, mouthing it wetly. When he felt Louis squirm against him, he bit the flesh and sucked over the reddened skin.

“So f*cking soft,” Harry whispered hoarsely.

As Harry kissed down Louis’ shoulder and to his clavicle, Louis moved away from Harry’s grip on his hair. Harry let go easily and allowed Louis to trail his hands back up and around his shoulders where he scraped his nails to bring him closer while his torso arched forward.

“I don’t want to stop kissing you,” Louis murmured.

Harry slid the pad of his thumb across Louis’ swollen bottom lip and moved it down to his chin, using it to angle Louis’ face up and slanting their parted mouths together. Louis’ velvet smooth tongue pressed against his, stroking it slowly, and Harry swallowed every small moan and breath. They kissed for what felt like ages and Harry made no move to stop, desperate to chase this feeling that only Louis’ lips could bring.

When they parted, lips puffy and red, Louis looked debauched in a way that was sinful. The blue in his eyes was barely visible in the dimly lit room. He gave Harry a gentle shove back, unwrapping his legs, and smiled.

“We need to get out of this water before we shrivel up into prunes,” he giggled.

Harry nodded in agreement, eyes not leaving Louis as they climbed out of the pool. By the time they got dressed and went outside, the campus grounds were empty. All students were back in their dorms and that was where Louis and Harry headed, too. When they arrived, Louis seemed to be in a rush to head to his own building, leaving Harry with a wave and standing outside on his own. He stayed rooted there for a moment and wondered why Louis was so adamant about fighting whatever was going on between them.

God knew Harry’d stopped fighting the temptation.

₊˚⊹♡

It wasn’t the text Harry had been expecting to get on a Thursday night. He was lying in bed, nose deep in the latest English class book — Lord of the Flies — and felt his phone buzzing once. He’d ignored it at first, too engrossed in the chapter he was on, but then it buzzed again with a second text. When the third one came through soon after, he put his book down over his stomach and reached for his phone.

Louis (12:19 AM): Are you awake?

Louis (12:21 AM): I can’t believe I just sent you a “u up” text.

Louis (12:22 AM): Please acknowledge me before I DIE of embarrassment.

Harry grinned to himself as he read over the texts a second and third time. He quickly typed back a response.

Harry (12:22 AM): who is this?

Louis (12:23 AM): Very funny, Styles.

Harry (12:23 AM): lol why are you awake right now?

Louis (12:23 AM): Had a bad day. Needed to get my mind off of it, so Clara, Liam, and two of their friends invited me to hang out. We’re in Clara’s room right now.

Harry (12:24 AM): what are you guys doing?

Louis (12:24 AM): Clara’s friend had beer stashed away so we’re just drinking and talking. But I’m still feeling a bit f*cked up.

Harry (12:25 AM): i’m sorry you had a bad day

Harry (12:25 AM): anything i can do to help?

Louis (12:25 AM): It’s okay. You weren’t the cause of my bad day even if you are a headache sometimes.

Harry (12:26 AM): awwww you’re so sweet :’)

Louis (12:26 AM): You were probably asleep or trying to sleep. I’m sorry for bugging you.

Louis (12:26 AM): I shouldn’t have drank. Drinking always makes me act stupid.

Harry (12:27 AM): lol you’re fineeee. plus you’re typing really well for someone who is drunk

Louis (12:27 AM): I’m not that drunk. I’m just a tiny bit tipsy and feeling mopey. You can just ignore me.

Harry (12:27 AM): it’s okay and i don’t want to ignore you

Harry (12:27 AM): and i know i didn’t cause your bad day, but i get it. i’m here if you need an ear

Harry (12:27 AM): or a pair of lips :p

Louis stopped responding for a few minutes and Harry decided to go back to reading. When his phone buzzed again, he dropped his book embarrassingly fast to check his text.

Louis (12:33 AM): We can’t keep doing this.

Harry (12:33 AM): doing what?

Louis (12:33 AM): Don’t play dumb.

Louis (12:33 AM): The kissing or whatever we’re doing. It’s getting strange.

Harry (12:34 AM): strange how? strange like you like it?

Louis (12:34 AM): I don’t know but it makes everything confusing so we can’t!

Harry (12:35 AM): alright...if you say so

Harry (12:35 AM): but if you change your mind

Harry (12:35 AM): i’m in room 209 in founders hall

Chapter 5: 5 | LOUIS

Chapter Text

Louis (12:53 AM): I’m on my way.

LEAVE ME ALONE (12:53 AM): :)

₊˚⊹♡

Louis couldn’t believe he was doing this. He had no idea what had come over him. He couldn’t blame it on the alcohol because he had only nursed one can the whole night. He couldn’t blame boredom or horniness because he could easily go back to his own room and read a book or get himself off. He also couldn’t blame it on having a bad day because the cure to that was to just get some sleep. Louis was simply losing his mind. He was sure of it. There was no explanation aside from insanity that would lead him to lie to his friends, telling them he was going to bed when in reality he was going to meet Harry and do...whatever it was that they were going to do.

Well, he wasn’t totally clueless about that.

Days and weeks of rushed, frenzied kisses and a strange, unexplainable desire for each other had led to this decision. Louis had been trying to fight it. He had no idea what it was, but every time Harry kissed him, Louis felt all of his defenses go down. He couldn’t even say that he was doing this out of some weird effort to prove Theo wrong about being a prude. No, Louis was doing this because he wanted it. He wanted Harry.

His heart was jack rabbiting in his chest, threatening to jump right out and fall at his feet. God, he felt nauseous, but also, despite himself, so excited. He felt like his body was shaking with all of his contradicting emotions. When he walked through Founders Hall’s doors, he decided to take the stairs. Less chance of people seeing him that way. No way did he want anyone to know he was coming over to visit Styles for a booty call.

What had his life come to? Was he seriously about to go to Harry Styles’ dorm room to have sex? He was losing his marbles. He had to be. If someone had told him a year ago — no, even a month ago — that he was going to hook up with Harry, he’d have laughed in their face and told them they were f*cking delusional.

As he began second guessing this whole thing and debating turning around, he’d made it to the hall leading to room 209. And there, standing against his door frame with a smug, stupidly gorgeous grin was Harry, waiting for him.

Louis’ mind instantly went blank and a chorus of yes, yes, yes repeated over and over. He walked toward Harry, taking in the rosy hue of his cheeks and his messy, curly hair. He stood slanted against his door, one foot crossed over the other to match his arms over his chest. Louis both wanted to kiss him and punch him for looking so annoyingly sure of himself.

This would have been easier if Harry was less attractive. The fact that he had a pretty face and a frustratingly impressive body made it that much harder. He made Louis want to do very, very bad things to him. There was no other way to explain it. Louis felt wired about Harry, addicted to the rush he gave him. He wanted him in a way he’d never really wanted anyone before, which was bizarre to think when he’d had a long-term boyfriend whom he’d had sex with — several times. With every brush of Harry’s lips and the taste of spearmint on his tongue, he pulled Louis in in the same way that he likely drew in all of his conquests. As much as Louis didn’t want to just be another notch on Harry’s bedpost, he was a teenager with working body parts and raging hormones who only had one thing in mind.

And he was ready to give in.

The second Louis got to Harry, he placed his thumb and index finger beneath Harry’s jaw, tilted his head down, and captured his lips in a kiss as he pushed him back inside his room, closing the door with his back. Harry whined lowly, pressing Louis back against the door, and kissed him back eagerly.

“I’m so glad you came,” Harry murmured to him in between kisses.

“Don’t get too excited,” Louis reminded him.

“No?” Harry grinned, pecking his lips twice in quick succession.

“No,” Louis replied firmly. “This is hate sex.”

“Oh, right, right. How could I be so silly?” Harry chuckled amusedly as his hands tugged Louis’ shirt to draw him near.

“You hate me. I hate you,” Louis pointed out. “That’s what this is, right?”

“First of all, I told you I’ve never hated you,” Harry replied, leaning down to smack a kiss on Louis’ unsuspecting lips. “I just think it’s fun to mess with you. Second of all, don’t act like it wasn’t mutual.”

Louis narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He didn’t want to get too in his head about what this all meant. “Well, enough messing with me,” Louis bit out, leaning forward to try and kiss Harry again, but Harry teased him, moving away from him.

“You don’t like it when I mess with you?”

Louis twisted his hands in Harry’s hair to pull him forward again. “No, you weirdo.”

“You just want me to mess you up, don’t you?” Asked Harry lowly.

A throaty sound emanated from Louis as their lips met in a mind-numbingly good kiss. He was so distracted that he barely noticed that Harry had led them away from the door and onto his bed, laying them down side by side. With Harry’s hand curling around Louis’ waist, Louis hauled Harry against him by the shoulders, closing every gap between them. Now that they were doing this, he didn’t want a moment to think because if he started thinking then he’d talk himself out of it, and he really didn’t want to. It already felt so good.

“What do you want?” Harry asked him, voice rough and breath labored.

“Touch me,” Louis whispered back, winding one of his legs over Harry’s waist.

Harry gently pushed him on his back, his fingers twisting into Louis’ shirt. He began lifting it over Louis’ stomach to help him take it off. His palms slid over Louis’ rib cage and his thumbs rolled across his nipples. A hiss escaped Louis’ lips at the sensation, making him writhe in Harry’s sheets. Harry watched him closely, pure lust and hunger darkening his gaze.

“You’re unreal,” he said, leaning down to place several soft, open-mouthed kisses over Louis’ throat.

His lips dragged down to Louis’ chest and his teeth sank into his collarbone. Louis shivered at the sharp pain that then brought in a wave of pleasure, gripping Harry’s hair to hold him steady. A moment later, Harry pulled out of his grasp, sitting up to strip his shirt off along with his sleep shorts, exposing his sculpted body. Louis’ eyes grazed down his lean muscles, reaching his hands forward to roam them down from Harry’s chest to his belly button. Harry smiled, his fingers hooking over the waistband of Louis’ pants. Louis helped him tug them down in one go.

The feeling of skin-to-skin contact made Louis suck in a sharp breath as Harry cupped his jaw and kissed him again. They were only in their boxers now, but the anticipation of what was to come sent a sizzle of electricity and heat straight down to Louis’ groin. He was fully hard now, aching for some friction as he rolled his hips against Harry’s. Their hard co*cks nudged together and Louis moaned into Harry’s mouth, a mix of satisfaction and frustration. Harry’s hands, which were running down his sides and back up his front, stilled.

“Going to give you what you want,” Harry said against his mouth as his hands dragged down Louis’ neck, torso, and then to his crotch.

Harry’s long fingers reached for the waistband of his boxers, dipping inside. When his hand came into contact with Louis’ co*ck and slid to the tip, Louis exhaled a sharp breath, rocking his hips forward. His hands cupped the back of Harry’s neck, whimpering into his mouth, while Harry worked his hand over him.

“That feel good?” Harry asked.

“Yes, yes,” Louis breathed out shallowly as Harry’s thumb swiped over a drop of moisture at the tip. Letting out a grunt of his own, Harry pulled Louis’ boxers down and his dick sprang out, heavy and pulsating. Using Louis’ pre-come, Harry began to stroke him, smooth and quick. Louis couldn’t understand how it could already feel this good just from some hand on co*ck action. His lips were parted as he let out soft whimpers and whines while Harry kissed along his collarbone. The kisses were gentle and innocent at first, but then Harry’s lips wrapped around one budded nipple, and Louis’ hands grabbed onto his hair, tightening at the scalp as a flurry of shivers ran through him.

Harry’s lips were hungry as they sucked and nibbled over one nipple before moving on to the other while his tight fist continued to run up and down his shaft. Louis rocked his hips with the movements shamelessly.

“I’m close,” he breathed out.

Harry picked up his pace and Louis chased his org*sm, eager to unleash this unbearable knot of longing he’d been harboring for so long. He stiffened and spilled all over Harry’s fist, shuddering as he did. Before he could fully process what had happened, Harry sat up and pulled Louis across his lap, pressing his mouth on Louis’, warm and hungry.

“Your org*sm face is so hot,” he said, circling Louis’ neck with one arm.

Louis breathed out a laugh, his fingers snaking into the other boy’s curls. “Don’t be weird.”

“That’s not what you were saying when I was jerking you off,” Harry smirked, his warm mouth skimming over Louis’ shoulder.

“Shut up,” Louis said with barely any heat in his words. “It’s your turn.”

“You’re going to get me off?”

“I’m going to f*ck you,” Louis said, his palm coming up to Harry’s chest. He could feel Harry’s pulse pick up and hum underneath his touch.

The other boy peered up at him, a gleam in his green eyes as his jaw tightened. “Yeah. Yeah,” Harry nodded, his voice low and rough. “I want you to f*ck me.”

“Do you have the stuff?”

“I should,” he replied. Louis sat back on the bed while Harry searched through his drawers for a condom. He soon came back with one and some lube already caked on his fingers. “I can open myself up. I think if you do it, I’ll come too early.”

Louis burst into giggles, laying back while Harry crouched beside him on his knees, reaching back to finger himself. He looked at Louis with a softness in his eyes.

“This is a bad idea, right?” he asked Louis.

“What is?” Louis asked.

“Us.”

Louis rolled his eyes playfully as he reached forward and brushed his fingers over Harry’s hip. The skin was soft and he wanted to press his fingers so deep that they left marks. “There is no us.”

“Of course, there’s an us,” Harry responded hotly as his lips parted in a gasp. He was fingering himself so fast that Louis wondered if he was feeling pain or pleasure.

“Yeah,” Louis said, thrill coursing through his veins. “Then it’s definitely a bad idea.”

A devilish smirk stretched across Harry’s face and he crawled forward on all fours. “I’m ready.”

“Already?”

“Yeah,” Harry said, staying in position. “I can’t wait any longer.”

Louis took the condom Harry had placed on the bed and tore it open, working it on his already half-hard co*ck, wincing at the oversensitivity. Using the remaining lube in his hand, Harry reached for Louis’ co*ck and spread it on him until he was back up to full hardness. Sitting up, Louis crawled behind Harry, his hands finding Harry’s waist and taking hold of it.

“Ready?” Louis asked.

“Yeah,” Harry murmured, nodding his head as he craned around to make eye contact.

Louis snaked his arm around Harry’s midriff, drawing him back and closer to him. He leaned down to pepper kisses from the base of his back up to the middle of his spine, parted lips leaving traces as he went. He aligned his dick over Harry’s hole and circled the rim at a lazy pace. A moan escaped Harry’s lips at the tortuous teasing. Louis decided he liked it, running the crown of his co*ck along the line of Harry’s plump ass.

Harry arched his back. “f*ck me,” he whispered. “Please. Need you to fill me.”

They both gasped when Louis pushed in halfway. He inched in bit by bit, hands holding onto the curve of Harry’s lower back. Harry’s muscles were strong and tight, and he was taking Louis so well. Louis liked that Harry agreed so easily to let Louis f*ck him. It made him feel slightly more in control of whatever was going on between them.

Louis was so lost in how good it felt, that it didn’t register that he’d bottomed out until Harry let out a high whimper. Slowly, Louis rocked into him and they adjusted to a rhythm. Harry began to thrust backward, gasping and moaning every time Louis hit his sensitive spot. Louis suddenly had the feeling that he was standing at the edge of a cliff, so close to falling and getting that rush of pleasure, but not quite getting there. He held Harry close, feeling like he couldn’t get deep enough every time Harry’s walls clenched and tightened around his co*ck. After sliding all the way out, Louis rammed inside of him in one go, his thrust hard and animalistic in force.

“f*ck, f*ck, f*ck,” Harry whimpered, his breaths shallow and frantic.

“Come on, Harry,” Louis pushed while their hips moved in a desperate rhythm. “I want to see you come.”

“Yeah,” Harry moaned loudly as his hips stuttered and his co*ck spurted out ropes of come. Louis continued to thrust into him, wrenching every bit of pleasure he could until his own powerful org*sm hit him, making him come deep inside of Harry with a quiet groan. Harry’s arms had fully given out and he was tipped over, lying on the bed with a lazy smile on his face.

With his heart still racing, Louis slid out of Harry and slumped down beside him, feeling spent in a way he never had. As he looked at the other boy and the hard and soft curves of his body, Louis wondered if this potentially wasn’t a one-and-done type of situation.

f*ck.

This really was a bad idea.

₊˚⊹♡

For the next couple of weeks, Louis and the rest of the student body was busy with midterms and college applications. He had papers due and half a term’s worth of studying, all of which took the front seat in his mind. Annoyingly enough, Harry wasn’t too far behind, always creeping up into his thoughts when he least expected it. Louis had thought he’d wake up the morning after his night with Harry and regret what they’d done. He thought he’d get the ick and want to stay as far from Harry as possible afterward, but thinking about their night only made Louis feel a sharp longing for more.

Still, neither of them made a move to see each other again after that night. It was probably for the best. Louis couldn’t afford to lose his focus or take his eyes off of the prize, even if Harry’s presence in classes and the smell of spearmint gum drifting from his mouth was constantly a distraction.

His plan worked up until they no longer had midterms to focus on. After his last exam, Louis messaged Clara and Liam, asking if they wanted to go to the football game that night. They had a home game against a nearby school and Louis figured maybe seeing Harry in his natural douchebag setting with all of his bozo football teammates would snap him out of this weird state of mind. It would hopefully remind him that Harry was not someone to fool around with. He was the enemy!

Thankfully, Liam and Clara agreed to go, but both gave Louis questioning glances as they made their way up the bleachers and to some empty seats on the fourth row.

“So are we supporting any one player?” Liam asked, probably wondering if Louis was getting back together with Theo. He was the only one Louis had ever bothered to come to a football game for.

“No,” Louis shook his head inconspicuously. “Just felt like coming. I have heard the Greenfield Gators are a tough team to beat.”

“I’ve heard the same. But every time Saint Augustine has played them, we’ve won,” Clara said, rubbing her gloved hands together as a breeze rushed by. “I didn’t know you were such a big fan of the Greenfield Gators.”

She had a teasing smile on her face and Louis playfully swatted at her shoulder. “I’m not! I just have nothing better to do tonight.”

“If you say so,” Liam laughed, curling an arm around Clara’s shoulder to hold her close. It was a chilly night and Louis had bundled up as much as possible, but it would be nice if he had someone to cuddle him too. What a nauseating thought.

The bleachers began filling up quickly and Louis marveled at how many people enjoyed this game and came out in droves to support the team, even on a cold night. At the start, the cheerleaders did a couple of their routines to a catchy pop remix. Once they were done, the announcer called out each of the teams starting with the Greenfield Gators. When it was time for the Saint Augustine Stallions, the level of noise and cheers doubled. Louis clapped politely but didn’t go overboard like some of his peers. Each team member came out one at a time with Harry being the last.

It was deafening when he walked out. Louis had never seen the crowd this enthusiastic. The last time he’d gone to a game, which was sometime early last year, there was excitement and a lot of energy, but not like this. Harry stopped walking at some point and slowly turned around, looking at the crowd and blowing them kisses and waves, like they were his fans. Which, Louis supposed, they were.

When he reached the set of bleachers Louis was sitting on, Harry’s eyes somehow zeroed in on him. Their gazes locked and a slow lopsided smirk spread across Harry’s face. So co*cky and so familiar. Louis couldn’t fathom why his stomach was churning, like there was a stampede of butterflies fluttering their wings and causing him to feel queasy and sick. He also couldn’t fathom how he got to a point where not seeing Harry bothered him, and why when he did, he felt like an absolute fool going through withdrawals.

“Is he staring at us?” Clara asked, her tone laced with confusion. “It feels like he’s staring at us.”

Liam snorted. “He’s staring at Louis.”

“He’s not staring at me,” Louis replied, breaking his gaze from Harry’s. “More like glaring.”

“If you say so,” Liam repeated, now with a knowing grin.

Louis suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and watched as Harry was ushered to go into position with the rest of his team. Soon, the game began. Louis understood to some degree how the game of football worked, but the many times that Theo had tried to explain, Louis almost always tuned him out. He knew touchdowns were good. He knew that people counted yards and how far players threw the ball. He also knew there was a lot of tackling. He did his best to keep up, watching as the players scrambled around the large field.

Just when he thought it was getting boring, everyone quieted down, watching as Harry got a hold of the ball, zooming past other players from the opposite team, who tried tackling and stopping him from running onto their half of the field. His deep green number 17 jersey stood out in contrast to all the red, but Harry made it to the end zone, scoring the first touchdown of the night. Everyone in the bleachers cheered, standing up to clap, whistle, and scream.

Louis awkwardly stood with everyone else and blinked in surprise as Harry’s eyes found his again before quickly looking away and running back toward the other side of the field. The game continued similarly with Harry scoring most of the touchdowns while his team helped him along the way. They won 28-10 and there was a large group huddle while everyone cheered them on.

It pained Louis to admit this, but he was impressed. He’d never paid as much attention to the game as he had today and so he’d always missed when Harry did his thing out there. He could see him doing well as a pro player after high school. As Louis stood up and made his way down the bleachers with everyone, he felt his phone buzz in his coat pocket.

“Did you enjoy the game, Lou?” Clara asked.

“It was pretty good, yeah,” he answered, stepping down from the last step.

They exited the field and walked toward the main campus, along with the other students. There were some players’ families in the crowd, too. Louis wondered if Jack Styles was in attendance. He couldn’t remember if he’d heard it from Theo or someone else, but they said that he made sure to come to almost every game of Harry’s.

“I’m glad we did this tonight. It was a fun game,” Liam said. “Do you guys want to go and watch a movie in the common room now?”

“I’m down,” Clara agreed.

They both looked to Louis, who had just fished his phone out of his pocket.

LEAVE ME ALONE (8:34 PM): meet me outside the emergency exit door by the boys locker room. ill be there in 10

Louis had no idea how Harry had the time to text him when he literally just went into the locker room with his team. That boy moved fast. It was also very presumptuous of him to demand that Louis come meet him. What if Louis didn’t want to? He didn’t just come to the game to see Harry. He came to do something semi-fun on his Friday night. Besides, Harry had some nerve to text him now when he’d barely reached out to Louis since they hooked up.

“Louis?”

Turning to look at his friends, Louis gave them a blank stare.

Clara chuckled. “Movie? You in or not?”

“Oh,” Louis nodded. Right. Liam mentioned watching a movie. “Um, I just remembered I left a book of mine in the locker room during swim practice yesterday. I’m going to go and get that. I can come meet you after.”

“That’s fine,” Liam said. “We can wait for you to begin the movie.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll just catch up when I do.”

“You sure?” he asked.

“Positive!”

They separated outside of the school’s field, Liam and Clara going toward the dorms, while Louis cut past others and walked toward the gymnasium. Harry better have something important to say to him because it was cold and Louis wanted to be indoors already. He lingered outside of the emergency exit door, hidden in the shadows. This door faced the forest and it was entirely dark except for some lamp posts a few feet away.

A few minutes later, the door opened and Harry appeared, freshly showered and wearing a pair of sweatpants and a Saint Augustine crewneck. He grinned when he saw Louis, approaching him and immediately pulling him into a searing kiss. Louis instinctively molded into him, allowing Harry to wrap his arms around his waist and draw him close. His mouth was warm and inviting, rendering Louis dizzy as his eyes fluttered shut. It felt good. It felt like he should have been doing this for the last two weeks instead of avoiding this boy.

Harry darted the tip of his tongue out, parting Louis’ lips, and swallowing the quiet moan he emitted. He slanted Louis’ head up and deepened the kiss like he was just as hungry as Louis felt. When it felt like they’d had their fill, Louis struggled to tear his mouth from Harry’s, his breathing heavy.

“I’ve missed doing that,” Harry murmured, moving away from Louis’ mouth to pepper his face with wet, sloppy kisses.

Louis squirmed, softly shoving him back, acting like he was put off. “Don’t be gross.”

“You came to my game,” Harry pointed out instead.

“Yeah. So?”

“I’m just happy,” Harry smiled at him.

“Are you?” Louis co*cked his head to the side.

“Yes,” Harry insisted, pressing his mouth on Louis’ cheek. “Why are you asking?”

“I’m just surprised to hear you say that since you haven’t really texted me,” he shrugged casually.

Harry breathed out a laugh. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to. I wanted to give you space. See if you’d come to me.”

“So you were testing me?” Louis asked.

“Kind of,” Harry replied. His face hovered less than an inch away from Louis’ and the smell of his spearmint gum was maddening. He leaned up to kiss him on the mouth once, dragging his hot lips across Harry’s jaw, before pushing him away.

“I guess that’s fair.”

“Are you mad?” Harry asked, looking entirely too delighted at the thought.

Louis didn’t respond, staring at him with a deadpan expression.

“Louis,” Harry whined despite the smile on his face. “You’re not an easy person to read. I don’t know what’s going to set you off. My contact name on your phone is literally ‘leave me alone’.”

Louis couldn’t help but snicker gleefully at Harry’s reaction. “I’m not mad. It’s whatever. Congrats on the win, by the way.”

“Thank you.” His smile was sheepish, almost shy.

“Was that first touchdown mine then?” Louis asked, remembering Harry’s promise from last year.

“They were all yours,” Harry replied matter of factly.

Louis rolled his eyes, eyes transfixed by the dark pink of Harry’s lips. Like strawberries. “Okay, weirdo.”

“There’s a bonfire tonight,” Harry told him. “In celebration of the win. You should come.”

Louis hadn’t heard about it and figured Liam and Clara hadn’t either since they didn’t mention it. It was probably just for the team and the inner crew. He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Harry asked, actually looking put off.

“Not everyone’s invited or going,” Louis pointed out.

“I’m inviting you.”

Louis widened his eyes. “We can’t be seen together, Harry. People will talk.”

“And that’s so bad?” Harry asked. “We’re just going to hang out.”

“It’s going to cause a stir,” Louis replied. “I’ve had my fair share of those already this year. I’d like to lay low.”

Harry’s pillowy bottom lip jutted out and Louis burst into laughter. “Don’t laugh,” Harry frowned at him.

“I just think it’s hilarious that you’re so obsessed with me,” Louis remarked. “First you can’t stop kissing me anytime you get me alone. And then you beg me to come and f*ck you. And now, you want me to come to some bonfire to hang out with you because all of your other friends bore you. It’s truly comical. But it’s fine. This is a safe space. I won’t judge you...much.”

Harry snorted. “You’re the opposite of a safe space. And you’re also the one who showed up to my game.”

“I just came to watch a game. You’re the one who invited me into this dark corner to ambush me with your lips!”

“God,” Harry groaned out loud with a laugh. “You’re so difficult. And annoying. And delusional. How does your therapist deal with you?”

“Dick.”

“I may have invited you here, but you didn’t have to come.”

“Are you done?” Louis asked, sounding bored. “I’ve got plans. And you’re keeping me.”

“So annoying,” Harry groaned again, leaning forward to pull him close again. He pressed his lips to Louis’ jaw before burying his face in the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply. “Fine. Don’t come tonight, but next time I ask to do something, you have to agree.”

“I don’t have to do sh*t,” Louis scoffed.

“Please? I’ll owe you sexual favors.”

Louis watched him with gleaming eyes and then sighed. “Fine. Maybe.”

Harry grinned, his lips skating over Louis’. Louis kissed him and Harry parted his lips again. His tongue found Louis’ and Louis sighed into it.

₊˚⊹♡

As much as Louis strived for perfection, there were times when he came up a little short.

Sometimes his test scores weren’t as high as he wanted, or a paper came back with an A- instead of an A+. Or sometimes he completely botched a swim meet, too distracted by the fact that every teammate of his had their family come to see them, except for his own.

He should know better than to get distracted by something that was inevitable. Something that he should completely stop having expectations about because time and time again, it was proven to him that, as much as his parents loved him and supported him, they were also absent from his life, even when he needed them to be there. He understood that their careers took priority for them, just like his education and success were a priority for him. He knew that because of that, their work schedules kept them busy, but sometimes it still hurt when all he wanted was for them to pay attention so that they’d be proud.

Louis felt pathetic thinking these thoughts. He also felt pathetic after his performance at the swim meet. He didn’t lose, but he knew he could have done a lot better. With thoughts of his parents and the meet weighing him down, he changed after his meet, took his duffle bag, and headed over to Harry’s dorm.

They’d been meeting up more frequently since he’d attended the football game. It felt easier to release whatever pent-up frustration and energy they had together as opposed to ignoring it and letting it fester like an annoying itch. Usually, they met up in Louis’ room and they always talked before that to make sure Louis could fit Harry into his schedule, but today, Louis was ignoring all of that. He knew he had work to do, but he couldn’t shake off everything he was feeling.

When Harry opened his door, he initially looked surprised but welcomed Louis in with a lazy grin on his face. “Wasn’t expecting you to come over.”

“Is it okay?” Louis asked, glancing at him warily.

“Yeah,” Harry said, closing the door behind him. “You okay?”

Louis shrugged, taking in Harry’s usual messy room; it was similar to his own, but more disorganized. Harry also had a lot more posters of random bands and art pieces up on the walls. “Just a lot going on and I’m tired. And horny.”

“Okay...do you want to nap?”

“We don’t nap together, Styles,” he snapped, letting his bad mood get to him. “We f*ck. Now, are you going to get me off or not?”

Harry laughed, not even phased by his tone. “You just seem grumpy and naps are best when you’re grumpy.”

Louis didn’t respond as he dropped his duffle bag down in the corner of the room. He tugged his t-shirt off as he made his way toward Harry’s unmade, yet cozy-looking bed. By the time he’d slid his shorts and boxers off, Harry had joined him on the bed, sitting down as he eyed Louis curiously.

“Stop staring,” Louis huffed out as he placed his palms over Harry’s chest and laid him back.

Harry was malleable as he chuckled and relaxed on his back. Louis mounted him, straddling his waist as he began reaching for the hem of Harry’s shirt until Harry’s hand stilled him.

“Hold on,” Harry said, a small crease between his brows. “Is that — are you — did you shave?”

Frowning back, Louis nodded. “Yes?”

“Your whole body?” Harry confirmed as if Louis wasn’t completely stark naked in front of him.

“Yes, Harry. I have to. I’m a swimmer.”

Harry swallowed thickly, eyes transfixed on Louis’ lower region. “I think I remember hearing about that. It improves your agility when you’re in the water, or something?”

Louis exhaled a quiet laugh. “Yes. What’s wrong with you? Is it turning you off or something?”

He didn’t think it was that weird. His hair was quite thin and light as it was, so it hardly showed. Before every meet, he did a full body shave, a routine he quite liked and found soothing. Anything to help him move better. To his surprise, Harry shook his head, licking his lips as his eyes traced every inch of Louis’ body. It then became obvious to Louis that Harry liked his clean-shaven body and watching the way his eyes roved over Louis made goosebumps spread down his neck and across his chest.

“Can I touch?” Harry asked, quiet and raspy.

Nodding, Louis sat still with bated breath and watched as the other boy slowly traced the calloused pads of his fingers over the smooth skin of Louis’ lower stomach. Louis let out a shaky breath, allowing Harry to graze his fingers over every inch of his stomach, legs, and thighs before they reached his crotch. Each brush of his fingers went straight to Louis’ co*ck, hardening it. It didn’t help that he could feel Harry getting hard as well, the bulge growing beneath Louis’ butt. Unable to stay still any longer, Louis shifted his hips forward and back, grinding down over Harry’s co*ck.

“Louis,” Harry gasped sharply, eyes clenching shut. “f*ck.”

Louis began moving more feverishly, but Harry gripped his thighs, stilling him once more. “Do something,” Louis begged, trying to move his hips to no avail.

“Come here,” Harry said. “Come close.”

Sliding forward, Louis got as far as Harry’s torso, but Harry kept urging him further up with his palms pushing on Louis’ lower back. “What are you —”

“Sit on my face,” Harry said, his voice hoarse.

“What?”

“Sit on my face. I want to eat you out.”

“Is that — can you breathe?”

Theo had attempted to rim Louis once, but he’d never taken his time or been particularly good at it, so they’d never tried it again.

“I’ll be fine. I just want to taste you. I want to feel you,” Harry said, his eyes imploring. Lush, dark green like ivy. Wrapping around Louis like a vice. “Please, Louis. You look — f*ck, you look delectable.”

“Okay,” Louis nodded shakily. “Yeah.”

He slowly moved up and Harry helped maneuver him so that he was able to hold on to the mahogany headboard while his ass hovered over Harry’s face. Once he was situated, Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ thighs and lowered him down, his fingers digging into Louis’ flesh. The position automatically stretched his cheeks apart, giving Harry the perfect view of his hole.

Harry hummed to himself as he traced his finger down his crack and to the puckered part of his hole. “Harry,” Louis urged, feeling breathless and antsy.

The warmth of Harry’s tongue melted against Louis and he felt his entire body bloom with heat. f*ck, that felt eons better than whatever Theo had done, and Harry was barely starting. Louis’ knuckles became white with how hard he was holding onto the headboard while Harry lapped over his taint in a sensual rhythm, curling his tongue and caressing it. He began pushing the tip of his tongue against Louis’ hole, teasing as he circled it and pushed. When the tip sank inside, all Louis could do was moan loudly. He instinctively pushed his hips down, thrusting his hole on Harry’s face, and Harry sucked on it, getting it wet and messy with his saliva.

“You’re so f*cking hot,” Harry rasped. “f*cking whining and moaning like that just on my tongue.”

Harry continued to feast on Louis, pressing his tongue over and over Louis’ hole until it easily began to give way. Louis was physically shaking, rolling his hips into the pressure. With each tilt of his hips, Harry ravaged and devoured him like he hadn’t eaten in days. When he replaced his tongue with two of his fingers, hooking them inside of Louis, Louis arched his back, dropping his head forward, and whimpered. His body thrummed from the intensity of it while Harry curled his fingers deep inside until he reached his prostate, rubbing over it slowly.

“Harry,” Louis gasped, one of his hands coming down to twist into Harry’s hair. He pulled harshly, digging into his scalp, all the while Harry began to suck on his hole again, teasing around the edges as he spread him open. Louis felt Harry’s breath hitch against him and frowned softly before craning his neck to see Harry’s hand around his own co*ck as it spurted ropes of come. The realization that Harry got himself off just from eating Louis out made his stomach flip.

Facing forward, Louis thrust down on Harry’s face, tugging viciously at his hair. He was suddenly desperate to come and Harry was desperate to get him there. He now had three fingers f*cking into him, the stretch both burning and bringing him to the edge. The rush of pleasure climbed down Louis’ spine and he let go. His thighs quaked, bracketing Harry’s ears, as he began writhing and crying out while coming. He clamped his legs around Harry’s skull in a death grip as he shook from one of his most intense org*sms ever.

Harry removed his fingers, but he immediately thrust in his tongue, f*cking into him even as he was coming down. Louis’ face felt wet and he realized he’d teared up from how overwhelming that had been. Slumping backward, he closed his eyes in exhaustion, and Harry rolled them over so Louis was lying on his back beside him. He felt long fingers tangle in his still wet hair, and Louis’ eyes slowly fluttered open.

When he met Harry’s gaze, there was wolfish, smug satisfaction in his expression. Harry’s whole face was flushed and Louis tilted his head up until their mouths met, soft brushes of lips.

“Nap time?” Harry asked.

Louis’ eyes were already drooping closed as he nodded and gave in.

₊˚⊹♡

Louis followed Liam into their History classroom. Since lunch period was still going on, the room was empty save for two other students and their teacher, Mr. Bernstein. They both took their usual seats and Louis unpacked his planner from his book bag to make sure he’d written in the homework assignment for his last class. Liam also took out his books before turning to face Louis.

“I need to get Clara a gift for our two year anniversary,” he said.

“Two years already?” Louis asked.

“Time flies when you’re in love,” Liam said wistfully.

“Okay, cheeseball,” Louis laughed. “What are the options? Have you thought of anything?”

“She’s big on bracelets. She’s got this one charm bracelet and she’s been collecting charms. I could get her a couple of those!”

“That would be really nice. Anything else?”

“You know how she likes painting. I saw really nice watercolor paint sets online and I was thinking of one of those,” Liam continued.

Louis nodded, listening patiently as Liam rambled on about the different sites he’d visited, but then his eyes drifted to the hallway outside. Harry was standing out there talking to a group of people. There was this air of ease and confidence that oozed out of him as he spoke, lips spread wide in a co*cky smile while he chewed his gum. Everyone in that group was eating out of the palm of his hand, hanging on to his every word as he ran his fingers through his curly, chestnut locks. It was so gross and despicable how Harry could look like that. Louis couldn’t stand him, honestly. It literally hurt to look at him because all Louis wanted to do was tackle him but also f*ck him into the ground.

Speaking of f*cking him, they had mind-blowing sex last night. Louis came twice and Harry fingered him while Louis f*cked him. Just thinking about it made Louis’ body flush with heat. Maybe that was why Harry looked so calm and cool. He had the best sex of his life, thanks to Louis. He’d said as much last night. He made this one face after he came where he had a dopey, hazy grin on his face. Louis called it his ‘just f*cked’ expression. Then there was the one where he scrunched his nose and sniffled, blinking all slow, which Louis called his ‘just f*cked and can’t do anything else now’ face. He had no idea when he’d started cataloging all of Harry’s expressions and memorizing them, but he couldn’t help it. Harry was so expressive all the time.

“Louis. Dude,” Liam said, snapping his fingers in front of Louis’ eyes.

Louis startled, looking away from Harry and back at Liam, who was giving him an unamused look. “Sorry,” Louis said softly. “I got a bit distracted.”

“I can tell,” Liam chortled. “So what’s Harry done now?”

Giving him a completely blank look, Louis shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Don’t insult my intelligence, Louis,” he scoffed. “I can tell that you guys are talking a lot now. Probably doing a lot more than that, if I’m right.”

“What do you mean?” he frowned.

“Louis,” Liam sighed. “I know.”

“What do you know?” Louis asked, still feigning ignorance.

“I know you guys are, like, banging, dude.”

Louis stared at him in alarm, eyes widening. “What?”

“I saw you.”

“What do you mean you saw me?” Louis continued to probe instead of just confessing.

“I saw him kiss you by the library one night,” Liam replied. “Me and Clara were out taking a walk pretty late. And yeah, we saw you.”

f*ck. Louis knew it was risky kissing right outside of the library, but Harry was all over him that day, eager to touch him after Louis told him no hanky panky until they were done with their homework. It was late and since no one was outside, Louis had relented to some heavy kissing and groping. He didn’t think they’d get caught. He stared at Liam resolutely before sighing softly.

“Fine. Yes. We are hooking up,” Louis said.

“Oh my God,” Liam gasped, covering his mouth.

“It’s not what you think! It’s just sex. I swear,” he told him.

“Just sex? Since when are you having just sex with the guy you can’t stand?”

“For a few weeks now,” Louis shrugged, feeling cornered. “It’s just to release some tension. I still hate him!”

“You don’t f*ck a guy for weeks and continue to hate him,” Liam remarked. “This makes so much sense now. Your obsession has become twofold now. I had told Clara it was getting bad and then we saw you kiss and had no idea what to think.”

“I am not obsessed with him.”

Maybe he was a little obsessed with him, but he didn’t feel like being called out about it.

“Are you sure?” Liam asked. “Louis, this is you we’re talking about.”

“I know,” Louis said. “I promise. It’s fine. It’s just temporary.”

“Damn. I can’t even picture you two doing all of that.”

Louis grimaced. “I beg you not to try and picture me having sex with him.”

“Not like that,” Liam blushed. “I meant just in general. It’s weird. You have to admit it’s weird.”

“Yes, but it also just somehow works. I can’t explain it. We’re still the same. We still insult each other and can’t stand each other. But now there’s this added benefit.”

“Right,” Liam said slowly. “And you’re sure this isn’t anything more?”

“No,” Louis firmly shook his head. “Harry’s just a boy. I have complete control of this situation.”

Louis was always in control. He knew exactly what he was doing. But for some reason, Liam didn’t look convinced.

₊˚⊹♡

The holidays were typically a quiet time in the Tomlinson household. Growing up, Louis rarely remembered a time when they were all together and fully present with each other. William was usually holed up in his office, hosting meetings or scheduling more rallies. Lenora had a habit of poring over her case files throughout the day and then taking dinners in her office while talking with demanding clients on the phone. With both of them doing their own thing, Louis learned to keep to himself as well. He found ways to entertain himself, which mostly meant school work or watching a movie or show that intrigued him on TV. Being home was more boring than he liked to admit because he didn’t have all the distractions that Saint Augustine provided.

However, on rare occasions, William or Lenora, or even both, were able to sit down for dinner with Louis. Surprisingly, that was the case this Thanksgiving.

Their chef, Bonnie, had made a large spread. There was a variety of stuffing, mashed potatoes, roasted veggies, brown rice, and of course, a large roast turkey. Lenora had also hired some people to come and decorate their house with festive streamers, bows, and lights. With their fireplace lit up, it all gave the room and the night a really cozy feeling. Louis found himself in a great mood. It was rare that he had these moments with his parents and he wanted to take full advantage of it.

“Have you got enough turkey, Louis?” Lenora asked him as she passed over the string beans.

“I’m good for now, thanks,” he replied as he served himself. “Bonnie did a really good job.”

“It helps that we gave her that raise last month,” William chimed in. “I know she wanted to leave.”

“Leave?” Louis gasped. “I really hope she doesn’t.” He’d grown up eating Bonnie’s food. Lenora wasn’t much of a cook so Bonnie was who he relied on most of the time to whip up his favorites when he was home.

“No worries about that now,” Lenora told him with a placating smile. “How long are you home for?”

“Just until Sunday morning and then I’m headed back to campus.”

“If you want to stay an extra day, you should. You know we can have you dropped off whenever you need,” she added.

“I really should head back. Almost the end of term so there’s lots to do,” replied Louis.

Lenora was always goading him into staying home or coming over on random weekends. Louis assumed it was because she felt good about him being near, but what she also seemed to not realize was that even when Louis did stay back, they didn’t really spend time with him. Staying back only reminded him of how lonely it could get around here, and honestly, he’d rather be alone back on campus than in a quiet home with no one to talk to. William, on the other hand, always pushed Louis to go back to school and enjoy his time there while he still could. It was confusing for Louis sometimes.

“Classes have been really good,” he informed them, eager to continue the conversation and tell them how he’d been doing. “I’ve done well on almost all of my exams so far. There were a couple of hiccups, but nothing a little extra credit won’t resolve. And you know all of my papers are perfection.”

William grinned. “That’s great, son. Always good to aim high.”

“I’m on track to be number 1 this year,” Louis continued. “I’m pretty sure that I’ll be valedictorian for graduation.”

Lenora finished swallowing her bite of food before saying, “Can’t believe it’s almost that time.”

“Just six months left,” Louis agreed. “It’s kind of crazy to think that it’s almost over. I’m relieved, but also excited to finally get what I’ve been working for all this time.”

“You sound awfully confident,” William remarked. “I’ve always liked that about you. But what will you do if you don’t become valedictorian?”

Louis’ lips pressed into a thin line. “What do you mean if I don’t? I have to be.”

“Louis,” Lenora sighed, trying to smile as she put her fork down. “Darling, I know you want to be the best, but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to be a bit realistic. You were the second in class rankings last year and I’m sure that will count toward the headmaster’s decision on who will be valedictorian this year.”

The reminder of last year’s scores made Louis want to vomit everything he’d eaten so far. Telling his parents about it was humiliating and such a telling moment. They knew he’d been working toward it all year and he had still failed. Though they didn’t visibly show it, he knew they were disappointed by the outcome, even though he’d only been off by .1%. Had he been number one, it would have been a very different reaction. The one Louis always yearned for.

It just wasn’t fair because he’d done everything he could to try and be number one. He didn’t know what more he could do. He didn’t know how much more he could push himself. All day and night, all Louis ever thought about was his studies. He thought about his notes, his papers, and his exams. He thought about his lectures and forced himself to memorize every inch of his textbook to the detriment of his sleep and mental health. The only moment he wasn’t thinking about that was when he was swimming, but now swimming had become another thing that he put pressure on himself for. Beat every team out with the fastest time and beat the school record, too.

He supposed now he had Harry as a distraction from the mess that was his head. Before, Harry only reminded him of everything standing in his way of being number one. Now, Harry was starting to become someone who could help him forget about everything. He allowed Louis to take control and use his body as a vessel to release all of that pent-up energy. Louis had never had this. He’d never had someone who was okay with that, but Harry seemed to be.

But Harry was also the reason he would potentially not be valedictorian and just the thought was getting to Louis. It all came down to this. Louis would never be good enough. No matter how hard he tried, everything he was doing would be for nothing.

Louis’ eyes stung and his nose burned as fresh tears pooled down his cheeks. He didn’t realize how hard he was clutching his fork until his mother reached for his palm and took it from him.

“Louis, honey. Come on, darling,” she said to him softly. “Don’t do this. We’re just trying to eat.”

“I’m not doing anything,” he whispered hoarsely.

“You’re causing a scene at the dinner table because you don’t like what you’re hearing. But it’s only the truth. It’s time you start thinking more critically of yourself. Being blindly confident won’t get you anywhere. It will only lead to disappointment,” William pointed out, still eating as he gave Louis a look.

“It’s not about that,” Louis spat at him, his tears blurring his vision. “Don’t make me out to be a spoiled brat stomping around and throwing tantrums. This is my life. This is my future. I’m allowed to be upset if my parents don’t believe in me!”

“That’s not what I said, Louis. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“You’re the one —”

“Your father’s just trying to put things into perspective for you,” Lenora interrupted Louis, her expression much softer than his father’s. “Why are you crying?”

Louis couldn’t explain why. He’d never told them how he truly felt about them, his studies, and everything he did. He never fully opened up because he didn’t want to give them the opportunity to try and convince him that he was crazy for thinking the way he did. All they ever did was invalidate his feelings. When he’d tried opening up to them years ago, it didn’t work out; they’d written it off as puberty and his hormones acting up. With a pat on his back and a small smile, they’d left him alone in his bedroom. It was awful. He’d never felt more confused and crazier than he did at that moment.

“Just wipe your tears and let’s eat dinner,” William said, attempting to try and console him.

“I’m not hungry,” Louis gritted out, roughly wiping at his cheeks.

“Louis,” he sighed.

“Don’t talk to me like that. Don’t talk to me like I’m a child. Like I’m crazy.”

“Louis, that’s not what your fath —”

“All you ever do is support him!” Louis interrupted his mom with a shout. “You act like you’re the nicer one out of the two of you, but you’re actually just as bad as him.”

William put down his fork and knife on his plate, turning both Louis and Lenora’s attention to him. “Louis, I don’t understand what we said wrong.”

“You won’t understand,” he said, his voice breaking as he let out an inaudible sob. “I feel like I’m suffocating. I feel like I’m going to lose my mind and I’m going to just disappear.”

“You shouldn’t put yourself under so much pressure if all that it’s doing is making you feel this way,” Lenora said, reaching for his hand, which he quickly snatched away. “We never asked you to do this.”

“Louis,” William added. “You’re a brilliant kid. You’re truly so wise beyond your years and your work ethic is great for your age. I don’t have any doubt that you’ll excel in everything you do, but you act like everything is the end of the world if it doesn’t go your way. We know this seems like a big hurdle, but you’ll get past it. This is just one part of it. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’re only 18, son.”

“I know it feels like all of this is a lot right now,” Lenora continued. “But it will get better the more you grow. You’ll realize that as you get older. Right now, it probably feels like we’re against you, but we’re not. We love you.”

Louis couldn’t muster up a response. The fight was leaving him. He had no idea how to get his parents to see that they were entirely missing the point. By showing him vague support and without fully trying to understand him and what he was saying, they were both hoping to just brush this under the rug and get on with their nights.

It all came back to his age and how everything he did was self-inflicted. All Louis wanted to do was show them that he was good and worthy. That everything he did was for them. He felt a tightness in his chest at the thought of the rest of his life. Would he always be quietly misunderstood by them forever? By everyone around him? He may have the rest of his life ahead of him, but he felt like he’d already given everyone the best parts of him. There was nothing else left.

₊˚⊹♡

On Saturday, there was a massive donation drive in town. Most townspeople gathered at the Beacon Hills Town Hall with canned food, toys, and other things they wanted to donate. To entice more of the community to show up, the mayor had several local businesses and vendors set up tables and shops, offering free samples of food and half-priced items. It worked and the whole downtown area was teeming with people.

Louis reluctantly arrived with his parents even though he hadn’t really spoken to them since the disastrous Thanksgiving dinner. He was still really upset about that and he also wasn’t looking forward to going back to school because it only reminded him how incapable he felt in regard to his future. It had all left a really sour taste in his mouth and he just wanted to wallow.

William and Lenora let him keep to himself. They seemed to think that allowing Louis to work through his emotions on his own would build character. At least that was what Louis heard them whisper to each other in their bedroom when he passed by their door the other night. Hearing that only angered Louis further so he had been giving them the silent treatment. Showing up to the donation drive was more so that he could get rid of some of his old stuff. The moment he arrived, he ran off on his own, depositing his old clothes and some old toys he’d found in the back of his closet in the designated spots.

From there, Louis wandered around, checking out each of the vendors. He tried a few of the food samples and also bought a tiny, black pocket notebook from a local shop owner. He wasn’t sure what he’d use it for, but he was always a sucker for stationary items. With his new purchase in hand, Louis walked toward a more secluded area. He found an empty bench under a large willow tree, settling down with a sigh and a slump to his shoulders. He had no idea what would help him with his mood, so maybe his parents were right. All he needed to do was let it naturally pass. Maybe they were right about everything and he really was just a dramatic teenager who needed to stop feeling so sorry for himself.

The thoughts brought a fresh bout of tears to his eyes and he quickly wiped them away. Not right now. Not in front of everyone.

As his eyes scanned the crowds, they fell on Jack Styles in the center of it all. He had a young woman on his arm, the two of them looking loved up as they kissed in front of all the onlookers. Not too far behind, Louis spotted Harry. He had a frown on his face that was more despair than anger. Louis wasn’t used to that. He guessed they were both having terrible Thanksgiving breaks.

Louis’ thoughts drifted back to the summer when he’d seen Harry looking utterly defeated when his father left him in the hallway of Mayor Campbell’s house. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that happened often. Louis knew every family had problems, but for some reason, he’d always assumed Harry had a great relationship with his dad since he seemed to be following in his footsteps as closely as he was. That night, it surely didn’t look like it, but who was he to judge?

He wasn’t really in the mood to go over and speak to Harry at the moment, but he could tell Harry probably wasn’t either. Maybe they’d just link up when they got back on campus tomorrow. He took his phone out and began reading random articles to pass the time. A while later, Louis stood up, stretching his legs, before making his way back toward the event. He had no idea where his parents were, but he hoped they were ready to leave now that it was mid day. As he wandered around, looking for them, he stumbled upon Jack instead. He was standing in the shadows between two port-a-potties, index finger raised as he spoke to someone out of the frame with a quiet yet aggressive tone.

Frowning, Louis surreptitiously stood by and tried to listen. He couldn’t hear anything he was saying, but then, he heard Harry’s voice. Loud and clear.

“I’m f*cking over it! You never listen to me.”

“You will not raise your tone with me,” Jack spat out.

“I don’t have to listen to sh*t you tell me because you never show the same respect toward me,” Harry countered.

“How can I respect you when you’re trying to cause a scene at a town event and embarrass me? You’re throwing a tantrum, Harry. Grow the f*ck up. You’re spoon-fed everything in your life. Handed anything you want. I give you everything, and you don’t even have the decency to appreciate what you have.”

Harry sneered. “If you actually listened to me, you’d know I don’t want any of this. This is all you.”

“Get yourself together and leave,” Jack ordered, his tone icy. “I’ve had enough of you.”

He began walking away and Louis quickly righted himself. He’d been listening so closely, he didn’t realize he’d leaned toward them in a super creepy way. As Jack walked past Louis and a couple of other townsfolk who looked like they hadn’t heard anything, Louis looked toward where Harry had been standing but he was no longer there. Louis walked around the port-a-potties to see which way he went and then spotted him further down the road. Without thinking twice, Louis sprinted after him. He ran all the way past the downtown area before he caught up.

“Harry,” he panted out, trying to get his attention.

Harry stopped upon hearing his name, frowning in confusion when he saw Louis there. “Louis? What are you doing here?”

“I came with my parents,” answered Louis. “Are you leaving?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I — I can’t be here anymore.”

“Can I come?” Louis asked.

“Yeah,” Harry replied. “I kind of have a plan. Are you down?”

“I’m down,” Louis said easily as he followed him.

Turned out, Harry lived close by. He led Louis to his family’s mansion and the first thing Louis noticed was the cherry red vintage Jaguar in the driveway.

“You want to get in?” Harry asked, gesturing to the car. “I’m going to go and get something from inside.”

“This is your car?” Louis confirmed.

Harry smiled, looking bemused at Louis’ shell-shocked expression. “Yeah. Why?”

“Of course, it is,” Louis sighed. He took the keys from Harry and unlocked the car, taking a seat in the passenger side. It smelled like spearmint and Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille. He waited patiently for another moment or so before Harry emerged from the large front doors with a bottle of Jäger in hand. He got into the driver’s seat and deposited the bottle on Louis’ lap and he smiled, feeling something loosen in his chest as Harry backed out of the driveway and drove off.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived on top of a lookout that Louis had never been to. The view was spectacular, spanning miles and miles of forest trees and hills. There was still color amongst the leaves as most of them hadn’t fallen down yet. The two of them got out of the car and Louis followed Harry as he propped up on top of the hood of the car. Unscrewing the bottle of Jäger, Harry took a large swig before handing it to Louis, who did the same. He winced at the initial taste and passed it back to Harry, the two of them quiet as they continued to do that for a while. Soon, Louis felt his mind succumbing to it. He wasn’t drunk, but he was in that nice in-between where things seemed good and he wasn’t wound up so tight. Harry, on the other hand, still had a tiny pout on his face and Louis came to the quick realization that he hated it. He didn’t like to see Harry upset. Not anymore.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Louis asked him, cutting into the silence.

Harry didn’t respond at first, taking another sip from the bottle. Once he swallowed, he asked, “What do you want to know?”

“Anything you want to share,” Louis said.

Sighing, Harry gave him a sardonic scoff. “Here’s something. I hate football.”

Louis’ brows rose and he stared at Harry in surprise. “Then why do you play? I mean, you’re clearly good at it and I thought you were going pro.”

“I don’t know if I am,” Harry replied with a soft shrug. “I don’t really know what I’m doing if I’m honest with you. This whole football thing...it’s all my dad. It’s all he’s ever pushed me to do. It’s all he’s ever wanted to talk about. He’s constantly on me about it and making sure I’m fit with my workouts and the diets he provides. But I never once told him that I liked this sport. I excelled because he forced me to.”

“I don’t think that’s the only reason,” Louis shook his head. “You’re good at it because you’re talented. You have it in you.”

“But I don’t want it in me,” Harry exhaled, his voice sounding thick. “I don’t enjoy it. Every time he enrolls me in another football camp, I hate it. Every time he monitors what I eat when I come home, I hate it. Every time he shows up to a game and tells me everything I did wrong despite scoring several touchdowns that led to us winning, I hate it. He wants me to be him. He has this weird idea that he created a clone and he’s reliving some nostalgic parts of his life through me. I don’t feel like I’m ever truly living for me. I have to hide so much of myself. Did you know he refuses to accept that I’m bisexual?”

Louis swallowed, shaking his head in response.

“He does. He acts like it’s not a thing. I came out to him when I was 14 and he just laughed it off. He caught me with a guy once and he got so angry. He yelled at me in front of him and kicked the guy out. Since then, when I date guys, I do it secretly.” Harry breathed out heavily. “Jack Styles hates that his son is queer. Pro football players could have their whole careers ruined for stuff like this. He wants me to be with women so I can produce heirs that he can also turn into clones of him. No daughters, he said. It’s all about what he wants. f*ck me, right? He had some nerve to yell at me back there about throwing a tantrum when all he ever does is berate me if I even step a toe out of line.”

“So, what do you want?” Louis asked him. “If you could have anything right now, what would you want?”

Harry laughed wetly. “I want a chance to figure out what I want. I want to just be a kid for once without all of these expectations. That’s all anyone ever has — expectations that I feel compelled to deliver on. And maybe my dad is right in some aspects. I do get a lot of what I want. If I want any materialistic thing, he hands me his credit card. If I want a guy or a girl, I win them over easily. If I want a good grade, it happens. Living like this creates a weird state of mind. I almost get bored of getting everything I want. But all of these things I’m chasing after, I’m doing it just so I can keep proving to myself that I can. Maybe what I really want is to lose for once.”

“You want to lose?” asked Louis.

“Losing isn’t in your vocabulary, I know,” Harry said, looking at Louis with a teasing gleam in his eye. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“No,” Louis said. “I do get it. I understand what you mean. But you’re right. I don’t like to lose.”

Harry’s teeth sank over his plush bottom lip. “You know that time last year when I got upset with you for not coming to the game?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve always felt drawn to you in an inexplicable way. And at that point, we’d been working together on that project, so I thought that maybe things were changing and we could get along, or whatever. You coming to that game would have been nice. I would have known that at least one person in the crowd didn’t have expectations from me, didn’t expect me to pull out wins. That even if I lost, it’d be okay. So when you didn’t show, I was hurt. I took it out on you and I’m sorry. I don’t think you could have ever known that that was what I was thinking.”

Guilt gnawed at Louis, his cheeks burning in shame upon hearing Harry’s words. “I’m sorry,” he quietly said. “I really didn’t know.”

“Like I said, you couldn’t have,” he chuckled before glancing at Louis. “I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone what I told you today.”

“You can trust me,” Louis reassured him, his expression earnest.

“I know,” Harry breathed out. “I know I can trust you. I do trust you. I mean, I never talk to other people like I talk to you. And I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything as well. Whatever you tell me, it’s safe. I can tell you hold so much in and you don’t have to pretend around me. I wouldn’t ever judge you.”

Louis faltered at first, his mind immediately going to shut down, abort, back up. But the more he listened to Harry, the more tempting it became to open up. All Louis wanted was for someone to understand him and not make him feel like he was insane. The more Louis thought about it, the more he realized how similar they were. While their problems weren’t exactly the same, he could see so much of his own pain and struggles in Harry. For the first time, Louis decided to let it all out, just like Harry had.

“Growing up, my parents were never really around,” he began. “At first, I begged, cried, and demanded their attention, but most of the time, I was left to my own devices with whatever nanny they’d hired for me. The first time I truly felt like I had their attention was when I brought home a stellar report card. School was always something I could focus on so I wasn’t reminded of things like a lack of friends or family time. In second grade, I really put my all into it, and that was when it began. For the first time, they were spending some time with me. They took me out to an amusem*nt park and were fully present with me. It was a reward for doing well in school because good grades are important to them. From that point on, it became an adrenaline rush of some sort. Be at the top of the class and earn their love and attention.

“It isn’t that they don’t love me, but I don’t think they realize that this is all I have to show for myself to them. To show them that I’m worthy of their time, more than their co-workers or clients or work. I understand they’re both very important people with important jobs, or whatever, but I want to be just as important to them. That’s why I have this need to push and push to be the best at everything at any cost. Even if that means losing sleep or pushing my body and brain to its limits.”

“This is why you pull all-nighters before exams?” Harry asked, his brows furrowed.

Louis nodded. “I’m not the best test taker, so I just overstudy everything. I don’t take breaks. I don’t stop memorizing until the exam is completed. It’s the only way I can guarantee a good result and also minimize the stress and anxiety I feel if I potentially answer a question wrong or walk into the exam hall without feeling prepared. And now, lately, my parents just sound so discouraging. It doesn’t feel like they think I have it in me. In turn, they criticize me for being hard on myself as if it’s not partially their doing. They tell me to be realistic about not being at the top of the class or valedictorian, and that hurts to hear after everything I did to get to where I am now. It invalidates all the work I’ve done.”

He sucked in a breath and exhaled shakily while Harry sat perfectly still beside him and listened. “I know there’s probably so many things wrong with me, but this is who I am...who I’ve become. I am intense. I get obsessed with wanting to be the best. I am neurotic and I’m no fun, but this is me. To be told otherwise hurts. I can’t even picture a future where I don’t achieve my goals. If all of this is for nothing, then what? What will I have to show for it? It would all be wasted. It makes me sick to think about that. Not to mention, my mom said this thing to me the other night that I can’t stop thinking about.”

“What did she say?” Harry asked.

“She said that it all gets better. The more I grow, it’ll get better. But what if I don’t? What if I’m always like this? What if I have given everything and there’s nothing left?”

“I would disagree,” Harry said, gazing at him softly. “But I don’t think you want to hear any of that right now.”

Louis shook his head. “I don’t. I just needed to tell someone.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Harry said with a small smile.

Louis returned the gesture. “You know, this all reminds me of something.”

“What’s that?”

“The American Dream. The stuff we read about it in The Great Gatsby.”

Harry burst into giggles. “Not that f*cking book again.”

“You don’t agree?” Louis asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Just think about it. We’re both struggling with our different versions of the American Dream. We can’t figure it out. We don’t even know if we really want it. If you ask me, I think it’s a load of bullsh*t. I think it’s designed to make us think it’s what we want and what will make us happy, but really it’s not. I think it’s a sham.”

“I think I agree,” Harry smiled, taking another swig from the bottle before handing it to Louis. “It’s a total lie. I don’t think most Americans want this stupid dream that they speak of.”

Louis hummed in agreement while thumbing over the lip of the bottle. “Tell me another thing that’s a lie.”

Harry peered over at him, expression unreadable. “I love you.”

Louis could have sworn his heart stopped for a moment, clenching in his chest. He felt a spark of a topsy-turvy feeling deep in his stomach before he let out a dry laugh. “You’re a really good liar.”

Harry just smiled, looking down at his lap. “I really, really am.”

Chapter 6: 6 | HARRY

Chapter Text

“Your lips are so soft,” Harry murmured as he tipped Louis’ chin up until their mouths brushed. So soft that Harry could kiss them all day.

Louis let out an unsteady breath and his lips parted hungrily under Harry’s, allowing him to slip his tongue inside of his mouth, kissing him like he was starved for him. Which he kind of was. While they had hooked up a few nights ago, it wasn’t nearly as much as Harry would like for it to happen. They were both busy with classes, of course, but then there were the extracurriculars. Louis had a rigorous swim practice schedule while Harry had football practices almost five days of the week. It left little to no time for them to meet up.

They weren’t even supposed to be making out right now.

Harry had trailed after Louis when he caught him coming out of the dining hall earlier. He followed him all the way to the library where they parked themselves at what Harry had now started calling their table on the fourth floor. It was the table they’d sat at last year when Harry had pulled that ghost prank on Louis. He was growing fond of this space and all of their memories here. Almost no students ever came up to the fourth floor and Frank, the librarian who Louis was obsessed with for some reason, also didn’t bother them too much. The two of them did homework for a couple of hours, only occasionally teasing each other about random things. Then Louis got up to look for a book and Harry, once again, followed him between the shelves and crowded into him.

Surprisingly, Louis was pliant in his arms. The second Harry held him, possessive and tight, Louis completely leaned into him, his weight giving in like a full-body sigh. Almost like he’d been waiting for Harry to do this. He was so much more open toward Harry now since Thanksgiving break. It made sense as they had both opened up to each other about some personal things. Harry felt like they understood each other on a new level now and, because of that, their mutual dislike for each other had dissipated. It was no longer a factor, really.

In fact, Harry would go as far as saying that he cared about Louis, something he never thought he would. He cared about him more than Louis knew, but he’d never tell him that.

Louis wound his hands into Harry’s hair while Harry glided his mouth down to Louis’ throat, pressing soft kisses there. He replaced his lips with his hand, squeezing softly and watching in fascination as Louis gasped, his hooded gaze staring into Harry’s own. This was turning Louis on. Harry had no idea Louis would be into something like that, but as he reached his other hand between them, he could feel Louis’ co*ck thickening and nudging against his palm. Sheer adrenaline coursed through Harry’s veins and he gave Louis’ throat another gentle squeeze, almost teasing, and Louis pulled him close. Their lips met and Louis’ tongue immediately slipped into Harry’s mouth.

Soft whimpers and whines escaped from both of them. Harry’s hands instinctively began reaching for the buttons of their pants and he got Louis’ undone until Louis shoved him back.

“What are you doing?” he hissed, his words rushed.

“I want you,” responded Harry, voice thick as he pressed Louis against one of the shelves. He placed his hands over Louis’ chest, feeling his heart pound under his touch.

“Not here,” Louis shook his head. “I can’t have my dick out in the library. This place is sacred! What if Frank sees? I would not be able to show my face around here for the rest of the year”

Harry chuckled. “Okay, well, I don’t care about all of that. I can get my dick out.”

Louis shook his head again as he pressed his lips together, all prim, proper, and snobby. Harry wanted to devour him. “I can’t give you a hand job right now.”

“Why not?”

“I burned my hand,” Louis explained, raising his palm to show the soft and dark hues of pink where the fresh burn marks were.

Taking Louis’ hand in his, Harry examined it with a crease between his brows. “Hmm, what happened? Did someone splash holy water on you?”

Louis guffawed, shoving Harry back against the opposite shelf. Harry laughed, tugging Louis close to him by his collar. “You’re a dick. I burned it in Chem class. Touched the Bunsen burner by accident while it was on,” Louis informed him. “Just for that comment, I’m not going to get you off for the rest of the week.”

“No,” Harry whined with a pout. “I’ll die.”

“You’ll live.”

“I won’t. For weeks, I’ve been thinking about you fingering me until I come. Untouched. If I don’t fulfill that fantasy, I’m going to perish. Please. No sex bans.”

“You’re literally the most dramatic person I’ve ever met,” Louis snickered. He knew he was the one with the power right now and that was getting to his head. With a co*cky lilt of his brow, he smirked. “It’s cute that you fantasize about me. I know I’m the main character in all of your wet dreams. You can admit it.”

“If I do, will you finish studying in the next hour so we can go back to my dorm for a movie in bed?”

It was a long shot, but Harry figured it was worth a try. Louis was still a bit reluctant when it came to doing stuff together that wasn’t just sex, but he was slowly starting to come around. Now, he often invited himself over to Harry’s dorm for quick power naps and he let Harry sit with him when he was doing schoolwork without making a fuss about him being a distraction. Progress was being made.

“Depends,” Louis hummed. “What movie?”

“This new scary movie I’ve been eyeing on Netflix,” Harry said before making doe eyes at Louis. “Though I should warn you, I get scared really easily and will need you to hold me.”

“I should have known you’d be a little bitch about scary movies,” Louis taunted jokingly.

“Come on,” Harry goaded, covering Louis’ mouth with his own and kissing him softly. “We can cuddle and I’ll give us both handjobs since your hand is burnt.”

Louis burst into giggles and Harry stared in awe. There was something so endearing when Louis laughed or smiled, especially since he held that part of himself so close to his chest. His eyes crinkled at the sides and the blue in them twinkled like every Disney prince Harry ever had a crush on when he was little. God, he loved that smile. It was a sickening thought. One that he would probably never share.

“Fine,” Louis relented. “I’ll wrap up my work and come over. But if this movie sucks, then I want a blow j*b too.”

“You can have whatever you want,” Harry grinned. He meant that. He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but spending time with Louis had become one of his favorite things. Even the most mundane things were fun with him.

₊˚⊹♡

Since Louis had made the first move and came to his football game, Harry felt it was only fair he returned the favor by showing up to one of Louis’ swim meets. He’d never been to one in all his time at Saint Augustine, but he’d always wanted to attend. Making his way inside of the school’s indoor pool room, Harry saw there was a decent crowd forming. Many people had already taken their seats on the bleachers, while a few were still lingering around and chatting. Taking the first available spot he could find, Harry settled down and waited until the referee blew his whistle, signaling that the meet was about to begin.

Louis and the other swimmers came out one by one in a line and Harry was embarrassed by the automatic smile on his face the moment he saw the other boy. He was dressed in his tight, navy blue jammer with his goggles and swim cap on, looking focused as he took his spot in front of his lane. Unable to help himself, Harry let his eyes slowly trail down Louis’ body, taking in the smooth, shaved skin of his stomach and legs. Harry still wasn’t completely used to that. Whenever he thought about his reaction the first time he saw Louis’ shaved body, he got a bit sheepish about how desperate and horny he had become. Even now, he could feel his co*ck chubbing up just from looking at Louis and he had to close his eyes and think of the most off-putting images to get himself to calm down.

While the announcer spoke about the rules and the different races that would take place today, Louis glanced around the crowd, and it appeared to Harry like he was looking for someone. When he felt Louis’ eyes flit over in his direction, Harry gave him a small, timid wave. Louis did a double take and watched him for a long moment. Without being able to fully see his eyes due to his goggles, Harry had no idea what Louis was thinking, but then Louis gave him a discreet nod in greeting before facing forward.

The meet began and Harry learned that Louis specialized in the butterfly stroke and the backstroke, and watching him do his thing was awe-inspiring, but also quite difficult, too. Harry had never been this horny for someone before, but just watching the way Louis moved in the water was getting him worked up. His strength, stamina, and speed were unreal. He beat out every other swimmer every time like an expert. It made Harry feel like what he did out on the football field was nothing. When he had a chance, he was going to ask Louis to teach him how to swim like this. Harry probably wouldn’t be as good as Louis, but he wanted to try and learn anyway.

At the end of the meet, parents and friends of the swimmers got up from their seats to clap for them. Harry cheered loudly, even going as far as pressing his index finger and thumb together, placing them between his lips, and letting out a loud whistle. Those around him as well as some of the swimmers laughed amusedly at his enthusiasm. After getting down from the bleachers along with everyone else, Harry walked over to Louis, who watched him shyly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Hey,” Harry greeted him, offering a wide smile of his own. “You did amazing.”

“You sound surprised,” Louis noted.

“Not surprised,” Harry shook his head. “More just annoyed that I haven’t been to other swim meets or seen you do your thing. I hope it’s okay that I came.”

“Yeah, of course,” Louis reassured him. “Thank you for coming.”

Just then, Liam and his girlfriend, Clara, walked over to them. Harry hadn’t seen the two of them on the bleachers when he’d walked in, so they must have come in after him. They pulled Louis in for hugs as they congratulated him on a job well done. However, as Louis thanked them, his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. In fact, if Harry were to guess, he’d think Louis was kind of down. He wasn’t sure why, but he wanted to know. He’d have thought that after performing so well at the meet, Louis would be ecstatic. But if he was beating himself up over something, Harry wanted to be there for him. Louis was always the hardest on himself, even if it was small mistakes. As he was busy observing Louis, Harry didn’t notice Liam speaking to him until he placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder to get his attention.

“You alright, Harry?” Liam asked, a kind smile on his face.

“Yeah,” Harry replied, nervously running his hand through his hair. He hoped they didn’t notice how obvious he was being about Louis. “Nice to see you both.”

“You, too,” Clara said giddily. “It’s cool of you to show up for Louis!”

“Oh, I wasn’t,” Harry rebutted. “My friend is also on the team. I just happened to see Louis here, so thought I’d say hi.”

Clara’s brows raised in surprise and Liam frowned softly. Louis snorted.

“It’s fine, Harry,” he said. “They know.”

“They know?” asked Harry.

“We know,” Liam confirmed solemnly.

Harry slowly nodded in acknowledgement, unsure of how to respond or react. He watched Louis roll his eyes at the three of them.

“It’s whatever,” Louis sighed. “Not a big deal. I’m going to go change and get back to my dorm. I have so much homework. But thanks for coming. All of you.”

He looked back at Harry once more before leaving, blue eyes digging into the depths of Harry’s heart. He watched Louis walk all the way inside of the locker rooms and didn’t realize he’d dazed off again until Liam, once again, nudged him with a palm over his shoulder.

“You good, dude?”

“Fine,” he replied. “Um, good meet, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Clara replied politely. “Are you headed back to the dorms? We can walk together.”

Harry shook his head no. “Actually, I just remembered I have this thing I have to do. You guys go on ahead.”

Liam smirked. “A thing. Right.”

“We’ll leave you to it. Bye, Harry,” said Clara, a knowing smile on her face as they both headed out with the rest of the attendees.

Harry didn’t know why he didn’t just say that he was going to meet up with Louis. It was almost muscle memory to deny, but he supposed publicly showing up for his mortal enemy with benefits’ swim meet was pretty obvious. Whatever. If Louis didn’t care anymore about people knowing, neither did he. Harry made his way over to the locker rooms and stood outside, waiting for Louis to come out. When he did, he looked confused when he saw Harry standing there.

“Do you want to take a walk?” Harry asked.

“Now?” Louis’ face twisted into an exhausted grimace. “I have homework. I told you when we were out there with Liam and Clara.”

“It won’t take long,” Harry insisted, already putting his arm over Louis’ shoulders and leading him toward the emergency exit doors. Outside, the sun was still shining and there was a cold breeze that greeted them. They walked mostly on the edges of the forest and as far from campus as they could. It was quiet, save for the birds chirping and the muted laughter coming from students in the distance.

Louis cleared his throat and glanced at him. “So was there a reason you asked me to come out and take a walk with you?”

Harry breathed out a laugh. Leave it to Louis to get right to the point. “Kind of. You just seem a bit down, so I wanted to see what was wrong.”

“I’m not down. What are you talking about?”

“You are. I can tell. Tell me what’s wrong, Louis,” Harry persisted, eyes pleading as they looked into Louis’.

Louis sighed heavily. “Why? Why do you want to know?”

“So I can make it better.”

“Harry,” Louis groaned, though his eyes softened and his expression gave him away. Harry hated seeing him upset. Something about it made his chest tighten. “It’s stupid and I don’t really want to make you have to listen to me whine about all of this again.”

“Well, one, you’re not whining. And two, I’m asking you to tell me.”

“You don’t have to be so nice to me. I appreciate it, but I don’t want to burden you with this. I’ll be okay. I just need to get over it.”

“It won’t be a burden,” Harry argued vehemently. “You’re not a burden. I don’t know if I can solve whatever’s going on, but let me help you feel better, at least. Please.”

Louis looked at him, hesitating for a moment before exhaling softly. “I asked my parents to come today. They told me they would. They promised and everything, and they weren’t there. I’m just a bit disappointed, I guess.” He shrugged it off like he wanted Harry to think that he wasn’t phased by it, but Harry could tell he was. He was holding himself back again. But now Harry wouldn’t let him. He wanted to be there for Louis through it all. Through everything.

“I’m sorry they did that. That’s really sh*tty,” he said to him.

Louis chuckled sardonically. “It just sucks, you know? It sucks seeing all of these families coming out to support the other students and mine never do. And I know you and your dad have a tricky relationship, but he still shows up for you, even if he isn’t always great to you.”

“I get that,” Harry agreed. “As much as my dad can be annoying about all of that, I get it.”

Letting out a shaky breath, Louis stared down at the ground with a soft pout on his lips. “It makes me feel so unwanted, Harry. I know I have Liam and Clara, and I love them both so much, but it’s not the same. All my life, I’ve just been so f*cking alone. I take on everything I’m faced with alone — all my successes and losses — to the point where it’s just my default. Even when I was with Theo, I thought of myself as alone. I think that I’m so afraid of people catching me in a vulnerable state that I put up these high walls around me that are impossible to pull down. I’m mean and I’m always ready for a fight because I’m scared of being hurt. I’m always saying terrible things and I always take it too far. I don’t even know how you can stand me half of the time with all of the awful things I’ve said to you. And because of all of that, I am not shocked that Theo cheated on me. I probably pushed him to that point.”

“No, Louis, no —”

“No, Harry, I did,” Louis insisted, his eyes shooting up to meet Harry’s, crazed and emotion-filled. “I know I did. Theo was right. I am difficult to be with. I was waiting for something to go wrong. That’s why I didn’t even fight for him when I heard he cheated. I just immediately ended it because I’d been waiting for something like that to happen.”

“Theo’s a piece of sh*t and he didn’t deserve you! And you just said you have Liam and Clara. They are with you. They love you, Louis,” Harry said to him fiercely. I’m here with you, he wanted to say. Always. As long as you’ll have me.

“I have my guard up with them, too,” Louis confessed, his voice raspy. “I have it up with everyone, but you — you see right through me. How do you see right through me?”

Harry exhaled shakily, reaching for Louis’ hand and lacing their fingers together. “Probably because I see so much of myself in you. We all have our sh*t, Louis. You’re not alone.”

Louis looked away from him. “How are you even nice to me? I’ve always been so f*cking terrible to you.”

“I have been pretty terrible to you, too,” Harry reminded him. “We’ve both f*cked up, but that doesn’t matter anymore, right?”

“I guess not,” Louis admitted. “I regret it, you know?”

“Me, too,” he said, offering Louis a small smile. “I told you, I’ve never hated you.”

“Not even a little?”

“No, you idiot,” Harry laughed. “I would go as far as saying that I like you.”

A rosy hue spread across Louis’ cheeks and he rolled his eyes. “Don’t go mushy on me now.”

“I’m not,” Harry said with a chuckle. “I do like you. I like you how you are, Louis, and it’s killing me that you feel this way about yourself.”

“I’m just being honest. I know how I can be.”

“Yeah, well, I like all of those parts of you. I like how intense you are. I like how you obsess over things and how you go for what you want. I like how you never f*cking let up. You’re incredible, Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis’ eyes glimmered with clear, unshed tears. His lower lips wobbled as he stared up at Harry, a slow smile forming on his lips before breaking out into that grin Harry had fallen for. Just looking at Louis smiling right now made Harry’s chest crack wide open.

“Do you trust me?” he asked Louis.

“Yeah,” Louis replied, quickly and easily.

“Come with me.”

With their hands still entwined, Harry led them down a path through the forest until they entered the main road leading into Mayfair. Louis stared at their surroundings, baffled as he took it all in.

“Did we just leave campus?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Harry replied cheekily. “I know this path through the forest that brings you straight out so you won’t have to go past the front gates of the school and the guards.”

“You just snuck us out of school,” Louis breathed out. “Oh my God, Harry. We could get expelled!”

“We won’t,” Harry reassured him. “Trust me. I’ve done this a few times and I’ve never gotten caught. We’ll be back in no time. Now come on.”

Grumbling only slightly, Louis let Harry lead them into town. Their first stop was Mayfair Bakery where Barbara greeted them with a big smile, remembering them from the year before when they’d come in for their school project. Harry ordered them cups of tea and those cream puff pastries Louis was so obsessed with. Sitting down at an empty table, Harry watched as Louis bit into his pastry and moaned with his eyes fluttering closed.

“This is heaven,” Louis said, his mouth full of cake. As gross as it was, Harry was still endeared. He had no idea why, when he looked at Louis, his mind went completely blank except for the boy in front of him. He felt like he was going a little crazy.

Once they finished eating, Louis had a bright smile on his face, probably due to all the sugar he had. “That was great. Thanks for the treat.”

“Of course,” Harry smiled back.

“Shall we head back?”

“Oh, we’re not done yet.”

“What? Where are we going next?”

“You’ll just have to trust me,” Harry giggled, as he led them to their next destination.

Mayfair didn’t have many bars, but there were a couple that were actually pretty decent. One of them had a karaoke machine, so naturally, Harry went to that one. Walking inside, the bartender nodded over at him in greeting, recognizing him from the few times he’d shown up with Zayn and Niall.

“You want to drink?” Louis asked.

“Not really,” Harry said. “But they have a karaoke machine here and I thought that’d be fun.”

“Oh, no,” Louis shook his head almost immediately. “I can’t sing in public. Only in the shower.”

“Aw, c’mon. Not even a duet?”

“Nope!”

They both sat down at a table and Louis crossed his arms in front of him, giving Harry a stubborn smirk. “You’re really not going to do it?” Harry asked him.

“I’m too shy,” Louis said to him. “You sing. I’ll watch and I’ll cheer you on.”

Scrunching his nose in an attempt to hide his endeared smile, Harry nodded. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

He got up from his seat and walked over to the karaoke machine that they had on a makeshift stage with a mic stand. He flipped through the book with the list of songs and his eyes lit up when he got to the one he wanted to sing. Pressing in the number for the song, Harry waited until the acoustic melody of “Cigarette Daydreams” by Cage the Elephant began to play. He started to sing, facing the crowd, and a few people actually watched in interest. They were all much older than the two of them, and Harry didn’t feel that nervous about them as much as he did about Louis listening to him sing. But then he plucked up the courage to meet Louis’ eyes and he felt a devastating flutter in his stomach at the way Louis was smiling at him.

Harry felt a bit more confident, really putting his all into the song as he sang directly to Louis this time. This was all for him, anyway. Just to see him smile. Just so his bad day could turn around.

“Cigarette daydreams, you were only seventeen. So sweet with a mean streak, nearly brought me to my knees.”

Louis’ eyes narrowed playfully and he blushed, looking away and staring down at the table. Once Harry finished the song, he was met with a decent amount of applause and he did an awkward bow before getting off the stage and walking toward Louis.

“You have to sing a song with me,” he pleaded. “I just embarrassed myself up there for you.”

“That was a personal choice,” Louis snickered. “You were great, though, and everyone liked your performance. I didn’t know you could sing.”

“I’m a man of many talents,” he replied before grabbing both of Louis’ hands and helping him stand. Louis whined, shaking his head no, but Harry continued pulling him up toward the stage anyway. “Just one song. You can look right at me as you sing, so you won’t feel as shy. It will feel like nothing.”

Huffing out a breath, Louis finally relented with a nod. Grinning, Harry decided to pick their next song, and he was delighted by the recognition flickering over Louis’ face when the opening notes to “Edge of Seventeen” by Stevie Nicks began to play. Handing him a mic, Harry started the song off.

“Just like the white winged dove, sings a song, sounds like she's singing.”

To his surprise, Louis sang back to him, harmonizing almost perfectly. “Ooh, ooh, ooh.”

Harry couldn’t stop his smile, as he continued, “Just like the white winged dove, sings a song, sounds like she's singing. Ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh.”

They both had their eyes on each other the whole time as they sang and for the first time, Harry saw Louis truly let go and laugh and be free.

₊˚⊹♡

“Do you have to go?”

Harry stared at Louis forlornly, watching as the other boy packed his black weekender bag with toiletries and school books.

“Yes,” Louis replied, not looking up from where he was trying to squeeze in his History textbook. “I told you. My dad’s got that big campaign rally and he wants me and my mom there.”

“What’s the point?” Harry asked. “Based on what you’ve said, his whole we’re a perfect family shtick isn’t even real.”

“No, it’s not. But this is his job and we have to help him sell that image anyway, I guess.”

Harry continued to pout on Louis’ bed while Louis finished packing. He had no idea why he was behaving like a child, but he didn’t like the idea of Louis being away from him for three whole days. That, too, on a weekend, which was usually the time when they were able to hang out and hook up without any distractions or school work or practices to worry about.

Once he was done, Louis zipped up his bag and hauled it over to an empty spot by his door. Harry watched as he made his way over to him on the bed, crawling in beside him and tucking himself in. He stared at Harry for a long moment, eyes narrowing as he poked his cheek.

“Stop pouting,” Louis said.

“No,” Harry pouted even harder.

Louis pressed his lips together in an attempt to hide his smile. “You’re so difficult, did you know that?”

“You’re no walk in the park either, sunshine,” Harry bit back even though his words barely had any heat in them. Louis was ruining Harry’s life. Making Harry obsessed with him to the point where he was acting so unlike himself. He was a little devil and Harry loathed him.

Louis lifted his torso, leaning on his elbow as he wrapped his other arm around Harry, caging him in. Leaning down, Louis’ soft lips melted into Harry’s. A quiet shiver rolled through Harry and he reached up, fingers gripping the back of Louis’ neck to deepen the kiss. Louis moved in closer and soon, they were a tangle of limbs, wet lips smacking against one another.

Drawing back, Louis peered at him while his thumb grazed Harry’s bottom lip. “I’m going to be back on Tuesday.”

“That’s too long,” Harry responded.

“That’s too bad,” Louis giggled.

Harry swallowed thickly, leaning into Louis’ touch and gazing into his sea blue eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For being so whiny.”

“You’re okay,” Louis replied.

“I think...” Harry paused, unsure how to say the next words he was thinking.

Louis smirked. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Shut up,” Harry rolled his eyes, pinching Louis’ waist in retaliation and laughing as the other boy squirmed against him. “I was just going to say that I think I like you.”

Saying the words out loud made Harry’s chest feel tight, his stomach heavy. He wasn’t sure how Louis would react to this, but he figured he’d been pretty obvious about it. He’d never been great at hiding his emotions and he wanted to tell Louis even if the feelings might not be mutual. It was no secret how he felt.

Louis’ eyes and expression were unreadable, but it didn’t seem negative. He was calm as he reached for the hem of Harry’s grey t-shirt, sliding it up his torso.

“I want you,” Louis said quietly.

Harry nodded in response and they slowly undressed each other. Once they were both naked, Louis’ lips were on his, and the skin on skin contact felt like heat licking into Harry’s body. His eyes fluttered shut as Louis’ hands eagerly roamed every part of him while stealing his breath with every brush of his lips, which soon began migrating down his jaw and to the crook of his neck. Louis’ hand reached between their bodies and he fisted Harry’s co*ck. He was already half-hard, but his co*ck began to throb in Louis’ hand as he stroked him, igniting a fire somewhere low in Harry’s stomach. A whimper escaped Louis’ lips and vibrated against Harry’s skin.

As his thumb swiped over the wet tip, Harry let out a rumble of satisfaction as well and said the first thought that came to mind.

“I want to f*ck you,” he begged, voice barely above a whisper. “Please, let me f*ck you.”

Louis stilled where he was sucking a mark onto Harry’s neck. He lifted his head to meet Harry’s gaze, brows raised. “You want to f*ck me?”

“Is that okay?” Harry breathed out.

“I mean, yeah,” Louis nodded, a small crease between his brows. “I’ve just always topped.”

“Is that what you prefer?”

“I don’t really know,” he lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “I’ve never done it any other way. Topping makes me feel like I have control and I like that.

Harry smiled slowly. “You can ride me and still be on top.”

Louis’ gaze darkened as he nodded. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

Harry couldn’t help the giddiness in his tone and Louis nodded again. He skirted his lips along Harry’s collarbone before scraping his teeth on one of Harry’s nipples. A strangled noise left his throat as Louis’ tongue swirled at the tip while his hand caught the other nipple between his fingers. He felt breathless, a moan stuck in his throat as he squirmed under Louis.

Louis pulled back after a few moments, leaning up to catch Harry’s mouth in a searching, savoring kiss. “C’mon, then,” he whispered against his lips. “f*ck me.”

Within seconds Harry had Louis flat on his back, the two of them smiling into each other’s mouths with excitement. He leaned back on his haunches and dug into his nightstand for lube and a condom while Louis waited patiently. Harry knew this was a big deal. Louis, as he said, didn’t like to give up control like this. So for him to agree to bottom meant that he trusted Harry and this thing that they shared with each other. And he might not have said out loud that he also has feelings for Harry, but this was something.

Once he got everything, Harry shifted back on the bed and laid on his stomach with his head situated between Louis’ legs. Louis peered down at him, his eyes dark and lips parted. Meeting his eyes, Harry slowly began kissing a path toward Louis’ inner thighs. Each kiss was long and slick as he laved his tongue over Louis’ soft, smooth skin. His lips trailed to Louis’ balls, giving them gratuitous licks before his tongue slid over Louis’ hole. Louis’ legs tremored as he let out a soft gasp. Harry responded by running the flat of his tongue over Louis’ hole and then driving it inside of him.

Louis’ sudden, loud moan raced up Harry’s spine, causing him to leak against the sheets where his hard co*ck was pressed. He placed both of his hands on Louis’ butt cheeks, using his thumbs to hold his hole open while licking into him like he hadn’t eaten in days. After getting his fill, he grabbed the lube and covered three of his fingers before bringing them where his mouth was. Harry stretched Louis with two fingers to start, scissoring him sufficiently before adding a third. When Louis’ writhing became unbearable and he couldn’t stop shaking above him, Harry withdrew his fingers and crawled back up his body to kiss the other boy. All the while, he sheathed his own co*ck with a condom and stroked himself a bit to cover himself with some lube as well.

“You ready, baby?” he asked Louis.

He felt Louis’ breath stutter against his lips at his words before he nodded. They switched places, Harry rolling over onto his back while Louis mounted him. Harry steadied Louis with firm hands on his hips while Louis slightly hovered up, nudging Harry’s co*ck inside of him with his hand. When he got the tip in, they both let out sharp breaths, and then Louis began sinking down, taking in more of Harry as he went. His breathing grew shallow and his eyes squeezed shut. He was still only halfway inside of him.

“So f*cking tight,” Harry grunted, staring at the space between their hips where they were joined.

“Yeah,” Louis whined.

With his hands still on Louis’ hips, Harry thrust up in one, quick go and bottomed out. Louis dropped his head back with a gasp.

“Do you feel okay?” Harry asked, stilling his movements in case Louis was in pain.

“Yeah,” Louis whimpered again. “Yeah. f*ck.”

Harry slowly began to thrust up into him, urging Louis to ride him, and with devastating whines escaping his lips, Louis did. He brought his hands behind him to rest them on Harry’s thighs, fingers digging into his flesh while rolling his hips lazy and slow. His breathy “yes” and moans played on a loop, making Harry feel mad with desire and pleasure.

“I can’t,” Louis rasped after a while, movements slowing. “I need to come, but I can’t.”

“Let me take care of you,” Harry said, shifting around and switching positions once more until Louis flattened against the mattress. He leaned down to claim a kiss and Louis’ fingers sank into his hair, holding him close. With their lips attached, Harry dragged the tip of his hard co*ck along the entrance of Louis’ hole and then pushed it through. He groaned softly. Louis was still so f*cking tight. His walls squeezed around his co*ck as he thrust it in and out.

“f*ck me,” Louis let out a breathless plea. “Faster. Please.”

Louis’ hands held onto Harry tightly, his hot touch spreading through him like a fever. Harry’s lips met his as he rammed into him like his life depended on making sure Louis was feeling good and taken care of. He let out a muffled high-pitched moan when Louis clenched around his co*ck.

“You trying to kill me, baby?” Harry asked with an exasperated grin.

“Always,” Louis teased, his lips dragging Harry in for a kiss, but then a desperate whimper broke through him. “I’m close.”

Harry swept his thumb over the delicate skin of Louis’ cheek, slipping his tongue inside of his mouth, his hips unrelenting. Louis’ face twisted as he squeezed his eyes shut, a trembling, shaking mess through his oncoming org*sm. Harry’s name rushed out of Louis’ lips as he came apart, and the sight of him ripped the breath straight from Harry’s lungs. Louis was always a vision when he came and truly let go. His org*sm left him still shaking around Harry’s co*ck and Harry let out a strangled moan of his own. With one last thrust, he drove himself into the wave of his own release.

Louis reached for him, their mouths colliding, as they held on to each other tightly.

₊˚⊹♡

With all the time he’d been spending with Louis, Harry realized he was neglecting his best friends. As soon as Louis left campus, it came to him that he’d somehow managed to work all of his free time around Louis, which wasn’t the case when their arrangement first began, and now that he was gone, Harry had nothing to do. Thankfully, Niall and Zayn weren’t too annoyed with him when he reached out and asked if they’d want to meet up and do something. The last time they’d properly hung out was a little over two or three weeks ago, which was not the norm for the three of them. They used to be attached at the hip.

On Sunday night, they ventured out toward the lake at the center of the forest. It was a pretty place with ducks and fish in the water. Back in their freshmen year, Harry remembered they’d caught a frog there as well. Somehow, Zayn convinced them that it would be cool to keep the frog as a pet to be shared among the three of them. He was also very sure they wouldn’t get caught and for the longest time, they didn’t. They named the frog Oscar and took really good care of it. But then one day, Oscar somehow escaped Zayn’s room and almost got stepped on by another student, which led to the faculty getting involved. That was the end of that.

Harry sat by the edge of the water between his two friends. With his knees pulled to his chest and his arms crossed over them, he listened to Niall talk about something that had happened in his English class. But he was having a hard time concentrating and following the story when everything was reminding him of Louis. Niall mentioned the book his class was reading, A Streetcar Named Desire, and Harry remembered that Louis read it as well and gave Harry a very detailed review of what he thought. Zayn brought up a lab he was doing for Chemistry and Harry somehow brought that back to Louis by thinking about how Louis often smelled like chlorine, which was a chemical element.

Louis became a part of every one of his thoughts and Harry felt like a f*cking mess.

Niall looked at him with one of his brows raised. “Harry. What the f*ck are you doing here?”

“What?” Harry blinked in confusion.

“You’ve barely contributed to the conversation, dude. You’re the one who wanted to hang out.”

“I do,” he exclaimed. “I’m sorry. I really don’t have a good excuse.”

“Do you want to talk about whatever’s going on?” Zayn encouraged.

“About what’s going on?”

“Yeah. Like whatever’s going on with Louis.”

Harry looked sheepish. “Why do you assume this is about Louis?”

“Do you guys think that you’re discreet or something when you’re sneaking around together?” Niall deadpanned. “We’ve seen you guys a few times. In the library, outside in the courtyards, heading to the dorms together. People have been talking as well.”

“Have they?” Harry asked, eyes trained on his sneakers in front of him.

“A bit, yeah,” Zayn added. “Nothing bad, though. I don’t think people care that much. But we can tell something’s up.”

Harry sighed softly. He supposed if Liam and Clara got to know and Louis felt comfortable telling his friends, Harry didn’t know why he couldn’t do the same. Zayn and Niall were super trustworthy and Harry meant it when he said he didn’t like the disconnect that had been there between them recently. A big part of it was because he’d been hiding what was going on between himself and Louis. If he was honest and told them the truth now, then maybe things wouldn’t be so bad going forward.

“Louis and I have been hooking up for a while,” Harry confessed, glancing at the two of them nervously.

“Called it,” Niall crowed, laughing as he fell back on the grass.

Zayn rolled his eyes, lips stretched into a smirk. “You did, but you have to admit I made some good points. I didn’t think they had it in them.”

“What are you two talking about?” Harry asked.

“Niall, here, has been telling me for weeks that he thinks you and Louis are boning. I told him that I wasn’t sure you’d cross that line but I guess you have.”

Harry nodded slowly. “It’s a little bizarre, I know. But it’s...good. It’s really good, actually.”

Sitting up, Niall grinned at him. “You’re so in love, dude.”

“Shut up,” Harry groaned, swatting at him.

“Look how red his cheeks are,” Zayn snickered along with Niall. “Who would have f*cking thought you and Louis would be shacking up?”

“Definitely not us. Trust me,” Harry replied. “It just — it just happened. Not sure how to explain it.”

“Has it been just a sex thing?” Niall asked him.

“At first it was,” Harry admitted. “But over time, it’s definitely changed.”

“Changed how?” Zayn inquired.

Harry exhaled a laugh. “Changed like I actually have feelings now, I think. I don’t know. I’m really confused about what it is that I’m feeling.”

“No f*cking way,” Niall breathed out. “You have actual feelings for the guy you literally always fought with? Your mortal enemy?”

“It feels so juvenile to call him that now,” Harry said. “But yeah, I do. I think we get each other on a different level. I’ve trusted him with a lot of things and he trusts me, too. We have a good understanding and respect for each other now.”

“That’s honestly great,” Zayn told him, sounding sincere. “Louis has always seemed like a decent guy to me. I think he’s just a little uptight, but maybe he has his reasons.”

Harry hummed in agreement. “He’s really cool. You guys will agree once you really start talking to him and getting to know him.”

“You must like him a lot.”

“Yeah... I like that he doesn’t take my sh*t, you know? He’s so real and he’s always going to tell it like it is. And he’s actually so funny. I have fun with him. Nothing’s ever boring when we’re together. It’s not like this when I’m with other people.”

Niall watched him carefully, a small smile on his lips. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to explain. It’s like I can’t get enough of him. He’s gone this weekend for family stuff and I just miss him so much. All day I kept thinking to myself that if I go a day without seeing him, then what’s even the point? Forget a whole weekend. If I’m not breathing the same air as him, then everything feels wrong.”

Zayn whistled lowly. “For f*ck’s sake, dude. You’re down bad.”

Niall chuckled and they continued to tease him a bit, but Harry just ignored them. He changed the topic back to the two of them and this time made a conscious effort to be engaged and listen. A little while later, they got up and headed back to campus. On the walk toward the dorms, Harry pulled his phone out and let out a surprised sound when he saw he had a text from Louis waiting for him.

Louis (10:11 PM): It’s snowing here. Is it snowing on campus?

Harry (10:49 PM): it’s not but it’s really f*cking cold out. icy icy weather so maybe we’ll get some tonight

To his surprise, Louis replied back right away.

Louis (10:49 PM): Ahh, well, it’s beautiful. Wish you were here.

Harry (10:50 PM): awww, i wish i was there too. i’d cuddle you for warmth

Louis (10:50 PM): That’s sweet. And then I’d lock you outside in hopes you get severe hypothermia <3

Harry (10:50 PM): you’re so sweet to me baby

Harry (10:51 PM): yknow i was watching the grinch last night in the common room and you guys share the same character traits

Harry (10:51 PM): it’s cute <3

Louis (10:51PM): Kindly piss off :)

Harry (10:52 PM): <3 :)

₊˚⊹♡

Coach Phil had Harry and the rest of the football team running drills during practice on Wednesday afternoon. It was brutal given how cold it was outside, but they were quickly warming up with how fast they were moving. Harry focused on regulating his breathing and trying to follow the team captain, who was leading the drills. They started off with push-ups and sit-ups, and now they were running the mile-long track. While running, Harry noticed Theo sidling up next to him, trying to look casual. He’d been doing a lot to get back into Harry’s good graces, but Harry wasn’t relenting. He was still icing him out and didn’t think anything would make him want to be friends with someone like Theo again.

Before Theo could start a conversation with him, Harry picked up his speed and jogged past the other boy. As he did, his eyes wandered over to a courtyard they were passing. He could see Louis sitting there and his brows rose in surprise. This was the first time he was seeing Louis since he’d come back from Beacon Hills. Harry had thought maybe he stayed back another day or something because Louis didn’t return his texts.

His feet slowed and he came to a stop, reaching over his head to wave in Louis’ direction. He could have sworn Louis was looking this way, but then he began tilting his head down. Frowning, Harry shouted his name, hoping to catch his attention that way, but Louis didn’t look up. He considered calling Louis’ name again, but Harry didn’t want to cause a scene in the middle of practice. Something felt wrong and he desperately wanted to know why.

Realistically, he knew that Louis may have just been busy. Or maybe he came back really late last night or really early this morning and didn’t have time to text him back. Or it could have also been that Louis was feeling overwhelmed by this upcoming week’s schoolwork so he hadn’t had a chance to look at his phone. There were a number of possible reasons why he didn’t respond to Harry. And maybe there were reasons as to why he just looked away from Harry now and wouldn’t respond as he called his name. There was always a reason, but Harry had this gut feeling that it was more than that. Something wasn’t right.

“Is he back to his old ways then?”

Harry glanced up to see Theo had caught up with him, his steps slowing as well until he stopped in front of Harry. He responded to his question by glaring at Theo.

Theo snorted with a bemused expression. “Don’t look at me like that, Styles. I warned you about this from the start. This is Louis’ game and you fell for it. No point in getting mad at me for it.”

“Who the f*ck do you think you are talking about Louis at all?” Harry argued.

“His ex-boyfriend,” Theo scoffed. “I know him way better than you think you do.”

“You don’t know sh*t.”

“No?” Theo smirked at him. “I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen you two around campus. Multiple times. When I realized what was going on, it all clicked. Why you suddenly stopped talking to me, why you were defending him. It’s actually pathetic, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you.”

“No, you didn’t. You just swooped in the second I was out of the picture. How are my sloppy seconds?”

“Theo,” Harry bit out with a warning tone. “If you don’t shut the f*ck up...”

“What?” Theo asked, tone condescending. “I’m trying to help you out here, dude. If you want to go down like this, be my guest, but don’t act surprised when I turn out to be right.”

“I don’t need your help,” Harry said as he turned away from him, ready to go back to running.

“Louis loves a good game,” Theo said, making Harry stop in his tracks. “He’ll lure you in, make you fall in love with him, and the second he gets bored, he’s done with you. It’s what he did to me.”

Harry sighed deeply as he faced the other boy again. “You’re so delusional, Theo. He didn’t get bored and he didn’t play games. He didn’t do anything to you other than put you in your place. You cheated on him and he dumped you. That’s what happened between you two.”

“That was only part of it. Why do you think it got to that point?”

“Are you genuinely trying to blame your actions on him?”

“Louis isn’t who you think he is!” Theo exclaimed. “When will you open your eyes? He must have you so hypnotized.”

Harry got closer to him, moving in on his face as he gritted out, “f*ck off and leave us both alone before I smash your face in.”

Theo stared at him with furrowed brows but didn’t say anything more. Harry slowly backed away from him and began jogging again. He only looked back in Louis’ direction once more before moving forward. As much as he acted like he didn’t care about what Theo said, he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t getting to him. Harry’s feelings were deepening and he knew Louis felt something for him, too. He hadn’t felt like this about anyone in his life. Because of that, he was scared. He didn’t want to lose Louis.

₊˚⊹♡

After Harry’s hundredth text, tenth phone call, and a surprise visit to Louis’ dorm all went unanswered, he decided he needed to figure something else out. Saint Augustine was a large campus and it was possible to get away with avoiding certain people, but not for this long. Somehow, Louis was managing to do it just fine. It had been a few days since he’d returned from Beacon Hills and Harry saw him during football practice. Still, there was no word from the other boy, and Harry had had it. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve this silent treatment, but he was done doubting himself that something was wrong. He wasn’t paranoid like Zayn and Niall were saying he was. Louis was definitely upset or mad about something. He just needed to figure out what.

On Saturday night, Harry did a walk-through of the library, the indoor pool, and even the dining hall. He went over to Louis’ dorm room again and knocked on his door. When no one answered, he waited a bit in the hall but realized he looked so pathetic standing there like an idiot. Students were passing by and eyeing him warily, so he decided to just go stand and wait outside. As the hours passed and other students walked in and out of the building, Harry began to feel dejected because none of them were Louis.

Where could he be hiding? Harry had checked all the places Louis frequently went to, but he may have switched it up and was hiding somewhere else. He could be in Liam or Clara’s dorm room. He could be in a random classroom. He could be in any of the many courtyards on campus. He could be literally anywhere. The more Harry wondered, the more upset he became. He could feel a lump forming in his throat at how frustrated and anxious he felt. He needed answers and he was going to stand out here all night if it meant finally getting them.

A while later, Harry saw someone approaching the dorm. It was well past two in the morning and most students had gone to bed. Squinting at the figure, he thought it looked like Louis, but he was so cold and out of it that he wasn’t sure if his mind was just playing tricks on him. As the figure got closer and closer, Harry became more sure. He immediately stepped away from the wall he was leaning on and stalked toward Louis. Louis’ eyes widened when he saw Harry. At first, he began walking backward like he’d run, but then he schooled his expression to one more neutral and looked away from him, speed-walking toward the doors to the dorm.

“Louis,” Harry hissed, grabbing his arm and stopping him. “Stop.”

“I can’t,” Louis shook his head. “I’m busy. Sorry.”

“No,” Harry growled, pulling him toward himself. “I’ve been waiting out here for hours.”

“Why?”

Harry guffawed. “Why? Why the f*ck do you think? You’ve been avoiding me, that’s why!”

Louis feigned indifference as he stared back at Harry, his blue eyes icy, cold, and distant. Harry suddenly wanted to cry.

“I’ve been busy,” he replied. “I’m sorry for not getting back to you. But I really do have to go now.”

“No,” Harry crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going on.”

“Nothing is going on.”

“Louis, I swear to God if you don’t —”

“What do you want me to say, Harry?” Louis bit out. “Why do you always insist on being so f*cking dramatic about everything?”

“Because I don’t deserve to be ignored! I deserve to know what it is that I did. You’ve been ignoring me since you got back from Beacon Hills. Don’t try to deny it.”

Louis swallowed thickly, his eyes drifting down, and Harry felt himself soften immediately. He just needed to get through to him and make him talk about whatever was going on. Everything would be fine. Harry was sure of it. It needed to be. When Louis met his eyes again, they were still distant, and Harry felt his thin thread of hope diminishing within seconds. When Louis put up a front and when he wanted to hide, he wore a mask so no one would know how he truly felt. Harry knew because he’d been seeing it for years. He also knew how Louis was when he didn’t wear that mask.

To see Louis putting on that mask now was heartbreaking.

“Look,” Louis began. “My grades have been slipping and I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t let everything I worked for be destroyed by all of this.”

“All of what?” Harry breathed out in disbelief. “You mean our relationship?”

“We’re just f*ck buddies, Harry,” Louis responded cruelly. “We were never anything more.”

“f*ck off,” Harry nearly shouted. “You know it was never just about f*cking. It was always more.”

“No, it wasn’t. This was never supposed to be a permanent thing, Harry. You knew that.”

Harry turned away from him, pacing the walkway as he fisted his hair in frustration. “I should have known you’d try and pull something like this,” he said. “This is so like you. But why now? Why are you doing this now? What changed?”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m your annoying boyfriend.”

He said the word boyfriend like it was acidic on his tongue. As if he was revolted by the idea of being Harry’s boyfriend. His anything.

Harry scoffed, laughing bitterly. “You’re not my annoying boyfriend,” he clarified. “You’re my annoying obsession.”

Something flickered across Louis’ expression, but it was gone within an instant. Harry wanted to shake him. He wanted to scream until Louis stopped whatever he was doing. Rubbing his lips together, Louis gave him a bored look. “I think we had our fun, but we need to get serious now. I want a fair and square fight, Styles. Let’s just focus on what we’ve always done, ok? What we’ve been doing since the start. We need to get our heads back in the game. All of this other stuff had to end someday.”

“Oh, piss off about the stupid f*cking rivalry, Louis,” Harry yelled at him. “I f*cking told you I didn’t care about any of it. I get if this was always about you beating me, but that’s not what it was for me. For me, it was always about you and me. And don’t act like you didn’t know that. In fact, I want a truce. I want out of this rivalry.”

“Fine,” Louis shouted back. “I want you out of my life!”

The words felt like a slap to Harry. A burn that stung like a thousand cuts. He blinked at him in silence, trying to find the right words to say. “Do you hate me that much?” he exhaled shakily.

“That’s the sad part,” Louis admitted. “I don’t hate you at all.”

“Funny way of showing it. So you saw your grades were slipping and then what? You thought I was sabotaging you again? Opening myself up to you and being intimate with you was just some ploy to be number one in the class rankings?”

“No,” Louis shook his head. “I’m not saying that.”

“Then what is it?” Harry implored. “Because I told you how I feel about you, Louis. I’m blindsided by this. By you.”

Louis let out a shallow breath, his eyes lowering once more. “I just can’t right now, Harry. Please. I can’t. I let you in, too, okay? I never let anyone in like this, but I can’t lose sight of everything I’ve ever wanted.”

Harry exhaled a sardonic laugh, feeling the fight leaving his body. “Fine. If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

“You’re just going to let your parents win.”

“As if you’re not doing the same.”

“I may be a coward when it comes to my dad,” Harry replied. “But I was brave when it came to you. You can’t say the same.”

With that final word, Harry turned around and walked away from Louis.

Chapter 7: 7 | LOUIS

Chapter Text

Louis startled at the knock on his door. A quick glance at the clock on his desk told him it was close to eight in the morning, which made him realize he hadn’t moved from this spot for the last four hours. That wasn’t good. He groggily shifted in his chair, feeling achy all over, and stood up. His joints cracked and creaked with each step he took toward the door. His vision felt clouded and he blinked several times, trying to ignore how his eyes burned from dryness.

Liam stood on the other side of the door and Louis offered him a smile, moving to the side and inviting him inside. “Morning,” he said. “Wasn’t expecting you.”

Liam’s eyes scanned around the room and he gave Louis a wary look as he sat down on his still-made bed. “I texted you. Didn’t you see it?”

“Ah, no,” Louis said, walking over to his desk where his phone lay face down and neglected. “Sorry. What’s up?”

“Just came to return your English notes.” He bent down to retrieve them from his backpack and placed them on Louis’ bed. “Do you have class this morning?”

“Not for a couple of hours. I have a free period first,” Louis yawned as he took a seat on his chair again.

“Lou, have you slept?” Liam asked, a slight frown on his face. “No offense, but you look awful.”

Louis shook his head. “Nope. I have that History exam I told you about later today.”

Liam sighed quietly, his eyes softening as he looked at Louis. “You pulled an all-nighter last night, too. Tell me you at least took a nap at some point yesterday or overnight.”

“I couldn’t,” Louis shook his head. “I didn’t have time.”

“That’s not a reason to not sleep for two nights in a row,” Liam said admonishingly. “You’re going to seriously crash and get sick.”

“I’ll be fine,” Louis waved him off despite yawning another time. “I would have to pull several more all-nighters to actually crash.”

“Please don’t.”

“I won’t,” Louis reassured him. “I’ll sleep tonight after my History exam. Promise.”

A crease formed between Liam’s brows as he stared down at his hands. “Louis...I’m worried.”

“I’ll be okay, Liam. I have done this before, you know,” Louis reminded him, giving him a look.

“Still.”

“What are you so worried about?” he asked, exasperated.

Louis couldn’t figure out why Liam was acting like this was something new. He was well aware of Louis’ study habits and routines and never had an issue with them before. Well, he never voiced concern, at least. There was just a lot going on at once right now. When Louis had multiple exams back to back, he got overwhelmed and did what he needed to in order to ensure he did well. That was what mattered the most and Liam knew that. Louis was totally fine, if a bit tired. He will come back to his dorm after the exam and take the longest nap of all time.

“I’m worried about you,” Liam said. “Something’s going on with you, Lou. You’ve been going real hard about schoolwork lately and haven’t come up for air since you got back from Beacon Hills.”

Louis grew quiet at his words. His eyes were stinging and he slowly blinked, hoping that would help, but he probably needed to wash his face and rub some water into them. He might have some eye drops somewhere. God, Louis was so exhausted and he was not at all in the right mindset to have this conversation with Liam. If he started explaining everything, he’d mentally exhaust himself as well. What Louis needed to do was have some more Red Bull, and coffee, and f*cking ace this History exam. Why did Liam have to bring all of this up now?

Liam looked at him apologetically. “I don’t mean to be annoying.”

“You’re fine,” Louis said. “I’m not annoyed.”

“You just went all quiet.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Needed a moment to collect my thoughts.”

“That’s okay,” Liam said.

Louis smiled wearily. “I didn’t really talk to you about this, but my grades are actually slipping. And it’s a little embarrassing to admit, but yeah.”

“Oh,” Liam said.

“Yeah, I’m trying to bring my GPA back up. That’s all it is. Nothing to worry about, but I appreciate your concern.”

Liam nodded in understanding. “Of course. And don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens. Senioritis, right?”

“More like Harry-itis,” Louis mumbled to himself.

“What was that?” Liam asked.

“Nothing,” Louis shook his head. “Nothing at all.”

Louis did not want to get into the Harry topic. That felt a bit too fresh and he was still grappling with how to feel about it all. He knew he hurt Harry when he ended things, but what Harry didn’t know was how much it hurt him to do it. Louis felt sick just thinking about it. There hasn’t been a night where he didn’t stay up thinking about the devastated look on Harry’s face the last time they spoke. It was as though Louis had driven an arrow straight through his chest.

God, he needed to stop this train of thought before it got bad. Louis had to study. He had to keep moving. Harry would be fine and so would he. They were both going to focus on their studies again and things would be back to normal.

It was fine. Louis was fine.

Really.

₊˚⊹♡

Thankfully, things mellowed out after Louis’ History exam. Classes slowed a bit just so everyone could gather their bearings right before the storm of finals hit them. Of course, Louis wasn’t slowing down that much. Finals were always his hardest week during the school term and he needed to be prepared, so he continued studying. He stayed on top of all of his homework and papers. And then when he had quiet moments, he thought of Harry.

He always thought of Harry. It was counterproductive and not at all what he wanted, seeing how he’d ended things with him. Louis was aware that this wouldn’t be easy, however, he hadn’t anticipated how bad it would be. Every time he thought about that night, Louis felt an unbearable ache in his chest. His nights continued to be plagued by thoughts of what have I done? And will this feeling ever go away? He never had the answers and he didn’t know how to find them, or even where to look.

They mostly stayed out of each other’s way. Louis didn’t look in Harry’s direction, afraid of what he might find, and Harry seemed to be doing the same. It felt weird and not at all normal for there to be this much distance between them. Even when they hated each other, there was something that connected them. Now, there was nothing. At times, Louis could barely concentrate on his classes because he was so acutely aware of Harry’s presence in the room and he felt suffocated by it. It was frustrating and it wasn’t working. Harry was still there in all of Louis’ thoughts. He’d embedded himself so deeply inside of Louis that it had become difficult to take him out.

After the fourth night of not being able to sleep properly, Louis decided he needed to talk to Harry. He couldn’t handle another sleepless night with nothing but these thoughts running through his mind. Maybe discussing all of this would help him move past it and ease his conscience. He could admit that he’d left little to no room for Harry to provide any input in this situation or his decision. He’d been dismissive and he felt badly about it now. While he couldn’t change the past, he was willing to be mature about it now and be the first one to break the ice between them. Perhaps what they both needed was closure and hopefully, talking would help them get it.

Louis arrived at gym class the next day with a clear goal of getting Harry alone for a few seconds. A few seconds would be all he needed to ask the other boy if he’d have the time to meet up and talk later. He had tried to get Harry alone in the locker room, but that didn’t work out. Harry was surrounded by a few of the guys on the football team the whole time and Louis didn’t want to bring any attention to them, so he figured he could try at some point during class.

Outside on the field, Mrs. Owens waited for them with a soccer ball under her foot. They were playing a scrimmage today and would be split up into two teams. While waiting for the rest of the class to arrive, Louis warmed himself by rubbing his arms over his crewneck, his eyes trailing over to Harry every so often. Harry seemed to be in a good mood, completely engrossed in whatever his friend was saying to him. He wasn’t even bothered that Louis was there. Louis wished he could say the same. He wished he could ignore Harry’s existence like Harry was ignoring his.

The game began and Louis found himself lost in it. He’d always enjoyed soccer and had he not been on the swim team, he’d probably have joined this one. He and his teammates, which included Harry, were doing well. After helping score a goal, Louis felt his mood lifting, the endorphins from the exercise and the goal rushing through him. He even ended up scoring the next goal, giving their team the lead. As they played, Harry got control of the ball and Louis ran up beside him, hoping he’d pass it to him since Louis was closest to the goalpost. But instead, Harry turned his body away from Louis and began going in the opposite direction, only to lose the ball to the opposing team.

Louis frowned in confusion, staring after Harry as he ran toward the player who stole the ball from him. He knew Harry wasn’t his biggest fan at the moment, but they were in class now and he wasn’t being a very good team player. Didn’t he want to win? It felt a bit petty to just avoid him like that.

Harry’s attempts at stealing the ball back were futile and the opposing team scored their first goal. The game continued and Louis ran after the ball but got run over by another player. He quickly got back up and saw that Harry had intercepted the player with the ball, stealing it from them, and going straight for the goalpost. Louis ran up to help him.

“Pass me the ball,” Louis said to him, his breaths shallow.

To his surprise, Harry snorted. “No.”

“What? What do you mean no?”

“Why would I pass you the ball?” Harry questioned.

“I’m your teammate, that’s why,” Louis replied, exasperated. “We’re supposed to work together.”

Harry sneered at him, moving past Louis, but not before saying, “You’re not anything to me.”

The cold, harsh words felt odd coming from Harry. It had been so long since he’d spoken to Louis like that. The whole thing was jarring, leaving Louis paralyzed as he slowed to a stop and stood there, unable to say or do anything while the game continued on around him. He swallowed thickly and looked down at the grass, not wanting to look at Harry’s retreating form. It was a difficult pill to swallow. Harry looked at and spoke to Louis as though he hated him, and the realization of that cracked straight through Louis’ chest.

He’d f*cked up. He’d really f*cked up.

₊˚⊹♡

The deep blue night sky twinkled above as Louis and his friends walked into the forest, all bundled up in their best winter coats and scarves. It was Saturday night and with only a couple of weeks left until their finals began, students were desperate to make the most out of the small amount of time they had left. Which, of course, meant a bonfire as that was one of the only ways they were able to get away from campus and any faculty eyes. It was way too cold to be out here, in Louis’ opinion, but he had dragged himself out anyway. The second Clara texted him and asked if he’d like to go, he’d agreed because of one reason and one reason only.

Harry.

Harry almost always came to the bonfires, so Louis would likely find him here and they could maybe finally talk about everything. If Harry was willing that was. The last time Louis tried left a lot to be desired, but he was always persistent when it came to things he wanted so he decided to give it another shot. He had nothing to lose except maybe another hit to his ego. Louis was desperate, though. He had not been able to shake off the way Harry had spoken to him during gym class. It had made his stomach twist and turn. It had brought on another several sleepless nights where he just laid in bed and felt like screaming and crying. It had made him regret everything.

Upon reaching the bonfire, Clara led Louis and Liam over to an empty log beside the fire. Louis sat down tentatively while his eyes furtively glanced around the crowd, hoping to spot the boy he’d come searching for, however, he couldn’t see him anywhere. He might not have arrived yet, then. Or what if he didn’t show up at all? That would make this whole journey out here a complete waste of time. f*ck. Louis was already shivering a bit and the fire in front of him wasn’t doing much to warm him up.

“Any plans for the break, Louis?” Liam asked conversationally.

“Not really,” Louis replied. “I think we’re just going to stay home. Dad’s got some work stuff that’s local, so no vacation or anything like that planned. What about you guys?”

“Liam’s going to be coming back to my parents’ place with me for a few days and then head to his,” Clara smiled. “My older brother’s bringing his fiance, as well.”

“Oh, when’s the wedding?” Louis asked.

“Sometime in the summer. You should come! It’ll be fun.”

“I’d love to!” Louis exclaimed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding.”

“Really?” Liam asked.

“No, weirdly enough. I almost went to your sister’s wedding, but I got the flu and couldn’t make it.”

“I remember that. I was so bummed because you know how much I hate hanging out with my cousins. They’re all Republicans.”

Louis nodded with understanding. He’d been pretty bummed as well as he’d wanted to see what the wedding and marriage hype was all about. Prior to the wedding, Liam’s sister, Ruth, was very touchy-feely with her fiance. Even Liam’s parents were physically affectionate toward one another, unlike Louis’ parents who rarely showed any form of affection in general, let alone to each other. Sometimes during holidays, they all hugged and wished one another well, but that was about it.

It made Louis wonder if his parents even loved each other. Love was a very passionate emotion and he knew that when he fell in love, he’d be all in or not at all. He knew he’d be the type to love with all of his heart once he was able to trust the other person and let all of his barriers and walls go. When Louis was with Theo, he figured he’d eventually learn to love him like that. But now, thinking about it, Louis knew that was never going to happen. He was only fooling himself with that relationship.

“Is that hot chocolate they’re drinking?” Clara asked, eyeing a group of girls walking past them.

“Hot chocolate?” Liam’s eyebrows shot up. “I would love some of that right now.”

“Same,” Clara agreed. “Let’s go find it.”

The three of them got up and walked toward where the girls came from. Louis instantly missed the small amount of warmth the fire was providing him. Hopefully, he could replace it with some hot chocolate. If there was any left. It seemed like a hot commodity as everyone around them drank from their cups.

Usually at the bonfires, a group of four or five students was in charge of drinks and they routinely worked out of a cooler. Today, they had several thermoses in place, pouring warm, chocolate liquid into cups and passing them around. As they waited for their turn, Louis once again looked around to see if he could spot Harry. He really wanted to try and talk to him again. Louis knew if they just talked, things might get better. Harry did want a truce. He told Louis as much that night, but now, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

The line for the drinks moved up and soon, it was their turn. Luckily, there was still plenty for them left.

“Three hot chocolates, please!” Clara requested.

“Would you like alcohol in it?” the guy asked.

Louis shook his head while Liam and Clara both nodded. After they got their drinks sorted, they began walking back toward the fire, in hopes that the log they’d left was still vacant. As they approached, Louis scanned the crowds before stopping short. There, right across the fire, was Harry. But he wasn’t alone. He was wrapped up in another guy, their mouths fused together in a passionate and sensual kiss. Louis’ stomach dropped six feet under the ground and he felt tethered to his spot.

Both Liam and Clara glanced back at him in confusion, but Louis couldn’t look away. Harry was smiling into the guy’s mouth. There was a rosy hue to his cheeks, similar to how it was right after he org*smed. Did he? Did they just get back from wherever they were hiding away to hook up? Or was it just from the cold? The thoughts had Louis’ hands trembling and he nearly dropped his drink until Liam swooped in and grabbed it from him.

“Lou,” Liam said, his voice filled with concern. “What’s going on? You feeling okay?”

“You look a bit pale,” Clara said, her palm coming up to cup his cheek.

Louis couldn’t form the words to respond. He couldn’t think. He looked at his two friends and then he looked back at Harry, who was now gazing into this guy’s eyes as though he wanted to eat him whole. He looked at him like he used to look at Louis, and oh God, Louis was going to be sick. He allowed his friends to guide him back to the log and he sat down, curling into himself, while they sat beside him, glancing at him from time to time with worry in their eyes. He wasn’t sure if they’d seen what he had, but thankfully, they weren’t causing a fuss and drawing attention to him during his semi-breakdown.

That gut-wrenching ache he felt every night came back in his chest. This time, it hurt twice as much because he could see what he’d let go. He didn’t even think of this aspect of it. When Louis ended things with Harry, he was really only thinking of himself. Not once did it occur to him that Harry would just find someone else to get his dick wet. The thought infuriated Louis. It made him angry that Harry thought of him as someone who was replaceable. As though what they had wasn’t even special to begin with. They were exclusive, without having any sort of talk about that, and things felt different toward the end. Louis knew it wasn’t just hate sex at that point. It was so much more.

When his eyes flickered over in the direction Harry was in, Louis saw that he was now alone. The other guy was gone. Harry had his head bent down while scrolling through his phone. Watching him act so casual like he didn’t just flip Louis’ entire world over in an instant was maddening. Without another thought, Louis got up from his seat and marched over to Harry. His hand reached for the collar of Harry’s jacket, causing Harry to let out a surprised yelp, and he dragged him away from everyone.

“What the f*ck are you doing?” Harry glared once he realized it was Louis.

“We need to talk,” Louis answered as he continued to lead him deeper into the forest. The further they went, the darker and quieter it got. They needed privacy because Louis couldn’t promise he wouldn’t yell with how furious he was.

“I don’t want to talk to you. Let me go!” Harry groaned and grunted, trying to get out of Louis’ hold.

“No,” Louis responded petulantly.

“Louis, what the f*ck? I’m going to scream!”

“You can do whatever you want. I don’t care.”

By some miracle, at that retort, Harry stopped fighting or resisting. He allowed Louis to lead them to a corner before he stopped and turned to face him. “What was that?” Louis asked him, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked incredulously.

“Back there.”

At first, Harry looked confused and annoyed, but then a wave of understanding washed over his face. “You mean Charlie.”

“Who the f*ck is Charlie?” Louis gritted out.

Harry snorted in amusem*nt, which further pissed Louis off. “You’re so unreal. I don’t even understand you. It’s almost funny, really.”

“Why are you laughing?” Louis asked, a flare of anger rushing through him. “This isn’t funny. This is the furthest thing from funny.”

“Oh, piss off with this fake jealousy bullsh*t. I know you don’t give a f*ck about me or who I f*ck. You’re just faking it.”

“I’m not faking anything!” Louis cried out.

“So you’re actually jealous?” Harry asked, a look of disbelief on his face.

“Yes!” Louis shouted shrilly, his eyes stinging with tears. “Is that so hard to believe? That I might actually feel something?”

Harry smirked at him, his eyes mocking and cruel. “It is, actually. You’re the one who ended things between us. Why would I believe that you’re jealous of me hooking up with someone else?”

Louis swallowed thickly. “I had my reasons to end things, but I didn’t think you’d just prance into the next person’s arms within days of it. That’s not cool.”

“So you’re mad that I’m moving on?” Harry let out another cold, droll laugh. “It’s always f*cking about you. You get to decide when we’re done. You get to decide when I’m allowed to find someone else to spend my time with. You’re so selfish, Louis!”

“That’s not what I meant!” Louis groaned out loud in frustration. “You’re not understanding me. I feel like you’re just doing this to me on purpose.”

“Doing what to you?”

“You’re punishing me,” Louis let out, his voice warbling. “Why are you punishing me?”

“I’m not doing sh*t to you,” Harry said with a shake of his head. “You’re the one who hurt me. You don’t give a f*ck about me, like I said.”

“That’s not true. I have been trying to talk to you. You aren’t giving me the chance.”

“Yeah, why should I?” Harry asked, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Why should I give you a chance to talk to me now when you didn’t let me say a single thing that night? You didn’t want to listen to me, so why should I listen to you? You’re the one who said you didn’t want this anymore. So what the f*ck do you want?”

“I don’t want sh*t from you!”

He wanted everything.

Louis just couldn’t say it.

“Fine,” Harry replied, his voice cool as he gave Louis a sad smile. “Then we’re done here. Don’t f*cking talk to me again.”

Louis’ words of protest got stuck in his throat and he couldn’t say anything. He only let out a quiet whimper of defeat once Harry was far enough away.

₊˚⊹♡

It was the last swim meet of the semester and Louis was not looking forward to it.

His body felt sluggish as he pushed himself to trek from his dorm room to the gymnasium building, already looking forward to when this would be over and he could crawl back into his bed. When he arrived at the locker room and changed into his jammers, he didn’t engage in any conversation with the rest of the team or the coach while they all chatted amicably with one another. Once changed, he looked into his locker mirror to put on his swim cap and was alarmed by how dark the circles underneath his hooded eyes looked in the bright, fluorescent lights of the locker room.

Louis couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept through a night. He’d manage, maybe, a couple of hours before he woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. His sleep schedule was bad when he got back from his weekend trip to Beacon Hills, but it had gotten even worse since his conversation with Harry in the forest.

Their interaction weighed heavily on Louis. He felt so conflicted about everything. There were a myriad of emotions and thoughts constantly rushing through him. He wanted to tell Harry that he regretted what he did and that he regretted how he did it, too. But no matter how much Louis wanted to take everything back, he was too late. Clearly, Harry didn’t want anything to do with him anymore and Louis was having a hard time grasping why he cared as much as he did. Why was it tearing him up inside? Why did everything feel so bleak and meaningless now?

Louis tried to move past this the only way he knew how, which was by keeping his mind busy. He couldn’t sit around just festering in these feelings. That wasn’t productive. So he stayed up and did schoolwork. It was all he had. He couldn’t distract himself with anything else. His methods worked, for the most part, but the exhaustion that swept through his body and mind was becoming more and more difficult to handle. Even as he finished getting ready and lined up with his team to go out to the pool, he felt this deep sense of defeat and despair wash through him. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to do well, but he couldn’t just not show up. He’d made a commitment.

Upon entering the indoor pool room, Louis kept his eyes down as he walked over the blue-tiled floors, trying to get his mind focused on the task at hand. He knew he wouldn’t be able to perform his absolute best, but he didn’t want to completely tank. He swam in two races every swim meet — the butterfly and the backstroke. He needed to keep his wits about him if he wanted to get through them, even if all he wanted was to sink into his bed and wallow for days on end. Swallowing thickly, he looked up at the bleachers to see how the crowd was. He wasn’t sure if Clara and Liam showed up today. He kept forgetting to text them back about the timing of the swim meet. When his eyes swept over the audience, he was surprised. Not because they weren’t there, but because of who was.

Harry sat on one of the bleachers all the way at the top, hidden beneath his coat, scarf, and sunglasses. It was as though he was in disguise and trying to hide, but it wasn’t really working. Louis could tell it was him. He frowned in confusion, his gaze steady as he stared at Harry and wondered if he was looking back at him from beneath his dark-tinted Ray Bans. If Harry wanted nothing to do with him, as he’d told Louis multiple times now, why did he show up to his swim meet?

Louis couldn’t contemplate for too long. The swim meet was about to begin and they were going to start with the backstroke heat first. He got into position and, when he heard the whistle, he dove into the water along with the other five swimmers beside him. Louis focused on his movements, trying to exert as much energy and effort as he could to get a somewhat decent time. Mid-way, he began to feel lightheaded but continued to push through. He hadn’t eaten or had anything other than black coffee to drink before he left for the swim meet, so his blood sugar must be low. Usually, he’d have some Red Bull with the coffee, but he’d run out of the energy drink and didn’t have time to restock. He’d have to make sure to eat something solid as soon as the swim meet was done.

By the time the backstroke heat ended, Louis was panting heavily as he pushed himself up and out of the water. He felt dizzy, but he tried his best to find a seat until it was time for the butterfly heat. As he sat down on a bench, his vision was going in and out, but Louis didn’t want to cause a scene and tell anyone. He’d feel so sh*tty for letting his teammates down, and he needed to stay strong and get through it. He mentally willed his body to function for a little bit longer and then he’d deal with the repercussions. The thought of forfeiting was unbearable. He couldn’t do that. Not in front of all of these people and Harry.

Glancing over at the boy in question, Louis saw that he was still there. He didn’t want to get his hopes up about this. Harry had made it very clear that he didn’t want to speak to Louis anymore. Louis needed to accept that and move on no matter how difficult it was. He looked away and tried to focus.

When it came time for the butterfly heat, Louis once more got in position. Just this one race and he was good to go. If he remembered correctly, he may even have some protein bars in his locker, which he could eat before hitting the dining hall. This would be fine. He could do it. Louis was determined and he was perfect. Always.

The coach blew his whistle, and with a deep breath, he dove into the water and began swimming toward the other end in earnest. He was doing it. He could do it. He could. And then his vision began blurring again. He began seeing black spots and his arms were giving out along with his legs. His eyes were closing on their own and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t keep them open. He couldn’t do it. He realized that now, but he also couldn’t do anything about it. His body was completely giving out.

Louis began to sink.

₊˚⊹♡

When Louis opened his eyes, he was blinded by fluorescent lights. He squinted as he let out a quiet breath, lifting his hand to block the light when a sudden movement startled him. Louis’ head flicked to the side and he found Harry sitting in a chair beside him with a relieved look on his face.

“You woke up,” Harry murmured, letting out a breath of his own, and running a hand through his messy hair. It looked extra unruly at the moment, as though he’d been pulling and messing with it for a while.

Louis’ brows creased, his eyes darting around the room in confusion to figure out where he was and what was going on. The familiar light blue walls and the Saint Augustine crest painted over it clued him in that he was in some administrative building. And then it hit him. He’d only been to the nurse’s office a handful of times over the years, but he recognized the tiny white cots, the first aid kits, and the sterile smell permeating the air. He couldn’t remember how he’d ended up here or why Harry, of all people, was with him. He had way too many questions and it didn’t help that his head was pounding, the pain hitting his skull in the worst way.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked. He leaned his body forward and moved his face close to Louis’, voice hushed like he knew Louis couldn’t take too much at the moment. “Talk to me, Lou. Tell me how you’re feeling.”

“Not good,” Louis croaked, his voice dry from disuse. “Why am I here? I mean, how did I get here?”

Harry rubbed his lips together, his eyes trailing over Louis’ face. “You fainted.”

“I fainted?”

Louis was so confused. The last thing he remembered was being at the swim meet. He swam in his races. He remembered being in the water.

“You fainted during your second race,” Harry continued to explain.

“But I swam that one. I remember —”

“You did,” Harry nodded. “But you fainted in the middle of it. You were drowning. It was like your body just gave up.”

The memories of the situation slowly started coming back to him. He remembered that he’d been feeling unwell and lightheaded, but was trying to power through it because he didn’t want to let his team down. The moments right after he began his second race were hazy, and everything after, he clearly couldn’t remember because he was unconscious for it. Louis peered at Harry, who was still looking at him like he was scared Louis was going to disappear right in front of his eyes.

“What then?” Louis asked him.

“They got you out right away. I came with them when they brought you here.”

Louis wanted to ask him why he accompanied him, but instead, he questioned, “How long was I out for?”

“About four hours,” Harry replied.

“Four hours?” Louis breathed out. “Have you been...”

“Here?”

Louis nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve been here the whole time.”

At that, Louis felt hope bloom in his chest. He was trying his best not to earlier, but now he just couldn’t help it. Harry had come to his swim meet and he’d also been here by his side after he passed out because he was worried about him. He cared. And if he cared, maybe that meant he wasn’t as angry with Louis anymore and they could talk. He didn’t want to let this quiet and peaceful moment between them pass. He had to say something and explain himself. Louis tried sitting up to properly face Harry, but a sharp ache on his shoulder prevented him, and he winced, lowering back down.

“Careful,” Harry said, reaching forward to help him adjust into a comfortable position. “You hurt your shoulder and head when you went down. Hit the bottom of the pool pretty hard.”

“That explains my headache,” Louis muttered, trying to keep his voice light as he gave Harry a small smile. “But one good thing came out of this. I slept more than two hours. Haven’t been able to do that in a minute. Only had to pass out for it to happen, huh?”

He let out a bemused chuckle but stopped short when he saw how upset Harry looked.

“Lou, that’s not — it’s not funny. Do you know how crazy your vitals were?” Harry asked, his voice shaky and bordering on frantic. “They were going to take you to the hospital, but then they started normalizing slowly. Still, you exhausted your body to the point where it completely gave out. Do you get how dangerous that is? No matter how much you were trying to push through, your body gave out. Your brain gave out. You can’t ever do that again! And you definitely can’t make a f*cking joke out of it.”

Harry breathed heavily beside him, his green eyes flaring with anger as he glared at Louis. Despite that, Louis knew he wasn’t really mad at him about this. It sounded and looked like he was scared. Louis felt like sh*t for trying to make light of the situation since Harry was clearly feeling upset. He looked tired himself, barely holding it together.

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispered. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just —”

“It’s not about upsetting me! You need to take care of yourself,” Harry refuted. “You have to. You need to stop with the all-nighters. You need to sleep properly and eat properly. You can’t keep living like this, Louis. This could kill you and I don’t know what I’d do if you —”

He stopped short, his chest heaving rapidly, like he was seconds away from bursting into tears. Instead, it was Louis who began crying. The first few tear drops rolled down his cheeks slowly before he let out a heaving sob and began crying in earnest, his body trembling. He didn’t know what to say or do. He was overwhelmed, he was in pain, and Harry was so upset with him. The outcome of his actions began to dawn on him. All of it. From his unhealthy habits to the way he let go of the one person who meant so much to him. Louis didn’t know what he was crying about. It was everything. He felt broken and he felt depleted.

“Lou,” Harry exhaled beside him. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“It’s okay,” Louis whispered back.

“No,” Harry shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

Louis let out another choked sob and within moments, he felt the cot shift beneath him and a body sliding in beside his. He blinked his wet eyes in Harry’s direction and allowed him to hold him close in his arms. When he caught Harry’s tear stained face, Louis felt another dam break in him.

He cried until his body, once more, gave out and he finally succumbed to sleep.

₊˚⊹♡

Louis found Liam standing outside of his dorm room when he returned there after a one-night stay in the nurse’s office. He looked relieved when he saw Louis approach him, giving him a soft smile. “Hey, you,” he said. “Heard you had a rough day yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Louis replied, smiling as Liam came closer and pulled him into a long, comforting hug. “Do you want to come in?”

“Sure,” Liam said. As Louis unlocked his door, he added, “I didn’t know students were able to stay overnight in the nurse’s office.”

“Yeah, I didn’t either. They told me they needed to monitor me and make sure I was alright before letting me go. The nighttime nurse was nice. She chatted with me for a while when I woke up in the middle of the night.”

Liam followed him inside once he got the door open and closed it behind him. Louis headed straight for his bed, already feeling groggy and in need of another nap. He knew he had some schoolwork to do, but right now, he couldn’t be bothered about that. It was the weekend and he had time.

“How are you feeling now?” Liam asked him, taking a seat on Louis’ desk chair.

Louis shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”

“I’m sure it was scary,” Liam said.

“I don’t really remember it happening,” he admitted. “Parts of it are still very hazy. Harry was actually there at the swim meet when I fainted and he stayed with me until I woke up. He was the one who told me everything.”

Liam didn’t look surprised at that, which made Louis assume that maybe it was Harry who had informed Liam about everything. It hadn’t been Louis. He’d barely been on his phone. He didn’t know how else Liam could have heard. The gesture was sweet and filled Louis with that stupid sense of hope again. He knew it was stupid to be hopeful. Harry wasn’t even there when Louis woke up after falling asleep in his arms. Realistically, he knew that it might not have been personal. Harry did need to eat, sleep, and shower. He also had homework and tons of other stuff to do. Still, Louis was a little pouty about it. He wanted Harry to be there beside him after his traumatic day.

“Did Harry reach out to you?” Louis asked Liam, wanting to confirm.

“Yeah, he messaged me last night,” Liam said before clearing his throat. “He told me you guys aren’t really speaking right now.”

“He said that?”

“He did.”

Louis felt his bottom lip wobble and impending tears clouding his vision. He was so f*cking done with all of this. Why would Harry show up to his swim meet after the argument they had at the bonfire? Why would he stay with Louis for hours and comfort him? All of that only to tell Liam that they weren’t speaking? It didn’t feel fair. It felt like Harry was just toying with his emotions at this point and Louis felt very fragile, both emotionally and physically. He felt like he could fall apart at the seams at any given point.

“Lou,” Liam said softly, moving closer by rolling his chair toward the bed where Louis was. “It’s okay. You can talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk,” Louis sniffled as he turned away from him. “It’s fine. There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Don’t shut me out. Come on.”

“I’m not shutting you out. I’m just — God, I don’t know. I really don’t,” he said, his voice trembling.

“Is it true that you guys aren’t speaking anymore?”

“Well, that’s what he told you, so I guess it is.”

Liam shook his head. “f*ck what he said. I want to hear it from you. What happened?”

“I ended things with him after I got back from Beacon Hills,” Louis confessed, roughly wiping at his eyes. “He was upset and he tried talking me out of it, but I was adamant about my decision. I wouldn’t hear him out and he’s mad. So, yeah, it’s essentially over.”

Liam’s eyes grew wide. “I had no idea, dude. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you.”

“You didn’t know. I didn’t tell anyone because I was barely processing it myself. But it’s been really hard. Way harder than I expected it to be. We weren’t ever truly in a relationship, but it — it felt really real to me. It felt like more.”

Liam’s hand rested over his knee in a comforting manner. “I knew something was up when you got back, but I couldn’t tell what it was,” he said.

“I wasn’t very forthcoming, so please don’t blame yourself. I shut you out just like I shut Harry out. I was so worried about my GPA slipping. I knew it was because I hadn’t been on top of my game and a lot of it was because I’d gotten so swept up in Harry and what we had going on.”

“Which is why you were pulling all of those all-nighters and constantly studying and doing schoolwork,” Liam slowly said. “You were worried about your grades and the class rankings.”

“Yes. Nearly drowned because of all of that pressure I put on myself.”

Saying those words out loud brought a sobering feeling within him. Louis could have died. He was so close to it. How did he let it get this bad? He’d always been able to handle his routines and habits despite knowing they weren’t the greatest. He did what he did, but he never allowed it to affect him to the point where his life was at risk.

“I’m worried about you, Louis,” Liam said. “I’ve been telling you that, but I’m going to tell you again. So is Clara and, clearly, Harry, too. You can’t let all of this grade and school stuff get to you like this.”

“It’s easier said than done. You all don’t know what it’s like for me. How awful it is to live inside my stupid brain.”

“So help me understand!” Liam exclaimed. “Not just me, but anyone. I’m sure Clara would be here for you in a heartbeat and it’s obvious Harry cares about you deeply even if you guys aren’t speaking.”

Louis scoffed bitterly. “He doesn’t, Liam. I don’t know what it is he wants anymore. He’s angry and then he’s not. He’s here and then he’s not. He told you we’re not speaking anymore, but he was with me for hours last night. I fell asleep in his arms!”

“I’m sure this is confusing for him as well,” Liam replied placatingly.

“He didn’t seem very confused when he was making out with that guy at the bonfire,” Louis added, bitterness laced in his tone.

Liam blinked at him, a crease forming between his brows. “I saw that. I’m sure it wasn’t great for you to have been there to witness it. Were you jealous?”

“Yes. As if that wasn’t obvious.”

“But you ended things,” Liam reasoned. “I thought it was your decision to not be together anymore.”

“It was!” Louis cried, suddenly feeling very frustrated by Liam’s line of questioning. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care that he’s hooking up with other people.”

“Why do you care?” Liam asked, his voice quiet. “I’m just trying to get the full picture and understand.”

“Because I just do, Liam,” Louis sniped petulantly.

“But why?”

“Because I’m in love with him!” Louis cried out, covering his face with his hands and letting out a quiet sob. It was the first time he’d said it out loud. It was also the first time he allowed the thought to form in his head and take root.

Louis was in love with Harry. He loved him. He loved him, he loved him, he loved him.

The mattress dipped beneath him and then Louis felt Liam’s arms wrapping around him in a tight hug. “Did it feel good to say out loud?”

Louis sniffled and grumbled, tucking his face in the crook of Liam’s neck. “You were doing that on purpose.”

“I was.”

“Dick.”

He felt Liam chuckle against him. “I’m sorry, Lou, but I needed you to admit it. It’s been obvious to the rest of us, but apparently not to you.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, drawing back from the hug to meet the other boy’s eyes.

“Your feelings for Harry. You kept acting like it was nothing and that you two weren’t serious, so I pushed you a little to help you see that it is clearly more.”

Louis rubbed his face clear of his tears. “Not to him. He said it’s over. Remember?”

“He thinks you no longer want to be with him.”

“He kissed someone else right in front of me,” Louis whined.

“Because he thinks you don’t want to be with him anymore!” Liam placed his hands on Louis’ arms and shook him a little. “Lou, if you end things with someone, they don’t owe you anything. You need to be clear with him if you want him to be clear with you as well.”

“I don’t know,” Louis murmured. “I’m a mess, Liam. He’s probably glad to be rid of me. The nurse told me that I need to make serious life changes if I want to be healthy and not develop chronic illnesses. It sounded a bit serious.”

“This stuff is serious, dude. Just because you act like it’s nothing doesn’t make it nothing.”

“I know,” he replied.

This was the wake-up call he needed. He realized that and he was ready to start working toward a better future. Not just for school, but for himself, too.

₊˚⊹♡

The shrill sound of Louis’ phone ringing startled him awake. He blearily reached for it on his bedside table, at first thinking it was his alarm, and realized it was a missed call when it stopped ringing on its own. He blinked repeatedly, trying to see through his hazy vision, and saw that it was nearly two in the morning. What the f*ck? Outside his window, the sky was pitch black with no sounds of birds chirping or students chatting while walking around on campus. It was the dead of the night. He groaned out loud and let out a yawn. Who the f*ck was calling him now? Rubbing his knuckles over his eyes, he looked at his screen once more and jolted upward.

Harry.

Harry had called.

Why was Harry calling him? That, in and of itself, was suspicious. But what made it even weirder was how late it was.

While Louis debated whether he should call Harry back or not (it could have been a butt dial), he was startled once more when he felt his phone vibrating and ringing again in his hand. Harry’s name flashed across the screen along with the stupid selfie he took on Louis’ phone one night for his contact photo. He looked blissful, happy, and comfortable, and staring at it made Louis want to burst into tears. He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat before clicking on the accept button.

“Hello?” he said tentatively.

“Lou,” Harry slurred into the phone.

“Harry?”

“Hiii,” Harry crooned. “Louis, hi.”

“Are you drunk?” Louis asked as he sat up.

“Yeah,” Harry giggled. “I am super drunk.”

“Okay,” Louis slowly said. “Where are you?”

Harry giggled again unhelpfully. “That’s actually kind of why I was calling you. I may, or may not, have snuck off campus.”

“What?” Louis gasped. “Harry, tell me you’re not in Mayfair.”

“Uhhhh,” Harry trailed off, which was enough of an answer for Louis.

He quickly climbed out of bed, reaching for his socks, which were lying on the floor. “Where are you, Harry?” he repeated.

“I’m at that bar I brought you to when we came out here. When we did karaoke.” He let out a chorus of giggles as he sang, “Just like the white winged dove sings a song. Sounds like she's singing, I said, ooh, baby, ooh, said ooh.”

“Why did you go there? On a school night, no less.”

Harry sounded affronted as he responded, “It’s five o’clock somewhere, Louis. I can do what I want!”

His tone pissed Louis off and he felt his annoyance dripping into his own tone. “So what exactly do you want from me?” Louis knew the answer, but he still wanted Harry to say it, to be nicer if he was going to ask for such a big favor from him.

It took him a moment and Louis figured he was probably grappling between helplessness and his heightened ego. “Can you please come get me?” he muttered miserably. “I don’t really trust myself in the forest right now.”

Louis took a deep breath. “Fine. Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be there. Also, share your location.”

He ended the call and prayed to God that Harry was able to take care of himself during the time it took him to get to the bar. The path Harry took them down was pretty straightforward and Louis remembered it for the most part. Having Harry’s location in hand would guide Louis the right way if he were to get lost. Hopefully, that wouldn’t happen. He just needed to get an extra flashlight in addition to the one on his phone and maneuver through the dark forest properly. Piece of cake.

Louis finished getting dressed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a sweater over his pajamas, and bundled up in his dark coat and boots. It had snowed a bit overnight and he didn’t want to slip and fall with no one around to help him. He crept out of the dorm building and tried to be discreet and quiet as he ran toward the forest. He got lost at least twice and was trying his absolute best not to panic in the dark. He had his flashlights on the whole way and kept repeating Hail Mary’s just to ward off any demonic spirits.

Eventually, he made it out onto the familiar road that Harry had led them to when they’d come out here. The streets of Mayfair were empty save for a pedestrian or two. It was a bit creepy there as well since there weren’t too many lamp posts along the walk path. Louis hurried toward the karaoke bar and let out a frustrated sigh when he felt snowflakes coming down on him. f*cking Harry. Why did he have to put Louis in this situation? Not that he forced Louis to come out. He fully agreed to do it because Harry called him. He could have asked Zayn or Niall to come to get his ass, but Harry called Louis. The fact that he thought of Louis at a time when he was vulnerable and felt a bit lost...

That had to count for something.

When Louis arrived at the karaoke bar, he found Harry already standing outside, slumped against the corner of the wall, his eyes half-drooping. He looked up at the sound of Louis’ footsteps approaching and stood up straight, giving him an embarrassed look.

“You came,” he said, his cheeks pink against his pale skin.

Louis nodded all the while taking him in. Harry looked warm beneath his coat and there were no bruises on his face, which meant he was good and still in one piece. “Do you need help walking? The roads are pretty slippery.”

“No, I should be good. I drank some water and being out here sobered me up a bit.”

“Alright. Let’s go before we get in trouble,” Louis sighed.

Harry followed with a nod and the two of them began walking back toward the school. After a while, Harry cleared his throat. “Thanks for coming. I wasn’t sure if you’d come.”

“I told you I would,” Louis replied. “You’re really that surprised?”

“I’m just never sure what the deal is with us anymore,” Harry shrugged. “It’s hard to figure out what’s allowed and what isn’t.”

Louis’ brows furrowed as he kept his gaze down. “Well, don’t say that like it’s just been me laying down the rules. You haven’t exactly been the most approachable person. I mean, you were the one who told me you don’t want to speak to me.”

“I know,” Harry huffed out as he ran his fingers through his hair and brushed off the small flakes of snow. “I’m just — I’m really f*cked up right now, okay? My head’s spinning and I feel like I’m going to throw up. I didn’t really think before I called you, but I get it was a mistake and a hassle for you. I should have just called Niall or Zayn.”

“It’s fine,” Louis sighed, peering at him. “Why’d you come out here anyway?”

“I needed to get away,” Harry responded as they approached the road leading into the forest. Louis paused and fished out his flashlight before flicking it on. He handed it to Harry, who took it from him wordlessly, and then turned on the flashlight on his phone. Harry reached for his own phone. “Should I turn mine on, too?”

“I think we’ll be good,” Louis said as they began walking again. “So you needed to get away?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered. “This wasn’t intentional, though. I just needed to get off campus for a bit, but somehow ended up at the bar. And even then, I didn’t mean to get this drunk. I think the last time I did something like this was when my mom told me to piss off.”

Louis’ eyes flickered over to Harry in surprise. Harry hardly ever brought up his birth mom. All Louis knew was that she’d never really been in the picture. They didn’t have much of a relationship. While he’d always been curious to know more, he never thought to ask about it in case it was a touchy subject that Harry didn’t feel comfortable talking about. With Harry bringing it up voluntarily now, Louis couldn’t hold back his curiosity.

“She told you that?” he asked.

“More or less. It was my fault, though.”

“How was it your fault?”

“I went looking for her when she clearly didn’t want to be found,” he explained. “Growing up, my dad always just said that my mom wasn’t ready to have a family. That’s why she wasn’t around. I believed him up until a couple of years ago. For some reason, I thought he may have been lying to me. So I went digging and I found her. Scarlett Quinn. That’s her name. She lives in New York and she’s married to this entertainment lawyer. When she saw me, she was...shocked. Not so thrilled. We chatted a bit and I could tell the whole vibe was off. Still, I couldn’t help it. I asked if she’d want to keep in touch and she told me she doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Didn’t explain to me why, but I think I remind her of a past life that she wants to forget. That and she’s with this new guy and who knows if he knows about my dad or me? She’s living in a lap of luxury out there. I’m sure she doesn’t want to cramp her style by getting to know her teenage son.”

Louis watched as Harry rubbed his lips together, glazed eyes focused as he tried to walk in a straight line and follow Louis’ lead through the forest. There was so much he wanted to say and ask, but he had a feeling Harry didn’t need all of that right now. He was just venting, not looking for advice, a pep talk, or pity. Sometimes, all you needed was someone to lean on and to listen to you. He just hoped Harry knew that even though Scarlett didn’t want him around, there were still plenty of people who did.

For example, Louis would do anything to have Harry in his life again. f*ck, he was so desperate for it, he snuck off school grounds at three in the morning to go fetch him from the bar just for a few moments with him.

“For what it’s worth,” Louis said. “I don’t think it was your fault.”

“Okay,” Harry replied, his voice quiet.

“Did you have a bad day or something?”

Harry shrugged noncommittally. “Why do you want to know?”

Louis glowered at him. “Stop being a dick.”

“I asked you for your help to get me back to the dorms. Not to have chit-chat the entire way. Stop acting like you care.”

“Well, you stop acting like this was all me, Harry. It wasn’t just me. You don’t want me either.”

Scoffing, Harry rolled his eyes. “You can say that all you want if it helps you feel better, but it wasn’t me that ended it.”

“I tried talking to you abou—”

“Yes, I had a bad day,” Harry cut him off frustratedly. “I had a f*cking awful day and I wanted to drink myself into oblivion until I couldn’t remember anything about it. I even tried making out with this girl at the bar, but it didn’t help. The drinking didn’t help. The handjob in the bathroom didn’t help. Nothing helped.”

Bile rose in Louis’ throat and he swallowed thickly as he looked away in disgust. “That’s f*cking great.”

“Oh, are you jealous again?”

“Nope,” Louis gritted out. “I’m not doing this with you again.”

“Whatever, Louis. It doesn’t f*cking matter anyway because none of the people I’ve made out with has helped me forget you. So congratulations! I’m still f*cking obsessed with you!”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Louis spat at him. “If you were so obsessed with me, how come every time I see you, you’re hooking up with someone else?”

“You can’t tell me who I can hook up with. We’re over.”

“I’m not! Kiss whoever you want. f*ck if I care,” Louis retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. He regretted coming out here now. All for what? To pick Harry up from his hookup and walk his bitch ass back to the dorms? f*ck that. Louis began to speed walk, not caring that Harry was struggling to keep up, his breathing growing shallower.

“You wouldn’t care, would you?” Harry began to say. “I could kiss all the strangers I want, but you don’t care. You never cared about me. You were always scared of how you felt with me and that’s why you ended things.”

Louis rounded on him, glaring. “What?”

“I said you were scared of being with me.”

“I was not.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying!” Louis bit out before groaning and turning back around.

They reached campus and silently hurried toward the dorms. Once there, Louis was fully intending to go straight into his own building and go back to sleep when he felt Harry grab his hand and stop him. Louis whirled around, ready to unleash all hell on him, but the soft look on Harry’s face stopped him. He stood there, agape, and couldn’t get the words out.

“I’m just hurting,” Harry whispered, his pink lips bitten raw. He looked breathtaking against the backdrop of the snowy white campus. “I never expected it to hurt this bad.”

“Me neither,” Louis admitted, his gaze still resting on Harry’s lips. He instinctively moved closer and waited for Harry to move back or push him away. Harry just stared at him, his green eyes dark and molten, small puffs of air escaping his mouth with each breath he took. In a way, Louis was hoping something like this would happen. This was always how it was with them. Charged, heated conversations where their emotions ran high because no one got under their skin like each other. Until it all simmered down to this.

They were made for each other, Louis thought, as he took another step closer. Harry’s breath hitched, his body stilling.

Louis leaned up and pressed the faintest kiss to Harry’s lips, and waited, a shuddery breath slipping out of him. Time seemed to stand still and Harry made no move. It was so hard to read him. Did he want to kiss Louis back? Was he repulsed by it and already over him? There was a time when a kiss from Louis was all Harry wanted. Now, Louis wasn’t so sure anymore. And then, Harry suddenly reciprocated by kissing him with a desperate pull, his body melting into Louis’. His mouth was demanding, and his kiss was soft. It was deep. It was full of hunger and want and need. A moan escaped Louis as he let his mouth open under Harry’s, the heat of his tongue inviting and delicious and so familiar.

“Harry,” he whispered, his fingertips tracing a line down the side of the other boy’s throat. He wanted to kiss it all away. A kiss to say sorry for ending things. A kiss to say sorry for all the pain he caused. A kiss that would rewind and take away everything that had gone wrong.

“You’re distracting me,” Harry murmured, his mouth touching Louis’ in a brutal, punishing kiss. “Stop.”

“You’re the one kissing me.”

Harry’s hand came down over his sweatpants to roughly squeeze Louis’ ass, making him whine and arch up, their hips meeting. “Stop,” Harry growled out as he drew back and created distance between them. “Just let me get this out, okay?”

“Okay,” Louis nodded, his hand coming up to touch his swollen lips as he panted, slightly out of breath. “Go ahead.”

“You’ve got my mind all frazzled,” he began, his chest heaving as he ran his fingers through his hair again.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s –it’s fine. I just wanted to say that me kissing other people was to try and stop the hurting. It’s confusing because the hurting sometimes turns to resentment.”

Louis felt his face crumple. “You resent me.”

“Sometimes, yeah,” Harry admitted. “This was just about messing with you. I wanted to get under your skin.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. “But now, Louis, I can’t stop thinking about you. Even after all of this, I’m still wondering when I’ll see you. What you’re doing. How you’re doing.”

“Harry,” Louis pleaded. “You know how much you mean to me.”

“Not enough, clearly,” Harry shook his head before letting his hand go. “Kissing won’t change what happened, or what you did.”

“That’s not —”

“Thanks for helping me out, okay? I’m going to go upstairs. Good night,” Harry said as he began walking toward his dorm. He then paused and turned for a moment. “Please do sleep, by the way. You need it.”

And with that, he was gone. The words were there in Louis’ throat again — stop, don’t go, i love you — but he couldn’t say them.

₊˚⊹♡

Louis exited his Physics exam prep room and headed toward the dining hall for a quick lunch before he got settled in at the library for the day. He was mentally making a list of all the study guides he was going to make when he felt a hand wrap around his wrist, pulling him backward. He let out a surprised sound before his expression morphed into a grimace.

“What the f*ck, Theo,” Louis growled, jostling his wrist away. “Let me go.”

“Louis,” Theo half-whined, half-begged. “Babe, please don’t be like that. Don’t be so dismissive already. I’ve given you so much time to process what happened.”

“What are you even talking about?” Louis asked. He tried not to cringe at Theo calling him babe after all this time and everything that happened. He had a lot of nerve.

“I was hoping we could talk,” Theo said. “We’ve been broken up a few months now and I don’t know. I feel like I deserve a chance to say my piece regarding everything.”

Louis fought the urge to not roll his eyes. He really didn’t want to give Theo any of his time. He already had so much to do and if he wanted to get it done at a reasonable time so he didn’t have to stay up all night, he needed to start now. Louis was being a lot better about that. There were days when it was hard, but he genuinely was making an effort to not go overboard with everything school-related.

The only thing that was stumping him was Theo’s wording. It occurred to Louis that he didn’t always allow others room to speak when he felt like they hurt or wronged him. He was always quick to cut them off and that was the end of it, which he now realized wasn’t fair. Add that to his list of things to work on. It only seemed to be getting longer.

“Fine,” he said warily. “Tell me what you have to say.”

“Okay, well, this whole thing has been really hard for me. I feel like we broke up so suddenly. We were together for so long and suddenly we weren’t.”

“Well, you cheated on me,” Louis reminded him while crossing his arms over his chest and co*cking a hip out. “What did you expect?”

“Fine,” Theo choked out, his entire face blooming into a shade of deep pink. “I admit it. I cheated, but Louis, it was just one moment of weakness. I genuinely had never done that to you before. It was the one and only time and I wish I could take it all back.”

“That’s supposed to make it better?” Louis shook his head disbelievingly. “Theo, you’ve always had a wandering eye. Stop acting like this was the only time you were tempted. I could name at least three specific times when you flirted with other people right in front of me. And what makes it worse is that you genuinely thought this would never get back to me. You were fully okay with lying to me.”

“Only because I didn’t want to hurt you,” Theo emphasized, moving closer, his eyes widened and earnest. “I shouldn’t have done it.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“But it’s done. We can’t change the past.”

“No, we can’t,” Louis agreed. “But what is it that you want from me right now?”

“I want to apologize and I also want you back, Lou. Please. I’m begging you. I miss you so much. There’s no one like you...you know that. You know how special you are to me.”

Theo flashed his blue, blue eyes, round and puppy-like, and Louis had just about had enough. This was always Theo’s MO whenever they had fights and had broken things off or needed space. He came crawling back, asking for forgiveness, and swearing up and down that he was going to change. Back then, Louis kind of fell for it. He took him back because he believed that they were always going to be together. That cycle became exhausting and he’d had enough. Plus, Louis didn’t forgive cheaters.

For a split second, though, he entertained the thought. Could he see himself with Theo again? The very thought nauseated him. It felt wrong.

“Theo,” Louis slowly began. “Do you honestly think we could ever be the same again? I agree that what’s done is done and the past is the past, but we are over. If you really wanted to make it work with me for the long run, you should have thought of me before sleeping with someone else and then lying to me about it. I hope they were worth it.”

“Louis, come on —”

“Are you done?” he asked gruffly. “I have stuff to do and I have to go.”

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Theo spluttered. “I thought what we had was real. You would just throw it all away just like that?”

“Stop making yourself out to be the victim. You cheated!”

“Is this about Styles?”

“Styles?” Louis frowned.

“He wouldn’t admit it, but I can kind of tell he was hiding something from me. Is there something going on between you two?” Theo demanded.

“I love him,” Louis replied plainly.

The words shocked Theo into silence. He stood there with his jaw all the way to his knees while Louis stared back at him with a deadpan look.

“It’s true,” Louis confirmed. “I feel for him what I never felt for you. And I may have lost him, who knows? But either way, you and I are never ever getting back together.”

Theo looked like he was getting ready to fire back a response, but Louis just laughed drolly in his face. “Gotta go.” He briskly began walking toward the dining hall, but then stopped and turned to face Theo again. “I didn’t get a chance to tell him how I feel about him yet, so keep that between us, okay? Think of it as your one last favor to me!”

Theo just stared at him, still in shock, and Louis felt a small pang in his chest. This was goodbye. For real. It felt good to finally close that chapter of his life once and for all. Now, all Louis was looking forward to was the future.

Chapter 8: 8 | HARRY

Chapter Text

Over the years, many people expressed how much they envy Harry for the carefree way he went about life. It came easily to him. He knew that most things in life were temporary, so he never took anything too seriously. Lately, though, he’d reached a new level of carelessness. Some would even call it complete apathy.

His days passed by in a monotonous blur. Although he went to his classes, he barely paid attention, and then he left. He met his friends at the dining hall and hardly remembered what they talked about, let alone what he ate. And then he went back to his dorm room and slept for hours because he was so tired. At times, he even slept when he wasn’t tired because he didn’t want to be awake and keep going through the motions. At least, when he was asleep, he didn’t have to think. He didn’t have to do anything. His mind simply shut off and he wasn’t faced with the ever-present empty feeling inside of him.

Harry couldn’t pinpoint what tipped him over the edge and into this constant state of nothingness. If he had to guess, it was a mixture of everything that was going wrong in his life; the biggest being Louis. For a while, Harry tried numbing the pain by falling into the arms of another. Someone with pretty blue eyes or a nice rosy smile. Someone who reminded him of everything familiar. Harry fished for compliments and drowned himself in their temporary adoration. He tried drinking until he didn’t feel anything other than happy. But that didn’t work. Louis was still on his mind. He was always on his mind, but Harry was determined to get over him.

The plan was going accordingly until he ended up at Mayfair, drunk off his ass and not knowing who else to call but Louis. They kissed that night and that f*cked it all up. Since then Harry’s head had been a mess. It sucked because he used to be able to hide when he had sh*t on his mind. He could ignore all of his problems and glide through the school halls like the king they made him out to be. Senior year was supposed to be fun, after all. One last hurrah before he had to leave and start over somewhere else, but now, Harry couldn’t give a f*ck about any of it. Not his classes or football. Especially not football.

As he sat down on the locker room bench after a practice session, he vaguely caught bits and pieces of the various conversations happening around him.

“The scout from Penn State’s coming to the next game.”

“I heard. It’s going to be a big one.”

“Did you guys hear about the scouts from Stanford and Ohio State coming as well?”

“Coach mentioned it. I know a few of the boys want to impress them.”

“f*ck, the pressure’s getting to me.”

“You better not choke.”

“Hey! Isn’t Styles aiming for Stanford and Ohio State?”

“Oh, sh*t. You’re right. Yo, Styles!”

Harry blinked out of his stupor, slowly craning his neck around to glance at his teammates. They looked back at him, hair wet from their showers and all wearing towels around their waists. Harry needed to shower, too, but he didn’t want to get up. The practice had been a bit rough. He was out of it for most of the time and his movements had been sluggish. Thankfully, no one really said anything, but he wasn’t sure if the guys would call him out for it now.

“You good, dude?” Ian, one of the players, asked. “You seem a bit tired.”

Nodding his head, Harry said, “All good.”

“Did you hear about the scouts coming to the next game?”

Harry nodded, not offering much else.

“Isn’t your dad coming to the game as well?”

“I think so,” Harry replied.

He honestly didn’t know and didn’t really care. Harry wanted to do his best for his teammates, but also because it would suck to get to this point and then lose. After all the effort and time he’d put in for his high school football career, he couldn’t give up right before the last game. Eventually, his teammates went back to talking to each other as they sensed that he wasn’t in the greatest mood. It was for the best because Harry didn’t think he had it in him to chat with anyone. Before any more of the guys could try to pull him into a conversation, Harry gathered his things and headed out. He’d shower in his dorm. And then he’d sink into his bed and go to sleep.

₊˚⊹♡

“Can any of you give me an example where Blanche uses her sexuality and femininity to distract others from her secrets?” Mr. Collins stood at the front of the room, leaning back on the edge of his desk, while staring at the class expectantly. “This question will be on your final exam on Thursday, by the way.”

Harry quietly yawned, ducking his head down and staring out of the classroom window. It was the middle of December. Most of the leaves were gone from the trees, leaving the campus in shadows while the sun sank earlier in the day. Harry closed his eyes and pictured himself somewhere out there. Far away from this classroom and all of his classmates. Somewhere where he was alone and there was nothing to focus on other than just existing.

“Yes, Louis?”

He sucked in a quiet breath, still looking away from everyone, but acutely aware of the sound of Louis’ voice.

“In scene two, when Stanley asks Blanche to tell him the truth and more about Belle Reve, she tries to seduce him in order to keep him distracted. She flirts with him, sprays her perfume, and asks him to zip up her dress. Blanche was used to people being drawn to her by her femininity and her sexuality. Even though Stanley is her sister’s husband, Blanche still crosses that line, expecting that Stanley will fall for it. She wants them to continue believing what she’s told them about Belle Reve. To be honest, I think Blanche believes her own lies. She lives in her fantasy, a state of delusion, and has truly lost touch with reality. She thinks that if she continues to push this narrative, those around her will eventually believe her.”

Mr. Collins hummed thoughtfully. “What do you think led her to this point in her life?”

“The American Dream,” Louis replied.

Harry pressed his lips together, slowly lifting his head and glancing over to where Louis sat. He looked as perfect as usual. His perfectly pressed uniform fit him like a glove. His brown hair swept over his opal blue eyes. It was good to see him look put together and well-rested. The incident at the last swim meet seemed to have woken Louis up a little. That’s what Liam had told Harry, at least. They’d texted a bit after Harry left Louis in the nurse’s office. Harry wanted to make sure Louis was okay since he didn’t properly say goodbye to him. He just couldn’t lay there with him any longer once Louis had fallen asleep. The longer Harry stayed, the more he felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. Everything was still a mess between the two of them and Harry couldn’t allow himself to be any more vulnerable than he already had been.

He supposed he’d shown his cards when they walked back to campus from Mayfair the other night. Harry had said more than he wanted to, but he also couldn’t stand the way Louis looked at him. As though Harry was the one breaking Louis’ heart. It confused him because Harry was the one hurting. He didn’t want to stop seeing Louis. It was Louis who told him that none of it was real. Thinking about it now stung and brought a wave of bitterness. Still, Harry was happy to see him doing better. Louis’ eyes looked brighter, more alert. He looked healthier and Harry noticed him sometimes in the dining hall actually eating proper food. It was good progress. All Harry wanted was for Louis to be okay.

“Isn’t the American Dream a theme for Gatsby?” Kayla, one of their classmates, asked. “Is it one for A Streetcar Named Desire, as well?”

“Of course,” Louis answered before Mr. Collins could. “This play gives another great example where the American Dream turned into a nightmare for some of the characters.”

Mr. Collins smiled agreeably. “Can you explain why, Louis?”

“Blanche wanted the American Dream,” Louis began. “She married Allan, who ended up being queer, and because of that, she felt he wouldn’t be able to give her that picture-perfect all-American life with a big home and kids. She had a hand in his suicide, which then led to her own demise. She becomes an alcoholic and grows a reputation for sleeping around, which then eventually makes her a social pariah, so she has no choice but to move in with her sister. Stanley and Stella also want the American Dream, but it isn’t easy. You have to work hard for it and everyone wants it, but only a few get it.

“Stanley is meant to show all the things wrong with the American Dream. The ways in which it ruins how a person acts and thinks. The whole reason he’s angry at Blanche for lying about Belle Reve is because he thinks he may have lost out on something. It’s all self-interest. Meanwhile, Stella blindly believes her husband because she also thinks the American Dream is what will make them complete. In the end, Stanley wins. He does horrible, unmentionable things and faces no consequences. He achieves the American Dream and gains all the good things, but he drives Blanche to the brink of insanity to get there. All of this just goes to show how much of a nightmare the American Dream is. You may gain success, power, and status, but you’re going to lose yourself.”

Harry could feel eyes on him. Not just from his classmates, but from Louis, too. He realized belatedly that they were all waiting for him to chime in. Typically, during these types of class discussions, he did give his take. He found it fun and he liked engaging, especially with Louis, if only to rile him up a bit. But right now, Harry had nothing. Instead, his mind was stuck on Louis’ words and the way it always came back to the American Dream.

Sighing slowly, he closed his eyes and tucked his head back down.

The conversation continued around him, but Harry tuned it out once again until he heard the bell ring. He picked up his backpack and got up, trying to remember what class he had next. As he made his way out into the hall, he kept his gaze forward, but then felt someone place their hand on his shoulder. Harry twisted his head to the side and his brows furrowed when he saw Louis trying to keep up with him.

“Do you have a minute?” Louis asked.

“I — I think so,” Harry replied, slowing his steps. “What’s up?”

Instead of responding, Louis tugged him by his elbow toward a secluded alcove, giving them a sense of privacy from the crowds in the hallway. “Sorry for ambushing you like this.”

“It’s fine. Is everything okay?”

Louis nodded, though his gaze was unwavering as it took Harry in from head to toe. “I was just worried about you. You didn’t seem to be all there during class today.”

“I’m fine,” Harry replied curtly.

“Are you sure?” Louis pressed. “I know that the last time we spoke was a bit crazy, but Harry, I’m worried about you. I’ve been wanting to properly talk to you about something. Well, everything, but can’t seem to get to you. And now I’m just worried.”

Harry shook his head. “You don’t need to worry about me, Louis. I’ll be fine. You should take care of yourself.”

Louis’ lips parted, but he hesitated to speak. His demeanor became frantic as he said, “Harry, I don’t know what else to do.”

“About what?”

“You. I don’t know how to get through to you.”

“How about just leaving me alone?” Harry asked, a dry laugh escaping his lips. “Like for f*ck’s sake, Louis, what f*cking more do you want from me? I’m trying to give you the f*cking space you asked for and you just won’t stop. You’re pushing and you’re pushing. One minute, you don’t want anything to do with me, and the next minute, you’re begging me to talk with you. I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with any of your dramatic bullsh*t anymore. Everything with you is like it’s the end of the world. I’ve had it, Louis, please just leave me alone.”

Hurt flashed across Louis’ expression and settled deep. His eyes began filling, cheeks turning pink with embarrassment, and Harry immediately felt like sh*t. But he also didn’t know what else there was to say.

“Okay,” Louis said, his voice quiet.

Okay, Harry thought, even though it was anything but.

₊˚⊹♡

The energy at Saint Augustine felt different on game days. Excitement and school pride were evident as everyone wore green and white face paint, cheered on the football players whenever they walked into a classroom, and gathered en masse in the stadium later that night for the game. The bleachers were filled and the cheers were deafening. It was that energy that Harry fed off of when he played. He hoped, as he changed into his football uniform and gear for the last time, that it would get him through tonight as well.

He felt the pressure. It was the biggest game of the season and he knew how much was riding on them winning. Not just for his own future, but also for the future of his teammates. Harry had heard from his dad multiple times in the previous days and then again on game day. Jack was coming in for the game and he wanted Harry to be the star. Harry wasn’t sure about that, but he’d try his best. He’d been slacking during practice, but that didn’t mean he was rusty. Years of rigorous training and discipline didn’t go away just because he was in a funk.

While waiting for the rest of the team to change and settle in, Harry took a seat on the bench in front of his locker. He scanned the room, giving a couple of the guys a nod and a smile in greeting, before stopping short at Theo. For some reason, Theo was glaring daggers in his direction, looking murderous as he lifted his arm to put it through his jersey. Harry frowned back at him and then looked away. He had no idea what that idiot was up to, but he didn’t want to deal with him anymore.

If he was honest, he was pretty much done with this whole place, which sucked because he had liked it. He’d enjoyed his time here. Oftentimes, summers were spent looking forward to the fall because Harry felt most at home when he was at Saint Augustine. It wasn’t that he disliked it now. Rather, he was tired of it all. Wouldn’t it be better to leave now before it got even worse? He couldn’t imagine spending another five months here if things continued how they were now.

“Yo,” Paulie said, dropping down on the bench beside Harry. “What’s good? Excited for the last game?”

Harry gave him a small smile as he mustered up some semblance of energy. “Yeah, totally, dude. What about you?”

“I’m feeling good about it. I’m really going to miss it, though. Can’t believe this is our last game.”

“Yeah, the time really flew by,” Harry agreed. “Are you hoping to impress any of the scouts out there tonight?”

“Ohio State,” Paulie smiled sheepishly. “I mean, my grades aren’t the best, but I’m a good player.”

“You’re great, Paulie.”

“Thanks, dude. We’ll see how it goes.”

“You don’t think we’ll win?” Harry asked, detecting uncertainty in his tone.

“Oh, I know we will,” Paulie quickly added. “The Pembroke Panthers may be on a winning streak, but they have nothing on the Stallions. Not with the Harry Styles as our quarterback.”

Paulie nudged him with a wink and a teasing glint in his eyes, making Harry break out his first, genuine smile in a while. “Well, a quarterback is nothing without an amazing center.”

A loud laugh boomed out of Paulie. “Alright, I hear you. It’s not that I don’t think we’ll win. It’s not even about that for the scouts. It’s how you play.”

“We’ll do great, P,” Harry reassured him. “And if we don’t, it’s not the end of the world. They’ll still have all of our stats. They’ll know.”

“Put it there, brother,” Paulie said, offering his hand. Harry cupped it with his fingers and pulled Paulie in for a quick hug.

Soon after, they were told to start lining up to head out for the game. As Harry exited the locker room, he could hear the booming cheers from outside and felt his heart racing. He closed his eyes for a moment, standing in the hallway, while the rest of the team began lining up by number. When he opened his eyes, the first person he saw was Louis. He was standing at the far corner of the hallway, his hands clasped behind his back, with a timid expression on his face. Their eyes met and Harry instinctively began walking toward him.

“What are you — um, I mean. Hi.”

“Hi,” Louis said. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to be here.”

“It’s fine.”

Louis nodded, peering up at him through his lashes. “I just wanted to say good luck. I’ll be out there.”

“Oh,” Harry breathed out. He was once again surprised by Louis’ tenacity despite the number of times Harry had shunned him and spoken to him unkindly. Not only was he attending the game, but he’d also snuck in here to wish him luck. He kept coming back. Louis had always been headstrong, but this was unlike him. Swallowing thickly, Harry pushed down the guilt gnawing up his throat and said “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Louis smiled softly at him and Harry returned it, his heart racing twice as fast.

“Styles! Get in line, now!”

Harry turned around to look at their coach and knew that the glare being sent his way was no joke. They had to go out there. He faced Louis again, who gestured for him to do as the coach said before turning away. Harry watched his retreating form and decided that it may be time that he finally heard Louis out. All this time, Louis had been trying to talk with him and Harry hadn’t given him an opportunity. After this game, though, he was going to.

Slowly, the team made their way to the doors leading out to the football field. When the coach opened the door, Harry took a deep breath and walked out.

For one last time.

₊˚⊹♡

With a score of 30-12, the Saint Augustine Stallions won the final Championship game of the season.

Harry had gone through the game in a haze, almost like he was performing on autopilot. The moment they got their final touchdown and the buzzer sounded for the end of the game, Harry felt something lift from his chest. His teammates came rushing toward him and pulled him into a hug, making him laugh wetly as it all sank in. He was happy they won. He was happy that he was surrounded by the great team that he’d been playing with for the last four years. He was also happy because he knew deep down inside that this was it.

He never had to play another game of football again nor did he ever want to. It didn’t matter that the scouts were there. It didn’t matter that his dad planned his whole future around this. Harry had decided — he was done with football. For so long, he’d carried this with him. He’d wondered if he would ever pluck up the courage to say something and free himself from the expectations that he’d play college football and then go pro. Now, as he looked out at the cheering crowd, he realized that there was nothing that was going to convince him to do that.

Plus, it would be pretty cool to end it on such a high. He’d done his part for his dad, for this team, their coach, and the school. Now, he was going to put himself first.

Harry followed the rest of the team back to the locker room where they all showered and changed into clean clothes. The energy in there was frenetic in a positive way. Multiple people came over to hug him again and let him know to come through later for the party. Harry told them he’d see them there, but he had no intentions of going. He kept delaying his departure because if he walked out with any one of his teammates, they’d drag him to the bonfire, so he kept stalling until the locker room completely emptied out. Finally, when he felt safe doing so, he walked out and out into the quiet hall. He could no longer hear the crowd outside, but he kind of liked that.

What he wasn’t expecting was Jack waiting for him out there, a giant, beaming smile on his face.

“My boy!” he cheered, pulling Harry into a hug.

“Dad,” he said rigidly as he awkwardly hugged him back. “Wasn’t expecting you to still be here.”

“How could I leave? You didn’t come over to say hi to your old man. I didn’t want to head back home without seeing you properly. You played so well! I’m so proud of you.”

Harry smiled slowly. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

Jack stepped back, looking at Harry with pride all over his face. “You’ve truly outdone yourself. The way you played. I was sitting with the scouts and every single one of them was praising you.”

Not knowing what to say, Harry just smiled meekly. That didn’t deter Jack as he barreled on.

“I mean, seriously, kid. That last touchdown was unbelievable. You know, you’ve gotta keep this energy and this will to win going. I’ve got you all set up for the winter break.”

A crease formed between Harry’s brows. “What do you mean?”

“Football camp, buddy! What else? They’re doing winter sessions, too. I’ve already paid the deposit and secured you a spot.”

“Dad,” Harry sighed, shaking his head. “You didn’t even ask me.”

Jack’s smile waned. “Ask you? What’s there to ask? Don’t you want to keep training? The season’s done at school. You won’t have practices next term.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to spend my break playing football!”

“Harry, c’mon now. You need to stay in shape. College will be here before you know it and you’re going to want to stay on top of it if you want to keep up with everyone else.”

“I don’t want to,” Harry gritted out. “I’m done, Dad.”

“You’re done?” Jack frowned in confusion.

“Yes. I’m done with football. I don’t want to play anymore.”

Jack stared at him in shock, as though he was having a hard time understanding, before letting out a soft, shaky laugh. “You don’t mean that. You’re just tired. You’ll have a break, I promise. The winter session is only a couple of days.”

“No.”

“Harry —”

“I said no. I can’t think of anything worse than going through more than I already have. I hate football.”

“What are you talking about?” Jack exclaimed. “Football is your future! This is all we’ve been working toward.”

“Football was never my future,” Harry cried out in frustration. “It was what you wanted my future to be. I never asked for it. I hate it. I did it just to make you happy and I’m done doing that. I’m so f*cking done with it.”

Scoffing, Jack retorted, “After everything I’ve done for you, you’re going to just throw it all away?”

“What you’ve done? What have you done?”

“I paid for everything.”

“I never asked for it,” Harry replied, throwing his hands up in the air.

“For f*ck’s sake, Harry. Here you go again, acting like a complete brat,” Jack argued, his expression callous and unforgiving. “This is the problem when you give your kids everything. They grow up as ungrateful little sh*ts.”

“Oh, f*ck off, Dad. You’re just upset because your glory days are over. You want to live them again through me. You’re literally a giant cliche.”

“Watch your tone.”

“No, because it’s time you face the truth. Jack Styles is an old, has-been that never wanted a son. He just wanted a clone robot so that he wouldn’t have to face the fact that his life is essentially over. All he has are his football trophies, his trophy wife, and a son who he tormented into being just like him.” Harry let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t want to be anything like you because you’re pathetic.”

“I said watch your f*cking tone, Harry,” Jack hissed, taking a step toward him.

Harry took a step forward as well, leveling their gazes. “I’m not afraid of you. What are you going to do?”

“Harry.”

“Hit me? f*cking do it.”

“You are testing me right now, son.”

“f*ck you. I don’t want to be your son. I f*cking hate yo—”

Suddenly, he felt a hand tugging on his arm. “Harry, stop!” he heard, realizing it was Louis.

But Harry couldn’t look at him or listen. Not with his father’s infuriatingly stubborn expression looking back at him. “Did you hear me?” Harry asked him. “I hate you and I hate football.”

“We’ll talk when you’ve calmed down,” Jack responded.

“No,” Harry shook his head, and suddenly, it all became too much. Tears clouded his vision. “My decision is final whether you like it or not.”

Jack snorted drolly. “We’ll see about that.”

Harry lunged toward him again, ready to scream his ear off, when Louis wrapped both his arms around Harry’s waist to pull him back. “Let’s go! C’mon,” Louis begged. “Please, Harry.”

Not wanting to cry in front of his stupid excuse of a father, Harry let Louis lead him out of there, the two of them walking out through the emergency exit doors and into a quiet corner. Without saying anything, Louis wrapped Harry in a hug, his body warm and comforting. For once, Harry didn’t fight back. He held onto Louis as though his life depended on it and let out the sob he’d been choking down for the last ten minutes. Tears trickled down his face while Louis stroked his back.

“It’s okay,” Louis whispered.

“I’m sorry for crying.”

“Why would you be sorry for that?”

“I don’t know,” Harry replied, his voice breaking. “Just feels like I should apologize.”

“You can cry, Harry. I’m here for you.”

Harry squeezed his eyes shut as he hid his face in the crook of Louis’ neck, inhaling his familiar scent. More tears escaped and he let them. It was ironic that all these days he’d been pushing Louis away for hurting him, but when it came down to it, he needed Louis so much. Harry didn’t know who he could turn to if he couldn’t turn to Louis.

₊˚⊹♡

They ended up in Louis’ dorm room. As soon as Louis walked in, he began preparing hot chocolate for Harry, despite him protesting that he was fine and didn’t want anything. Harry figured Louis was just as nervous as he was. This was the first time they’d been alone like this in a long time. The longer Harry sat on Louis’ bed, awkward and stoic, the more he wanted to just get up and leave. But the thought of leaving and being alone stopped him. He didn’t want to be alone now.

Louis walked over to him with two cups of hot chocolate. Harry took the one he offered to him, catching his eyes. “Thank you,” he said.

“Of course,” Louis returned, taking a seat beside him. He blew into his cup and took a tentative sip and Harry did the same.

“It tastes good.”

“Thanks. It’s Godiva. Nearly done with the packets I got.”

Harry hummed, taking another small sip. As silence fell over them once more, his thoughts drifted back to his heated conversation with his dad. Nothing was resolved from it. They still had so much more to talk about and Harry already felt defeated. Jack was hardheaded, stubborn, and impossible to get through to. Harry had tried multiple times over the years, so he really didn’t know how this was going to end. The only difference between then and now was that Harry was set on quitting football. The idea of playing throughout his college career filled him with such imminent dread that he felt sick to his stomach just thinking about it. He quickly shook those thoughts away and drank the rest of his hot chocolate.

Once they were done, Louis took the cups, placed them on his desk, and sat back down beside him. He cleared his throat before looking at Harry. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Harry replied, staring down at his hands. “I should go.”

“Oh.”

“I appreciate you being here for me, but I don’t want to impose.”

“Harry, you’re not imposing. I told you I’m here for you.”

“Why?” Harry asked. “I’ve been really cruel to you.”

“It’s not like I didn’t deserve it.”

“Don’t — don’t say that.”

“It’s true,” Louis insisted. “I know I hurt you.”

“You broke my heart, Louis.” He finally turned to look at Louis properly, his eyes stinging with oncoming tears.

Louis’ own eyes were shining as he let out a shaky exhale. “Harry, you know I didn’t mean to. You have to know that.”

As a rumbling sound left Harry’s throat, he cupped Louis’ face and brought their lips together. Goosebumps erupted over his skin immediately while Louis moved closer, sinking deep into Harry’s encircling arms. Their tongues touched and the wet heat of Louis’ mouth made Harry drowsy with want. He heard himself moan at Louis’ impatient hands running over his shoulders and down his back.

“I’ve thought about this so much,” Louis said against his lips, his breaths shallow. “You’re all I think about.”

“Do you miss me? Do you miss this?”

“I miss you. Even now. I want you, all the time.”

Harry nudged their noses together. “Yeah?”

Louis nodded. He sat up on his knees while Harry held him close, body tilting to the side to accommodate the other boy. Harry wanted to give in to this. He wanted Louis just as bad, but he was such a mess. It felt like he’d escaped the brink of a major breakdown and Louis just had one himself not too long ago. They both had so much going on and this would just be a bad idea. But that was exactly what he’d thought when they first slept together. He gave in then and he could feel himself giving in now.

Harry’s mouth glided down to Louis’ neck, kissing and biting him. His skin felt soft and silky. Harry pressed a slow, soft kiss over the mark he left while one of his hands slid to Louis’ waist.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Louis breathed out.

“I’m thinking about you f*cking me.”

“Yeah,” Louis moaned out, his eyes closed, as the flat of Harry’s tongue ran along his skin.

Louis’ thumb reached for Harry’s jaw delicately as he moved it to face him again. His mouth covered Harry’s in a hungry and desperate kiss. The soft, languid presses of their lips and tongues soon grew to be too much and not enough. Louis was beginning to writhe against Harry and Harry shifted him up the bed. He barely drew back before Louis was grabbing fistfuls of his shirt to keep him close.

“No, don’t,” he begged. “Don’t go. Please don’t go.”

“I’m here,” Harry said to him, pressing several kisses to his cheek. “I’m right here.”

Louis looked unsure for a moment, almost as though he was scared Harry was going to leave him like this, but then his expression slowly evened out. They worked in unison to take their clothes off, pausing in between to kiss and touch. It felt like a reunion. Their bodies yearned to make up for the weeks they’d been apart.

Harry lowered his lips to Louis’ while straddling him. He felt Louis’ hands stroke up his thighs before tightening his grip against them.

“Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” Louis asked as he drew back.

Harry narrowed his eyes at him. “I’m still mad at you.”

“Stop being mad,” Louis said, lips pouted.

“That’s not your call to make.”

“No,” Louis said as his knuckles brushed against Harry’s hard co*ck. “But it seems like this part of you isn’t too mad at me.”

“Shut up,” Harry rasped, tilting his head to take Louis in a deep kiss. He felt Louis circle his shaft with his fingers, stroking him slowly. His own hands shook as he let out a gasping breath. He didn’t want to come too soon, but it had been a while. He shook his head as he looked into Louis’ eyes. “Wait, I’m getting close.”

Louis released him, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “I’ve got lube. In the side table. Grab it?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded quickly, sliding off to grab it from his bedside table. He went back into a similar position once he squeezed some of the lube onto his fingers and spread it along the crease of his ass and around his hole. As he stretched himself open, he felt Louis’ erection rock against his, and Harry let out a low, guttural moan. “f*ck. I need you now.”

“Are you ready?” Louis asked, his eyes wide with concern.

“Yeah, yeah, just sit back,” he said.

Louis spread his thighs a bit more to allow Harry more room and took hold of his hips. Harry had both of his knees planted on either side of Louis’ waist and he lifted up slightly before slowly sitting down on Louis’ co*ck. His face scrunched up, half in pain from still being tight, but also half in pleasure because the burn felt good. His breath hitched as he began to move up and down Louis’ length, trying to get accustomed to his size.

“You’re so tight,” Louis whimpered, his hands skimming up and down Harry’s thighs. “Feel so good. Do you feel good?”

“Yes, yes,” Harry whined out, his eyes tempted to flutter shut as he rose up and sank lower. His pace was slow, their hips parting softly while he rolled his hips each time to get Louis in deeper. “Nothing feels like this.”

“Not even all those people you hooked up with?”

“No,” Harry shook his head, as his lips closed in on Louis’ in a languid kiss. “Don’t even remember them.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I swear. I can’t get enough of you.”

Harry began increasing the speed of his hips, while Louis’ fingers skimmed along his thighs and urged him forward. The bed creaked as they moved together. Harry trailed kisses down to Louis’ neck again, laving over the pink and reddened love bites from before with his tongue. He heard Louis let out soft moans at the ministrations of his lips, and the sounds lit something up inside of him. He could feel his org*sm tingling and building.

Resting his forehead against Louis’, Harry raced toward it.

“I love you.”

Harry froze, his entire body stilling like every muscle was paralyzed. He stared at Louis in complete shock and sudden fear.

Louis’ darkened blue eyes looked into his imploringly. “Harry,” he whispered out again. “Harry, I love you.”

“St—stop,” Harry shook his head. “What are you...what are you even saying?”

“What do you mean what am I saying?”

“You don’t,” Harry answered, his voice firm as he pulled Louis’ co*ck out of him. “You don’t. So don’t say that you do.”

“Yes, I do,” Louis cried. “I love you more than anything. I love you more than myself. And it’s okay if you don’t love me like that, or at all, but you — you feel something for me, right?”

“Louis —”

Harry froze again as he stared down at the bed and the soft purple sheets. Louis sniffled in front of him, reaching for his hand.

“It’s okay if you don’t. Feel anything for me, I mean. But I hope that maybe someday you’ll forgive me and maybe love me even a little. I’m okay with that. I know that it’s hard to say these things and open up this way, but I don’t feel scared with you. I used to, but not anymore. I’ve had time to sit with this and I know you deserve time as well. I just wanted you to know that I love you. I love you so much that sometimes I think it’s killing me.”

Louis was full-on crying now and Harry didn’t know what to do. There was a part of him that knew saying these words back to Louis would feel freeing. It would also be true. But another part of him was also deathly scared. Louis was capable of ruining Harry and he did. Harry felt like he’d been a shell of a person after Louis broke things off with him, but he also couldn’t remember anything before him. He never felt that level of intense passion and emotion for anyone before.

It was only ever Louis. It was always only ever going to be Louis.

“Louis,” he whispered. “What can I say?”

“I just want you to be honest with me.”

“Fine,” he said resolutely. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else. Is that enough for you?”

Harry watched as Louis’ lips parted and he moved forward. His fingers snaked into Harry’s hair and pulled him toward him in a kiss. Harry’s breath caught against his lips and he felt a rush of pleasure skitter through him when their bodies met once more.

“It’s okay,” Louis mumbled, allowing their lips to brush together over and over. “It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re everything.”

“You, too,” Harry said, his voice cracking with emotion.

“Can you f*ck me?” Louis asked. “Please.”

The words burned through Harry like an electric shock. He nodded his head, helping Louis onto his back, and his knees dipped between the other boy’s thighs to spread them. Grabbing more lube and spreading some onto his fingers, he slid one hand down to circle Louis’ rim, while his other palm rested flat on the bed beside Louis’ head.

“Don’t take too long,” Louis said. “I want to come with you inside of me.”

“I’m going to come if you don’t stop saying these things to me.”

Louis smiled softly and then elicited a surprised moan as Harry pushed two of his fingers inside of him. He looked like he was consumed by lust, cheeks red and eyes half-lidded as he took another finger. He slid his own fingers through Harry’s hair and pulled him down until their lips met, hot and dirty. Pleasure zipped down Harry’s spine and he was eager to get going. His erection hung heavy against his thigh, bobbing at the slightest movements.

He’d thought that the sudden pause in sex would kill the mood. That Louis would push him away because he wasn’t able to say those three words to him yet, but if anything, it intensified everything. That was what made them special. They could always be honest and didn’t shy away from telling each other how they felt. Sometimes, these confessions were a bit too honest and vulnerable. Sometimes they were filled with venom and vitriol, geared to hurt and start a fire in the other. Through it all, they still accepted each other. They knew what they meant to each other.

Harry did love him. He loved Louis deeply in a way that no one else loved him, or would ever love him. He just wasn’t sure if Louis loved him the same.

“I’m ready,” Louis said, arching into Harry, his hips canting up every time Harry slid his fingers in and out. “C’mon.”

Louis’ fingers clutched Harry’s shoulders, fingernails digging in, as Harry pushed in until he was buried deep. Their hips angled together as Harry rocked into Louis. The feeling of Louis stretching around his co*ck and opening up for him made Harry feel wild and feverish. His searing, solid weight caged Louis in as he pressed his body into his. Harry’s pace quickened, the slapping of skin echoing around them, while Louis raked his hands down his back, urging him even closer. Sweat slicked their skin and Harry felt breathless. He could feel Louis everywhere.

“I’m close,” Louis said, his voice a soft, breathy whimper.

“Me, too.”

“f*ck,” Louis panted out. “I’m so in love with you.”

Harry shook his head, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “You’re full of sh*t.”

“f*ck you.”

Harry exhaled a laugh as he twisted their hands together and pulled Louis’ wrists above his head. He bore down his weight over Louis, keeping them pinned together. With the new angle, Louis’ body elongated, stretching him out. Harry pushed the head of his co*ck inside of Louis’ hole before withdrawing completely. When he pushed in again, it sent him deeper inside Louis’ body, causing a bulge to form on Louis’ stomach. Harry sucked in a sharp breath. His eyes flicked between the bulge and where they were connected. It made him feel mad and he wanted to fuse them both together so that they didn’t know where one of them began and the other ended.

“Harry,” Louis cried out before biting down on his lips to keep from screaming. Louis’ org*sm slammed into him, stealing his breath, as he spurted streaks of come between them.

Harry wasn’t far behind. His org*sm had been building and building. Another couple of thrusts and he felt himself coming hard, emptying himself inside of Louis. His head felt like it was floating.

It was then that he realized that neither of them had used a condom. When he looked at Louis to see if he’d also noticed, he found the other boy’s eyes fluttering closed. Sliding out of him, Harry stayed on top of him, wrapping his arm around his waist.

“Are you going to stay?” Louis asked, his eyes open again as he cupped Harry’s cheeks and kissed him once and then again.

“I don’t know. I shouldn’t,” Harry said.

“Please stay. I want to sleep next to you.”

Harry couldn’t say no to him. If Louis continued to look at him with this desperate adoration in his eyes, he could probably get Harry to do anything for him. Burn the world down, even. He had Harry in the palm of his hand. Nodding, Harry moved so that they were lying side by side. Louis’ arms wrapped around his waist as he hugged him close, with no semblance of space between them.

₊˚⊹♡

The sound of Harry’s phone vibrating on the floor woke him up. He squinted as he looked around the room, at first confused before he registered the body beside his and the memories from last night came rushing back. He let out a soft breath as he looked at Louis’ sleeping form, his chest rising up and down as he snored lightly. Harry decided to ignore his phone in favor of curling around Louis and going back to sleep. It was Saturday, anyway, and they were allowed to sleep in. Louis’ body was warm and inviting. Harry kissed his shoulder, trailing kisses along his neck as he inhaled the musky smell of sweat and sex and Louis.

Louis barely moved, so deeply asleep that Harry couldn’t help but smile. He always slept like a log after they had sex. It was like his body just gave out and relaxed. Harry wrapped his arm over Louis’ waist, flattening his palm over Louis’ bare stomach and stroking it softly. His eyes fluttered shut, mind already shutting down as he began to fall asleep.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Harry blinked awake. He was sure his phone was ringing at first, but single buzzes meant text messages. Curious as to who was trying to reach him now, he turned around and looked down at the ground. His phone was sticking out from his jeans pocket. Harry reached for it and looked through his notifications while stretching his legs out.

Dad (9:05 AM): I’m still in town.

Dad (9:05 AM): Last night got out of hand.

Dad (9:05 AM): Let’s talk.

His brows furrowed. Jack usually never stayed overnight. He normally came straight from home and went back at the end of the game since it wasn’t too long of a drive. Jack must have gotten himself a room for the night. While Harry didn’t feel like talking with him now, he knew it was inevitable. It was best to get it over with, especially after last night.

Now that Jack had gotten some sleep and they were both down from the high of the game and the win, they’d be more level-headed. Maybe Jack would actually hear Harry out now. It was a long shot, but Harry was willing to try. It took years for him to finally say what he’d said last night. He didn’t want to lose that momentum. He didn’t want to go back home after the semester was over and act like nothing happened.

Harry (9:07 AM): Where?

Dad (9:07 AM): I’ll come to campus. Meet me at the stadium?

Harry (9:07 AM): Alright. See you in 15.

After quietly crawling out of bed and getting dressed, Harry tiptoed out of Louis’ room. He made his way back to his own dorm room to quickly shower. Once he was ready, Harry walked over to the stadium. Jack was already standing by at the entrance, his hands in his pocket. As Harry approached him, he was reminded of how similar they both looked, save for the years between them. Same brown hair, same round, green eyes, and long nose.

“Morning,” Jack called out.

“Morning,” Harry greeted once he reached him. “You stayed back?”

“I was in a motel about twenty minutes from here,” he confirmed. “Rough night.”

“Why didn’t you just go home?”

“I didn’t want to leave things the way they were, Harry. I wanted to be here in case you were up for talking it out.”

The fact that he’d made the effort and was willing to talk gave Harry hope. This could be a really good thing. He nodded his head and Jack began leading the way into the stadium where the football field was.

“Did you get some sleep? Looking a bit tired,” Jack noted as they walked side by side.

“Some, yeah.”

“It’s Saturday, so you can always take a nap if you need.”

Harry nodded in agreement, eyes trained on the grass below them, dewy and wet from the sprinklers.

“There’s a reason why I asked you to come here specifically. I have to admit, Harry, it was shocking to hear that you feel this way about football. You’d never expressed this to me before.”

“I’ve tried,” he replied. “Not so directly, but I have. There were times when I told you I didn’t want to spend every break at football camp. I hated those diets and workout regimens you had me do.”

“I thought that was just general teenage laziness,” Jack explained. “Look, I don’t think you hate football. I think maybe you’re just burnt out. I’m hoping we can talk through everything and being here can remind you of how great it is to be on the field. There’s magic here. Football is so loved, Harry. People love you now and if you continue, millions more will love you.”

Harry was already shaking his head as he frowned at his dad. “That’s not what I want. I do hate football, Dad. I meant every word.”

“So you just lied to me all these years?”

“I didn’t lie to you,” Harry exhaled. “I just never defied you. I wanted to make you happy. I did what I thought was expected of me. I felt like I never had a say in this.”

“So why now?” Jack asked. “Why tell me now?”

“Because it feels like the right time. Last night was the last football game of my high school career. It went great and I’m happy with how it turned out. But the thought of doing more makes me feel sick.”

“Harry, just listen. I’ll allow you to have this break,” Jack said. “You can rest and recharge and then next year, you’ll see. You’ll feel brand new about it.”

“No, Dad,” Harry insisted, his voice firm. “I’ve told you. I’m done. Rest isn’t going to change that. My mind isn’t going to be swayed next year.”

Jack let out a heavy sigh. “Harry, do you have any idea what you’re throwing away? People would kill to have this. So many of your teammates would kill for the opportunities you’re getting. Do you realize that?”

“Just because others want what I have doesn’t mean I need to want it, too.”

“If you’re not going to play football then what are you planning to do?” Jack slowed his steps and looked at Harry reproachingly.

Harry lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I’ve no idea. I want to go to college, I know that, but I don’t know for what. I need help to figure that out. I need time. Whether you want to be there for that is up to you.”

“You’re my son,” Jack breathed out. “You know I love you.”

Harry nodded, his eyes hopeful as he looked back at his dad.

“But I’m not happy with this, Harry. We made plans.”

“You made plans.”

“For your benefit! For you! Don’t act like it was for me.”

“I’m telling you I don’t want that life,” Harry cried exasperatedly. “Tell me you get that.”

“I get it,” Jack nodded. “But the only way that I’m going to pay for your education is if you agree to keep playing.”

Harry’s lips parted, ready to fight and argue, but he stopped short. There was no point. Jack was not going to understand. It was time Harry accepted that. He swallowed thickly and nodded his head. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

“Do you understand that, Harry? I’m not paying for anything.”

“I heard you,” Harry said. “But don’t expect me to want you in my life if this is how you’re going to be.”

He walked toward the exit and let out a shaky breath. As good as it felt to finally let all of that out, it felt twice as bad to know that his time here was done. His future was bleak and uncertain. He had no family to turn to. His situation with Louis was still a mess. And he didn’t know where he was headed.

₊˚⊹♡

“Come in,” Harry called out as he continued to grab clothes from his dresser and dump them into the suitcases he had laid out on the floor.

Niall and Zayn opened the door and walked inside, both quiet as they took in the scene before them. Harry had made quite a mess, but he was in a rush to leave as quickly as he could.

“Dude,” Niall said.

“What are you doing?” Zayn asked him, brows furrowed.

“What’s it look like?” Harry responded, purposely being difficult.

“But why?” Niall inquired, walking further in as he looked at all the clothes that were strewn about the bed and floor. “Term’s not over for another week.”

“I’m dropping out,” Harry informed them without sparing them a glance. He was sure both of them looked flabbergasted at the sudden news.

As he went to grab the clothes from the next drawer, he felt a hand on his shoulder, stilling him. Zayn looked at him with a calm and comforting expression. “Give us five minutes and explain?”

Harry swallowed. “There’s nothing to explain.”

“Don’t shut us out, H,” Niall pleaded, biting the nail on his thumb anxiously as he took a seat on his desk chair. “Just tell us. We want to be here for you.”

“It’s my dad,” Harry answered. “He won’t pay for school if I’m not playing football.”

“You told him you don’t want to play anymore?” Zayn lifted his brows in surprise.

Harry nodded in response. They were both aware that he wasn’t the biggest fan of the sport or the strict and overbearing way Jack had him work for it. In fact, they had encouraged Harry years ago to just tell his dad, but Harry couldn’t.

“That’s so f*cked,” Niall sighed. “Just because you don’t want to play, he won’t pay for your school? After all the work you put in for your classes? Feels like a waste.”

“It was never about that for him. He only cares about football. Now that I refuse to play, he won’t let me stay here or go to college.”

Zayn looked pensive as he took in Harry’s words while Niall continued to tear through his nails with his teeth. Harry returned to packing, grabbing more of his things and packing them haphazardly.

“Are you just going to go back home?” Zayn asked after a while.

“For a couple of days until I can figure out another living arrangement,” he responded. “I don’t want to stay with my dad.”

“But where will you go, Harry?”

“I really don’t f*cking know,” he said exhaling a droll laugh. “I can’t f*cking think right now.”

“So take a moment to do that! Have you considered sticking it out and letting him believe what he wants? I mean, football isn’t even on next term, so you won’t have to play. It’ll also give you time to have a proper plan for next year.”

“No,” Harry shook his head determinedly. “I’m sick of this. I’m sick of acting like I’m this big campus legend. I don’t want to pretend when I’m literally just a mess.”

“You’re not,” Zayn told him, still calm as he approached him carefully. “You’re going through some sh*t. With your dad and Louis and it’s okay.”

“This isn’t about Louis,” Harry said.

“No, this is about football, but Louis and you have been on weird ground lately and it’s obvious to all of us that it’s weighing on you. I’m sure that’s adding to it.”

“I’m in love with him,” Harry admitted, his voice quiet before he raised it resolutely. “I’m in love with Louis.”

Niall gaped at him with wide eyes while Zayn tried hiding a smirk behind his fist. He wanted to whack them both over the heads but refrained. Instead, he grabbed another duffle bag from his closet and started stuffing his books inside of it.

“Is this... a new development?” Zayn asked him.

Harry shook his head. “I think I’ve been in love with him for a while. I just haven’t said it out loud until now.”

“Does this mean you guys are back together?” Niall inquired.

He breathed out a chuckle. “No. We aren’t, as far as I know. It’s weird, this whole thing. I mean, yeah, I love him, but what does that even mean? Is it real? I don’t know.”

“What are you on about?” Zayn groaned. “You love him. Isn’t it obvious?”

“I’m still trying to figure out if what we had was real,” Harry said. “It’s the furthest thing from obvious.”

₊˚⊹♡

Each step Harry took toward the headmaster’s office felt heavy and filled him with dread. The truth of the matter was, that as much as he was rushing to get out of there, he didn’t actually want to leave. His ego may be pushing him to defy his father, but Harry loved Saint Augustine. He wasn’t ready to leave it yet. He’d been looking forward to spending his last few months as a senior. Like Niall said, he earned his way here. He loved every minute of it, even sh*tty f*cking football no matter how much he disliked the sport.

He’d made a decision, though. He’d packed his things and his friends were waiting back in the room for him so that they could say one last goodbye before he headed out. He just needed to get to the headmaster’s office and tell him he was dropping out.

As he turned the corner and approached the office, he saw Louis standing at the end of the hall. The moment Louis spotted Harry, he ran toward him, out of breath as he grabbed Harry’s arms and shook him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Louis demanded.

“I could be asking you the same thing,” Harry replied, raising his brow in alarm.

“You’re actually going to drop out? Harry, are you out of your mind?”

“How did you...”

And then it hit him. Zayn. Meddling Zayn texted Louis and told him. Harry was going to kick his ass.

“It doesn’t matter,” Louis said, shaking his head. “Tell me you’re not doing this.”

“Louis, my dad’s not going to pay for school if I’m not playing football. It took a lot for me to finally tell him I’ve decided this. I’m not going to allow him to bully and bribe me into it.”

“You won’t! Tuition is paid yearly and he’s already paid for you to be here this whole year.”

“It’s the principle of it. I can’t stay here.”

“f*ck the principle,” Louis cried. “You worked so hard to be where you are, Harry. Don’t allow him to do this. He doesn’t get a say in your future, but you’re giving into what he wants.”

“I’m not. I’m just —”

“You leaving school and not finishing out your senior year will do absolutely nothing. But you finishing out your senior year at the top of the class and quitting football will show him that’s not all you’re worth. You’re brilliant, Harry. You can’t leave. You can’t leave me.”

A bitter smile spread across his face. “Wouldn’t you be glad if I left? You’d be at the top of the class rankings without me ruining it for you.”

“I don’t care about that,” Louis confessed. “I don’t care about the class rankings or anything other than being with you. I will forget all of that if it means being with you.”

Harry felt his cheeks bloom with heat. “You really mean that?”

“Yes,” Louis exclaimed. “Besides, I don’t want an easy win. I want to fight for it. I want a fair chance at beating you.”

This time, Harry fully grinned. “You’re so full of sh*t, Louis.”

“I’m so in love with you,” Louis said, eyes wide and earnest as he stared into Harry’s. Just like last night.

“Aren’t you supposed to hate me?”

“I’d hate you if I could. You’ve made it pretty impossible. But I am angry with you.”

“I can tell.”

“Well, it’s not just because you’re trying to drop out.”

“What else?”

“You left me this morning,” Louis said, his voice tinged with nervousness. “You don’t get to just kiss me like you did last night — like you love me — and then leave me alone in bed the next day.”

“I didn’t,” Harry explained. “It wasn’t intentional. I was going to stay, but my dad was still here and he wanted to talk.”

“You should have woken me up. I felt like sh*t when I saw you weren’t there.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, moving close so he could place his palms over Louis’ shoulders and wrap them around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”

Louis nodded, accepting his apology. “Please, let’s go to my room and talk. We can figure it all out.”

“There’s a lot to figure out.”

“We’ll do it together?” Louis asked, his blue eyes hopeful. “I’m sorry for f*cking it up between us, but I’m trying my best to fix it. I need you in my life, Harry.”

“I’m here, Lou,” Harry admitted, his words laced with promise. “I’m always going to be here for you.”

Louis exhaled in relief, his breath shuddering as Harry dipped his head down to kiss him. Each brush of their lips was achingly gentle. It was comforting and familiar and felt like home. The scorching heat of Louis’ mouth lingered over Harry’s and he clutched the back of Harry’s neck to keep him close, the two of them drawn together like magnets.

Slowly, they drew back and rested their foreheads together. “Will you stay?” Louis asked.

“I’ll stay,” Harry promised, his lips nipping wet kisses down Louis’ jaw. “I love you, too, by the way.”

Louis let out a surprised sound, his eyes widening. “You don’t have to say that if you aren’t ready. I told you that.”

“I know, but I wanted to tell you because it’s true. I love you.”

“Harry,” Louis crinkled his nose, looking bashful all of a sudden.

“Don’t you believe me?” Harry laughed and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I do,” Louis nodded. “I love you.”

Harry smiled back, brushing the pad of his thumb over Louis’ bottom lip before taking Louis’ chin between his thumb and forefinger and angling his face up to kiss him deeply. It was funny when he really thought about it. The moment Harry had lain eyes on Louis all those years ago, he’d known that something about this boy was special. It just never clicked how. Like Louis said, they had a lot to figure out. The thought was daunting, but Harry would rather do it with Louis than be without him.

Chapter 9: EPILOGUE | LOUIS & HARRY

Chapter Text

| LOUIS

Louis gently placed each of the envelopes in front of him on his bed. He stared at them all laid out while nervously twisting his fingers together.

Princeton. Yale. And lastly, Harvard.

All three early decisions came in at the same time, waiting for him in his mailbox when he woke up this morning. Initially, he felt like they couldn’t come soon enough. He was antsy to know whether he got in or not. Now that they were here, he couldn’t get himself to open them. He was anxious and nervous because so much of what he’d been working towards all these years was leading up to this. He wasn’t sure he was ready to look at them yet.

Plus, he wasn’t in that same mindset anymore, when all he’d cared about was college and class rankings. Louis’ priorities had shifted so suddenly within the last few weeks. He didn’t feel like the same person anymore, but he could also feel the old him somewhere deep inside, trying to claw up his throat and remind him of what should be important to him.

His phone buzzed beside him on the side table and Louis picked it up when he saw Harry’s name on the screen. He accepted the call and felt silly as a blush crept up his neck. They hadn’t even spoken yet and he was already feeling all fluttery inside.

“Hello,” he greeted.

“Hi, Lou,” Harry replied, his voice tinny over the speaker. “Are you busy?”

“No. What’s up?”

“I have a proposition for you, but I don’t know if you’ll say yes. And if you don’t say yes, I think that’d make me really sad.”

A slow smile crept up on Louis’ face. “Well, I won’t be able to tell you unless you ask me.”

“Well,” Harry started. “My family’s got this cabin up in Vermont. It’s one we all share. My extended family goes from time to time and I’ve gone with my dad as well. I was wondering if you’d want to go with me.”

“Oh,” Louis breathed out. “This break?”

“Yeah. I was thinking tomorrow morning?” Harry answered apprehensively. “I know it’s your birthday, but I promise it’ll be fun. Road trips are always a good time and it’s really relaxing up in the cabin. I just thought we’d spend time together. Unless you’ve already got plans. If that’s the case, I understand.”

“I don’t. I wasn’t going to really do anything. But, Harry, are you sure? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. I just — I don’t really want to be here.”

“I get it,” Louis said, staring down at his green bed sheets and tracing patterns over them. “You don’t have to explain. I’ll go with you.”

“Really?” Harry asked, his tone laced with disbelief.

“Yeah. Of course.”

“f*ck yeah! I promise it’ll be a good time.”

“I’m excited,” Louis laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll pick you up at seven sharp.”

“Okay, sounds good. How long will we stay? Just so I know how much I should pack.”

“A few days, if that works for you.”

Louis nodded before realizing Harry couldn’t see him. “That works for me.”

Harry exhaled into the phone. “It means a lot that you’re going with me.”

“Harry, of course, I’d want to spend my birthday with my boyfriend. Trust me. This is no hardship.”

“Still getting used to you calling me that,” Harry giggled. “I miss you, boyfriend.”

Louis squeezed his eyes shut as he fell back on his bed, giddy and red in the cheeks. “I miss you, too.”

“Well, you won’t have to miss me for too long. I’ll see you in just a few hours.”

“Can’t wait. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They finally hung up, and Louis stared up at his white ceiling and wondered how he ended up with Harry Styles as his boyfriend. Five months ago, the very idea of it would have had a very strong and different reaction from him. Now, Louis couldn’t be happier.

They’d made it official as soon as they got back to his room after Louis stopped Harry from dropping out of school. They had a long hard talk about why Louis phased Harry out, why Harry retaliated the way he did, and where they hoped to go from there. The two of them sat up for hours before eventually making up and having sex. Just thinking about it made Louis’ stomach knot and his lower belly tug tightly. In a few hours, he’d see Harry again, and they’d have days to spend together all to themselves. He couldn’t wait.

Getting out of bed, Louis grabbed his carry-on suitcase from his closet and began packing. He got a few sets of clothes and then added in some extras just in case they ended up staying longer than expected. After he finished packing, he went downstairs to see if his parents were around. Louis realized belatedly that he never asked them for their permission, but figured that neither of them would really care. William and Lenora had been busy with their respective jobs since Louis arrived from school. They had dinner together the first night, but since then, Louis had pretty much been on his own.

When he made it downstairs, he found his dad sitting by the fireplace with his phone in hand as he furiously typed on it. His mom was in the dining room, sitting at the table with her laptop out. Both had their heads down, engrossed in whatever they were doing.

Louis cleared his throat. “Can I speak to you both for a second?”

“Sure,” Lenora said, looking up from her screen. “What’s going on, sweetie?”

“I’m going on a trip tomorrow with my friend,” Louis said. “Just wanted to give you a heads up that I won’t be home for a few days.”

Lenora took off her glasses and placed them on the table. “You’re leaving? But you just got here.”

“And it’s your birthday tomorrow,” William pointed out. “I thought we were all having dinner.”

Louis pressed his lips together as he looked at them sheepishly. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to go. I hope you guys are okay with having dinner when I’m back.”

“Is this friend Liam?” Lenora asked then.

“No. It’s my friend, Harry,” Louis responded.

“I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned a Harry.”

“He’s from Saint Augustine. We’re going up to his family cabin in Vermont.”

William’s brows furrowed with worry, but he looked like he was struggling with what to say.

Lenora smiled begrudgingly. “Alright, then. If that’s what you’d like to do.”

“It is,” Louis affirmed. “We just made the plan, otherwise, I would have told you sooner.”

“That’s fine,” she said. “Just leave us Harry’s number in case we need to reach you and you’re not responding. Also, send us the address once you’re there.”

“Got it.”

“Did you get your grades back yet?” William asked. “Figured I’d ask you now while you’re here since you won’t be tomorrow.”

Louis shook his head. “I haven’t. They’ll be posted tomorrow, most likely.”

William hummed in acknowledgment before going back to his phone. Louis began walking back to his room and wondered if he should check on his grades now in case they were posted early. The letters took a few days to come, but grades were posted online earlier. However, he knew if he checked them now, his mindset would completely change. Depending on how he did, it could potentially ruin his mood and this trip.

Louis definitely didn’t want that. His grades would be here whenever he got back. He’d much rather go to Vermont with Harry tomorrow and have a good time than worry about stupid numbers.

| HARRY

“Where are you off to?”

Jack’s words stilled Harry as he was walking toward the front door with his weekender bag in hand. He sort of threw in anything he could find in the bag, more focused on getting out of the house as fast as he could than packing thoroughly. That and being with Louis again. Winter break had started only three days ago, but Harry thought it felt like years. Seeing Louis and even doing something as simple as breathing beside him felt like a necessity at this point. Harry thought it would be a shot in the dark to ask Louis to get away with him, but Louis agreed pretty fast. Maybe that meant Louis missed him just as much.

Harry slowly turned to face his dad. “I’m headed up to the Vermont cabin.”

Jack frowned. “It’s Christmas Eve. Why are you going there now? We have people coming over tomorrow and you know Cherry is cooking a whole feast.”

“No offense, Dad, but spending the holidays with my stepmother’s family isn’t really high on the list of my priorities. Especially when I don’t know them.”

“But you know me and Cherry. We’re hosting, Harry. Come on,” Jack insisted.

“I’m sure you guys will do a great job, but I really don’t want to be here.”

Sighing, Jack rubbed at his temple. “Is this about school and football? We can talk about that. We never really finished our conversation.”

“I don’t know,” Harry hesitated. “I should get going. Someone’s waiting for me as well.”

“If you’re going to insist on spending the holidays away from home, the least you can do is give me some time.”

Harry let out an exasperated breath as he placed his bag on the floor by the door and walked back to where his dad was standing. “Fine. Let’s talk.”

Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “Have you had more time to think about what I proposed?”

“Do you mean your ultimatum where you will pay for school only if I play football?” Harry asked sardonically.

“It’s not an ultimatum.”

“That is the definition of an ultimatum. Either way, I don’t agree. I’ve told you that my decision was final regarding football.”

“Then what else is there for you to do?” Jack guffawed. “Wouldn’t you rather play and go to college as opposed to not having a plan at all?”

Harry shook his head disbelievingly. “I don’t think you get how much I don’t want to play football. I think you’re in denial.”

“In denial?” Jack scoffed. “Harry, you’re throwing away your whole future and I’m just trying to help you get back on the right path.”

“It’s not the right path just because you think it is — just because it worked for you. Dad, if you’re not going to help me...if you’re not going to listen to me and my wishes and hopes for my future, then that’s fine. I’ll figure something else out. Right now, I need space from you.”

Jack’s expression morphed into one of hurt and confusion. As bad as Harry felt for the only parent he’d had and known, this was for him to figure out and work through. It was the parents’ job to understand and help their kids. Harry wasn’t sure if Jack ever really listened to him, but he hoped they’d reach a common ground at some point in the future. It was evident it wasn’t going to happen now. Harry walked back over to grab his bag and opened the front door while slipping on his sneakers.

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” Jack called back.

“Merry Christmas,” he replied primly, facing away from him.

“Be safe and I’ll see you soon.”

Harry walked out and closed the door behind him. After stashing his bag in the trunk of his car, he got gas before heading over to Louis’ place. As he got closer, he texted Louis that he was near. Upon arriving, he smiled broadly when he saw Louis was already standing outside with his bag and waiting for him. Before Harry could get out of the car and help him in, Louis was already walking toward the car and hopping into the passenger side. He stashed his bag in the back seat and grinned at Harry.

“Hi!”

Harry smiled, his first genuine one in days, as he cupped Louis’ cheek and leaned close. “Hi. I missed you,” he said, giving him a light kiss on the lips.

Louis’ hand came up to hold Harry’s. “Missed you, too.”

“Happy birthday. You’re so f*cking old.”

“f*ck off,” Louis scrunched his nose.

Harry kissed him again, deeper and more purposeful. When he drew back, Louis’ eyes had already darkened, but this was not the time or place. They’d have plenty of time for that later.

“Shall we go?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Louis said.

| LOUIS

The Styles family vacation house was nestled amongst tall, deep green fir trees. Surrounded entirely by a vast forest, the large cabin looked both homey and right out of a horror movie as well. After getting out of the car and stretching out their legs, Harry led Louis inside. It was cold since no one had been there in a while, so Harry quickly turned up the heat and said he’d start a fire as well. While he was busy with that, Louis grabbed their bags from the car, put them inside the entryway, and walked around to scope out the place. The rooms all had high ceilings and large windows overlooking the snowy exterior. There were several bedrooms in addition to a large rec room where they had a home theatre, hundreds of DVDs, every video game imaginable, and a stack of board games.

“What do you think?” Harry asked, coming up behind him.

“Impressive,” Louis remarked. “Does it get creepy at night, though?”

“Sometimes,” Harry replied. “But it’s okay. We can fight the ghosts and axe murderers together.”

“Amazing,” Louis drawled sarcastically. He let out a yawn as he followed Harry back to the entrance area to take their bags to one of the empty bedrooms. “Should we take a nap?”

Harry hummed as he walked into one of the larger bedrooms. “I think you should. I have something to do.”

Louis frowned. “What do you have to do?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just freshen up and rest.”

“Is this the part of the movie where I take a nap, let my guard down, and wake up to find you really are a killer who led me unbeknownst into a cabin in the woods to murder me?”

Harry co*cked his head to the side with an unimpressed look. “If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it years ago.”

“I bet you there were plenty of times when you really wanted to.”

“Not as much as you did.”

Louis laughed as he leaned into him. Harry gazed at him while he wrapped his arms around Louis’ narrow waist. “And now?” he asked.

“And now, I love you and I want to spend my break with you. Have I mentioned how much I missed you?”

Louis smiled softly. He could tell Harry had a lot weighing on him. They didn’t talk about it much on the drive over. They did a lot of singing with all the playlists Harry made for them. They also pigged out on fast food. Louis took over driving at some point to give Harry relief. But Louis could tell there was more to it. Harry may be acting casual, but he was dealing with a lot.

“Fine,” he relented, glancing around the bedroom. His eyes were instantly drawn toward the large, king-sized bed in the center against the window with a flannel bedspread over it, and the longer Louis looked at it, the more he was ready for that nap. He headed to the bathroom to freshen up while Harry brought out some extra blankets.

By the time he was out of the bathroom, Harry was already gone. Louis changed into pajamas and got into bed. He was out like a light the moment his head hit the pillow. He hadn’t slept much since they had an early start to their drive and long journeys always tired him out. When he woke up, it was to the sound of Harry softly calling his name. Louis slowly blinked his eyes open and smiled when he saw Harry grinning back at him.

“Hi,” he murmured.

“Hi,” Harry responded, stroking his hair. “I’ve got something for you.”

As Louis rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, his smile grew. In Harry’s hand was a perfectly baked chocolate cake with light blue cream frosting on top. He’d even spelled Louis’ name out with rainbow sprinkles.

“What is this?” Louis asked, sitting up properly. “You baked me a cake?”

“I did,” Harry replied proudly. “Surprise!”

Louis laughed, looking from Harry to the cake. “Thank you. I love it. I love you.”

“Love you more,” Harry said as he placed a candle on top of the cake. He took a lighter and lit it up for Louis and held it out to him. “Make a wish.”

As Louis closed his eyes, he wondered what it was he wanted this year. Every year, he’d always wished for good grades, but that wasn’t what made him happiest anymore. No, it was something greater. What made him happy now was something he couldn’t have ever imagined he’d be lucky enough to have.

Harry. Harry. Harry.

Louis smiled and blew out the candle.

| HARRY

Later that night, after taking a nap together, Harry and Louis ventured into the kitchen to make some dinner. Harry had bought some groceries the night before and had them packed away in the trunk of his car. It was mostly simple stuff that they could whip up without much effort. Pasta boxes, various pasta sauces, salad ingredients, and an abundance of snacks.

“How’s the sauce doing?” Harry asked Louis while he strained the spaghetti.

“I think it’s about done,” Louis replied as he stirred the pot. Harry left the spaghetti in the strainer while he pulled out plates from the cupboard. When he placed them on the counter, he noticed Louis watching him.

“What’s up?”

“I, uh, got my college letters in the mail yesterday.”

Harry raised his brows. “Oh sh*t. I forgot you did early decisions.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. Didn’t get a chance to. Have you opened your letters?”

Louis shook his head. “Not yet. I can’t get myself to open them.”

“Why?”

Letting out a soft sigh, Louis lifted his shoulder in another shrug. “I’m just trying to not freak out about that stuff as much anymore. I haven’t even checked my grades.”

“I think this is important, though,” Harry said. “It’s important to you.”

“But it’s not everything,” Louis added. “It’s not the main thing I should be focused on. I’m trying to let go of the pressure I put on all of this school stuff.”

Harry’s lips tugged up into a smile. “Look at you. I’m proud of you, Lou.”

“Thank you,” he replied with a small smile.

“Has it been hard or are you okay?”

“I think I’ve been doing alright. My parents can kind of sense it, too. They’ve been giving me space as well. Dad did ask me for my grades last night, but I told him that I hadn’t gotten them yet. If I checked on them, it would just ruin the vibe of this whole trip.”

“I guess,” Harry nodded. “Are you feeling nervous about your grades? I’m sure you did amazing. As always.”

“I’m not sure,” Louis answered.

“Well, either way, it’s okay. You can check your grades when you’re ready. As for your parents, it’s good that they’re giving you the space. Sometimes that’s crucial when you need to figure stuff out with a clear head.”

“I agree. I’m sure I’ll have to talk to them at some point about all of this, but I’ll see.” He nudged Harry’s arm. “What about you? I feel like you’ve barely talked to me about college.”

Harry leaned back against the counter and faced Louis. “I know. It’s only because I haven’t given it a lot of thought. Partly because my dad always talked to me about that stuff like it was already decided for me, and also because I’m not sure what it is that I want to do. I’m kind of hoping to wing it at this point and see how things go.”

“Well, sometimes having no plan is good.”

“Color me surprised. Is Louis Tomlinson claiming that having no plan is a good thing?” Harry teased.

“In your case, yes,” Louis laughed.

“Let’s see,” he said. “I might not even make it to college.”

“Why do you say that?”

“My dad’s still saying he won’t pay for it unless I play football,” Harry explained. “I told him I’m not doing that. I think he’s hoping that I’ll give in since I won’t have any other way to pay for it.”

“That’s so f*cked up.”

“I know. Part of me thinks he’ll come around, but I’m not sure. It might take time, or it might never happen. Either way, I don’t have a ton of money lying around that would fund my college education.”

“Well, do you want to go to college?” Louis asked.

“I do, yeah. I’ve always enjoyed the educational aspect of my school experience. I just don’t know what I’d study or which direction I’d like to go.”

“You’ll have time to figure that out,” Louis reminded him. “You aren’t expected to decide on a major until sophom*ore year. And you can always change it if you want to.”

“I don’t even know if I’ll get to go,” Harry huffed as he grabbed the spoon from Louis’ hand and began stirring the sauce.

“Harry, with your grades, you would definitely get scholarships. You might need to apply for additional ones, but for your grades alone, I’m sure colleges would give you a good chunk.”

Harry actually hadn’t considered that. Since he hadn’t applied for any scholarships, he’d completely forgotten that that could be a viable route to go down. At that, he felt hope bloom in his chest. Maybe it wasn’t all doomed for him.

“Did you bring your letters here with you?” Harry asked Louis, switching the topic back to him.

Louis smiled sheepishly. “I did. They’re in my bag.”

“Do you want to open them together?”

Louis’ eyes lit up. “Actually, yeah. That would make me less nervous.”

Harry nudged Louis toward their room and watched as he disappeared inside of it. He put the drained pasta into the pot and mixed it with the sauce. By the time Louis was back, Harry had turned the stove off and started plating their dinner. Once done, he came behind Louis and saw that he’d placed each letter side by side starting with Princeton and ending with Harvard, which was the college Louis really wanted to go to.

“Are you ready?” Harry asked. Louis took a deep breath and nodded. He opened the first envelope and when Harry read the first sentence, he hugged Louis from behind. “Congrats, baby.”

“Thanks,” Louis mumbled, smiling wide as he read through the whole thing. He received a scholarship, per the letter, and Harry couldn’t help but wonder if his letters would contain something similar.

Yale also accepted Louis, which was no surprise, and now all that was left was Harvard. Harry wrapped his arms tight around Louis’ waist and tucked his head over his shoulder, watching as Louis’ shaky hands ripped open the envelope.

Dear Mr. Tomlinson, we are delighted to inform you...

Both Harry and Louis began jumping up and down and screaming in excitement before they could properly read the rest. Louis was ecstatic, eyes shining as he turned around to hug Harry. Harry picked him up off the floor and spun them around, the two of them laughing and completely red in the face. It was everything Louis deserved and more. As Harry put Louis down and stared down at him with complete adoration in his eyes, he decided that wherever he went, as long as he was close to Louis, he’d be okay.

That was all he wanted.